swear not to be concubine

Chapter 89

Jian Yan moved her right hand a little bit, and felt that Xu Zhongxuan was holding her right wrist with great strength, no matter how hard she struggled, she might not be able to break free, so she simply didn't struggle, but raised her head, her eyes straight It fell into Xu Zhongxuan's eyes, and he said very calmly: "What Qin Yan? I don't know him."

"But when you saw him outside just now, you not only called him senior, but you still looked excited and shocked, how can this be explained?" Xu Zhongxuan leaned over and continued to ask in a cold voice.

Jian Yan suddenly realized.It turned out that the boy outside who looked like her senior was called Qin Yan.

It's just that Xu Zhongxuan's high-ranking interrogation attitude annoyed her a bit, so she also put down her face and replied coldly: "It's not that you didn't hear what Young Master Qin said just now, I just It’s just a mistake.”

Xu Zhongxuan actually knew clearly in his heart that Qin Yan was very likely to be the senior that Jian Yan said, but he didn't admit it for some reason.But he didn't want to tell Jian Yan about it.Even if possible, he hoped that Qin Yan would never admit it.

However, he still wanted to know what the relationship between Jian Yan and her senior was.

So he continued to ask: "What is the relationship between you and the senior you mentioned? Why do you lose your composure when you mention him? Tell me."

Jian Yan's attitude and tone of only teaching him this order made her very angry.

With a vigorous shake of her hand, she shook off Xu Zhongxuan's grip on her right wrist, and then her tone became more and more indifferent: "These have nothing to do with you."

It's just that Xu Zhongxuan stretched out his hand very quickly to wrap around her right wrist, and his handsome face covered with frost also moved a little closer: "But I want to know."

"Do you want to know that I will tell you?" Jian Yan sneered, "Do I have to tell you everything that happened in the years before I met you?"

"If you don't bother, I naturally want to know what happened to you in the years before you met me. Just now, tell me, what is the relationship between you and the senior you mentioned?" What's the relationship?" Xu Zhongxuan held her wrist tightly and continued to ask.

Jian Yan only laughed out of anger at his strong and stubborn appearance.

"What's the matter?" She tilted her head and said with a smile, "Student? Brother and sister? Anyway, I like him."

Xu Zhongxuan suddenly felt an uncontrollable anger rising in his heart, which only burned his eyes red, and the hand holding Jian Yan's right wrist also tightened suddenly.

She actually likes her senior?Since when did she start liking her senior?How much do you like it?

These questions rushed out of Xu Zhongxuan's heart.And every question was like the sharpest knife, stabbing his heart fiercely, dripping with blood, only making the muscles of his whole body tense up.

When he got angry, he couldn't control the strength of the hand holding Jian Yan's right wrist.Jian Yan was in pain, but she didn't show it on the surface, but looked at Xu Zhongxuan with a provocative smile.

Xu Zhongxuan's face was livid, his breathing became heavier, and the hand holding Jian Yan's right wrist became tighter and tighter.

Jian Yan only felt that the bones in her right wrist were about to be crushed by him, but she was still stubborn and didn't say a word of begging for mercy, but still smiled provocatively, and talked with Xu Zhongxuan without fear at all. They looked at each other with cold eyes.

After a while, Xu Zhongxuan let go of her wrist, and lowered his head and hands weakly.

"What about me?" he asked in a low voice, "Do you like me?"

Different from Cai Cai's forceful pressing just now, his words are full of loneliness and loss.

Jian Yan's heart twitched fiercely, but her face was still indifferent, and she said indifferently: "I don't like it."

"Then why are you embroidering this lotus-leaf koi picture now?" Xu Zhongxuan suddenly raised his head, looking at her expectantly, "This lotus-leaf koi picture was drawn by myself, if you don't like me, why would you go to such pains?" Do you put so much effort into embroidering it? Jian Yan, tell me, you actually like me in your heart, don't you?"

When he asked the last sentence, his voice trembled uncontrollably.He even looked at her carefully, hoping to see any subtle expression changes on her face, so as to prove whether she liked him or not.

Jian Yan was flustered only by his scorching gaze, she hurriedly turned her head away, and at the same time replied in a cold voice: "No."

But immediately, a cool hand stroked her cheek and turned her face away.

"Look into my eyes and tell me if you really don't like me."

Jian Yan secretly took a deep breath, tried her best to suppress the panic and intolerance in her heart, then raised her eyes, met Xu Zhongxuan's flustered eyes, and continued to say coldly: "Xu Zhongxuan, I don't like you .Now can you let go?"

