falling angel

Chapter 28

After leaving Che and came to Taiwan, there was a period of dormancy.Like some kind of insect that lives in a cave, I don't want to see the light, and I don't want to see people.Zhang Shaoyang would visit me every day and bring me news from the outside world.One day he asked me: "The new album is ready to be released, can I give you a stage name?" I didn't say a word.Names mean nothing to me.Whoever gave me my surname will erase it mercilessly.

Zhang Shaoyang half-kneeled on the ground in front of me, and lifted my thin chin with his fingers. I was forced to make eye contact with him: those were not beautiful eyes, at least I could look at them calmly.Those not-beautiful eyes shone with wisdom that seemed to see through me, as well as a flash of heartache.

"You have to learn to be happy and live well." I looked at him blankly and numbly. Do I deserve happiness?What is happiness?Why live?
Like a pile of building blocks, under Zhang Shaoyang's manipulation, it restored its previous fragmented and lazy appearance.I still huddled in a corner of the room, opened the curtains, and looked at the distance in the sky.Zhang Shaoyang sighed heavily.I know he has tried his best.Trying my best to me, who can almost be said to be a passer-by, but I can't afford to repay him.I barely had any signs of life other than breathing and panting every day.

Repeatedly dreaming at night, in the dream is the black and white forest that has not appeared for a long time, several times running to suffocation in the white feathers falling from the sky, and being awakened by Zhang Shaoyang from different places several times, sometimes on the edge of the balcony, some Sometimes in the bathtub, and worse, on the street.When he led her back, she was obediently like a cat.He began to fear that I would get lost at night, so he bought a house and "lived together" with me under the same roof.When I fell asleep, he would open the door of his bedroom, hang a string of wind chimes outside my bedroom door, and follow me all the way when I was sleepwalking.Every time he woke up, he hugged me in his arms without saying a word, patted my back gently with his hand, and comforted me in a low voice like a brother or a father: "It's okay, it will be fine, dawn That's fine."

Unknowingly, I began to rely on him. Although I seldom talked, I became used to being picked up by him every time from the place where I sleepwalked into the room.When my first record was a hit, my mental state began to improve. I started to have some simple conversations with him, and I started to let him take me for a walk during the day.He never mentioned any news about the bite to me, and has been carefully avoiding my questions, but I know that some things are like deep wounds, the more I don't touch them, the more painful they are eroding in the deepest part.

When I started planning the second album, I got the cover of the first album. On it was Zhang Shaoyang's name for me: Qiu Yi.On the cover is a decadent woman with long hair fluttering, pulling a corner of the curtain indifferently, looking at a place in the distant sky meaninglessly. The name of the record is "Fairy Tale of Runaway".I don't know why, but when I saw this name, I almost cried.

When spring came, the company started promoting my second record.It was my first time showing my face in public.Facing the spotlight, I went blind for a moment, and my face, which had long been accustomed to being in the dark, was suddenly stimulated by the naked light, which made me feel inexplicably sad.When Zhang Shaoyang introduced me with the words he has long been accustomed to, I felt a kind of panic like an outsider, and silently listened to his sincere and calm sales words: "Fantasy as her, elegant as her, gorgeous as her, calm Like her. She is the singer of "A Runaway Fairy Tale": Qiu Yi." Then he stretched out his hand to me, and I held it gently, feeling his encouraging hand.There was a moment of dead silence in the venue, so I didn't say a word, but sang "The Mermaid Without Feet".The curtain ended with applause, and when I returned to the background, I was like a marionette with a broken string, hiding in my corner, watching the cigarettes burning quietly and lazily.

(End of this chapter)