Half-life immortal
Chapter 50 Compromise and struggle, the girl's memory is extremely heavy
Chapter 50 Compromise and struggle, the girl's memory is extremely heavy
She didn't resist, but threw herself into Feng Yutian's arms and sobbed endlessly.
Feng Yutian thought she recognized him, and was about to touch her back to comfort her, but the moment his fingers were about to touch her body, he heard her sobbing words, and then his arms froze in mid-air.
But his hand only stayed for a moment, and then he hugged her tightly with both hands.
She only said a few simple words:
"father……"
"Kill me……"
She didn't want to run away anymore, she knew she was wrong, she shouldn't have climbed onto the roof so naughtily back then, let alone carrying stones with her.She should appear in front of the farmer in time when the boiling water is ready, and then calmly accept the fate she should face. This is the path that fate arranged for her...
Feng Yutian didn't know about her past, he only heard her mention vaguely that she had an adoptive father, but he never said much about the specifics, and in fact Xue Qinglan had many, many adoptive fathers, and her words were always half-truth Half false, outsiders have no way of guessing.
There are only a few words in her weeping whisper, and there seems to be a long story hidden behind these words. Feng Yutian doesn't know her story, but he can think that she must be in pain, so he hugged her tightly She, if her phantom still had a slight connection with reality, if she saw him as someone, then he hoped that "hugging" could slightly reduce her pain and let her know that the person in front of him didn't want her to die.
Xiqiuzhi was a little embarrassed standing aside, even though it shouldn't be an awkward time and occasion, he didn't know what to do, so he suddenly "suddenly realized" and said: "Oh! Junior brother, I'll try to deploy some The medicine to calm the nerves and calm the mind may be effective!"
After saying that, he ran out as if fleeing, and closed the door behind him. As for comforting Xue Qinglan, he would irresponsibly leave it to his junior brother!
The door slammed shut with a loud sound, which disturbed Xue Qinglan.She trembled suddenly, then struggled to get out of Feng Yutian's embrace, and shouted abnormally: "No... no... I have no relatives... No, don't chase me anymore! No matter how many times you come back from hell, I Will kill you! Kill you!"
She yelled fiercely, but her movements kept retreating.The entire bed was only that big, and it was covered by a bed curtain, so the space was extremely small.She retreated to the corner of the bed with hands and feet, and touched the wall in two strokes.
"Junior Sister..." Feng Yutian didn't know how to comfort her, and he didn't know what phantom she had seen, even his voice and appearance couldn't reach Xue Qinglan, no matter what he did, it was futile , he couldn't control what Xue Qinglan would see at all.
But what he knew was that once Xue Qinglan gave up resistance and resigned herself to her fate, and died in the illusion, then her spirit would die, that is, she would have a mental breakdown.Once her spirit breaks down, she will die as well.
However, on the other hand, if she couldn't get rid of the illusion and kept struggling, her spirit would be tense and broken for a moment, which would also lead to a mental breakdown.That is to say, they will die no matter what, and the results can be regarded as equally miserable, the difference is only in the length of time.
Xue Qinglan is currently on the bed, and she has nowhere to go, but her phantom suddenly turned into a vast and boundless grassland, and in her current situation, she can't even think about why she suddenly changed from the house to the grassland. Accepting everything that can be "seen" in front of my eyes, I just slammed my head against the wall without thinking about it.
She didn't want to commit suicide, but in reality, it seemed that her actions were hitting a wall to commit suicide, and the collision was not light!
With a sound of "boom", her forehead hit a thick stone wall, and her whole body was bounced back. The right forehead was also broken, and blood gushed out.
"Sister?!"
Feng Yutian was frightened by her this time, who would have thought that she would suddenly slam into the wall?But she didn't feel that she hit the wall at all, she even got up and wanted to hit the wall!
He didn't care about so many things, he couldn't just watch Xue Qinglan commit suicide like this, forcibly grabbed her arm, pulled her over with a little force and hugged her in his arms.This time the hug was even tighter than before, it was like using his own body to lock her movements so that she could no longer indiscriminately harm herself.
"Let go of me! Let go of me—!"
She struggled desperately, but Feng Yutian hugged him too tightly, she couldn't break free at all.At this time, she is determined not to recognize Feng Yutian, in her eyes he has changed from a farmer's father to another human trafficker who wants to sell her.
