Old things in the south

Chapter 60 The late blooming rhododendron (2)
For a while she doubted marriage itself, and loathed it.During the Anti-Japanese War, I lived in the middle of the mountain not far from Chongqing, and occasionally went down the mountain to a classmate's house to walk around.Always leave in good spirits and return in disappointment.Several classmates are married, dragging three or four children, and they are frowning, except for the children, it is life.I don't know if it's out of sympathy for her unmarried situation, or the truth, when the classmates always said in unison when they saw her: "Play for a few more years before getting married, don't suffer this crime!" Those words were indeed advice to her, no matter who spoke What is the intention.She simply does not want to marry, if every married woman is like that.She feels that women in modern times sing about women's liberation, but they are obviously adding a hoop to themselves. They can't leave their families, and they can't bear to give up the self-esteem of new women. They live in contradictory thoughts and can't breathe. Come.She doubted marriage and didn't understand the reality, so she didn't even move around with her classmates. She seemed to be out of touch with their lives, and she simply squatted on the middle of the mountain to guard her desk and couldn't get down.

That's it, the path she took and the path of marriage turned out to be in the opposite direction, gradually drifting away.She looked back, and she couldn't believe that what she walked unknowingly was such a long period of time!Since when did people put her in the most terrifying and taboo names for women?

"It's time to get married!" It's not that she hasn't thought about it. Every time she attends a friend's wedding, she can hear such a joke: "When will you have your wedding wine?" But it's not to her, but to those young girls, It seems that she is no longer blessed to enjoy this sentence with infinite longing.How cruel time is, what people have taken her for, she knows.

She also knows that in many occasions when women and marriage are discussed, people will evade the important and consider her present, just like there are people with pockmarked faces and body odor in the living room, and they should always be cautious when speaking.But she also knows how people will talk about her behind her back: "Why isn't she married yet?" In the final analysis, it is always "you can't get high, you can't get low". Do your best" Ah!But marriage thus turned out to be a difficult problem for her.

Suxian is the destination of a woman like her?During the few years in Taiwan, someone occasionally mentioned marriage to her, but she couldn't get out of this circle. She even wondered if those people really killed their wives, or were they trying to create a "counter-offensive wife"!But even such an opportunity is rare for her.

Therefore, she thinks it is worth considering her cousin's kindness, just as her cousin said, she might as well give it a try, try it.

Maybe one day finally, leave this single dormitory, leave this single bed!

Yafang stood up suddenly from the bed, but the bamboo bed couldn't bear her movement, and it creaked again.

Yafang, who was sitting in front of the mirror and doing her makeup, looked at the several cheongsams on the bed and worried. She didn't know which one would be more suitable for her to wear for today's banquet.She casually picked up a green cheongsam to compare to her body, and subconsciously smiled at the mirror, hoping that this expression would give her a satisfactory answer, but when she saw three fishtail-like fine lines at the end of the eyes of the person in the mirror, , suddenly an inexplicable sadness welled up in my heart, how much beauty do I have left?Is youth really fleeting?

In order to make her dress not be seen as "obviously worked hard", Yafang really put in a lot of effort.She didn't know what kind of man the other party was, and expressed her indifferent attitude towards this matter, she didn't ask her cousin anything.Alas, as long as that person is not Zhu Bajie, she is also willing to grasp this home that has become increasingly rare for her. "Destination", how much she hated people adding these two words to women in the past, but she had to admit that she already had the feeling that life in a single dormitory was not a long-term solution.

Sitting on the tricycle, the current of thoughts has not been interrupted. She persuaded herself not to be too contradictory, too worried, and to relax, but it was impossible.She has never been so excited as today, so when the car passed the door of her cousin's house, she was still looking straight ahead, wondering what to think, if the little nephews waiting at the door shouted "Biao Aunt, Biao Aunt", the car is about to exit the alley.

