It's a pity I still love you

Chapter 29
late at night.

After finally coaxing the child to sleep, Liu Nian returned to the living room and sat next to Ni Xiaoxiao, heaving a long sigh.

Her Alai is almost five years old now, and has always been very smart and sensible, but the word "father" seems to be a threshold that he will never cross.

The first time I heard him mention his father was when he was in the first day of kindergarten. Unlike other children who hugged their parents and cried and refused to let go, Alai just looked at the fathers of those children strangely and asked her: "Mom, what's that?"

There are only her and Ni Xiaoxiao in the family. A Lai only has a vague concept of the word "man", and she doesn't know what father means. She remembers being stunned when she heard this question and thinking about it , answered him: "They are 'uncles', when you see them in the future, remember to say 'Hi Uncle', remember?"

A Lai nodded his head, but his brows were still frowning together. His expression was like dyed ink. It was just a momentary trance, and his heart ached. A Lai never knew that he had a father. I don't know that there should be another person in this world who loves him like her, but obviously, Alai is also aware of this problem, and he asked her: "Mom, why don't I have an uncle to see him off?"

Looking at the child's clear eyes, Fleeting Nian was suddenly speechless. When he didn't know the word "father", he asked her why he didn't. This question was asked for nearly two years, but she But has been unable to answer.

Ni Xiaoxiao heard her sigh, and already guessed the reason for her sigh, "Alai asked you about his father again?"

Fleeting Nian rubbed his face with his hands and nodded, "I just told him a fairy tale. The ending of the story is that the prince, princess and their children lived happily together, but Alai asked me: 'Mom, Where is your prince?' It was only then that I realized that fairy tales are not meant to be told indiscriminately."

It's really dumbfounding. When Ni Xiaoxiao heard this, she couldn't help but sighed. After a while, she asked her: "Fleeting Years, are you really not going to tell him about the senior? A Lai?" He never played house with other children, you should understand why, no matter what, you should let Alai know that he also has a father."

"I think so too, but what do you want me to say? How can I explain that he will understand that his father is still alive, but he can't recognize him?"

Before Ni Xiaoxiao had time to answer, he heard a childish voice: "Why is my father still alive, but I can't recognize him?"

Liu Nian and Ni Xiaoxiao were startled, they hurriedly turned their heads to look over, and saw that Alai had left the bedroom at some point, and was standing at the door of the bedroom looking at them.

*
Liu Nian passed by a newsstand when she got off work the next day, stopped habitually, and bought a newspaper. She is now the editor of a sports magazine, and she is not so well informed about news in other industries, and she also needs newspapers to assist her in obtaining information.

Taking the newspaper, he glanced at it roughly, but couldn't help but be stunned when he saw a line of words: Municipal Party Secretary Ran Zhimo's wedding date has been set.

There was a "thud" in my heart. I knew that such a day would come, but when it really came, I felt it was so sudden.

She even thought a moment ago whether she should tell Alai who his father was, but now it seemed that she didn't need to. She couldn't let Alai know that his father already had his own family, and he wasn't among the members.

Walking all the way home, I was in a trance, many thoughts flashed in my mind, but it seemed that I didn't think of anything, it was blank.

When she entered the house, Ni Xiaoxiao had brought Alai back. The child was practicing the piano in the house, while Ni Xiaoxiao was sitting on the sofa in the living room, looking hard to speak.

Seeing her expression, Liu Nian knew that she already knew that Ran Zhimo was going to get married, and didn't want to discuss it too much, so Liu Nian said first: "I'll cook!"

"No need, Alai and I ate outside, and we brought you your meal back. Fleeting Years, I ran into Senior Ran in the hospital this morning." Ni Xiaoxiao said, paused, looked He glanced at the fleeting expression.

"Really?" Fleeting Nian lowered his head and responded lightly.

Ni Xiaoxiao continued: "His mother is seriously ill and lives in the hospital. His greatest hope is to watch him get married."

"Well, he's not young anymore, it's time for him to get married." Fleeting Nian paused, and then said, "Think about it, this is actually pretty good, he has his own family, and soon he will have his own children. When he has another child, I can let him know of Alai's existence, at that time, he can no longer rob Alai from me, and Alai can also have a father, isn't that great?" She said , with an indifferent look, walked to the dining table, opened the bag and took out the food inside.

Ni Xiaoxiao didn't expect her to say that, she was taken aback, she didn't know how to refute for a moment, she thought for a long time, and just asked: "Liu Nian, do you remember why you named A Lai in the first place?"

