Pride and Prejudice; Sense and Sensibility

Chapter 96 "Faith" is a lot of things (2)
"You say I'm happy, Marianne! Oh, where are you talking! You think I'm happy when I see you so miserable!"

"Forgive me, please forgive me," she said, throwing her arms around her sister's neck, "I know you are sorry for me, and I know you have a good heart. Still, you--you must be happy. Edward Love you--don't you! What could counteract such happiness."

"Many, many things," Eleanor said solemnly.

"No, no, no," cried Marianne wildly, "he loves you, and you alone. You can't have any pain."

"It's impossible for me to be happy seeing you being tortured like this."

"You'll never see me in another way. My pain will never be relieved."

"You can't say that, Marianne. Have you nothing to comfort you? Have you no friends? Have you no chance of comfort in your troubles? Though you are suffering now, think about it." See, if you didn't find out what he was at a later time, how much you would suffer if you were engaged for many months and then called off the engagement? The more you have the misfortune to be near him, the more you will feel this. What a terrible blow."

"Engaged!" cried Marianne. "We're not engaged."

"No engagement!"

"No, he's not as bad as you think. He hasn't broken his promise to me."

"But he told you he loved you?"

"No—no—never—absolutely not. He means it every day, but never says it. Sometimes I think he says it—but he never does."

"But he wrote to you?"

"Yes—is it wrong to write letters because of all that has happened? But I can't go on."

Eleanor said nothing more.Now the three letters interested her more than before, and she read them all at once.The first, written to Willoughby when her sister first came to town, reads as follows:
You will be amazed to receive this letter, Willoughby!I think you might be more than surprised to know I'm in town.The opportunity to come here (albeit with Mrs. Jennings) had an irresistible allure on us.I hope you will receive this letter in time to come here tonight, but I don't think you will be able to.Anyway, I will wait for you tomorrow.Goodbye for now.

Ma Da
Beckley Street, January

The second letter, written the morning after the Middletons' ball, read as follows:

I can't express how disappointed I was not seeing you the day before yesterday.Also, I am also surprised that there has been no response to the letter I wrote to you before.I look forward to hearing from you all the time, and looking forward to seeing you even more.Please come back as soon as possible and explain why my expectations have failed.You'd better come earlier next time, because we usually go out before one o'clock.There was a dance at Lady Middleton's last night, and we all went to it.I hear you are also invited.But is it possible?If that's the case, and you didn't go, it must be because you've been a different person since we parted.But I don't think that's possible, and would like to hear from you right away that this is not the case.

Ma Da
The contents of Marianne's last letter read as follows:
Willoughby, I cannot imagine what you have done!I ask again for your explanation.I was going to meet you cheerfully and affectionately, because it would be very pleasant to meet again after a long absence, and based on our close relationship in Barton, there seems to be a sense of intimacy when we meet again.Don't want me to be left out!This is nothing short of insulting, and I agonized over the night trying to find a reason for your behaviour.Although I have not yet found a reasonable justification for you, I would still be happy to hear your complaint that someone may have framed or deliberately slandered me, thus lowering my standing in your mind.Tell me how it happened, explain why you did it, and I'll be content to reassure you.If I had to think badly of you, I would be very miserable indeed.But if I really need to do this, if I really know that you are not what we have imagined so far, that your concern for us all is a sham, and that you have only acted to me to deceive me, then Tell the truth as soon as possible.Now, my heart is full of ups and downs, and it is difficult to settle down.I wish to declare you innocent, but in either case, simply telling the truth would ease my present pain.If your feelings are not what they were, return my letters and the lock of my hair which you have saved.

Ma Da
Elinor could hardly believe that Willoughby should have responded in such a way to letters written so passionately and confidingly.But her condemnation of Willoughby does not make her ignore Marianne's indecency, for the letters should never have been written.She mused silently, and it pained her that Marianne should have so rashly confided her heart, and given no excuses, only to be mercilessly mocked by facts.Then Marianne, seeing that she had read the letters, told her that they were really nothing, as anyone would have written in the same circumstances.

"I thought I was seriously engaged to him," she added, "as bound by extremely strict legal terms."

