Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 1

Chapter 7 Ghosts and Gods (3)
I heard that ancient people used water instead of mirrors, and it looked really good. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but take another look at Sanniang's reflection.

What a beautiful girl, but it's a pity that she was cast in the wrong fetus. If she were a human being, she would do business with me and become a cultural person. I would paste the paste on the wall and she would post small advertisements. The husband and wife would work together. How happy it would be.

While thinking wildly, I stared at Sanniang's reflection in a daze.

The reflection swayed gently with the ups and downs of the water waves, and I suddenly noticed a slight change in the face. First, the outline became blurred. Although it was still a woman, it no longer looked like Sanniang. I was amazed in my heart, and looked over intently, only to see a man's face was reflected in the waves of the water. The face seemed to have been soaked in water and had been deformed.

At this moment, a sharp voice sounded: "Water ghost! Water ghost! Ahh! Water ghost!"

"Water ghost! Water ghost! Ahh! Water ghost!"

The sharp and stern voice pierced through the air in the dark night, making one's scalp numb.

I turned my head to look, and there was an old lady standing behind her, pointing at Sanniang with a distorted face and screaming.

Although it was a hot day, the old lady was wearing a dark green thick padded jacket.

San Niang was also obviously taken aback by the old lady: "Who is this?"

"Water ghost! Water ghost!" The old lady screamed, picked up a branch from the ground, waved it at Sanniang, and shouted, "Kill you! Call you harm! Call you harm! Kill you!"

I saw that it was okay, if this vixen got angry, would a helpless old lady survive?He quickly reached out and hugged Sanniang, and shouted: "Sanniang, don't be impulsive, don't be impulsive."

Sanniang stomped her feet and said, "She is attacking me, you should stop her, why hug me?"

The person who said this obviously didn't understand male psychology. I looked at the old lady's face and hugged Sanniang even tighter.

While talking, the branch of the old lady had already fallen, I quickly turned around holding San Niang, and the branch hit me on the back with a slap.

The old lady's hand strength is not small, and my back is burning hot.

Sanniang broke free from my arms, seeing that the old lady was about to pull down again, she grabbed the old lady's wrist with one hand and cursed: "Crazy!"

The two of them had already met each other while talking, and they could see each other clearly, Sanniang paused, looked at the old lady, her eyes were full of doubts, and asked, "Cuiping?"

The old lady seemed to see something frightening, her eyes widened suddenly, and she screamed: "Ghost, ghost!" Then she tried to break free from Sanniang's grasp by beating her hands and feet, but Sanniang let go, the old lady Immediately ran to the side of the grass, hugged the branches, cried and shivered into a ball.

The two seem to know each other. I reached for the wound on my back and said, "You said you knew her earlier."

Sanniang stared at the old lady as if she didn't hear what I said, took a few steps forward, and asked cautiously, "Cuiping?"

"Ah..." The old lady trembled like a frightened rabbit.

"Mom!" A 50-[-]-year-old man ran from a distance, and ran to support the old lady, "Why are you running here again, come back with me."

The old lady seemed to have seen a life-saving straw, she hugged the man's arm and did not let go, crying like a child: "There are ghosts, there are ghosts."

"What silly things are you talking about?" The man glanced at us, "The ones standing there are all human beings."

"There are ghosts... There are ghosts..." The old lady repeated in a low voice, as if dreaming.

"I'm really sorry!" The man said to us, "My mother is getting old and her brain is not working well."

It turned out to be crazy.

I waved my hand and said, "It's okay, it's okay."

The man helped the old lady to go outside, and after a few steps, the old lady suddenly smiled sinisterly, turned her head, pointed at the river, looked at me with clear eyes, and said word by word: "This river, It's a dead river!"

The river is gurgling and flowing, and the bottom of the river is clear. Where is the dead river?
I looked in the direction she pointed reflexively, but there was a bang in my head.

I saw that the river that was shimmering just now turned into a dark red like human blood, and there were still faint bones floating on the river!

I can even smell the rancid smell coming from the river.

I broke out in a cold sweat, closed my eyes, shook my head, and looked again, and there was still the sparkling clear river in front of me.

Going to look at the old lady again, she was already taken away by that man. Sanniang looked at their backs, not knowing what she was thinking.

"You..." I hurriedly asked Xiang Sanniang. "Did you see it just now?"

"Since this land is called the land of extreme yin, there is a reason for it." San Niang glanced at me and said with a smile, "You should worry about the things in front of you first."

