my name, your last name

Chapter 3 The Too Late Gaze

Shang Xiuwen answered a phone call while having dinner at home the night before. He only listened for a while, then suddenly his face darkened, and he went to the balcony to talk for a long time before returning, saying that he had to go to J City, which is located at the border of this province and neighboring provinces, immediately.Gan Lu asked for a few days, he frowned and thought about it, and said that two or three days would be enough.

She let him continue eating, and immediately went upstairs to the bedroom to pack his simple luggage.When she came down with a travel bag, she heard Shang Xiuwen say, "Uncle may not be able to cope with this matter developing like this."

"Call me as soon as you know the situation."

Seeing her coming down, the mother and son stopped together.This strange silence made her stop on the stairs for a while, and for a moment, she had a strange feeling that there were some things in this family that she could not get involved in.

However, Shang Xiuwen came over, took the travel bag with one hand, and said with a smile: "Lulu, I'm leaving first, and I'll call you when I get there."

His expression and voice were the same as usual, not at all as serious as before.Around eleven o'clock, he called Gan Lu's cell phone and told her that she had arrived in J City, the journey was smooth, and told her to go to bed early.

When Gan Lu answered the phone, she was already lying on the bed, but she couldn't fall asleep for a while. The sudden feeling of standing on the stairs still bothered her.

The company jointly opened by Shang Xiuwen and his friend Feng Yi'an is engaged in steel trading, and its business is mainly to supply steel bars and other building materials for the construction market. There is a private steel company named Xusheng located in J City at the junction of this province and neighboring provinces. The legal representative is Shang Xiuwen's uncle, Wu Lijun's elder brother Wu Changzhi, and Shang Xiuwen acted as an agent for the sales of their products in the province. City J belongs to a neighboring province in terms of administrative division, and it is nearly four hours' drive away from this city. He often goes there on business trips.

This is all Gan Lu knows.

Qian Jiaxi's left eye is 500 degrees and his right eye is 350 degrees. His vision is indeed not good.However, except for the days when her eyes were inflamed, she always wore contact lenses, and her eyes were piercing, looking intently, and she would not miss any details when scheduling the show.Of course, Gan Lu would not coax herself into saying that what her good friend saw was not Shang Xiuwen, not to mention that the name He Jingyi had only appeared in her home not long ago.

Qian Jiaxi was busy preparing for the show, so she didn't have time to talk to her. She just told her the broadcast time and channel of the show at night, and then said: "When I came in just now, I saw them on the side of the corridor outside the J City Gymnasium. Standing up and speaking, there is nothing excessive, but how should I say it? According to my intuition, their relationship should be unusual. Don't be suspicious, but don't be careless. I will go to work first, and I will talk about it later if I have anything to do. "

Gan Lu thought for a while, then dialed Shang Xiuwen, and he answered quickly.

"Xiuwen, did things go well? When will you be back?"

"It's okay, I'll be back tomorrow morning."

"What are you doing now?"

"I'm talking to a friend about something, I'll call you tonight, bye."

Gan Lu put away her mobile phone, leaned against the railing of the roof, and saw the teacher who was entangled with the principal about job transfers leave.She tried her best to adjust her emotions, and after a while, she entered the office, listened to his requirements for the competition, and kept listening carefully, but realized that she hadn't listened to much.

After returning home in the evening, Gan Lu and her mother-in-law Wu Lijun sat for dinner, still as dull as usual.Of course, she had no intention of asking her iceberg-shaped mother-in-law about something. The two of them acted according to their own habits, and she was glad that she didn't have to deliberately find a topic to perfunctory when she had something on her mind.

After Wu Lijun went for a walk in the park, Gan Lu came down with the lesson plan, sat on the sofa in the living room, turned on the TV, and tuned to the provincial satellite TV. The program hadn't started yet.She doesn't like to watch TV very much. There is another small LCD TV in Wu Lijun's bedroom. Usually, this TV in the living room is just for Shang Xiuwen to watch sports broadcasts. Now she is doing her own work, so she is more or less overwhelmed by the liveliness on the screen. Divided mind.

