Shanyue doesn't know what's going on

Chapter 3
She said, Xiang Yuan, don't dream.

That night, Xiang Yuan didn't get what she wanted. She not only fell into a long dream, but also dreamed back many years ago.Every face in the dream, every sporadic fragment, was so vivid that many times, when she was awake, she tried hard to recall, but they might not reappear as vividly as in this dream.

It was the first day of October. The just-started Golden Week holiday made the small village where Xiang Yuan's hometown was located unprecedentedly lively. Countless people from the city flocked here, some from the provincial capital, some from outside the province, and some Looking at a few blond foreigners.Although it was earlier than March when rape blossoms bloomed everywhere, these tourists still took pictures with their cameras. The old locust tree at the entrance of the village, the old tile-roofed houses of the villagers, and the old man sitting in front of the house, they all felt fresh. .The footsteps of these people trampled down the weeds on the path, and trampled several households' vegetable plots into disrepair.But the people in the village didn't care about these things. In those few years, the unique scenery of this small village gradually became famous. The tourism industry brought business opportunities and opportunities to the originally closed village. With money, they became half-baked tour guides one after another, and small restaurants and small hotels in farmhouses bloomed everywhere.Of course, Xiang Yuan, the eldest daughter of the old Xiang family, was the first to think about this. Now, no one can match her job hunting skills, and her family's family hotel business is always the hottest.

So, of course, Xiang Yuan got up early this day. When she packed herself up and was about to go out, the sun was still hesitating from the side of the mountain, and Xiang Yao was still lying on the bed.Xiang Yuan yelled at the door: "You should get up and cook the food, maybe tourists will come in after a while."

After she finished speaking, she left in a hurry before she could see Xiang Yao's reaction.She knew that no matter what, Xiang Yao would still listen to her.

Sure enough, after a while, Xiang Yao grumbled, and despite being extremely sleepy, he still had to struggle to get up.She has just entered the sixth grade of elementary school, and this is the first day of vacation. Like all girls of this age, she hates getting up early and wishes to sleep in bed until the end of her life, but she has no choice but to listen to Xiang Yuan's words.

Xiang Yao has been afraid of Xiang Yuan since he was a child.Maybe it's because their mother died early, the elder sister was the mother, Xiang Yuan was flexible and courageous in dealing with things since he was a child, and he was the pillar of the family early on.Their father, Xiang Yunsheng, was an educated youth in the city in his early years. Later, he married a girl from the village and gave birth to a child, so he was willing to put down roots here.

Xiang Yunsheng was a man of many talents when he was young. He had read a lot of books, could write good handwriting, and could play the erhu. With his good looks, he attracted many girls from the village and finally became his wife. Xiang Yuan Xiangyao's mother is a beautiful and dexterous woman who is known far and near.After marriage, Xiang Yunsheng and his wife hit it off, only envying mandarin ducks but not immortals. Knowing that his wife would not be able to get a place in the city, he gave up his chance to return to the city and volunteered to be a lifelong mud leg.This once became a good story in the village, and Xiang Yao also yearned for his parents' feelings, and perhaps only Xiang Yuan didn't take it seriously.

From Xiang Yuan's point of view, his father, Xiang Yunsheng, couldn't lift his shoulders or hands, and even had to shake a load of water every step of the way. When his mother was still there, the house was run by the mistress inside and out.Because the family has a small labor force and there are not many things that can be dug out of the field, when Xiang Yuan was a child, their family was always the poorest in the village. She will always remember that at dusk, it was the mother who just gave birth to a pair of twin brothers and sisters. , carried water from the ground with a white face, and the splashed water was sprinkled all the way, while Xiang Yunsheng sat under the tree in front of his house and "babbled" and played the erhu. His closed eyes and intoxicated expression made Xiao Xiangyuan Extremely resentful, she wished she could grow up immediately, with strength all over her body, so that she could take over the burden on her mother's shoulders—and throw away that annoying erhu.

However, no matter how thunderous my mother was, the look in her eyes when she looked at the man at the door was clearly intoxicated.

Xiang Yuan couldn't understand that intoxication.

Since she was a child, she felt that her father was a useless person who only knew how to make love. This kind of thinking was even more deeply rooted when she was ten years old and Xiang Yaoxiang was four years old. Her mother was ill and finally let go.She firmly believed that her mother would not have left so early if life had not been so difficult, and when her mother was ill, the man could do nothing but hold his wife's hand and cry bitterly.It was just a pneumonia complicated by a cold. Because I had no money to go to the hospital, I just dragged it at home. This moderate illness killed a woman under the age of 30, and it also caused them to lose their mother.

