Mr. President, I will not make an appointment

Chapter 299
So, I started to give up on myself.

I feel that I will never go back to the original world, and I will never see my relatives, lovers, friends...even enemies.

I will die in depression on this small island where birds do not lay eggs.

Although the injury on my body healed, the injury in my heart was worse, and there was no cure at all.

Several times, I wanted to put all my eggs in one basket and simply try to steal a boat, or I would die.

However, when I think about what Mia told me, I feel that death is not terrible, what is terrible is the way of death.

I am a modern person, and with the education and knowledge I have received, it is impossible for me to allow myself to die without dignity like that.

Moreover, I am really not reconciled!

I think, during the days when I was missing, Qin Yuxiu must have gone crazy. He must have called the police a long time ago and used all possible forces to search and rescue. Will he regret it? Why did he not stop me at the beginning? Not thinking how nice it would be if he insisted on keeping me out of the boat.

In fact, I also regret it, regretting that I was too careless, I should not have gone to see Mrs. Zhou, let alone Fang Jiayao.

Although I don't know why I ended up in such a state, this matter must have something to do with the two of them!
Unfortunately, there is no regret medicine in this world.

I always thought that I was strong enough, independent enough, brave enough, and sunny enough, but at this moment, all the self-confidence I had built over the years collapsed.

I had never been so desperate when I fell into the sea, I was never so desperate when I was cornered by a Japanese ship, and I was never so desperate when I first came to this small island.

But now, I'm really, really desperate.

I thought that as long as I survived, there would be hope, but now I just feel that there is still no hope for living.

I feel that there is nothing to love about life, but I don't have the courage to die.

I even think that those who dare to commit suicide are actually warriors.

I was depressed for many days, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep well, but I didn't care at all, anyway, I couldn't leave this closed and backward ghost place.

I was getting depressed day by day, and I was unwilling to talk. Mia was still warm and friendly to me, but I was in no mood to talk to her anymore.

I no longer teach her anything, because the more I teach her, the more strongly I feel the gap between modern society and this primitive society, and my mood becomes more depressed and even irritable.

I was still counting the days and remembering each day clearly. I even naively imagined whether I could still keep up with the progress of the crew.

But gradually, I have forgotten what Xixi is, anyway, it doesn’t matter, every day is a repetitive life, eating, sleeping, and being in a daze.

Because the days are too monotonous, every day feels very slow, like a year.

Sometimes I even think desperately, let's go faster, so that I can grow old quickly, and die of old age here.

I obviously feel as if I have depression, but I can't control my emotions, and I don't want to control them. Every day is full of negative energy.

Day after day, month after month, for about half a year, I have been in this state of confusion.

Just when I thought I would be so depressed forever, one day, a big event suddenly happened on the island.

(End of this chapter)