Shanyue doesn't know what's going on

Chapter 21 Does It Hurt?
Xiang Yuan lay on the hospital bed for four days. Ye Binglin told the doctor to give her the best medicine and the best care.However, after [-] days of hurting her muscles and bones, her waist injury could barely walk on the ground after [-] days, and it was not easy to completely recover.Xiang Yuan is a restless person, spending four days in the hospital bed is a luxury for her, although there is nothing urgent waiting for her to do, but she is just not used to lying in bed and waiting People serve.

Ye Yun stayed with her for two days, and went back to school under her persuasion. He would only show up after school at night. Xiang Yuan understood his kindness. He was afraid that she would be bored, so he kept talking about new and interesting things to make her happy. .It can be seen that his jokes are all read during the day, and he sells what he learns now. Sometimes he forgets the second half after telling the first half, but this does not prevent Xiang Yuan from laughing forward and backward.However, when Ye Yun left and the desert around her returned, she felt completely relieved. She just wanted to be alone, she didn't want to talk, cry or laugh, she didn't need comfort, sympathy, or even He needs someone to accompany him - even if that person is Xiao Ye Yun.

On the fourth day, Xiang Yuan finally got out of bed with his waist supported, and walked slowly along the corridor of the hospital alone. She hated white the most, a vast expanse of white, as if the edge could not be seen, which easily reminded her of a A habitual dream, a lone woman's back in the complete whiteness, is not scary, but it always makes her breathless in the dream.

She pushed open a door, and sure enough, she saw Ye Ling lying on the bed with eyes closed, and Ye Qianze beside the bed who was thinking about something with his head down.Uncle Ye still refused to transfer Ye Ling to the psychiatric ward.

Ye Ling's small body was trapped in the white sheets, her face was so white that it blended in with the background of the entire hospital, even though she was unconscious, her hand still firmly grasped Ye Qianze's wrist on the edge of the bed.

Sensing the movement, Ye Qianze raised his head slightly and looked at Xiang Yuan, without surprise or words, just quietly watching her approaching the bed step by step.I haven't seen him for a few days, his eye sockets are sunken a lot, and there is a green stubble on his chin. Xiang Yuan also noticed that his wrist held by Ye Ling is full of mottled scratches and half moons from nails. One can imagine how physically and mentally exhausted it is to stay in front of such a crazy patient's bed.But isn't this what he asked for?Most people's sadness and pain are self-inflicted, like herself, like him, like Ye Ling, what is there to sympathize with?Xiang Yuan stood beside Ye Qianze, looking down at his wound. She had made up her mind to stop suffering herself, but when would he be free?
The silence lasted for a long time, only the sound of Ye Ling's long and regular breathing in the room, she fell asleep, and fell into a deep sleep, maybe it was the effect of the medicine.

"Xiang Yuan." Ye Qianze spit out these two words softly, but Xiang Yuan could hardly recognize the slightly rough voice coming from his mouth.He lowered his head slowly, and Xiang Yuan was very close to him. When he lowered his head, his forehead almost touched her arm. Her hand retracted, but she didn't move away, so she felt his head slowing down. Leaning slowly on her hand.

"Xiang Yuan, you are so smart, tell me, what should I do?"

Xiang Yuan opened his mouth slightly, and then laughed silently. He asked her what should she do?He actually asked her what to do!Is this man too cruel or too naive?However, she couldn't be angry, because she knew that he really regarded her as a close friend. He was tired, so he couldn't hide his hesitation in front of this friend.

Xiang Yuan didn't know why Ye Qianze was obviously not interested in Ye Ling, but he resisted again and again. In the end, the trouble ended like this. She didn't even want to know the answer, it was their business.She can spend four days convincing herself that no matter how much she loves Ye Qianze, she can't continue wasting on a hopeless relationship, but she can't be great enough to guide their relationship.She was willing to give up in order to preserve her own heart, not for fulfillment.Even if she takes a ten thousand step back and truly stands as a good friend, she firmly believes that Ye Ling is not a good match.

Therefore, Xiang Yuan sneered and said, "You ask me what should I do? If I tell you not to go crazy with her anymore, will you listen?"

"She's my younger sister!" Ye Qianze looked at Xiang Yuan in shock.

"You know better than me that you are not brothers and sisters. Can you stop deceiving yourself? If this continues, she will drag you to death sooner or later!"

Xiang Yuan raised his tone, and she saw Ye Qianze glance at Ye Ling on the bed worriedly, his attention was not on her, but worried that her words would wake Ye Ling up.

This discovery made Xiang Yuan suddenly disheartened, feeling that her agitation just now was so meaningless, she thought, she was always doing meaningless things, just like Ye Ling wanted to die in Wild Yatan back then, what was she doing eagerly to save her, For those who are addicted, you may not be helping her (him) if you give her (him) a hand.

She took a step back and took another step, "Forget it, pretend I haven't said anything, Qianze, so I can do it for myself."