Illusions are not always the same. She has experienced more than a thousand tragic things. The Phantom Heart Grass will move all the negative memories in her heart one by one. The tragedy of the farmer when she was three years old is just one of them. The reason why the river cave demonized monsters was triggered in advance.
In fact, it's really hard to say which part of Xue Qinglan's experience is "the most" frightening to her. It can only be said that they are all terrible and catastrophic, and it is really difficult to evaluate them.
Different fears attack in turn, no matter how strong Xue Qinglan is, sooner or later she will fall, and eventually she will have a mental breakdown.As Xiqiu said, her cultivation base is still shallow, and she hasn't even practiced the most basic sword skills, let alone cultivated her mind.Taking a step back, even a person who has attained Taoism and become an immortal will still be close to death if he encounters a heart demon, and even the higher the cultivation level, the heavier the heart demon will be.
Feng Yutian hugged her so tightly that she couldn't move at all, the most important thing was that what she saw in the illusion was her enemy, she didn't want to be caught by the enemy, so she had to use the only "weapon" she could use "--teeth.
She opened her mouth and bit down fiercely on Feng Yutian's left shoulder, her teeth were sharp enough, and in the situation of extreme hatred, she naturally bit down with all her strength.
Feng Yutian couldn't help frowning, and also noticed that she was biting him, there was a little pain in his shoulder, his clothes might be torn.
Even so, he didn't use his aura to protect himself.Xue Qinglan bit so hard, if he really used spiritual energy to strengthen his body, her teeth would definitely collapse.
It's just a bite, even if a piece of flesh is bitten off, it's nothing. He didn't make any resistance, but instead held her head with one hand, which would make her bite deeper, but also prevent her from making other actions.
The black Taoist robe on his body is at least the uniform of Taiqing Mountain's direct disciples, and its defense is not weak. If Xue Qinglan hadn't recovered her aura, she might not even be able to tear through her clothes.Relatively speaking, it was also difficult for Xue Qinglan to really bite off a piece of his flesh.
He hugged her like this for an unknown how long, when the sky was completely dark and bright again, she finally calmed down a little and fell asleep again.
Only now did Feng Yutian have the time to check his shoulders. The place where he was bitten left two clear rows of small teeth marks, and the teeth marks were quite deep, and there was some blood, but fortunately, it was not serious.
From time to time, Xiqiu would come here to deliver decoctions, most of which are medicines for calming the mind and calming the mind, with limited effects, and are not as good as the Mongolian sweat medicines used by the people.
While Xue Qinglan was asleep, he also teased Feng Yutian a few words: "Junior brother, why are you bothering? Look at this tooth mark, it's too deep, what if there is a scar in the future?"
Feng Yutian still had an unsmiling expression, and said: "It doesn't matter. It's not my daughter's house, so why bother with it?"
Seeing him depressed, Xiqiuzhi said casually: "That's not what I said. It's okay to have other arrow wounds and burns, but this tooth mark... Hehe, junior brother, do you know what it means? This is only for the same pillow. The traces that can only be left by a good person, if your Taoist companion sees it in the future, let's see how you explain it!"
Seeing him making such silly jokes again, Feng Yutian couldn't help but sink his face, and he didn't even look at what time it was, how could he still be in the mood to say these silly sarcastic remarks?
Xiqiuzhi didn't have this self-knowledge, and continued to say to himself: "Actually, this is easy to solve. If your Taoist companion is the junior sister, then of course there is no need to explain. So junior brother, you should encourage and help the younger sister. She survived this test, which is related to your happiness for the rest of your life—"
Feng Yutian glared at him, and said in a bad tone: "Master, brother!"
Xiqiu pretended to be stupid and said: "Ah? Junior brother, you call me? Just say anything—"
Feng Yutian interrupted in a deep voice: "Senior brother! I give you twelve hours to concoct the antidote for Phantom Heart Grass! If you haven't got the antidote before dawn tomorrow, then you can weigh all the consequences yourself !"
Xi Qiuzhi opened his mouth wide in surprise, and said: "No way, junior brother, you are too cruel. You want me to make out this magic heart grass antidote that has never appeared before in twelve hours? Even if you give me 12 years impossible……"
Feng Yutian waved his hand and said: "This is your problem, it has nothing to do with me. Now we are trapped in Yongchang City by the moat formation, we can't go back to Taiqing Mountain, and no one else can help us. You are our You are the only one who has learned some medical skills, you deserve this important task."