The party started on time at the time Qian Jiaxi said. Two hosts, a man and a woman, appeared on stage. Although she hadn't watched TV for a long time, the hostess Gan Lu knew her well. The beauty who has always been in the limelight was also the number one host of the school TV station.I haven't seen her for a few years, but she is still as beautiful as before.It's just that she used her emotional voice, gorgeous rhetoric, and parallel sentences to praise J City for its beautiful scenery, outstanding people, and its rapid development since the reform and opening up, which made Gan Lu a little funny.

Before getting married, Shang Xiuwen took Gan Lu to J City, which is the hometown of Wu Lijun. Xusheng Iron and Steel Company, founded by her brother Wu Changzhi, is not a small company. , is a well-known figure over there.

In Gan Lu's view, City J is a very ordinary industrial city. It was established as a county during the Northern Song Dynasty. The territory is rich in minerals, ranging from gold to iron ore. The smelting industry is developed. There are no celebrities and poets, and there are no rumors to attach .In the past, there were mountains and rivers, but in modern times, due to the excessive mining of minerals and the development of heavy industry, the problem of ecological environment pollution is very prominent.

The phone rang, and Shang Xiuwen called back, a little surprised: "Lulu, are you watching TV? Is it because I'm not at home too lonely?"

"Naturally." Gan Lu smiled, "What about you, are you done?"

"It's over for now. I just drank some wine with my third brother. Alas, this guy still drinks a lot." The third brother he was talking about was his cousin, Wu Changzhi's son Wu Wei.Wu Changzhi has two daughters and one son. Wu Wei is the third eldest, two years older than Shang Xiuwen. He works as the executive vice president of his father's Xusheng Iron and Steel Company. He drives a posh Porsche 911 sports car, which is quite attractive in the local area. Attention.

"I think every time you say you're going to stop drinking, you're drinking more and more for good reason."

Shang Xiuwen also smiled: "Yes, people can't help themselves in the rivers and lakes. I don't know when I will be free."

Gan Lu knew that what Shang Xiuwen said was not a simple shirk of responsibility. Her father had a long history of alcoholism, and she instinctively resented another alcoholic around her.But Shang Xiuwen is really not greedy for drinking. At most, she has only seen him slightly drunk, even if he is socializing, he never overdos it. He is the kind of person who refuses to lose control of himself under any circumstances.

"Then rest early later."

"It suddenly occurred to me that tomorrow is our wedding anniversary, how do we want to celebrate?"

"It's your mobile phone that reminded you, right?" Gan Lu was initially touched by Shang Xiuwen's meticulousness in remembering her birthday and wedding anniversary, but when she realized that everything was just a setting on her mobile phone, she couldn't help but be a little bit dumbfounded .

"It's over, I have no interest in your eyes."

"I don't pay much attention to the thing of fun, and I think that people with a lot of fun will probably not be satisfied with only showing it to their wives."

Shang Xiuwen laughed out loud: "Is this reminding me to take care of myself?" He was about to continue, but suddenly stopped, and clearly heard the voice of the hostess on the TV from the receiver: "Now there are [-] Ms. He Jingyi, general manager of Xin Group, came up to meet with audience friends."

Gan Lu clearly felt the silence on the phone. At this moment, the door opened, and Wu Lijun stood at the door. She didn't change her shoes immediately, but stared at the TV screen in astonishment through the glass in the entrance.This dramatic effect was not specially arranged by Gan Lu, let alone what she wanted to see.Something was wrong, she thought.

A tall and slender young woman in an off-white suit walked up briskly and stood beside Li Sibi. A close-up shot hit her face. It was an unforgettable face, and her jet-black hair was tied into a bun. , revealing a smooth and full forehead, a pair of round and bright eyes like a cat's eyes, slightly high cheekbones, an upturned nose tip and wide and thin lips together, making her face not in line with traditional aesthetics, but bright and beautiful Standing next to Li Sibi, who was wearing a breast-wrapped evening gown and had the face of a standard beauty, her aura was not inferior to her at all.

