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Chapter 59: The Living Corpse (2)
"Lukelia, I'm telling you," at last I began to speak, "listen to me and I'll give you a piece of advice. I'm going to order them to take you to the hospital, to a good hospital in town Are you going? Maybe your illness can be cured, but it’s hard to say. No matter what, you will never be alone..."

Lucrelia's eyebrows moved slightly.

"Oh, don't, sir," he whispered worriedly, "don't take me to the hospital, don't touch me. I'll only suffer more when I'm in the hospital. I can't be cured! . . . Once a doctor Come here, he wants to examine me. I beg him: 'For Christ's sake, don't disturb me.' He won't listen! Turn me over and over, knead and bend my hands and feet; He said: 'I'm doing this for science, I'm a man for science, I'm a scholar!' He said, 'You have no right to fight me, I'm working for you fools.' He turned me over and over Excuse me for a while, give me a disease name - a very strange name - and go away. But for the next week, I have pain in every bone in my body. You say I am only one person, always one People. No, not always. People come to me often. I'm quiet and don't trouble them. Sometimes a few peasant girls come to me for a chat; I talk about Jerusalem, about Kiev, about the holy city. I'm not afraid to live alone. It's better that way. Really!... Sir, please don't touch me, don't send me to the hospital... Thank you , you are really kind, but please don't touch me, my lord."

"Then don't force it, do whatever you want, Lucrelia. But I really mean it..."

"My lord, I know that you are doing it for my own good. But, my dear lord, who can help another? Who can understand another's heart? A man helps himself by himself! It may be difficult for you to imagine that I am sometimes alone Lying like this...it seemed to me that there was no one in the whole world except me. I was the only one alive! I seemed to have a sudden thought in my heart...I began to think, what a strange thing!"

"What were you thinking at the time, Lucrelia?" "My lord, I can't explain it, and I can't explain it clearly. Besides, I forgot it later. When this kind of thought comes, it spreads like a cloud. Come on, it’s refreshing, it’s beautiful, what the hell is it? I don’t know! I just thought: If I’m next to someone, this thought won’t happen, I won’t feel anything but my misfortune.”

Lucrelia sighed heavily.Her breasts were as recalcitrant to her as the rest of her body.

"My lord, I see you," she began again, "you are very sorry for me. But don't pity me too much, really! Let me tell you, now, for example, I sometimes... Forget, I used to be such a cheerful person, such a lively girl! . . . You know what? I sing now too."

"Singing? . . . you?" "Yes, singing, old songs, roulettes, raspberry songs, hymns, all kinds of songs! Didn't I sing a lot? Can I still remember?" .Just don’t sing dance music. I don’t deserve to sing dance music in my situation.”

"How do you sing? . . . do you sing silently?" "Sing silently, and also out loud. I can't sing aloud, but I can understand when I sing. I told you that there is a girl who often comes to me." , is a clever orphan. I taught her to sing, and she has learned four songs from me. You can hardly imagine it? Wait a minute, I will sing it to you right away..."

Lucrelia took a breath... the dying man was about to sing—the thought aroused an involuntary terror in me.But before I opened my mouth, a long, very small, but clear and correct sound trembled in my ears... and then a second sound, and a third sound.Lucrelia sang the song "On the Pasture."When she sang, the expression on her face was stiff, and even her eyes were staring.But her poor, struggling little voice, turbulent like a puff of smoke, sang so movingly; she tried to pour out all her heart... I no longer had fear, but a feeling of saying no Out of pity filled my heart.

"Oh, I can't go any further!" she said suddenly. "I can't catch my breath. . . . I see you very excited."

She closed her eyes.I caressed her cold little fingers... She looked at me, her dark eyelids, rimmed with gold lashes like those on ancient statues, closed again.After a while it glistened wet with tears in the dim light.

