Pride and Prejudice; Sense and Sensibility

Chapter 89 Eleanor's Thoughts
Although Eleanor did not believe Lucy's words, after some serious consideration, she could no longer doubt the truth of the matter, because there was nothing to induce Lucy to make up such a lie.Therefore, Eleanor can't and dare not doubt anything that Lucy said, not to mention that from all aspects, there are so many possible and real evidences, which are enough to prove that Edward and Lu Xi's engagement was a real event, but Eleanor didn't want to admit it because of her own subjective wishes.Their mutual acquaintance and intercourse at Mr. Pratt's house was an essential prerequisite for the rest of the situation, no doubt, though it surprised her.In addition, there is a litany of evidence, such as: Edward's visit near Plymouth, his melancholy and dissatisfied with his future, his inconsistencies with Eleanor herself, Sister Steele's feelings about Norland Park and their relatives Knowing so well--which often surprised her, and the portrait, and the letter, and the ring, all that would have been enough to assuage all her fears of wronging him, would just prove that he had wronged her. The fact that cannot be changed.Her bitter indignation at this behavior, her indignation at being deceived, left her for a short time only with self-pity.But after a while, other thoughts popped up again: Could it be that Edward has been deliberately deceiving her?Was his concern for her hypocritical?Could it be that his engagement to Lucy was based on true feelings?No, she doesn't think so now, whatever the circumstances before.She was the only one Edward liked, and she was sure of that.At Nolan Manor, her mother, sister, and Fanny knew he liked her.This is not an illusion caused by her vanity.Of course he loved her.This belief was a great comfort to her heart!With this belief, how could she not forgive him!When he was at Nolan Manor, he had already noticed that she, Eleanor, had more power over him than normal, but it was his fault that he lingered there anyway.On this point he is indefensible.However, if he hurt her, he hurt himself even more!If her case was pitiful, his was irredeemable.His hasty action caused her momentary pain, while his own chance of happiness seemed forever lost.Her mood may eventually return to peace, but it will take time.And him, what hope could he have?Would he have the least happiness in living with Lucy Steele?Apart from his love for her, Eleanor herself, could his honest, refined, and learned mind be content with a wife as ignorant, cunning, and selfish as she was?

Edward was only nineteen years old at the time, and Lucy's beauty and meekness could have blinded him to nothing but the blindness of youthful love.But the next four years--a time of great insight, if he passed them normally--would have opened his eyes to the imperfections of her upbringing.At the same time, Lucy, through her association with people of lower taste, had perhaps long since lost all that old innocence which had once spiced up her beauty.

If he wanted to marry himself, he still had to encounter all kinds of obstacles set by his mother, so wouldn't it be even more difficult for him to choose a woman whose family status was lower than hers and whose wealth might not be as much as hers to be his wife?Of course, due to the psychological distance between him and Lucy, these difficulties may not be so overwhelming for him.But how melancholy must be the man who takes the disapproval and indifference of his family as a relief!
Eleanor had been brooding painfully, and could not help weeping for him (not for herself).It assured her that she had done nothing to make herself worthy of her present misfortune; and she was relieved that Edward had done nothing unworthy of her respect.She felt that she could restrain herself as best she could, that she could bear it even now, when her head was splitting from the blow.She did this to prevent her mother and sisters from doubting the truth.That's what she expected, and she did so outright.After only two hours of suffering over the shattering of her best hopes, she was able to join them for dinner without a trace.From the appearance of the two sisters, no one thought that Eleanor was crying secretly, because all kinds of obstacles were about to separate her from her beloved forever; while Marianne was secretly yearning for a perfect lover, she She fancied that his heart was completely captivated by her, and she looked forward to seeing him every time she heard the carriage approaching their house.

Elinor's obliging resentment of not revealing to her mother and Marianne what Lucy had told her privately did not aggravate her distress, though it compelled her to do so.On the contrary, it was a consolation to her, lest she speak out and make them tormented, and save them from hearing their reproaches against Edward.Such accusations, probable because of the great partiality of all, would be intolerable to her.

She knew that neither their advice nor their arguments could help her.Their affection and grief only increased her suffering, and her self-denial was neither encouraged nor praised by example.She was stronger alone, and her own reason gave her great strength to be as firm as possible inwardly, and always in good spirits outwardly.

Although her first conversation with Lucy on this subject had been painful, she longed after a while to have it again, and for more than one reason.She wanted to hear her restate some of the details of their engagement, to know more clearly what Lucy's feelings for Edward were, and whether she loved him as much as she said; Calmly, so as to convince Lucy that she cared only as a friend, for she was terribly afraid that her involuntary agitation in their morning conversation would arouse suspicion.It seemed likely that Lucy would be jealous of her.Evidently Edward had been admiring her, not only from what Lucy said, but also from the fact that Lucy, having known her so shortly, had the audacity to confide to her so great a matter. A secret.Even Sir John's joking remarks probably played a part.Since Eleanor is convinced that Edward really loves her, she certainly doesn't need to consider other possibilities, and naturally thinks that Lucy is jealous of her.Lucy was indeed jealous of her, as evidenced by her private conversation.For what other reason could Lucy disclose this to her than to inform Eleanor that she had priority over Edward and that Eleanor should have no further dealings with him?It was not difficult for her to understand her rival's intentions in this way, although she was determined to try to act on the principles of her own honor and integrity, fighting her love for Edward, and avoiding seeing him as much as possible.At the same time, she had to consolingly show Lucy that she was not sad about it.She believed she could listen with equanimity to Lucy's restatement of the particulars, for she could not hear anything more distressing on the subject than what had already been heard.