Why take this name...

At that time, she thought of the relatives who had left her, and she only hoped that Alai would not encounter a situation similar to hers in her life. She could keep her most important people and things if she came or not.

"You hope that the most important thing to him will not leave, but with you like this, he can't have a complete family, and he can't have a father who loves him. In fleeting years, you lost your father, and you are very sad. You won't forgive Senior Ran, but you have I never thought that Alai would be sad if he didn't have a father, and he might not forgive you!"

How can you not know?For such a long time, this is what she thinks about every day, but what can be done now that it has become like this?
Liu Nian's hand holding the chopsticks stopped, and he couldn't help but smiled wryly, "Then what do you want me to do?" She looked at Ni Xiaoxiao, which was the most helpless rhetorical question.

"The wedding hasn't happened yet, Fleeting Years, you go to him now, everything is still there..."

Before Ni Xiaoxiao finished speaking, Fleeting Nian interrupted: "Go to him now? Tell him that he has an illegitimate child. In order for his illegitimate child to grow up healthily and happily, he can't get married yet?" Liu Young scoffed. A cry, "I feel like I've been a joke all these years!"

What I got was Ni Xiaoxiao's firm three words: "You are!"

"Su Liunian, for so many years, you and Ben couldn't let go of him. You pretended that you didn't care about anything, but your acting skills were so clumsy that I could see through it at a glance, but you never got tired of it. Su Liunian, do you really know? , your father, mother, and Luoluo, they have all gone, there is no way to change that, but Senior Ran has been waiting for you for nine years and another five years, you will not understand at all, Whenever I think of this, I'm so jealous of you that I'm going crazy!"

The voice fell, and the living room was surprisingly quiet, only the sound of the piano came intermittently from Alai's room, the notes were not very coherent, but it was vaguely recognizable as the song "Little Star Variations", children often play the wrong notes , but Alai was able to persist in practicing over and over again until the end, and gradually became proficient.

This point is inherited from the characteristics of Dian Zhimo. His patience seems to be surprisingly good, unlike her, who often does things without beginning and end. The most persistent thing he has done so far is to like him.

That's why she stays in this city and is reluctant to leave, and that's why she watches the boring news that she often complains about on time every day. A friend told her that she was so jealous that she was going crazy, as if she could touch happiness as long as she stretched out her hand, as if her current suffering and pain in her heart were all caused by herself.

Hearing the familiar melody of "Little Star", she realized that time has passed for so long. Her Alai is growing up day by day, and she is getting older day by day. She smiled softly, Xiaoxiao said to Ni: "The day my father was arrested, he hugged me and kept saying 'I'm sorry' to me. I broke away from him and left without looking back; five years ago, he asked me to go back By his side, I lied to him to beat the child and left him until today, we have been separated for so long, he is finally going to get married, this may be the best ending, I can't go to him at this time, I I just don’t want my life to circle in the same place for 30 years. Maybe this is not the most correct answer, but you know, I’m really not that brave, and I’m afraid to find out that I’ve made a mistake. So many years."

Ni Xiaoxiao looked at her, speechless for a while.

*
two months later.

The news of the big wedding of the secretary of the municipal party committee allowed citizens to watch the wedding at the entrance of the church where the wedding was held. This news spread two months before the wedding, and successfully made the headlines of all influential local newspapers.Speaking of the wedding of the secretary of the municipal party committee, it was considered a major event. I heard that the woman is the daughter of a family, and these two people can be regarded as talented and beautiful, and well-matched.

The float drove through a few streets, and the onlookers had already surrounded the church entrance. It happened to be a weekend, and I didn’t have to go to work. The bride with a happy smile on her face didn't know this person in Fleeting Years, but it didn't matter if she knew her or not.

She doesn't know what state of mind she is in now. She knows very well that after this wedding, the relationship between her and him is over. The 17-year childhood sweetheart, the nine-year separation, and the five-year elusiveness are all over. it's over.

She told Ni Xiaoxiao that it was impossible for her to stop the wedding. She was not qualified, but it was not a pleasant thing to watch the wedding. She told herself in her heart: It’s okay, everything will happen soon. It's over.

The wedding march sounded in the church, and outside the church, she heard the people behind her praise the bride and groom inside as a match made in heaven, and her heart was full of sadness. She was not as magnanimous as she imagined, but she could already look at him Marry someone else without crying.

(End of this chapter)