The hand that was caressing her cheek froze, but immediately pressed it tighter against her face.

"Jian Yan," Xu Zhongxuan leaned forward, and put his other hand on her other cheek, holding her face tightly with both hands, so that she could only look at him.Although his eyes became more and more flustered, he still tried his best to pull the corners of his lips, showed a smile, and said in a low voice, "Don't fight with me anymore. I promise you, I will marry you as my wife, and I will only marry you for the rest of my life." I love you alone, I will never take concubines, and I will never look at other women, is that okay?"

At the end, he was almost begging, and even lowered his head, wanting to kiss her lips.

Jian Yan didn't dodge or dodge, she still sat there with her back straight and motionless.

It's just that the corners of her lips were pulled slightly, with a mocking smile on her face, she looked at Xu Zhongxuan and said with a smile: "Xu Zhongxuan, should I kneel down and thank you now?"

Xu Zhongxuan stayed where he was, looking at her with puzzled eyes.

Jian Yan continued to laugh.It's just that this smile seems to have a sad meaning in it.

"In your heart, do you think that you have already compromised with me so much that you don't even care about my status as a business woman and that you are going to marry me as my regular wife? Can you think about you wholeheartedly and cling to you? If I make trouble again, I don’t know what is good or bad? It’s just Xu Zhongxuan, although you like me, how have you ever respected me in your heart? You disregarded my wishes and made me What did my aunt go to say to my mother? Treat me like a forbidden animal and keep me here every day. Even though you kept this matter a secret, other people in Xu’s house didn’t know about it, but my aunt What about the maids and mothers in the yard who know about it? What do they think of me? Yangzhou skinny horse? I will give you my concubine when my father’s filial piety expires when I grow up in the future? And you just went all the way without notification Straight into my boudoir unimpeded, have you ever thought that I will not agree? Have you ever thought about the difference between men and women? Have you considered my reputation? Have you considered that if this matter is spread, from now on How should I behave in this Xu residence? Or do you think that as long as you come, I will never dare to stop you. And even though I am unhappy on the surface, I am still happy in my heart? Why? Because you think I I like you, so I have many compromises and patience with you? Or do you never consider my reputation at all, and think that even if everyone knows about it, it doesn't matter, because you will marry me. And From now on, husbands and wives are noble, and with your high status in Xu’s house, even if others have a lot of disdain for me, they dare not show it on the face, and still can only treat me respectfully for your face ?”

Her long questioning only made Xu Zhongxuan question for a long time without knowing what to say.

What do you say?To say that the things Jian Yan asked are actually true, is that what he really thinks in his heart?

He thinks that he is a big tree with luxuriant branches and leaves, and Jian Yan doesn't need to do anything at all, just cling to him like a vine?Husband honors wife, he will dote on her in the future, even if others look down on her because of his high position and authority, they still have to respect her on the face?

After a long while, Xu Zhongxuan justified in a low voice: "I just want to pamper you well, and want you to stand behind me to protect you from the wind and rain. As for other people's eyes, why do you care? I have a lifetime Isn't pampering you enough?"

"But Xu Zhongxuan," Jian Yan smiled wryly, "I am a person first, then a woman, and finally your wife. I hope people respect me because I am Jian Yan, not because I am your wife , you have to respect me on the surface because of your high position and authority, but you despise me extremely in your heart. I am equal to you, and there is no such thing as me wanting to be attached to you, do you understand? "

It's just that Xu Zhongxuan didn't understand.As far as he knew, didn't all women want the most in their lives to be favored by their husbands, thinking that their husbands are honorable and their wives are precious?Why doesn't Jian Yan think so?Didn't even care.

He faintly felt that Jian Yan's thoughts were a little scary.

She is just too independent.Independently, it seems that she can live in this world without depending on anyone, not even him.

If all women think like Jian Yan, there will definitely be an uproar.And this dynasty will not allow women with such terrible thoughts to exist.

"Who instilled such ideas in your mind?" Xu Zhongxuan suddenly reached out and pinched her chin, staring straight at her, "Tell me."

Jian Yan met his gaze without fear, and even smiled in the mood.

"Why, do you think that I have such thoughts that are terrible and not easy to control? Or do you think I am a strange, ghost-like existence? At the next moment, are you going to set up a fire and burn to death? I?"