In the few years after his wife died, Xiang Yunsheng couldn't recover from the grief of losing his wife. His erhu voice became more and more sad and moving, and he drank more and more alcohol.At that time, the elders in the village also offered him a matchmaker, but he sneered and refused without hesitation.Everyone praised him as an infatuated person, but life at home was even more difficult.Xiang Yunsheng always told his children that there is a golden house in the book, and there is Yan Ruyu in the book, but he never considered where the money for his children's schooling came from, and what to do if the family couldn't get rid of the pot.Ten-year-old Xiang Yuan often took her younger brother Xiang Yi to borrow money and rice from acquainted neighbors. Xiang Yao was thin-skinned since she was a child. Like Xiang Yunsheng, she was unwilling to do such things. Only Xiang Yi, He has been with his eldest sister since he was a child, and wherever Xiang Yuan went, he followed him. The villagers saw them as pitiful, plus Xiang Yuan was sensible and clever, and Xiang Yi was well-behaved and obedient. Wealthy, always willing to help some.

The best thing for their family is the aunt of the Zou family who lives at the end of the village. After their mother is gone, the clothes on Xiang Yuan's siblings are all sewed and mended by the aunt of the Zou family.Xiang Yuan has also heard some gossip. People with good things in the village say that Aunt Zou's family fell in love with Xiang Yunsheng when she was not married. Another educated youth surnamed Ye gave birth to a son, and the educated youth surnamed Ye returned to the city. Before leaving, the other party proposed a divorce hesitantly, and she agreed without embarrassment.Not long after, she remarried with her son. Her husband's surname was Zou, and they had a son together.A few years later, her ex-husband in the city took away her eldest son, and she continued to live with her later husband and younger son, but her concern for Xiang Yuan's siblings remained unchanged.

Xiang Yuan understood the meaning of those rumors to some extent, but she didn't care about them. In her opinion, those pretentious rumors were as illusory as feelings, but Aunt Zou's kindness to them was real.She didn't even want to believe that the kind and capable Aunt Zou helped her family, not because she was in love with her useless father, but because she believed in Buddhism.Xiang Yuan doesn't believe in Buddhism, but she has an inexplicable affection for those who believe in Buddhism. Only she knows why.

In this way, relying on the support of his neighbors, Xiang Yuan spent his childhood with difficulty, and fortunately he also went to school—many girls in the village did not go to school.The only thing Xiang Yuan wanted to thank was his father. Although he had no money, he didn't have patriarchal ideas.

From the age when she was able to go to the fields, Xiang Yuan was the main farmer in the family, but after all, she was young and a girl, so what she could do was limited. More and more, she was the first to hit the idea of ​​making money from tourists.In the second year of junior high school, she led the people in the city to walk around the back mountain, earning the first ten yuan in her life, and couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, and it has been out of control ever since.

At first, people in the village thought it strange, saying that this was not doing their job properly, but seeing that more people came here and Xiang Yuan was earning more and more money, they started to follow suit from envy. The "tourism" of the whole small village has intensified in recent years. momentum.

During this process, Xiang Yunsheng has always held an attitude of disapproval. He doesn't like his daughter doing those "speculative" and "flying money" things, and he doesn't like nodding and bowing to those city people for a few dollars.But he can't control this daughter, not to mention that this daughter has not been close to him since childhood, from the day Xiang Yuan was able to earn income for this family, in fact, she is the head of the family. It was she who made it difficult for her younger siblings to go to school so that the family no longer had to rely on financial aid.As the so-called "economic base determines the superstructure", it can also be vividly reflected in small farms.

The tourists who come and go make the life of Xiangyuan's family better and better, and she believes it will be even better. As for how "better" it can be, she can't imagine, but, just like the "far away" in her name The meaning of the word is the same, her heart is also far away, how can a person like her be confined to this small village for the rest of her life, she will spread her wings and fly high, fly out of this small village, and fly to a greater world... Fly to The person she misses being around.

However, just when everything was getting better and better, when Xiang Yuan was 16 years old, she lost her dearest brother Xiang Yi.

One evening, Xiang Yi took the old yellow dog at home to the pheasant pool in the village to greet his twin sister Xiang Yao, who was playing by the pool, to go home for dinner, and he never came back. Two days later, his body floated in the The center of the pool, full of water, swelled up like an inflated dummy.

This is the second time that Xiang Yuan has lost his beloved after the loss of his mother. He was the one who clings to her the most since he was a child, the most obedient and sensible one, and the one who likes to childishly lengthen the ending sound when he calls "sister". In this way, he became a "dummy" who could not move.