Li Sibi asked about the large-scale investment projects that Yixin Group will launch in the local area. He Jingyi spoke standard Mandarin and answered fluently. She praised the good investment environment of J City and the leadership's forward-thinking, broad-minded thinking, and policy support. The prospect of development is full of confidence.

"What are you doing watching this boring show?" Wu Lijun asked in a serious voice.

"It's just to pass the time." Gan Lu replied lightly.

Wu Lijun didn't say anything, changed her slippers and went straight back to the bedroom.Shang Xiuwen's tired voice came out of the receiver: "Lulu, do you want to ask me anything?"

Gan Lu thought, this is typical Shang Xiuwen's way of dealing with problems: "Do you think there is anything I should know but don't?"

"You never asked about the past like other girls. I thought you were always open-minded and didn't mind."

"I really don't mind the past, provided that it is indeed the past."

"He Jingyi is my ex-girlfriend. When I met you, I broke up with her for three years. Let's talk about other things when I come back tomorrow. You should rest early."

He Jingyi floated down on the screen, and with the strong rhythm of the music, a lively singing and dancing group appeared on the stage. The camera panned all over the audience, and the audience was full of inexplicable excitement waving light sticks and cheering.

Gan Lu looked at the screen, feeling confused. "Other things", will it be a confession, or an excuse?She hated guessing like this, but she couldn't talk herself out of it.

The noisy singing and dancing certainly didn't help her regain her peace. She picked up the remote control and turned it off, and the room suddenly returned to the usual silence.Looking at the empty living room in front of her, she once again felt trapped in a stranger's house.Of course, she didn't participate in the decoration of this house at all, and the furnishings were not her taste. It was indeed difficult for her to feel that this place was her own home.

She packed her things and went upstairs and was about to take a shower when her cell phone rang again, this time it was her father's number.

"Dad, what's the matter?"

Gamble stammered, "Lulu, your Aunt Wang...hasn't come back yet."

Gan Lu couldn't get back to her senses: "Where did she go?"

"It should be back to her own home."

Gan Lu suddenly felt dizzy: "How long has she been gone?"

"She left the day before yesterday, and she said she never wanted to come back."

Gan Lu herself is full of worries, and she still has to take care of this, so she is really worried. She really wants to say that you are Gui Geng this year, and you even quarreled and ran away from home.But she didn't dare to hurt her father's heart with these words, so she could only ask patiently: "Why are you arguing again this time?"

"She told me that it's okay if you don't get married, but I have to add her name to this house, otherwise I don't want to hang out with me without a name or a share."

"Father, to be honest, I don't think Aunt Wang's request is too much. It's an honor for a man of your age to be forced into marriage."

"How about that? This house is the only inheritance I can leave to you in the future. I can't give it to her."

"Dad—you are not yet 60 years old, what inheritance are you talking about. Let's be reasonable, what is Aunt Wang following you to plan? You are not rich, and I think all she asks is for two people to be companions and live a good life , marriage is at least the guarantee you can give her."

"Marriage can't guarantee anything. It's not that you don't know it. I have every reason to think so. Women are so selfish and only consider issues from their own perspective. When they need it, marriage is the guarantee that men must give; once they don't need it Now, marriage will immediately become an obstacle that can be kicked away."

Gan Lu thought with a headache, her father criticized women's selfishness to be plausible, but he didn't care about exposing his own selfishness: "Dad, think about it from the standpoint of Aunt Wang. She takes care of your daily life so wholeheartedly, don't you think so?" Can you feel at ease after giving that little home?"

"Her retirement salary is fully subsidized to her son. What's wrong with following me, at least I don't have to go back to see my wife's face."