She opened the door, and unexpectedly saw Ye Binglin standing outside the door with a blank expression. She didn't know how long she had been here.

"Uncle Ye?"

Ye Binglin seemed to have just come back to his senses, with a look of anxiety on his face, "Xiang Yuan, I was looking for you, that's right, your second uncle Li called you at my hometown, and if you can't find anyone at school, call me Yes, Xiangyao is at school...something happened, I want you to go back as soon as possible. I told him that your back injury is not serious, and it is impossible to go back now. You'd better call Uncle Li, Ask what's going on."

Xiang Yuan called Second Uncle Li, but she still couldn't do what Uncle Ye said, so she held her breath and waited until everything was ready.On the ninth day after the injury, when she was finally able to move freely, she ignored the dissuasion of Uncle Ye and his wife and boarded the train back home.

Ye Yun clamored to go with her, but was severely reprimanded by her, she said, students should put their studies first, and you are about to take the final exam, why follow me?Qian Ze originally booked her a plane ticket, but she gave it back. As long as she doesn't make any big moves, her waist will be fine.

It was the second night after returning to Li Village. Uncle Li and his wife heard that Xiang Yuan's waist was not good, so they went to the village entrance to pick her up. It is far away, but it is also thanks to the care of Uncle Li and his wife.

In fact, in the past few years, Xiang Yuan went home to stay with Xiang Yao for a period of time basically every winter and summer vacation, but Xiang Yao always showed disapproval of her rushing back from thousands of miles, instead of saying strangely: "I'm so busy!" I’m really flattered when people come home to see me.” That is to say, “Are you afraid that I’ll burn down this old house while you’re away or sell it…”

Like Ye Yun, Xiang Yao is 16 years old and is in adolescence. Although Xiang Yuan doesn't seem to have experienced this period, she can understand Xiang Yao's rebellion and awkwardness during this period, so she usually doesn't care about her.Sometimes Xiang Yao went too far, and she simply went back to spend less, out of sight and out of mind, but Xiang Yao never spent less.I don't know when Xiang Yao started calling her, and there was nothing else but asking for money.

Along the way, Uncle Li and Aunt Li worried a lot about Xiang Yao, and the more Xiang Yuan listened, the more his face sank.

When she got home, the door was closed, and it was dark inside. It was obvious that Xiang Yao was not at home - it was the weekend, and Xiang Yao didn't stay at school at night. She knew that Xiang Yuan would come back one day.

"This Xiangyao is really getting more and more ignorant." Uncle Li nagged, and helped Xiang Yuan turn on the light, and Aunt Li went to tidy the bedding for her. In pain, she struggled to pour water for the two elderly people. Fortunately, the jug was not empty. After sitting for a while, Xiang Yao did not come back, so she persuaded the two elderly people to go home and rest first. The money was stuffed into Uncle Li's hands, but the old man wanted to refuse, but Xiang Yuan stopped him.Over the years, she and Xiang Yao's sisters have been taken care of by Uncle Li's family a lot, and she remembers everything.

After Second Uncle Li and his wife left, Xiang Yuan had been sitting at the square table in the main room waiting for Xiang Yao to come back. The grandfather clock at home struck twelve before she heard the movement at the door.From the sound of footsteps, it could be heard that Xiang Yao was not alone. She heard the men and women at the door laughing and saying goodbye, and then there was a sound of footsteps walking away, and she didn't even have the strength to open the door to see what happened.

Xiang Yao pushed the door open and came in, saw Xiang Yuan sitting at the table with a smile on his face, and after a while, he showed a little surprised expression, "Ah, you are back, by the way, what you said .I forgot, what should I do?"

Xiang Yuan pointed to the seat next to him, and motioned for her to sit over, "Of course it doesn't matter if you forget, just tell me where you came back so late."

"Oh, go to the video room in the village to watch DVDs with some friends." Xiang Yao said casually while pouring water.

"Friend? Apart from those bums in the village, who else would stay in that kind of place till midnight?"

"Whatever you say."

"I don't care about others, but look at what you look like. What's the difference between you and those bastards?" Xiang Yuan looked at Xiang Yao's strange clothes, and she began to regret that she had disciplined her little sister too little.

"Are you looking after me? You finally want to take care of me now? Let me tell you, I don't need you to take care of me." Xiang Yuan looked at Xiang Yuan provocatively.

Xiang Yuan was not angry, "Don't worry about it? It's ok, from the next minute I don't care about you, don't ask me for a penny, and then try it again. If you don't steal, grab or sell Under the circumstances, can you support yourself, or, your 'friends' will support you."

Seeing that Xiang Yao didn't speak, she continued, "I don't want to bother with you, but you have to take care of yourself. Don't make such troubles. If someone calls me, I will blush for you. Xiang Yao, Come here... I asked me to come here, did you hear me!"

Her voice wasn't too loud, but she splashed a few drops of water in Xiang Yao's cup, hesitated for a moment, and sat obediently across from Xiang Yuan.