Although Lucy, like her, wanted to find a chance to talk again, but such an opportunity did not come immediately.Originally, going out for a walk together is the easiest way to get rid of everyone, but God is not always beautiful, so we can't let everyone go for a walk together.Though they had at least one meeting every other evening, either at the Manor or at the Cottage (mainly at the Manor), it was not for the purpose of meeting together and neither Sir John nor Lady Middleton ever I never thought about getting together to talk, so there was never much time left for everyone to chat together, let alone talk individually.Their gatherings are always in the form of eating and drinking, talking and laughing, playing cards, and playing a game of Consequence. Participants write down the answers to some questions on paper in turn, and make up a variety of situations after the encounter between two imaginary characters. funny short stories. , or play some other noisy games.

Once or twice such a meeting was held, but Elinor never got an opportunity of private conversation with Lucy.Sir John came to the cottage one morning and, in the name of charity, invited them all to dine with Lady Middleton, as he was going to Exeter to attend the club, and if they did not dine, Lady Middleton would have nothing but Her mother was with the Miss Steeles, and she would be very lonely.Elinor thought that attending such a dinner might be a good opportunity of fulfilling her wish, for there was more liberty in Lady Middleton's quiet and well-mannered presidency than in her husband's rowdy gathering together, So she immediately accepted the invitation.Marguerite, with her mother's permission, also agreed to go; and Marianne, though she never wanted to attend any of their parties, her mother, who could not bear to let her miss any entertainment and be alone, insisted on persuading her to go along with her. go together.

The three ladies came to the appointment, and Mrs. Middleton, who was almost plunged into terrible loneliness, was finally rescued by luck.As Elinor had expected, the party was uninteresting.There was not a single novel idea or a new line of content throughout the evening, and the entire conversation, from the dining room to the living room, was so dull that it could not be added.The children accompanied them into the drawing-room, and Elinor knew that as long as they were there she would never have the opportunity of talking to Lucy.The children did not leave the room until the tea things were removed.Turning to setting up the card table, Eleanor began to wonder, how could she expect to find a chance to talk here?At this time, everyone got up one after another, preparing to play a reincarnation card game.

"I'm glad," said Lady Middleton to Lucy. "You don't want to weave poor little Anna Maria a little basket to-night, and I think it's very good, because it hurts the eyes to weave by candlelight. To-morrow." Let's make it up for the sweet little thing, and I hope she won't be too upset."

This hint is enough.Lucy immediately stopped her heart, and replied: "Actually, you are completely wrong, Mrs. Middleton, I am waiting, just want to see if I can make up the game if you play cards, otherwise I would have already I just started knitting. I can't let this little angel disappoint. If you ask me to play cards now, after dinner, I will definitely finish the basket."

"You're very kind. I hope you don't spoil your eyes. Will you ring the bell for some more candles for use? I know if that little basket can't be woven to-morrow, my poor little girl will It's going to be a big disappointment, because although I told her I couldn't finish it tomorrow, she must think the basket was well done."

Lucy immediately drew the sewing table to her side, and sat down again, full of enthusiasm, as if nothing would please her more than knitting baskets for a spoiled child.

Mrs. Middleton suggested a game of casino.There was no objection from anyone but Marianne, who, in her usual informality, cried out, "If you do me madam, don't count me out—you know I hate cards. I want to play The piano. I haven't touched the piano since it was tuned." She turned and walked towards the piano without any more polite words.

Mrs. Middleton's expression seemed to be thanking heaven: she had never said such an impertinent thing.

"You see, ma'am, Marianne is bound up with that piano," said Eleanor, trying to smooth over her sister's faux pas, "and no wonder, for I have never heard such a sound piano."

The remaining five will draw cards.

"Perhaps," went on Elinor, "if I don't need to play cards, I can help Miss Lucy Steele with rolling papers. I don't think it's too early to finish the baskets, and if she is allowed to I can't do it alone tonight. I'd love it if she'd let me in."

"I should be very grateful if you could help me," cried Lucy, "for I find that I was wrong in my calculations, and it will take a lot of work. If you disappoint dear Anna Maria, it will be a shame." How shouldn't it be."

"Oh! that's too inappropriate," said Miss Steele. "Dear little chap, how I love her!"

"It's very kind of you," said Lady Middleton to Eleanor, "since you really like the job, won't you enter the table until the next hand, or try your luck now?"

The former suggestion was beneficial to her, so Eleanor happily adopted it. In this way, with a few clever and ingenious words, she not only achieved her goal, but also pleased Mrs. Middleton—but this, It was something Marianne had always dismissed.Lucy readily made room for her, and just like that, the two beautiful rivals sat side by side at the same table, rushing to do the same job, in perfect harmony.At this time, Marianne was so absorbed in music and thoughts that she completely forgot that there was no one else in the room but herself.As it happened, the piano was very close to them, and under the cover of its sound, Miss Dashwood judged, she could speak with confidence on that subject which interested her, without being heard at the card-table.

(End of this chapter)