Xu Zhongxuan's eyes rolled as quickly as the dark clouds in the sky where a strong wind passed by, and countless thoughts flashed through his mind.But in the end, he just let go of the hand holding her chin, sighed, and said in a low and clear voice: "Jian Yan, you just rely on me to love you. That's why you are like this in front of me Unscrupulous."

When Jian Yan heard this, she suddenly felt that there was wind and sand in her eyes, and she wanted to cry sourly.

Yes, she relied on him to love her, that's why she dared to be so unscrupulous in front of him, pushing him and herself all the time.

She looked down at the lotus leaf koi picture on the embroidered frame without saying a word, and Xu Zhongxuan also looked down at the lotus leaf koi picture on the embroidered frame without saying a word.

This picture of lotus leaf koi is already half finished.The two koi are brightly colored and sway in the water.

It is said that moving from other gardens is more expensive than gold, but after all, if the soil where they grow is different, how can they grow together?
"Xu Zhongxuan," after a moment of silence, Jian Yan spoke bitterly, and said in a low voice, "I am born with such thoughts, and they have been deeply engraved in my bones. I am afraid that even if I die Now, I won’t change my thoughts easily. I know it’s hard for you to accept such thoughts. Now you say you love me, even if we’re together, in the short term you’ll be my friend, this kind of contradiction is naturally It will not be highlighted. But for a lifetime like this, when we have been together for a long time and the passion and passion recede, these contradictions will gradually become apparent and will gradually become sharper. And it’s not just these, there will definitely be more Other contradictions that you are not aware of now will also appear one by one. You have to think about it, will you still love me as much as you do now? Will you continue to tolerate me? If you I feel tired of getting along with me day and night, and if I want to take a concubine again, I will reconcile with you without even thinking about it. How will your colleagues think of you? How will the world think of you? Do you have all of these? Have you ever thought about it? And I am the daughter of a merchant, or the daughter of a merchant whose father died. The widowed mother only thinks that I can help her son enter an official career. If you marry me, she will naturally do everything Asking you to help her son seek an official position, and getting greedy step by step. Can you do such a thing of public interest? What will happen if your colleagues know about it? Will you write a letter to impeach you and affect your official career? You see, when you marry me, instead of being able to give you any help, I will drag you down everywhere. Have you thought about all of this?"

Xu Zhongxuan pursed his lips lightly and did not answer.

Jian Yan was not in a hurry, but still looked down at the lotus leaf koi picture on the embroidered frame.

It's just that as Xu Zhongxuan's silence became longer and longer, her heart also dropped inch by inch.

It is not clear what Jade Emperor Temple said that time, but now, she told Xu Zhongxuanming all the pros and cons.Whether to choose or not, he will naturally make a decision this time.

After all, he is such a sensible person, even though he is occasionally impulsive because of her affairs these days, but now she is so clear in advance to point out all the problems that may be encountered in the future, Analyze them one by one, let him see the bloody ones, he should still retreat, right?
But Jian Yan still had a little extravagant hope in her heart.She thought, if Xu Zhongxuan still decides to marry her after seeing all of this, no matter what will happen in the future, even if the last two people are together for a few years, they will still be married due to various reasons. The reason is that they parted ways, but at this moment she still agreed to be with him.And be with him wholeheartedly.

But it's a pity that she only heard Xu Zhongxuan's low sigh, and said in a low voice: "Jian Yan, why do you want to be so rational? Why can't you be a little confused?"

The tears in Jian Yan's eyes began to fall uncontrollably.It's just that she didn't look up, so Xu Zhongxuan didn't see it.

Or maybe he actually knew that she was crying, but he didn't want to care about it anymore, and he never felt sorry for her anymore.

He heard the rustling sound of cloth rubbing in his ears, it was Xu Zhongxuan who got up and stood up.

Jian Yan could hear his clear voice as before slowly ringing above her head: "Don't talk about life and death in the future. Besides, it's good to keep such unique and novel thoughts in your heart, don't say anything to the second Don’t mention it, otherwise I’m afraid I will be treated as a different kind.”

Jian Yan bit her lip tightly, not letting herself cry out.

The footsteps gradually faded away, and finally they could no longer be heard.She raised her head quickly, but only the embroidered soft curtain hanging on the green gauze cabinet in front of her was still swaying slightly, and the slender and tall figure had long since disappeared.

She couldn't bear it any longer, threw herself on the embroidered blanket in front of her, and cried loudly.

(End of this chapter)