On the third day after Zhao Yi's death, the Zhao family began to hold funerals.

The village is not big, and everyone knows each other. When I went there, the Zhao family had already surrounded a bunch of villagers.

The mourning hall is completely set up in accordance with the rules of the country, with white curtains hanging on the left and right, photos of Zhao Yi before his death are placed on the mourning table, and a wooden urn is placed in front of the photos, and an incense burner, white candles and a plate of fruit are placed on the Eight Immortals table.

Zhao Yi's mother has cried so much these two days that her whole body has become numb, and when she sees someone come to express her condolences, she doesn't speak a word, she just shed tears.

I hate seeing women cry the most, so after a few comforting words, I came out.

A few villagers beside him whispered, "Why was it cremated so quickly?"

"The village chief said that the child's death was strange. It may be that the water ghost caught the double, and the body cannot be kept."

"That's right. It used to be that the dead people were put in the old house. Now that there are new people living in it, they will definitely not be released."

No wonder my room is so cloudy, it turns out that you used it as a morgue!

I felt very uncomfortable. When I looked up, I saw Zhang Jiayan, Feng Li, and Yan Hao standing outside the door. The boys had red eyes, and the girls wiped their tears.

I said, "You are all here, why don't you go in and see him for the last time?"

Feng Li said: "He didn't want to play Die Xian at the beginning, we forced him to come here." Speaking of this, she cried again, "It was us who killed him!"

I said, "Death is destiny, and it has nothing to do with you."

"Of course it has something to do with it!" Zhang Jiayan looked at me fiercely, "It's your fault! It caused us all to die!"

I said, "Why did you go back again? This is impossible!"

Zhang Jiayan scolded: "You want to shirk responsibility?!" After speaking, she rushed up with red eyes and wanted to beat me.

Yan Hao quickly stopped her, then turned to me and said, "Lu Lin was hit by a car yesterday."

I was startled: "Dead?"

"Fortunately not, but the leg is broken." Feng Li said, "I am currently hospitalized."

I breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Maybe it's also..." Before the words "accident" came out, my heart suddenly moved, and I asked, "Where's Hu Yating?"

Yan Hao paused, and then said, "She's missing."

Missing?

"She's from out of town. She's been living on campus since freshman year of high school. She's been quiet all the time. She's never caused any trouble. Her grades are neither good nor bad. She's quite unremarkable. No one has ever seen her family. But when I went back that day, after we broke up, she didn't go back to the dormitory, and she disappeared in the past two days."

"Your school doesn't even have phone numbers for students' homes?!" I said, "Call and ask!"

Yan Hao looked at me and said, "The phone number she left is empty."

This sentence stunned me immediately.

Feng Li's eyes were red again: "Maybe she...has...already..."

Zhang Jiayan continued to stare at me with that kind of eyes that look like an enemy.

At this moment, no matter how optimistic I am, I can't say "you are all right".

Within three days, among the six people playing Die Xian, one died, one disappeared and one got into a car accident.

This probability is obviously not as simple as a coincidence.

I used to firmly believe that the general belly and the thin man were not evil spirits, but now, I have been shaken.

Perhaps there is such a possibility that the general belly and the thin man still didn't catch up with the time to register, so resentment turned into hatred, and they vented their anger on these people who invited Die Xian.

The more I think about it, the more I feel that this possibility is very high. Usually, many people can get their heads broken for a small matter, let alone such a big matter as opening a household registration? !
I made this reasoning very seriously, but I didn't tell the three of them about it. If I told them, children who don't believe in other people's registration, they would definitely laugh at me and reduce the trust I had built so hard. The atmosphere will definitely become less serious soon.

I asked, "Then how are you going to protect yourself?"

Yan Hao said: "You once said that you are a Taoist priest, and this incident happened because of you. You should provide us with protection."

I cleared my mind and said without any hesitation, "That's fine, I'll go to your house and provide personal protection 24 hours a day."

Feng Li asked: "Why are you like this? Why didn't you say let us live in your place, your place is still a small second floor!"

I thought about the group of dead ghosts, fox spirits and dead children raised at home, and said to her very seriously: "You want to live in my house. I can't guarantee anything else, but I can guarantee that you will die faster than outside. .”

In the end, although I thought I could sacrifice myself to live with them, Zhang Jiayan and Feng Li did not agree.

These children were in great trouble, clamoring for me to be responsible, but at the same time unable to come up with a solution.