"Father—" Gan Lu called out in a long voice, almost wanting to laugh, "Maybe your complexion is not better than her daughter-in-law's, at least in her own home, the daughter-in-law has to show her face, and she has her son to protect her." She, let's stop talking about that, do you still want to live with Aunt Wang? "

Gamble hesitated for a moment: "She's not here, the house is a mess, I've had several meals out."

"Forget it, I'm afraid of you. I'll go to Aunt Wang to persuade her, but I think if you don't agree to her conditions, I'm afraid I'll have to hire you a part-time worker."

"I don't want to work part-time."

Gan Lu sighed, "Then you really have to consider getting married."

Gan Lu took her purse and went downstairs. First, she knocked lightly on the door of her mother-in-law's bedroom. She opened the door and was about to speak. , in that case, there is no need to say goodbye to me."

Gan Lu was a little stunned and a little funny, but fortunately she was used to her father's strange logic, so she could completely ignore her mother-in-law's sharp reasoning, and said calmly, "Mom, my father has something to do, I have to go there tonight." I came back late, I brought the key, you go to bed early, goodbye."

Aunt Wang's home is in an old dormitory area, not too far from her father's residence.The one who opened the door was Aunt Wang's daughter-in-law, who smiled very affectionately when she saw her, and asked her to come in and sit down.

This is a small two-bedroom house. Aunt Wang's son is very dull. He just watches TV and doesn't greet guests. The ten-year-old grandson runs in and out, which is very lively.Gan Lu and Aunt Wang could only enter the small bedroom and sit on the bed to talk.

"Lulu, you've always been sensible. I told your father that I want to add my name to the real estate certificate. I was just angry with him. I didn't want to plot your family's property."

"Auntie, I know, I apologize to you on behalf of my father." This is not the first time Gan Lu has done this job, and she feels a little ashamed, but she has to continue, "Don't worry about him, go back .”

"Lulu, I'm really sad. You said he has a bad temper, he's like an old man all day long, he doesn't do any housework, I can bear it, but I just can't stand him treating me like a guy who just eats and doesn't get a salary I just went to school to pick up my grandson, and when dinner was a little late, he would pick up his nose and eyes; as soon as I talked about getting married, he said that I wanted to covet his house."

Gan Lu fully understands her father's behavior and doesn't think that Aunt Wang has wronged him at all.She could only smile and said: "Auntie, there is indeed something wrong with my father, but he still thinks of you. No, you didn't go back for two days, so he was thinking about it. He was afraid that you would be unhappy when you came back, so he hurriedly called I'll come over and have a look."

"Well, you don't have to hide anything about my family, Lulu. My son is useless and incompetent. I have been a widow for ten years. If I don't want to be quiet, why bother to find a partner at this age. But you Dad makes me feel so chilled, I have been with him for more than seven years, and I have never heard him say a good word. I thought about it, even if I come back to see my daughter-in-law's face, it is better than being wronged by him. "

"Don't say that, my dad is so stubborn. He had an unhappy marriage before, so he gave up the idea of ​​getting married. In fact, he is very kind. I also persuaded him, and he promised to think about it." Gan Lu stopped After a while, I still said, "I know that my father doesn't give you a lot of money. I always want to subsidize him, but he refuses to accept it. I think so. From this month, I will open a bank card for you. money to you."

Aunt Wang waved her hands again and again: "Lulu, I don't mean to ask you for money."

"This is what I should honor my father. He is too stubborn and always refuses to take it. You don't need to tell him about it. You just arrange the lives of the two of you and live a healthy and happy life. It's better than anything else." gone."

Aunt Wang reluctantly agreed to go back when her mouth was dry.Gan Lu also knew that Aunt Wang would not have turned around so quickly if her daughter-in-law who came in every now and then was not so difficult to get along with.Thinking of this, she couldn't help feeling shocked.After sending Aunt Wang to her father, she called her father out again. She really explained the truth and added a threat: "If you want to make Aunt Wang go away in anger again, I don't care about your business."

Gamble didn't insist anymore: "It's getting late, you have to go to work tomorrow, go back and rest early."