When Xiang Yi was salvaged by the pool, Xiang Yunsheng beat his chest and cried bitterly. Xiang Yao was sick at home, but Xiang Yuan didn't cry. At the age of 16, she buried Xiang Yi in an orderly manner with the help of the villagers.At night, regardless of Xiang Yunsheng's obstruction and Xiang Yao's crying, she burned all of Xiang Yi's clothes and a few photos. She died, so why keep these things.

At night, she climbed to the top of the back mountain alone, stood on the highest point of the mountain and looked at the other side of the mountain, only seeing the bright yellow moon.Outside the village is the township, outside the township is the town, what does the world outside the town look like?Will the moon be as big and lonely as the round in the mountains?Xiang Yi's biggest wish is to go outside the mountain to take a look when he grows up. He always makes trouble with Xiang Yuan and asks his sister to take him there. This is often the only time he gets angry with his sister.In fact, the farthest place Xiang Yuan went to was only a town ten miles away at that time, and she didn't even know how much it would cost to go outside the mountain by car, so she put on a straight face at Xiang Yi, that well-behaved child thought she was Angry, always silent.

She thought that all she needed was time, and when she grew wings, she would take her relatives to see the splendor of the outside world.But why did it become like this?Xiang Yuan didn't understand that life would get better and better, and she would definitely have more and more money, but why did the people she loved leave one by one?

At that time, she still didn't understand that even if she was Xiang Yuan, there were still too many things in this world that she could not control.

After Xiang Yi's death, life would go on, Xiang Yunsheng became more and more drunk, but Xiang Yao began to be more and more afraid of Xiang Yuan - she knew in her heart that if Xiang Yi hadn't jumped into the pool to save her with cramp legs , then the person who can't come back should be herself.Xiang Yuan didn't say a word about this matter, but from the look in her sister's eyes, Xiang Yao guessed that she knew everything.Xiang Yuan's pain was so much better than Xiang Yuan's twin sister.On the day Xiang Yi was buried, she called Xiang Yuan, "Sister".Xiang Yuan seemed to have never heard of it, and from that day on, Xiang Yao no longer dared to call Xiang Yuan's sister, although this sister still took care of her life meticulously.

People say that good fortune never comes without double, and misfortune never comes singly, which may not be unreasonable. At the age of 17, Xiang Yuan was admitted to the best high school in the town. Before he could be happy, he heard the news of his father's death on the way home.Xiang Yunsheng heard that his daughter was admitted to a good school, and while he was happy, he took the few money in his hand and went to the village to buy wine and drink. Unexpectedly, when he came back, when he walked across the suspension bridge that must be passed at the entrance of the village, the young man The long-disrepair suspension bridge was broken in two, and he fell down the cliff along the old broken bridge. When people found his body, there was a female corpse beside him, which was Aunt Zou's family.

No one knows whether it was a coincidence that they appeared on the bridge at the same time. What happened to them and what they said in the end has also become a mystery forever with the death of the parties involved.Aunt Zou's family believed in Buddhism all her life, but burning incense and worshiping Buddha day and night did not let her avoid unexpected disasters—perhaps, this ending is another way for the Buddha to bless her.In short, the dead are at ease, the living are restless, and all speculation is no longer important.

After his father was buried, Xiang Yuan shivered because of his proficiency in handling this matter.She looked down on her father. Many times when he was alive, she thought he was a waste and a burden, but after learning of his death, she couldn't recover for a long time. Blood relationship is an incredible thing. She asked herself, did she really hate this thing so much? The one who gave her half her life?Xiang Yao cried like a tearful person, Xiang Yuan wanted to pat her on the shoulder, but he couldn't reach out his hand no matter what.Xiang Yao looked at her with straight eyes, as if to say, "Didn't you always hope that he would die, now it's all right."

Yes, it's all right now, it's clean now.She felt like there was a hole in her heart, and the wind passed through it, echoing endlessly... Who in this world wouldn't leave?What you love and hate, including yourself, will go away. Nothing can stay with you forever. If you lose a lot, you will get used to it, but Xiang Yuan is suddenly very afraid of such a habit. She is afraid of the person in her heart. The void, what would it take to fill it?Always have to find something to fill it up.miss?The only thoughts she pinned on in the distance are too vague. If she can't find anything else, then there is only money, a lot of money. Yes, she must make a lot of money, so that money can be held in her hands.

I don't know when, Xiang Yuan developed the habit of counting money every night. Of course, she would count all the remaining money carefully before going to bed, and then count them one by one, flattening the banknotes. Wrapping every crease in kraft paper, in the process, she always carried a kind of religious devotion, that is, at this time, she couldn't hear the sound of the wind whistling in the hole in her heart .

(End of this chapter)