Everything he said made sense, Xi Qiuzhi had nothing to say, so he had to accept the task depressedly, and went out to think hard about the prescription.He knows that this task is very difficult, but as Feng Yutian said, they have no other way now, they can't really just watch the little junior sister die, so they have to be a dead horse as a living horse doctor.
Time passed quickly, and two days passed in a blink of an eye.
The twelve hours that Feng Yutian said had already passed, but most of what Feng Yutian said at the time was just angry words, and he never thought that he would really embarrass senior brother that much, and he didn't ask Xi Qiuzhi to settle the score.And Xi Qiuzhi also racked his brains to prepare the prescription, tried almost all kinds of tonics, but the effect was pitifully small.
For the past two days, Feng Yutian has been by Xue Qinglan's company, she sleeps and wakes up, whether she wakes up or sleeps, she is in a constant illusion, she never wakes up even for a moment, she cries and shouts from time to time, and her spirit is very unstable.Moreover, Feng Yutian could tell that her body was gradually weakening, her face was extremely pale, and even her crying seemed weak.
Feng Yutian didn't need any extra strength to hug her, because her resistance had already been so weak that she couldn't break free from his embrace, just like a dying person, both physically and mentally weak.
His complexion wasn't good either, and he stayed close to her for two days, basically didn't take a long rest, and he was always on guard against her crazy movements, and he was quite exhausted.
He gently stroked her black hair and straightened her hair, his movements were very gentle, but his expression was not like this.He frowned and bit his lip, his eyes were filled with anger and fatigue.
He must find out those two killers and the mastermind behind the murder!Those people have caused her so much misery and made her suffer so much, he will definitely not let them go!
If it is said that before Feng Yutian was open to the fact that someone hated him and assassinated him, and held a tolerant attitude of indifference, now he really takes this matter to heart.It would be fine if that person just dealt with him, he didn't care, but because that vendetta actually killed his junior sister, Xue Qinglan was completely implicated by him, and now she was wandering on the line of life and death like this, how could he do it again? Swallow your breath?
Even if it is made of mud, it is a bit rustic!Before, Feng Yutian just didn't care about it because the other party was probably from the same sect, but now he was really angry. If he hadn't always been rational, he might have taken away all the killer strongholds in Yongchang City one by one.
If Xue Qinglan knew what he was thinking at this time, she would be very surprised. She always thought that this guy was a cold-blooded animal without emotion, and he was nothing but a piece of wood except that he was very powerful and reliable, although Xi Qiuzhi often teased him She was kind to Feng Yutian, but Xue Qinglan didn't care about it as time went by, she just thought it was Xiqiu's nature and didn't take it to heart, so she didn't think her two senior brothers really cared about her that much.
During all her waking hours, Feng Yutian kept a polite distance from her. Except for her initiative, she never even held hands, never saw any special emotion on his face, and never had a particularly intimate relationship. Of course, she would not think that Feng Yutian really likes her, but Feng Yutian himself is probably still ignorant of this question, the relationship between them should be limited to her mysterious spirit body being able to restrain his innate evil spirit.
Outside the window, there was a person standing stupidly, and through the gap in the window, he saw two people sitting hugging each other in the room.
He is Fang Suihan, and after he told Xiqiuzhi everything he knew, Xiqiuzhi let him go.However, Fang Suihan was worried about Xue Qinglan's life and death, so he refused to leave. Instead, he stayed in the small courtyard of the residential house shamelessly, and by the way, he also helped Xiqiuzhi refine the medicine.
Xi Qiuzhi saw that he was quite honest and that he was an acquaintance of Xue Qinglan, so he reluctantly agreed with him to stay.As for the master of the Taiping Temple, he had already sent him away, and the arrested monk Huineng must not be released, and he is still tied up in the room.
When Fang Suihan was free, he would stand in the small courtyard and look into Xue Qinglan's room. He only managed to get Xiqiu's permission to go in two days ago, and then he couldn't enter that room again.He knew that Xue Qinglan was accompanied by her senior brother, which was many times better than him, and he would definitely be able to take good care of Xue Qinglan...
However, even with all kinds of reasons, when he saw the shadows of the two people in the room blending together outside the window again and again, he couldn't help but feel at a loss.