Under the dim light, Gan Lu saw her father's back was slightly bent, his hair was gray, his eyes were cloudy, his complexion seemed a little sallow, her heart softened suddenly, and she felt that her straight-faced posture just now was a bit too much.

After her parents divorced, Gan Lu lived with her father all the time. Gambo lived a careless life, and she took on the burden of taking care of her father early on.Since Aunt Wang took over, she has indeed relaxed a lot.After getting married, the focus of her life inevitably shifted, and she went home less often than before, and she seemed to have indeed neglected her father.After receiving the call today, she immediately felt annoyed. She was afraid that her father and Auntie Wang would break up and no one would take care of her. She might also be selfish.

Together with the thought of self-blame, she was speechless for a while.Gambo looked at her worriedly: "Lulu, are you not feeling well? Do you want to call Xiuwen to pick you up?"

Gan Lu forced a smile: "He is on a business trip. Dad, how is your health recently? Do you have any stomach problems?"

"I'm fine," Gamble smiled wryly. "You don't have to worry about me. I've been like this all my life. I just hope you're happy and satisfied."

"Dad—" Gan Lu was most afraid that her father would speak in this tone, "I'm fine too, don't say that again, call me immediately if you have anything to do, don't delay telling me for a few days."

It was already late at night when Gan Lu came out of her father's house. She felt exhausted, so she walked out of the alley slowly with her bag in hand and stood by the side of the road waiting for a taxi.This is a T-shaped road, a bit secluded, with only cars passing by in front of my eyes, and no empty taxis passing by for a while.Perhaps it would be better to walk a hundred meters and turn onto the avenue, but she couldn't get up to take a step for a while, and just stared blankly at the street in front of her.

This is the place where she was born and raised. In her memory, there used to be a tree-lined avenue lined with tall sycamore trees. From spring onwards, a light yellow color first dyed the treetops, and then gradually the dense shade of the trees can The street is completely covered; in summer, the sun casts mottled light and shadows, the sound of cicadas rises and falls overhead, and bicycles ring with crisp bells, passing one after another.

However, in order to solve the problem of flying catkins, the sycamore trees in front of me have been sawn off the crown at some point. The thick trunk is matched with new sparse branches. Even if the leaves have not yet started to turn yellow and fall, it also reveals a sense of humor and desolation. .More importantly, the buildings that were originally hidden under the big trees were all exposed without any cover.

Although this section of the road is in the bustling urban area, a large area of ​​old residential buildings behind it has been demolished and rebuilt, and a new type of residential area has been built.However, the row of houses facing the street and a small area behind belonged to a bankrupt enterprise, which seemed to involve complicated ownership of property rights. It was an old house in the 70s, but three or four floors, with an old appearance, and all kinds of facades underneath. Without the cover of the dense tree shade, under the pale street lamp light, it became more and more disorganized and disorganized, which was completely different from Gan Lu's memory.

A black Audi A6 stopped in front of her, the driver's door opened, and a tall figure stepped out. Although the man's face was in the dark against the light, she could still recognize him at a glance with that straight posture. Out, he is Nie Qian.

"Why are you here?" They asked again in unison, just like the encounter a few days ago.After stopping for a while, Nie Qian frowned and looked at her, "It's so late, why are you standing by the side of the road in a daze?"

"I'm waiting for a taxi."

"Get in the car, I'll see you off."

Gan Lu got in the car, told him her home address, and asked him again: "Why are you here?"

Nie Qian put on his seat belt and started the car: "Did you forget that I used to live in this area?"

"Could it be that you are driving here late at night to nostalgia?" Gan Lu laughed, because in her impression, Nie Qian is the person who doesn't like nostalgia the least, and has long hated this place.

Nie Qian shook his head: "Nostalgia is a process destined to be constantly disappointed. I really don't have that elegance. But it's ironic. After I came back to work, I lived in an apartment provided by the company, which is near here. Now I go to get off work almost every day. Passing by this street. You shouldn't be standing here alone so late, the law and order here is not good now."

