Out of Depression: A Depressed Patient's Successful Self-Help

Chapter 11 Depressed Life (6)
Gradually, my life is no longer lonely, and I don’t always stay at home after get off work. I often go shopping, eat, and play cards with friends.Although I can't talk about how happy I have become because of this, I don't know how many times better than the closed and gloomy self in the past.Interacting with friends not only brought me happiness, but also made me feel the real life slowly.I used to always feel that others are much better than myself, but after really getting in touch with friends, I realized that real life and real life will always have a lot of troubles and helplessness, and there will always be depression and unsatisfactory places.Only then did I truly understand the profound connotation of the saying "Life is a journey full of hardships and confusion".Yes, even if there is no depression, life is life, not heaven; even if there is no depression, you will always be yourself, not a superman, nor omnipotent.In the past, I always attributed everything to depression; I always regarded myself as a failure, but when I really got close to others and walked into life, I realized that everything was different from what I imagined.

My sister who I met at work broke up with my boyfriend who I have been in love with for three years.I always thought that they were a natural pair and would never be separated, but the reality is so cruel.Although on the surface she kept telling me that it didn't matter to me, only she must know how deeply this incident hurt her, and she could only lick the wound alone.Although she is not very beautiful, she is very kind to people, has a gentle personality, and knows how to take care of others. Everyone likes her very much.After so much, she is still cheerful and sincere to her friends.From her, I learned that even if you don’t have depression, you will be abandoned and hurt by others. You can’t control others, you can only let yourself face this cold reality. This has nothing to do with depression, it’s reality.So why expect a perfect life?And why expect life to be filled with sunshine when the depression is gone?Life is life, sometimes the sky will be clear, sometimes there will be dark clouds, everything has nothing to do with depression, even if there is no depression, what should be experienced and encountered should always be experienced and faced.When I regard life as life, rather than a fantasy paradise, I can truly accept some things that happen in life, some unsatisfactory, some setbacks.It doesn't mean I'm unlovable or a failure, it's real life.

Wang Haifeng is handsome and has a good family background.But half a year after we got together, her girlfriend was with a good friend of his.So I stayed with him for nearly a month before he calmed down a bit.Such a good person can also be betrayed by others, and is a good friend and lover.In the past, this seemed unbelievable to me, because I thought that this kind of bad luck could only happen to poor people like me. How could it happen to such an excellent person like him?God should favor excellent and outstanding people.Later, I finally understood: what should happen will always happen, even successful and outstanding people will be hurt by others, there will be times of failure, and there will be shortcomings.That being the case, why should I have trouble with myself because of my shortcomings and failures?Why should I take shortcomings and failures as reasons to deny myself?After all, successful and outstanding people also have disappointments and failures, so why should I deny myself?Why can't you be kind to yourself?Gradually, I stopped seeing others as "tall" and myself as "small". After all, no one is perfect, and the most important thing for a person is not to do everything well, but to be himself What can be done well is done well, and being able to do that is enough.

The cousin of my aunt's family has a very cheerful personality and many people like him. He belongs to the kind of person who can become friends with others in a short period of time.I used to feel inferior when I was with him, because I was not as eloquent, popular without him, and capable without him.But later he told me that in fact, what I saw was only on the surface. Although it seems that he has many friends, there are not many real good friends, and many of them are superficial friends.And he is sometimes hurt and deceived by others, but his motto is: Even if you treat others well and treat others as friends, there will always be times when you are hurt and deceived, but even so, you cannot stop making friends because of this. Friends, after all, when you treat others with sincerity and sincerity, even if you get hurt, at least you have a "clear conscience".From my cousin, I learned that everything should not be seen on the surface. A cheerful personality is an advantage in making friends, but not all of them. Even if you are cheerful, you may not be able to become true friends with everyone.So friends do not lie in quantity, but in quality. There is no need to feel inferior because you don’t have enough friends. As long as you "treat each other with sincerity and get along with each other with sincerity", it is enough. If you can do this, you are already worthy of yourself and your heart .