(End of this chapter)
She didn't resist, but threw herself into Feng Yutian's arms and sobbed endlessly.
Feng Yutian thought she recognized him, and was about to touch her back to comfort her, but the moment his fingers were about to touch her body, he heard her sobbing words, and then his arms froze in mid-air.
But his hand only stayed for a moment, and then he hugged her tightly with both hands.
She only said a few simple words:
"father……"
"Kill me……"
She didn't want to run away anymore, she knew she was wrong, she shouldn't have climbed onto the roof so naughtily back then, let alone carrying stones with her.She should appear in front of the farmer in time when the boiling water is ready, and then calmly accept the fate she should face. This is the path that fate arranged for her...
Feng Yutian didn't know about her past, he only heard her mention vaguely that she had an adoptive father, but he never said much about the specifics, and in fact Xue Qinglan had many, many adoptive fathers, and her words were always half-truth Half false, outsiders have no way of guessing.
There are only a few words in her weeping whisper, and there seems to be a long story hidden behind these words. Feng Yutian doesn't know her story, but he can think that she must be in pain, so he hugged her tightly She, if her phantom still had a slight connection with reality, if she saw him as someone, then he hoped that "hugging" could slightly reduce her pain and let her know that the person in front of him didn't want her to die.
Xiqiuzhi was a little embarrassed standing aside, even though it shouldn't be an awkward time and occasion, he didn't know what to do, so he suddenly "suddenly realized" and said: "Oh! Junior brother, I'll try to deploy some The medicine to calm the nerves and calm the mind may be effective!"
After saying that, he ran out as if fleeing, and closed the door behind him. As for comforting Xue Qinglan, he would irresponsibly leave it to his junior brother!
The door slammed shut with a loud sound, which disturbed Xue Qinglan.She trembled suddenly, then struggled to get out of Feng Yutian's embrace, and shouted abnormally: "No... no... I have no relatives... No, don't chase me anymore! No matter how many times you come back from hell, I Will kill you! Kill you!"
She yelled fiercely, but her movements kept retreating.The entire bed was only that big, and it was covered by a bed curtain, so the space was extremely small.She retreated to the corner of the bed with hands and feet, and touched the wall in two strokes.
"Junior Sister..." Feng Yutian didn't know how to comfort her, and he didn't know what phantom she had seen, even his voice and appearance couldn't reach Xue Qinglan, no matter what he did, it was futile , he couldn't control what Xue Qinglan would see at all.
But what he knew was that once Xue Qinglan gave up resistance and resigned herself to her fate, and died in the illusion, then her spirit would die, that is, she would have a mental breakdown.Once her spirit breaks down, she will die as well.
However, on the other hand, if she couldn't get rid of the illusion and kept struggling, her spirit would be tense and broken for a moment, which would also lead to a mental breakdown.That is to say, they will die no matter what, and the results can be regarded as equally miserable, the difference is only in the length of time.
Xue Qinglan is currently on the bed, and she has nowhere to go, but her phantom suddenly turned into a vast and boundless grassland, and in her current situation, she can't even think about why she suddenly changed from the house to the grassland. Accepting everything that can be "seen" in front of my eyes, I just slammed my head against the wall without thinking about it.
She didn't want to commit suicide, but in reality, it seemed that her actions were hitting a wall to commit suicide, and the collision was not light!
With a sound of "boom", her forehead hit a thick stone wall, and her whole body was bounced back. The right forehead was also broken, and blood gushed out.
"Sister?!"
Feng Yutian was frightened by her this time, who would have thought that she would suddenly slam into the wall?But she didn't feel that she hit the wall at all, she even got up and wanted to hit the wall!
He didn't care about so many things, he couldn't just watch Xue Qinglan commit suicide like this, forcibly grabbed her arm, pulled her over with a little force and hugged her in his arms.This time the hug was even tighter than before, it was like using his own body to lock her movements so that she could no longer indiscriminately harm herself.
"Let go of me! Let go of me—!"
She struggled desperately, but Feng Yutian hugged him too tightly, she couldn't break free at all.At this time, she is determined not to recognize Feng Yutian, in her eyes he has changed from a farmer's father to another human trafficker who wants to sell her.