"Xiang Yao, to be honest, do you think I have treated you badly?" Xiang Yuan said calmly.

Xiang Yao remained silent.

"You don't talk? Then let me continue to guess, are you short of money?"

Xiang Yao's face turned pale immediately, and he shook his head in a panic, Xiang Yuan said coldly, "You're only short of the ten yuan and 20 yuan pocket money? So short that you have to steal it in the school dormitory? If you don't have it, you can say it. I didn’t give it to you this time, huh?” She took out a handful of change from her clothes pocket, and threw it at Yao’s face without thinking, “Tell me, why did you steal it? Your grades are not good, you don’t like studying, no It's nothing more than thinking about making progress. I don't expect anything from you, I just ask you to be a down-to-earth person. In the end, you fooled around with those dubious people, and you were accused by the teacher of coming to me for petty theft at school. What do you want? What are you doing, talk, talk!"

Xiang Yao flinched, then gritted his teeth, "I just love money, so don't you!"

Xiang Yuan was trembling with anger, "At least every penny of my money is aboveboard, you compare with me?!"

"I can't compare to you, not even worthy of being your sister. You are better than me in everything. What you do is right, and what I do is wrong. You never liked me."

"You want to know why I don't like you? You're so disappointing!"

"In your heart, besides yourself, who else is fighting for you? Me, Dad, we are all parasites in your eyes, and we are redundant. By the way, your favorite is Xiang Yi, but he is dead. , so you hate me even more, you must be thinking, why wasn’t I the one who died in the pond that day.” Xiang Yao suddenly burst into tears, she is a beautiful girl who has inherited all the advantages of her parents’ facial features, Xiang Yi and her He looks very similar, if he is alive now, he should be a handsome young man.

Her words forced Xiang Yuan to think of the figure of her younger brother floating in the water, pale and swollen, Xiang Yi, her most caring little brother.Xiang Yuan felt that he was in so much pain that he couldn't breathe, his waist, and the upper part of his waist.If Xiang Yi was still alive, she wouldn't have to treat Xiang Yao well just because she was the only family member left in the world—yes, she also thought about why Xiang Yao wasn't the one who died.

"You don't have the right to mention Xiang Yi to me." Xiang Yuan said word by word.

"I don't want to mention him, but I can see him every day when I close my eyes. I just joked with him that day, pretending to be drowning and calling for help. How could I have imagined that he would really jump off? I want to save him, but the water suddenly became very cold, I was very scared, just watched him sink, and even the outstretched hand disappeared. We were all petrified, Zou Yun He was also petrified, originally he had a share in the idea, he was still laughing behind his back when Xiang Yi jumped into the water, but in the end he could only cry...Xiang Yuan, do you think I'm not sad that Xiang Yi died, he I have been with me since the second I existed, and I am willing to die for him, you will be happy if I die and he lives, but now I have no choice, no way, you know?"

Xiang Yuan seemed to be in a daze, and Xiang Yao's heart-piercing crying seemed to be separated from her by an invisible wall, only some voices came through, "My heart hurts too, it hurts, Do you know, do you know the pain..."

Does it hurt?Does it hurt?
She suddenly got up and slapped Xiang Yao, and then everything around her became quiet.

"You said you were in pain, and asked me if I knew. Let me tell you, I don't know! It's like this slap hit you, you are in pain, tsk tsk, half of your face is red, but I don't feel it at all, Really, you are the only one who is in pain. I just want to let you know that there is no empathy in the world. You feel that your heart and liver are torn bloody, and your intestines are broken. In fact, no one else can feel it at all. See You have a scary expression, sympathize for a while, and then you should be comfortable and happy, because you are you, I am me, he is him, our hearts and our flesh grow on each of us, ups and downs, ourselves Only you can understand what you taste. Don’t pin your hopes on others, don’t ask others to understand your feelings, it’s useless to shout loudly, don’t blame others for being cold-blooded, blame yourself for being unprepared.”

After Xiang Yuan finished speaking, she looked at Xiang Yao and shuddered. She took the cup from Xiang Yao's hand and threw it on the ground. , "If you continue like this, just like this cup, if it breaks, you should throw it away after sweeping, but everyone else is still fine. You'd better remember my words."

She walked towards the room, and when she moved her footsteps, she found that she couldn't even straighten her waist. Xiang Yao moved, as if she wanted to help her, but she didn't dare to walk over, she just murmured, "What's wrong with your waist."

Xiang Yuan sneered, "See, I'm the one with the pain in my back, do you feel it?"

She walked back to her room. She said too many things that night, some things she wanted to say a long time ago, and some things she shouldn't have said, but she said them all.After saying it, she actually felt more relaxed than any other day before, and those words might not only be addressed to Xiang Yao alone.

Before closing the door, she called out to Xiang Yao who was still in a daze, "Sweep the floor, pack up your things, and get ready to transfer."

(End of this chapter)