"I believe that," said Eleanor, "but unfortunately he doesn't."

"Eleanor, that's what he thought for weeks before. I know he did. Regardless of why he's the way he is (someone must have played the worst trick on me, otherwise He won't become like this), he loved me before, as I wished. Let's talk about that lock of hair. If you saw his look and manner at that time, you would understand it if you heard his voice at that time! Do you remember the last night we were together in Barton? And the morning we parted! He said to me, We still It will be many weeks before we meet again—how can I forget his sad look?"

She couldn't go on any more, so she stopped for a while.As soon as the excitement had passed, she added in a more determined tone:
"Eleanor, I have been cruelly abused, but not Willoughby."

"My dear Marianne, who is he? Who can he be persuaded by?"

"Instigated by all the people in the world, not by his own wishes. I don't want to believe that he did it out of natural cruelty, but I would rather believe that everyone I know conspired to discredit my image in his mind The woman he wrote about—whoever she was—in short, would have been mercilessly bad-mouthed by anyone but you dear, mother, and Edward. Who in the world, except the three of you Except for Willoughby, it makes me suspect that his mind is not right, because I know Willoughby's heart very well."

Elinor did not want to argue, but replied: "Whoever is so hateful as your enemy, my dear sister, show them a high air, and make their gloating come to naught! You will let They look at you as innocent and magnanimous. It’s a legitimate and commendable pride that stands up to the onslaught of evil.”

"No, no," cried Marianne, "a sufferer like me has no pride. I don't care who knows I'm in pain. Anyone in the world can gloat at me like this. Ellie No, Eleanor, it is not for me that a man who has not suffered can be proud, can be free, can do what he wants, and can not be insulted, even retaliated. I must feel pain It's—so let people be happy when they find out."

"But, for Mother's sake and mine—"

"I'd like to be more considerate of you. But to force myself to smile at such a misfortune—oh, who would ask?"

The two fell silent again.Eleanor thoughtfully walked from the stove to the window, and then from the window to the stove, neither feeling the warmth of the fire nor seeing anything outside the window.Marianne, sitting on the corner of the bed, with her head leaning on the rail, reached for Willoughby's letter again, and tremblingly reread every sentence, then exclaimed:
"It's outrageous! Willoughby, Willoughby, is this your letter! Could it be you? How cruel, how cruel, you are unforgivable. Eleanor, he There's no getting away with saying anything. No matter what bad things he hears about me--shouldn't he have put a question mark first? Shouldn't he have told me and given me a chance to cleanse myself? 'You kindly give' (read letter) 'that lock of my hair'—that is unforgivable. Where is your conscience, Willoughby, when you write this? Humph! How insolent! How can you excuse him, Eleanor?"

"No, Marianne, absolutely not."

"And this woman—God knows what tricks she has contrived, how long she has planned, how insidiously planned! Who is she? Who could she be? Whom did I hear him speak of among the women he knew? Young and charming? Oh, no one, no one—he's talking to me about myself!"

There was another silence.Marianne, overwhelmed with excitement, said at last:
"Eleanor, I'm going home. I'm going to comfort Mother. Can't we go tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, Marianne!"

"Yes, why should I stay here? I've come for Willoughby's sake—who cares about me now? Who cares about me now? Who likes me?"

"Going away to-morrow is out of the question, and the least courtesy will not allow it. Mrs. Jennings has treated us so well, and we must be polite to her. You can't just go away."

"Well, maybe a day or two. But I can't stay here long, I can't stay here to be questioned and gossiped. The Middletons, the Palmers—how could I Endure their pity? Lady Middleton's pity! Oh! what will she say!"

Elinor persuaded her to lie down again, and she did for a while.But no matter how I lay down, I didn't feel comfortable. I just felt restless and restless, and my body was in constant pain, and I couldn't help tossing and turning.Then it just got more and more hysterical.Seeing that she couldn't stay on the bed anymore, my sister was so worried that she almost called for someone to come.However, in the end, I finally talked and persuaded her to take a few drops of lavender potion to see the effect.From that time until Mrs. Jennings' return she lay quietly and motionless in bed.

(End of this chapter)