Illusions are not always the same. She has experienced more than a thousand tragic things. The Phantom Heart Grass will move all the negative memories in her heart one by one. The tragedy of the farmer when she was three years old is just one of them. The reason why the river cave demonized monsters was triggered in advance.
In fact, it's really hard to say which part of Xue Qinglan's experience is "the most" frightening to her. It can only be said that they are all terrible and catastrophic, and it is really difficult to evaluate them.
Different fears attack in turn, no matter how strong Xue Qinglan is, sooner or later she will fall, and eventually she will have a mental breakdown.As Xiqiu said, her cultivation base is still shallow, and she hasn't even practiced the most basic sword skills, let alone cultivated her mind.Taking a step back, even a person who has attained Taoism and become an immortal will still be close to death if he encounters a heart demon, and even the higher the cultivation level, the heavier the heart demon will be.
Feng Yutian hugged her so tightly that she couldn't move at all, the most important thing was that what she saw in the illusion was her enemy, she didn't want to be caught by the enemy, so she had to use the only "weapon" she could use "--teeth.
She opened her mouth and bit down fiercely on Feng Yutian's left shoulder, her teeth were sharp enough, and in the situation of extreme hatred, she naturally bit down with all her strength.
Feng Yutian couldn't help frowning, and also noticed that she was biting him, there was a little pain in his shoulder, his clothes might be torn.
Even so, he didn't use his aura to protect himself.Xue Qinglan bit so hard, if he really used spiritual energy to strengthen his body, her teeth would definitely collapse.
It's just a bite, even if a piece of flesh is bitten off, it's nothing. He didn't make any resistance, but instead held her head with one hand, which would make her bite deeper, but also prevent her from making other actions.
The black Taoist robe on his body is at least the uniform of Taiqing Mountain's direct disciples, and its defense is not weak. If Xue Qinglan hadn't recovered her aura, she might not even be able to tear through her clothes.Relatively speaking, it was also difficult for Xue Qinglan to really bite off a piece of his flesh.
He hugged her like this for an unknown how long, when the sky was completely dark and bright again, she finally calmed down a little and fell asleep again.
Only now did Feng Yutian have the time to check his shoulders. The place where he was bitten left two clear rows of small teeth marks, and the teeth marks were quite deep, and there was some blood, but fortunately, it was not serious.
From time to time, Xiqiu would come here to deliver decoctions, most of which are medicines for calming the mind and calming the mind, with limited effects, and are not as good as the Mongolian sweat medicines used by the people.
While Xue Qinglan was asleep, he also teased Feng Yutian a few words: "Junior brother, why are you bothering? Look at this tooth mark, it's too deep, what if there is a scar in the future?"
Feng Yutian still had an unsmiling expression, and said: "It doesn't matter. It's not my daughter's house, so why bother with it?"
Seeing him depressed, Xiqiuzhi said casually: "That's not what I said. It's okay to have other arrow wounds and burns, but this tooth mark... Hehe, junior brother, do you know what it means? This is only for the same pillow. The traces that can only be left by a good person, if your Taoist companion sees it in the future, let's see how you explain it!"
Seeing him making such silly jokes again, Feng Yutian couldn't help but sink his face, and he didn't even look at what time it was, how could he still be in the mood to say these silly sarcastic remarks?
Xiqiuzhi didn't have this self-knowledge, and continued to say to himself: "Actually, this is easy to solve. If your Taoist companion is the junior sister, then of course there is no need to explain. So junior brother, you should encourage and help the younger sister. She survived this test, which is related to your happiness for the rest of your life—"
Feng Yutian glared at him, and said in a bad tone: "Master, brother!"
Xiqiu pretended to be stupid and said: "Ah? Junior brother, you call me? Just say anything—"
Feng Yutian interrupted in a deep voice: "Senior brother! I give you twelve hours to concoct the antidote for Phantom Heart Grass! If you haven't got the antidote before dawn tomorrow, then you can weigh all the consequences yourself !"
Xi Qiuzhi opened his mouth wide in surprise, and said: "No way, junior brother, you are too cruel. You want me to make out this magic heart grass antidote that has never appeared before in twelve hours? Even if you give me 12 years impossible……"
Feng Yutian waved his hand and said: "This is your problem, it has nothing to do with me. Now we are trapped in Yongchang City by the moat formation, we can't go back to Taiqing Mountain, and no one else can help us. You are our You are the only one who has learned some medical skills, you deserve this important task."