At the beginning, I only fought against negative thinking through ideological debates, but there was still a force in my heart that criticized and denied myself.It's like two forces are at war inside of me, one voice tells me: You're a loser, a wretch, no one will like you, and the other voice tells me: No, you don't have what you think As bad as it is, it's depression that makes you feel like this, and you need to start working where you can, there's no need to be hard on yourself.At the beginning, the voice of self-affirmation and assistance was very weak, but this "voice" at least made me doubt whether self-denial was correct and true, and I had the courage to face the fear in my heart.When courage turned into action, and when action allowed me to see the truth, the balance of inner strength changed substantially.When I find that others are not as perfect as I thought, real life is not as beautiful as I thought, when I see that I can achieve success through my own efforts, and I am not a complete loser, I will not Then belittle yourself because of your failures and shortcomings.Because I know that I am not a superman, and I am destined to not be able to do everything well, and neither can others.I don't need to gather all the advantages of all people to knock myself down. I also understand that the beauty in fantasy is just fantasy, and reality is doomed to be cruel, which is true for everyone.When I can give up the illusion of an idealized self, and when I find that the real life is not a paradise, then I really know how to get along with myself, how to love the real self, instead of imagining the perfect self.

Chapter End: Metamorphosis

Suffering will make people persevere, suffering will make people mature, suffering will make people find their true self, and suffering will make people start their own life!

One year after I came back from Beijing, my whole person has undergone great changes. Although I have not completely come out of depression, I have friends; although I am sometimes depressed and want to escape, I dare to come out of my hiding place , you can start to breathe "fresh air", you can look at yourself from a new perspective, instead of blindly struggling with yourself.In fact, the process of treating depression is a process of treating and caring for yourself.

Since I dare to associate with friends, since I dare to pursue my love, what about my studies and career?What about my future and development?This issue has gradually become one of my concerns. After all, I cannot work in a factory all my life. How should I spend my life in the future?How do you find your footing?

Unexperienced experience always has infinite temptation.University, for me who has never been to university, is like a dream place, where I can study, make friends, fall in love, broaden my horizons, and pave the way for finding a job in the future... But can I really do it? ?Can I really hold on?can i really do itAfter all, it has been more than three years since I left high school. When I enter university, all my classmates in the past are about to graduate from university. Is it suitable for me to go back to high school and enter university at my age?Will you be laughed at by others when you go back to high school?Can I get up from where I failed?Too many worries hovering in my mind, should I challenge or give up, persist or compromise?
In the end, I decided to go back to high school for the following reasons: first, I could stand up from where I failed and fulfill my unfulfilled wish in the past; second, in the process of self-healing, I fell in love with I was originally a person who was not very expressive, but I could always talk about psychology with my mother; thirdly, although my mood has stabilized a lot, I don’t know if the depression will come back, There are still worries and insecurities in my heart.So there is also a selfish purpose in studying psychology: If depression strikes again, I don't fear it.Just like a cowardly person practicing martial arts on weekdays, there is no shortage of self-defense.

Although such a decision has been made, there are still many difficulties in reality.Does the family agree?What about work?Where does the tuition fee for going to school come from?
I told my mother and grandmother about my thoughts, and my mother agreed with me, but my grandmother disagreed, and she hoped that I could continue to work in this job.At this time, my unit had an indefinite long vacation. Because of the bad business, I had to stop working.Maybe it was God’s arrangement, but in the end, my grandmother had to agree, and told me a condition: take out the money left for me to go to school in the future, but I have to rely on myself for the future marriage, and my family can’t help I'm busy.I happily agreed to my grandma, because in my opinion, living in the way I expected is much more important than getting married.After that, I successfully returned to the high school where I dropped out.

Looking back today, it has been 10 years since I wanted to go to university and study psychology.Looking back on the past 10 years, although there are endless ups and downs, I am glad that I did not give up my dream.During these 10 years, I also completed the transformation from a patient to a psychological counselor.I still remember the dream back then, the person and those hands in the dream, and now I am using my hands to try my best to help those people whose hearts are suffering.It took me 10 years to do all of this. I think I wouldn't have persisted in doing one thing for 10 years without depression, and I wouldn't give up as long as I was alive.

When I was in depression, I would never think that depression is any good, but when I really waded through the river of depression, I realized that depression is just like other hardships in life. will make you stronger.Now I am no longer sad that depression has changed my life, but I am glad that depression has flowed through my life...

(End of this chapter)