I'm still sitting there. "How could I do this!" Lucrelia suddenly exclaimed, eyes wide open, trying to squeeze the tears down. "Isn't it embarrassing? What's the matter with me? I haven't been like this for a long time... not since Vasily Polekov came to see me last spring. While he was here, I was nothing; But after he left, I burst into tears all by myself! I don't know where all these tears come from! ... But our women's tears are worthless. Sir," Lucrelia went on, "perhaps you have a handkerchief ...please wipe away my tears."

I wiped her tears and gave her the handkerchief.She refused to accept it at first... and said: "I don't need such a gift?" It was an ordinary white handkerchief.Then she gripped it tightly with her thin fingers.I have adapted to the darkness of the room, and I can see her face clearly, and even see the slight blush on her cyan face, and I can see (at least I think so) the beautiful beauty of the past in this face. Traces are gone.

"My lord, you asked me just now," continued Lucrelia, "if I often sleep. I always sleep very little, but every time I fall asleep I have dreams, very good dreams! In my dreams I am healthy." , young... But as soon as I woke up and tried to turn around, it was only a dream. I had a very wonderful dream once! Shall I tell you? Well, listen to me. I Dreaming that I seemed to be standing in a field surrounded by rye, all ripe and golden barley! I seemed to be carrying a fiery red dog, which was so fierce that it kept trying to bite me. In my hand I also have a sickle, not an ordinary sickle, but a strange one, like the moon when the sickle is used. I have to use it to finish off these rye. But I am tired and hot, and the moon shines in my eyes, so I can Want to sleep. There are many cornflowers growing around me, big cornflowers! Their heads are facing me. I want to pick some cornflowers. I will make myself a flower crown before Vasili's appointment here. Well, there was still time to reap the wheat. I began to pick cornflowers, but they disappeared from my hands, and nothing could be done. I couldn't make a crown for myself. At this time I heard someone approaching. Very close, call me: 'Lukelia! Lucrelia!...' 'Oh,' I thought, 'It's over, it's too late!' Well, I'll use the moon instead of cornflowers. I'll Putting the moon on, my whole body immediately emitted light, illuminating the nearby fields. Then I saw a person walking towards me quickly on the top of the ears of wheat, but it was not Vasili, but Christ himself I don't know why I know him. People don't paint Christ like that, but I know it's him! A tall young man, all in white, with a golden sash. He held out his hand to me Come, say: 'Fear not, my fair maiden, come with me; you will dance and sing the songs of heaven in my heaven.' So I took his hand firmly! My dog ​​went at once Come to my feet...but we are soaring now! He is ahead...his wings spread across the sky like those of a sea-gull—I follow him! The dog cannot follow me. Then Only then did I realize that this dog is my disease and it cannot go to heaven."

Lucrelia was silent for a while. "There's another dream," she began again, "but it's probably my hallucination—I really can't make it out. It seems to me that I'm lying in this little room, and my parents, who are already in peace, come to me. They bowed deeply to me, but said nothing. I asked them, "Father, mother, why do you bow to me?" They said, "Because you have suffered a lot in this world, so you Not only freed your own soul, but also lightened our burden. We are much more relaxed in that world. You have cleansed yourself of your sins and are now atoning for us." As soon as I bowed, they disappeared, and I saw only the walls. Then I wondered what the hell was going on. I actually told the priest about it in my confession. But he didn't think it was Hallucinations, because hallucinations are usually only for monks."