Everything he said made sense, Xi Qiuzhi had nothing to say, so he had to accept the task depressedly, and went out to think hard about the prescription.He knows that this task is very difficult, but as Feng Yutian said, they have no other way now, they can't really just watch the little junior sister die, so they have to be a dead horse as a living horse doctor.
Time passed quickly, and two days passed in a blink of an eye.
The twelve hours that Feng Yutian said had already passed, but most of what Feng Yutian said at the time was just angry words, and he never thought that he would really embarrass senior brother that much, and he didn't ask Xi Qiuzhi to settle the score.And Xi Qiuzhi also racked his brains to prepare the prescription, tried almost all kinds of tonics, but the effect was pitifully small.
For the past two days, Feng Yutian has been by Xue Qinglan's company, she sleeps and wakes up, whether she wakes up or sleeps, she is in a constant illusion, she never wakes up even for a moment, she cries and shouts from time to time, and her spirit is very unstable.Moreover, Feng Yutian could tell that her body was gradually weakening, her face was extremely pale, and even her crying seemed weak.
Feng Yutian didn't need any extra strength to hug her, because her resistance had already been so weak that she couldn't break free from his embrace, just like a dying person, both physically and mentally weak.
His complexion wasn't good either, and he stayed close to her for two days, basically didn't take a long rest, and he was always on guard against her crazy movements, and he was quite exhausted.
He gently stroked her black hair and straightened her hair, his movements were very gentle, but his expression was not like this.He frowned and bit his lip, his eyes were filled with anger and fatigue.
He must find out those two killers and the mastermind behind the murder!Those people have caused her so much misery and made her suffer so much, he will definitely not let them go!
If it is said that before Feng Yutian was open to the fact that someone hated him and assassinated him, and held a tolerant attitude of indifference, now he really takes this matter to heart.It would be fine if that person just dealt with him, he didn't care, but because that vendetta actually killed his junior sister, Xue Qinglan was completely implicated by him, and now she was wandering on the line of life and death like this, how could he do it again? Swallow your breath?
Even if it is made of mud, it is a bit rustic!Before, Feng Yutian just didn't care about it because the other party was probably from the same sect, but now he was really angry. If he hadn't always been rational, he might have taken away all the killer strongholds in Yongchang City one by one.
If Xue Qinglan knew what he was thinking at this time, she would be very surprised. She always thought that this guy was a cold-blooded animal without emotion, and he was nothing but a piece of wood except that he was very powerful and reliable, although Xi Qiuzhi often teased him She was kind to Feng Yutian, but Xue Qinglan didn't care about it as time went by, she just thought it was Xiqiu's nature and didn't take it to heart, so she didn't think her two senior brothers really cared about her that much.
During all her waking hours, Feng Yutian kept a polite distance from her. Except for her initiative, she never even held hands, never saw any special emotion on his face, and never had a particularly intimate relationship. Of course, she would not think that Feng Yutian really likes her, but Feng Yutian himself is probably still ignorant of this question, the relationship between them should be limited to her mysterious spirit body being able to restrain his innate evil spirit.
Outside the window, there was a person standing stupidly, and through the gap in the window, he saw two people sitting hugging each other in the room.
He is Fang Suihan, and after he told Xiqiuzhi everything he knew, Xiqiuzhi let him go.However, Fang Suihan was worried about Xue Qinglan's life and death, so he refused to leave. Instead, he stayed in the small courtyard of the residential house shamelessly, and by the way, he also helped Xiqiuzhi refine the medicine.
Xi Qiuzhi saw that he was quite honest and that he was an acquaintance of Xue Qinglan, so he reluctantly agreed with him to stay.As for the master of the Taiping Temple, he had already sent him away, and the arrested monk Huineng must not be released, and he is still tied up in the room.
When Fang Suihan was free, he would stand in the small courtyard and look into Xue Qinglan's room. He only managed to get Xiqiu's permission to go in two days ago, and then he couldn't enter that room again.He knew that Xue Qinglan was accompanied by her senior brother, which was many times better than him, and he would definitely be able to take good care of Xue Qinglan...
However, even with all kinds of reasons, when he saw the shadows of the two people in the room blending together outside the window again and again, he couldn't help but feel at a loss.
(End of this chapter)
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