The cousin and his wife came out to welcome them, more polite than usual, asking about their health, and smiling kindly. She was afraid of that kind of smile, and there was sympathy in the smile that "speaks without saying anything", and she didn't want anyone's sympathy!
Walking into the small living room, it was already crowded with guests.Zhao, Qian, Sun, Li... her brother-in-law introduced her one by one. She smiled and felt annoyed. Although she nodded along with her brother-in-law's introduction, she didn't remember any of them.She only blamed her brother-in-law for inviting so many people to watch the fun?Or is it to dilute the restrained atmosphere of introducing friends?Then the brother-in-law seemed to emphasize his tone:
"This is the director of Zhang Yin's sample sheet factory, and this is our cousin, Miss Han Yafang..."

Zhang Yinxiang?Such a familiar name!She hoped her ears heard correctly, ah!Standing up opposite is that Zhang Yinxiang, not bad at all!What a wonderful coincidence, the day before yesterday this person rolled in her sea of ​​memories, so gently!The two pairs of surprised eyes met, and Yafang quickly lowered her head, took the hand of her little nephew who was standing beside her and sat down, rubbing and holding it.

The air in the living room suddenly fell into a momentary silence because of the entry of a strange female guest. In order to break the stuffy air, my brother-in-law shouted loudly:

"Zong Yu, can I eat?"

The guests also laughed at the sound of the host. In fact, there was nothing ridiculous in this sentence, but Yafang couldn't help but smile along with everyone, because everyone wanted to ease the restrained atmosphere with good intentions.

After a while, there was a lot of excitement, and Yafang was arranged to be opposite to Zhang Yinxiang, and a group of people surrounded a round table.Seeing the mouth-watering delicious food on the table, everyone praised the hostess's ability with one voice.The cousin gave way politely, and the brother-in-law smirked complacently; the three turnip heads behind them were beating a small bowl in each hand, clamoring for vegetables; About to rush out, the cousin had beads of sweat on her nose, and hurried to hug her, the room was a bit chaotic.

"Home, this is home!" Yafang looked at her cousin's back, the thick and stupid waist after giving birth to many children, like a pillar of flesh. "Is this the home that women yearn for? Is this the kind of home that the world pursues and loathes, but keeps persuading people to join?" Yafang was a little confused.

She couldn't help but turn her eyes to the opposite side of the table. The person on the opposite side was eating a piece of chicken with her head down, and her sparse hair could no longer cover the bald spot on the top of her head. "Scientists always get bald earlier." She thought to herself, "I don't know if he ever came back with a Ph.D. in the United States? Maybe because he has already achieved the position of factory director." Why did he discard it so lightly at the beginning? What about this person? ... Also at a banquet, the host introduced her to Zhang Yinxiang, who was a lecturer at the Engineering College, and heard that he was about to go abroad for further studies.The next day Zhang Yinxiang came to visit her at the girls' high school. Based on her experience, she had figured out that Zhang Yinxiang must have a crush on her, but she had no special feelings for him, neither bad nor good.Before leaving the country, he visited again, and admiringly asked for frequent correspondence in the future. Although she agreed, it was only a courtesy of ordinary friendship.She remembered that Zhang Yinxiang asked her to go to dinner with him that day, but she declined. "It's not necessary." At that time, she thought to herself: "There is no need to make a farewell gesture for casual acquaintances."

Sure enough, enthusiastic love letters came after going abroad, one or two, and those emotional sentences did not stir her up, and she still had one thought in her mind: laugh at how boring this person is.Did he think that she would wait for him as a lover, wait for him to finish his master's degree and Ph.D., and come back to marry him?That's impossible.Then she couldn't answer such a letter, so she put it aside; after that, he quickly disappeared from her memory, because they still couldn't talk about friendship...

"Is Miss Han still teaching?"

She stopped and recalled in a daze, she didn't hear the question from the person opposite, and it was because the cousin sitting beside her bumped her twice that she woke up from the memory.

"Ah! Yes, I teach history and geography in girls' high schools."

The person opposite nodded with a smile, and she suddenly wondered if there was no irony in that smile?Laughing that she hasn't left her teaching position for many years, from teaching in the North to the island, and still dealing with a group of yellow-haired girls in middle school?Thinking of the suitor back then, who had achieved results in studies, career, and marriage, how ashamed she was in comparison!Like a healthy person's thermometer, it doesn't rise or fall at all. It's so ordinary. Healthy people sometimes have a little fever!