I walked around here for a long time with no results. Finally, I saw that the weather was getting better and I said, "Well, you all have people in your family. I will send you back today. From tomorrow, I will escort you to and from school every day. Don't you all have people at home?" Are the parents here? If they are, you won't be afraid."

After I finished speaking, Feng Li and Yan Hao looked at Zhang Jiayan together, and Yan Hao said: "Zhang Jiayan's parents work in other places all the year round, and there is no one at home."

Feng Li said, "I'll live with Yanyan for a few days."

I said, "You two women have a lot of yin, why don't I live with you."

Zhang Jiayan looked at me viciously: "If I live with you, I would rather be killed by ghosts!"

"It's better for me to live with her!" Feng Li said, "I'll take my dog ​​with me too." "

It is said that animals can be psychic, and dogs are creatures with strong yang energy that can drive away evil spirits. I thought about it and thought that if I spend all day in a haunted house, the dog may have stronger yang energy than me, so I agreed: "Where is your home?" ?”

"It's in the village, just turn around."

We followed Feng Li to a house, and as soon as we got outside the door, we heard the dog inside screaming, the sound was extremely fierce.

As soon as Feng Li opened the door, the khaki mongrel dog rushed over, stood beside Feng Li and barked at us.

"Ah!" Zhang Jiayan was taken aback and hid behind me. The dog leaned slightly, bared its teeth, and faced us vigilantly, whining and threateningly from its throat, as if it was about to pounce on us at any time.

"Ah Huang!" Feng Li went up to stroke its fur comfortingly, but the dog jumped away and barked wildly around us.

"Ah Huang! Ah Huang! What's wrong?" Feng Liman chased it around the yard, "It's never been like this before."

"Wow." The dog obviously has strong hostility towards us.

Feng Li chased after him for a long time but couldn't, she was so angry that tears came out, she stomped her feet and said, "Forget it, I won't take it with me, I live with Yanyan by myself, and was killed by a ghost!" Then she went into the house He took out a schoolbag and said to us, "Let's go."

Ah Huang was still barking.

I was wondering if it smelled of vixen on me, when Pai Yao suddenly said, "You only know how to bark, how can you protect your master!"

Strange to say, as soon as he finished speaking, the dog immediately shut up, whimpered softly, and followed Feng Li with its tail between its legs.

There were still tears in Feng Li's eyes, seeing it like this, she smiled and cursed: "You still have a conscience!" Then she went to get the rope and tied Ah Huang.

Ah Huang didn't bark anymore, she was as docile as a rabbit.

The rest of the people couldn't hear Pixiu's voice, but I could hear it clearly. As I walked outside, I asked strangely, "How can that dog understand human speech?"

Pixiu said: "You sound like a human, but that dog sounds like a dog."

Advanced, this is the automatic simultaneous translation that humans dream of.

Yan Hao asked: "Who are you talking to?"

Zhang Jiayan said: "At first glance, he is crazy!"

I said: "You don't understand, all the experts are a little nervous."

Feng Li led her family Ah Huang, and she became in a good mood, and started talking to me: "How did you become a Taoist priest?"

I smiled and said very modestly: "Talent, talent."

Come to think of it, a few weeks ago, I was an atheist through and through.

The reason why I didn't believe in ghosts before was because of my grandma.

My grandma used to tell me ghost stories all the time, such as red high heels and skulls from ancient tombs.If my grandma had raised me from an early age, I might be able to integrate into this industry soon, but my grandma started a little late. When I told me about it, I happened to be in the rebellious period. When I listened to ghost stories every day, I became an atheist when I rebelled.

As a result, he is now a Taoist priest again.

The world is really impermanent, the world is vast and ever-changing, and it is not always possible to get a job with any major you study.

Just when we started talking, we got along a little easier, and we passed Zhao Yi's mourning hall again, and those people fell silent again.

Feng Li's mouth hadn't turned up much, but it immediately drooped down again.

The atmosphere was too dignified, so I said, "People cannot be resurrected after death, so don't be too sad."

Feng Li said: "I feel uncomfortable."

"Then how?" I said.

"Why don't I tell you about the things that some people are not happy with and make you happy!"

Several people looked over.

"I am a person who has a lot of contacts and knows a lot of people." I said, "A friend named Xiaopang is a writer. One day after writing an article on the Internet and posting it, someone replied, and the person passed away cheerfully. Looking at it, the most replies are 'Lord Master Mu JJ', and the second most replies are 'The Landlord is a eunuch', Xiaopang is under a lot of pressure, hahahahahahaha."