"I had another dream," continued Lucrelia, "'I dreamed that I seemed to be sitting under a willow tree on the road, with a planed cane in my hand, and a bag on my shoulder, Put a veil on your head, like a female devotee! I am going on a pilgrimage far, far away. Devotees pass me by incessantly; they walk slowly, as if unhappy, and everyone Walking in the same direction, they all had sad faces, and almost all looked the same. I saw a woman walking back and forth among them, she was a head taller than the others, and she was wearing different clothes, as if it was not our country She also has a very special appearance, with a gloomy face. Everyone seems to avoid her. She suddenly turned around, walked up to me, and stood still to look at me. She has eagle-like eyes, big and yellow, and Very bright. I say who are you?' She said to me: 'I am your death.' I should have been afraid, but instead I was so happy that I crossed myself! She - my death - Said to me: 'My poor Lucrelia, I cannot take you. Good-bye!' My God! How hopeless I was then!...'Take me away,' said I, 'dear good mother , take me!' She turned her face to me and said something to me... I knew she was telling me the date of my death, but I couldn't understand it... said 'after St. Peter's day'... and then I woke up. I often have such strange dreams!"

Lucrelia raised her eyes... and there was silence... "Just one thing that bothers me: Sometimes for a whole week I can't sleep at all. Last year a lady came by and saw me and gave me a A small bottle of medicine for insomnia, she told me to take 10 drops each time. This medicine is very useful for me, and I can fall asleep after taking it; but the small bottle of medicine has already been used up... Do you know what it is and how can it be Can you buy it?"

What the passing lady gave Lucrelia must have been opium.I promised to get her another bottle, but I couldn't help expressing my surprise again at her patience.

"Ah, sir!" she replied, "why do you say that? My patience is nothing! Here, Saint Simeon endured thirty years on a capital! There is another saint who He buried himself in the ground up to his chest, and the ants bit his face... Also, a person who has read many scriptures told me: Once upon a time, there was a king who was captured by the Arabs, and they tortured and killed all the people; The inhabitants tried all kinds of means, but could not be liberated. Then a holy virgin appeared among them; with a great sword, she put on two poods of armor, and went to meet the Arabs, and drove them all to the other side of the sea. She drove them away, and said to them: 'Now you burn me, for this is my wish: I will die at the stake for my people.' So The Arabs caught her and burned her. But since then the people have been liberated forever! That's the real feat! And I'm nothing!"

At this time, I was secretly surprised: the legend of Joan of Arc was passed down here in this form.After a while of silence, I asked Lucrelia how old she was.

"28... seems to be 29...not 30. But what's the use of age! I'll tell you..."

Lucrelia suddenly coughed and sighed in a low voice... "You talk too much," I told her, "and it's bad for you."

"Of course," she said in a weak voice, "our conversation should be over. It's all right! I can stay silent after you leave. At least I've said what's on my mind..."

So I bid her farewell, repeated my promise to deliver medicine to her, and told her to think again and tell me what else she needed.

"I don't need anything else; everything is enough, thank God," she said with effort and affection. "God bless everyone! By the way, sir, please persuade your old lady: the peasants here are very poor, please ask her to reduce the farmer's rent a little bit! They don't have much land. And there's no other way out... If it's relieved, they'll pray God bless you... I don't need anything, everything is met."

I swear to Lucrelia that her wish will come true.When I was already at the door... she called me back again.

"Do you remember, sir," she said, with an expression of wonder in her eyes and lips, "what was my braid like? Do you remember? Down to my knees! I always Can't make up my mind... Such long hair!... But it can't be combed, in my situation!... So I cut it off... Well... So, goodbye, sir! I can't talk anymore It's..."

That day, before going hunting, I mentioned Lucrelia to the captain in charge of the farm.He told me that the people in the village called her a "living corpse," but she never displeased them, and no one ever heard her complain or complain. "She has no desires of her own, on the contrary, she is grateful for everything. She is really a very gentle person. Maybe God punished her for her sins," concluded Chief A, "but we don't care about it." .As for blaming her, no, we're not going to do that. Let her be!"

A few weeks later, I heard that Lucrelia had died.Death finally took her...exactly "after St. Peter's Day".It is said that the day of her death she heard the bells, even though it was about five versts from Alexeyevka to the chapel, and it was not a Sunday.But Lucrelia said that the bells were not coming from the side of the chapel, but "from above".Perhaps she dared not say "from heaven".

(End of this chapter)