Old things in the south

Chapter 67 Rose (2)
"Which one are you going to work on?" It seemed too early for me to ask, but she answered in response:

"Voice. Teacher."

That's right, that beautiful singing voice has long been known throughout the school. At the club, people didn't believe that a little girl could sing such a mature voice. She said that she often listened to her mother singing, and she didn't sing children's songs. Some popular songs, though considered vulgar, were finally forgiven because of her beautiful singing voice.

Xiuhui has already entered middle school, so she is no longer under my jurisdiction, but a relationship of mutual understanding has not been separated because of the actual separation.She often goes back to her alma mater to look for me. In front of the banana tree in front of this window, I watch her grow up year by year.She is like a yellow warbler, singing all the time, I encourage her, in order to cultivate her beautiful life, I keep sending world famous books into her schoolbag, I listen to her sing, listen to her talk.

Sometimes when I was busy correcting my homework, she would stand outside the window and sing softly, and dance lightly in front of the banana tree.Sometimes she came to me singing, fell on my table, stopped singing, tears stained her face:
"Ms. Lin, one day I will go to accompany the drink and stand aside and sing to the guests?"

"Stupid child, nervous, completely thinking about it!" I cut her off.

She also often wrote letters, naively writing about her middle school teacher's jokes, about my impressions after reading the books I showed her, and about the development of her life.Once she said that her grandmother hired a singing teacher for her. "Teacher! Why did my grandmother pay so much money for me? Do you understand? Well, I won't say it anymore. If I say it, you will think I am crazy. Anyway, I love to sing, so I just keep singing." She wrote in the letter It was written in the middle of the book, I just felt very uncomfortable when I read it, I hope it is really the kindness of my grandmother, but this kind of people in the back alleys!I also can't believe that her grandmother had really noble minds.

"I'm madly in love with my singing, I sing and forget the pain."

"When I feel fear in my heart, I sing and think of my teacher—I want to fly to you and cry to you."

Xiuhui sent me sad words many times, and my encouragement was no match for her sadness.I even asked her if she needed my help.

"You encourage me a lot, which is the greatest help you can give me, and give me more courage to face this evil world!"

my child!Xiuhui is only 15 years old, so it's too early to say all kinds of evil to this world!I read the letter written by her beautiful handwriting, which should not be a 15-year-old junior high school sophomore, and my eyes were blurred with tears.I think she must have encountered something. I remember that a week before I received this letter, Xiuhui came to see me at school. When she ran over from the playground, her mature chest was trembling with shortness of breath. Then, when she ran in front of me, I couldn't help but took her hand and caressed her. "I watch you grow up every day!" I said.

Although she is only 15 years old, she is precocious in the tropics. She looks like an adult, and she is no longer that coquettish little girl.Then her grandmother might... Thinking of this, my heart is very heavy, and I hurriedly wrote her a letter, and I said: "This world is not terrible, as long as you face it bravely and resist it when necessary, until your victory .”

After that, there was no news of Xiuhui for a period of time. This was a common occurrence. I didn’t see her for two or three months. She would be busy with exams, travel, and other things. mine.

One day Xiuhui’s letter came, and every sentence of Xiuhui’s handwriting entered my heart with a trembling voice:
"Teacher: A girl named Rose finally sat in the Qingdao restaurant and drank and sang with the guests. Teacher! Don't look down on this worthless student. For a while, I thought about how to resist, but the environment was not easy, and I temporarily fell into the mud. I won. Over the past two or three years, my grandmother’s enthusiastic training has enabled me to receive a higher education and practice singing, and I can earn a lot of interest by investing a lot of money. This is what she really means. Teacher, I only want you to continue Always encourage me."

Holding the letter in my hand, I thought about the schoolgirl who ran over from the playground a few months ago.I should firmly remember her dress and posture that day. For Xiuhui, my favorite student, it is a memorable outfit.After that, if I see Xiuhui again, no, it should be a rose, it will be a new body.But I know her, the soul in that shell is immutable.So I wrote her my first life-transforming letter, in which I said:

"No matter how much you drink with your guests, your soul is always pure!"