"I feel safe here."

"You always feel that familiar people or places must have a sense of security. This is a typical illusion."

Gan Lu was dumbfounded by the indifference and criticism in his tone, she didn't say anything, and focused on looking out of the car window.

After a while, Nie Qian spoke again: "Okay, I lied just now. In fact, I did drive out to get nostalgic. Two years ago today, around this time, I was in Shenzhen, and I was about to fall asleep When I was there, I got a call."

Gan Lu was startled, and suddenly felt embarrassed.Nie Qian continued without any emotion in his voice: "A random phone call. After I recognized who was calling, my heart beat faster. I was about to ask her if she missed me and if she would like to talk to her again. I was together, but she said she made a mistake."

Gan Lu thought, the phone call at a weak moment in the middle of the night is not a great sin.However, she was aware of Nie Qian's character, and knew that he was not as calm as he appeared on the surface. The calmer his voice, the more likely his emotions would be turbulent. At this time, she could not provoke him, so she wisely kept silent.

"I called again, but she turned off the phone. The next day, I couldn't let go. I asked for leave and bought a plane ticket and came back to find her place of work. Someone told me that Mr. Gan took leave to get a marriage certificate."

It turned out that it was really a sin.Gan Lu was very surprised, so she had no choice but to bite the bullet and say, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for me? Did you break up all of a sudden? Or did it suddenly arouse my delusions and marry someone else?" Nie Qian asked aggressively.

"There is nothing to say about the breakup. It will be a matter of time if I don't say it. I must have been bewitched when I made that phone call. I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep. I also made you worry and caused you to leave work for nothing. .”

"Then tell me now, what you wanted to say to me at the time, didn't mean you wanted to announce your wedding date and invite me to a wedding bar?"

Gan Lu was silent, of course she was not as sure as she told her mother, in fact, until the last moment, she still doubted her decision.But that was a decision she made without any external pressure. She had already pushed back all the doubts of everyone, and she could only digest her hesitation alone.

Making that phone call was almost an instinctive reaction from the ups and downs of her heart, but when he answered the phone, she immediately regained her senses, knowing how ridiculous it was to act on instinct, so she hung up hastily.

"It's fine if you don't say it." Nie Qian suddenly became irritable.

"Actually, there's nothing to say. I'm just afraid before marriage."

There was a moment of silence in the car, the lights from the street lamps outside the window swept back, the light and dark alternated rapidly, and the expressions on each other's faces could not be seen clearly.The car stopped downstairs in the building where Gan Lu lived. She unbuckled her seat belt and said softly, "Forget about that, Nie Qian, let's all live a good life."

"Yeah, I can see that you live a good life, that's good." Nie Qian's voice was obviously mocking, "Actually, I don't care as much as you think. After being dumped by a girl once, I don't think much about love. If it is so serious, it can be regarded as a harvest.”

"It's not thanks to me. Don't try to use this to make me feel guilty. You have never considered love as important." Gan Lu opened the car door, but Nie Qian grabbed her arm and dragged her back. Pushing heavily against the back of the chair, she looked back at him angrily, and he withdrew his hand.

"Is that why you broke up with me?"

"It's been a long time in the past, so it's ridiculous to talk about it in detail."

"But you obviously didn't marry a man who put love first and gave you enough sense of security. He didn't even let you get rid of your pre-marital fears."

"My fear is that the marriage itself is not him. Do I need to formally apologize for that phone call?"

Her tone was tough, but Nie Qian smiled instead, his white teeth gleamed in the darkness, and his voice suddenly softened: "No need, I'm glad you can think of me when you're afraid."

Gan Lu was startled, then chuckled, "Nie Qian, you're always so arrogant." She opened the car door again and went down, waved to Nie Qian, and entered the building.

She didn't look back, but she knew clearly that Nie Qian was watching her from behind her.

It's just that this gaze came too late.

(End of this chapter)