"..." Those people fell silent.

I continued to laugh: "Hahahahahaha."

They still don't speak.

I couldn't stop laughing: "Hahahaha, this isn't funny at all!" Then I said to them: "People like you are good young people, Xiaopang must like you very much."

Zhang Jiayan gave me a hard look: "Crazy!" Then she walked away quickly.

"Yanyan, don't go alone." Feng Li hurriedly led the dog and chased after her.

Yan Hao said to me: "Don't worry about it, Zhao Yi's death, she is the saddest one, so she has a bad attitude towards you."

I asked: "Why?"

"It was Zhang Jiayan who proposed to recruit Die Xian this time." Yan Hao said hesitantly, "There was no Zhao Yi, but he had a crush on Zhang Jiayan for a long time, so he came with him, and..." He hesitated to speak, After a pause, he said, "Zhang Jiayan likes to play the pen fairy and the dish fairy very much. Zhao Yi originally wanted to please her, but unexpectedly it turned out like this. I think Zhang Jiayan is quite guilty now."

"No wonder that girl is always spooky!" I said, "How can a girl like this kind of thing? Isn't it weird?"

"..." Yan Hao thought for a while and said, "Actually, Hu Yating is the weirdest person."

Hu Yating is the weirdest?
This was completely beyond my expectation. When I met them that day, Hu Yating gave me the best impression. Why did she become the weirdest one in a blink of an eye?

As if he could see what I was thinking, Yan Hao explained: "After she disappeared, I found out when I checked her information. During the three years in middle school, her grades have always been in the middle. She has never been very good or very good. Poor, I have never had any disputes with anyone, and I have no close friends."

I said, "Isn't that normal?"

"Too normal is not normal." Yan Hao said, "As long as a person has feelings, he will definitely have preferences. Under the premise of the influence of emotions, someone will like a person, and someone will definitely hate him. In short, at least he can Impressive. But Hu Yating is weird."

"strangeness?"

"She didn't go to class for two days, but the teacher didn't notice that there was no one missing in the class. She lived on campus for four years, and her roommate didn't even notice that she didn't go back to the dormitory until we reminded her. Later, we went to the police station to call the police, but no one was there. I can tell what she looks like, including me, Zhang Jiayan, and Feng Li who I met the day before." Yan Hao probably saw me with a strange look on his face, and explained, "It's because you remember her name in your mind, You can get the right number when you see that person, but if that person is not in front of you, you can't tell what she looks like anyway."

I thought that if Hu Yating heard this, she would cry to death: "Is she so plain?"

Yan Hao continued: "Besides, this time to recruit Die Xian, the original ones were me, Zhang Jiayan, Feng Li and Lu Lin, not her."

I sent those students home and thought as I walked back. According to Yan Hao, Yan Hao said that the few of them had spoken to Hu Yating less than ten times in three years, and they hadn't told anyone before that they would come to invite them. Die Xian and Hu Yating, who had nothing to do with them, heard from somewhere that they were uncharacteristically low-key, and insisted on intervening.

But these doubts are strange to say the least, and not strange to say the least. I used to know three friends who all had long faces and combed their hair. I could never tell the three of them apart.

That's good, among other things, in those Korean dramas that are particularly popular now, although the male protagonists have small eyes, I can tell the difference between the big and the small faces.Those heroines are terrible. The curvature of their chins is less than two degrees different, and the shape of their eyes is the same. At first glance, they are made from the same template and the same assembly line. The standard ones can almost pass the international IS9000 certification. It is life and death can not recognize who they are.

Later, the buddies around me fell in love with Korean dramas and thought I was old-fashioned, so I figured out a set of rules. When I saw the international IS9000 certified chin come out, I called out: "Isn't this Xiaojin!" Basically ten Can be right nine.

Therefore, it is beneficial to have more close relatives marrying. People in a country all look the same, and they are highly recognizable and easy to recognize! (It seems to be satirizing other countries)
So I don’t think it’s a big deal. The little girl has been keeping a low profile. She finally graduated from high school and wants to build a good relationship with her classmates. It’s also understandable to participate in group activities.

But there was one thing that caught my attention that day, that is, Hu Yating noticed the Pixiu on my body.

Did she feel something, or just say it casually?

(End of this chapter)