No one knew about my birthday. I was lonely correcting my homework, planning to eat a bowl of noodles at a small shop opened by a native of Hebei alone at noon, to add longevity to myself.At this time, the worker brought a bunch of lotus flowers, a large box of birthday cakes, and a letter from Xiuhui:

"Teacher, I remember you said that the birthday of the lotus is also your birthday. I found this date by accident. I sent my wishes, but I didn't come. The old life will occupy my whole life." mood, and worsened, so I don't want to see my alma mater."

I ate the birthday cake Xiuhui sent me for lunch, opened the photo album, and found a photo of her graduating from elementary school. I stared at it, my heart was full of confusion about the world. Eyes, tears flowed down.

I have never tried to meet Xiuhui. I can't imagine what Xiuhui will look like after changing my life, and I don't want to think about it carefully. When I think of Xiuhui, I always think of the girl with soft short hair in front of me.

We keep in touch with each other through letters, and I often encourage her, and I want to use my spiritual strength to rescue her from the mud.Her letters were sometimes pessimistic, and on one occasion she wrote:

"If I die, you have to write a story about an adopted daughter and tell people not to be someone else's adopted daughter for every lifetime."

I gradually feel that the words under the beautiful handwriting are getting better and better, but the pessimistic elements are also progressing in proportion.I somewhat regret that I gave her too many books to read, making her too clear about right and wrong; I gave her too much encouragement that she couldn't realize, what good is this encouragement for her?Wouldn't it be better to be a slave to material comforts in a daze, wouldn't it reduce the pain?I shouldn't be prodding her all the time without being able to actually help her get her mud feet out.

I gradually alienated the letter because of my awakening, and I no longer actively stimulated the letter.I sometimes write lightly but seriously:

"Don't be too pessimistic. The guests are not all bad. If you meet a good one, you can marry him. A happy family life is not hopeless for you."

We had no correspondence for a while, and I heard news about Xiuhui again from a family uncle who was familiar with the situation of the wine girl.Uncle Clan said:

"That student of yours is really amazing. She is the No. [-] pillar in Qingdao. She really knows how to drink, and it's amazing to play with men. I heard that she has already earned two houses!"

I felt sad on the one hand and relieved on the other.Thinking of how such a pure and beautiful girl would end up as a company in a restaurant and be ravaged by others.But thinking that she can finally adapt to this kind of life, it might not be her blessing.Life will gradually get used to it, and money can also buy the soul, I think so.

In fact, Qingdao Restaurant is a place I often pass by. Every time I watch a movie and wait for the bus to go back to school, I stand opposite "Qingdao".With the melodious music, the faintly audible singing, the chaotic sound of punching fists, and the windows of the buildings, the people waiting for the bus don't seem to be lonely or anxious about the vehicles that drive over in 10 to [-] minutes.Every time I look up at the window of the opposite building, I have a different feeling from other people waiting for the bus: I think of the relationship between a girl who is good at singing and drinking upstairs and me, think of the education I gave her, think of her That sad sentence, thinking of the pure soul under the tears of the song, thinking that we have never met but I was standing so close to her, she could see me when she opened the window...

I haven't received a letter from Xiu Hui for a long time, but my heart has calmed down a lot, and there are no more painful cries to oppress me.As far as education as a whole is concerned, I have failed. Since I failed to save her with the power of education, why should I instill in her so much understanding of human right and wrong?
She is 17 years old this year, and I suddenly had a whimsical idea that I could adopt a little adopted daughter and form a home for adopted daughters of five generations. Send that little girl to my school, I will not educate her like that again Now, please rest assured!
Before Christmas, I received a fancy Christmas card from Xiuhui. It was specially made, and there were no geranium beans or Christmas flowers on it, but a bouquet of roses was accidentally drawn on it.I found that the person who drew the picture was negligent and forgot to draw thorns on the rose branches. I thought to myself: Ah, roses without thorns will be picked off casually!

Just when I thought it was good for Xiuhui to choose the path she surrendered to, and felt ashamed that my education was superfluous, on a stormy evening, I read this unnoticed piece of news, which simply said , a 17-year-old wine girl named Rose committed suicide because of world-weariness, and beside her was a note that seemed to be a suicide note, which read: "No matter how much I drink with my guests, my soul is pure." .”

The rain stopped, but the wind blew the plantains rustling, I closed the window, ran to the bed and lay down, I didn't turn on the light, I just sobbed.

(End of this chapter)