She peeked at him, he was fatter than many years ago, with a big and slightly bald head in a straight suit, but this baldness didn't look too annoying, it seemed to increase the dignity of his identity, she He needs to be re-evaluated!It seemed that she had touched a touch of tenderness in him, she was even a little jealous of his dead wife, this man should have belonged to her!If she seized this opportunity again today, would it be too late?
Yafang believed that Zhang Yinxiang would never forget her, but in this embarrassing occasion where he pretended to be acquainted for the first time, she couldn't know what his impression of today's reunion was. Does he still remember the "deep love" he had for her many years ago?Would he not forgive her indifference back then?If he really pursued her again in the future, how should she express it?But can he?She is no longer the Yafang she was back then, time may have left many scars on her body.She also knew that although she was still "tall and cold", the smell of "ginger juice" was gone.

During this meal, Yafang didn't know the taste of the meat, and the cousin kept passing dishes, and the dishes were piled up sharply. At last, the cousin seemed to feel that something was wrong, and asked, "What's the matter with my cousin today?" ? Eat so little?"

Yafang held her heart with her hands, and frowned: "I've been feeling sick to my stomach for the past two days."

In fact, her stomach is not uncomfortable, but her heart is really uncomfortable.She wished she could fly back to the dormitory immediately and cry bitterly on the cold and ruthless single bed. She was angry at herself for having so many messy thoughts, conflicts and doubts.

The guests left one after another, and Yafang got up to leave.While turning around to pick up the purse, it seemed that my cousin had made arrangements again and signaled for Zhang Yinxiang to drop by to drop by, so Yafang and Zhang Yinxiang walked out of my cousin's house together.

The dim light of the street lamp pulled the shadows of a pair of passers-by from flat and wide to obliquely long. The two did not speak at first, only to hear two pairs of leather shoes walking on the flat asphalt road, one rattled rattled and the other creaked. Chirping, chirping, more and more rhythmic.Always the man should speak first, Zhang Yinxiang said:
"How many years have we not seen each other, Miss Han!" This is not a question, but a sigh of the passage of time.

"Yes, it has been more than ten years!"

"I can't believe that you are the one who came to Taipei specially to see you." The speaker smiled.

"No, my cousin invited me to dinner, and I didn't know it was you."

"If you know, come or not?"

Yafang laughed, and Zhang Yinxiang also laughed, diluting the awkward atmosphere that existed between the two of them when they met.

Talking about the current work and life, the relationship between the two of them and the cousin and his wife, and the situation of each other after the separation more than ten years ago, Zhang Yinxiang suddenly changed the subject:

"Miss Han, why did you refuse to write to me back then? You have such a bad impression of me, don't you?"

"I don't remember the emotions back then." Yafang lied, but she clearly remembered it clearly.But then she felt inappropriate, and said with a smile: "Maybe there was a feeling..." She didn't know how to rhetorically, and she stopped talking again.

"What kind of feeling?" The other party asked eagerly.

"It's because I just met you and didn't know much about each other. You went abroad. It seems that it is not easy to establish a long-term friendship, so I didn't..."

Zhang Yinxiang tilted his head and listened. "It turned out to be like this," he said.

It's just ahead, it's a place that's easy to recognize, the door lights of the dormitory are always on all night, welcoming latecomers at any time.Only this point can still feel some "home" kindness to single people.

"Here we are." Yafang said.

"Here?" Zhang Yinxiang said.It seems a little too fast.

Yafang stopped in front of the concealed door, ready to say a few words of farewell, but how much she looked forward to new progress in their relationship, don't let it end here.

"Then, goodbye!" He stretched out his hand to hold her, and she felt the big, hot palm holding her harder, "Now will you agree to correspond with me? This time I didn't go abroad !"

Yafang gently retracted her clenched hand, and the person opposite was staring at her, eyes full of pleading and longing, she was melted by this warmth, like being immersed in warm water, light and slightly hot, she lowered her eyes And a slight smile, a sign of a woman's acquiescence!At the same time, a thought crossed her mind, and the cousin said: "Isn't it okay to compare you to a late-blooming rhododendron?" Ah!Why not!
(End of this chapter)