Carnegie Language Breakthroughs and the Art of Communication

Chapter 20 Different categories of speech concepts (4)
We sat around a lunch table in Chicago.We had heard the name of the man, and heard that he was a thunderous speaker.When he stood up to speak, everyone stared at him intently.

He began his speech serenely (he was a neat, urbane middle-aged man).He first thanked us for the invitation, he said he wanted to talk about a serious matter, please forgive us if he disturbs us.

Then, he blew up like a tornado.He leaned forward, his eyes fixed on us.He didn't raise his voice, but it sounded to me like a gong.

"Look around you," he said, "and look at each other. Do you know how many people sitting in this room are going to die of cancer? 55 in 4 people over the age of 1." 4 in 1 people!"

He paused, his face brightening. "It's a normal, serious thing, but it's not going to last," he said. "We can find a way, and that way is to find improved cancer treatments and study what causes it."

He looked at us solemnly, moving his eyes around the table one by one. "Would you like to assist in the effort toward progress?"

In our minds, is there any other answer besides "yes" at this time?Others feel the same way I do.

In less than a minute, Maurice Gaubly won our hearts.He has drawn each of us into his discourse, he has engaged us on his side in his campaign for the happiness of mankind.

No matter when and where, getting the audience's approval response is the goal of every speaker.Mr. Goblet has excellent reasons for our reaction.He and his brother, Nathan, started from scratch and achieved a chain department store sales business with an annual income of more than 1 million US dollars.After years of hardship, they finally achieved a fabulous achievement, only to be ill for a short time before Nathan passed away from cancer.Afterwards, Maurice deliberately arranged for the Goldberry Foundation to donate the first 100 million US dollars to the Cancer Research Program of the University of Chicago, and to devote his time - he has retired from shopping malls and devoted himself to the fight against cancer. focus on.

These facts, combined with Gaubly's personality, won our hearts.Sincerity, earnestness, devotion—it was the fire of determination that led him to give himself to us for a few minutes, as he had dedicated himself to a great purpose for years and years.All these factors sweep us over us with a feeling of agreement with the speaker, a friendship with him, a willingness, a willingness to be moved.

1. Win confidence with sincerity

The ancient Roman rhetorician Quintilian called an orator "a good man who is good at speaking", and he was talking about sincerity and character.Nothing that has been said and will be said in this book can take the place of this necessary quality.Pierpon Morgan once said that character is the best way to gain trust, and it is also the best way to gain the trust of your audience.

"The sincerity with which a man speaks," said Alexander Woockert, "gives to his voice a brilliance of truth which no affectation can give."

When the purpose of our conversation is to persuade, it is especially necessary to express our ideas with an unwavering inner light.We must allow ourselves to be persuaded before we can try to persuade others.

2. Ways to get approval from the audience
Walter Scott, the former president of Northwestern University, said: "A new idea, concept or conclusion is often regarded as the truth when it is first proposed, unless it is hindered by an opposing concept." This sentence illustrates our How should you make the audience identify with you?My good friend, Dr. Harry Ovich, gave a talk at the New York School of Social Research on the psychological background of this statement: People who are skilled in speaking get a lot of "yes" responses from the audience at the beginning.This can lead the other party into a certain direction.Just like a billiard ball, you originally hit one direction, but as long as there is a slight deviation, when the ball hits back, it will be completely opposite to the direction you expected.

Here the manner in which the mind is transformed can be clearly seen.When a person really says "no", he is not just saying "no", all the tissues in his body - endocrine glands, nerves, muscles, will enter a state of rejection.But if he says "yes", these denial states disappear, and the whole body's organization takes on an attitude of openness and acceptance.Therefore, the more "yes" responses we can get at the beginning of the conversation, the more likely we are to get the other person to buy into your entire point of view.

Getting a "yes" response from your audience is a simple technique that most people overlook.Some people may think that putting forward their own opposing opinions at the beginning can show their importance and assertiveness.In fact, what good does it do?If you just want some bickering fun, maybe you can, but if you want to achieve something, it's foolish to do so.

Whether it is a student, a customer, a child, a husband or a wife, once you start saying "no", it is difficult for even a wise angel to turn the tide.

So, how to get the audience's approval reaction at the beginning of the conversation?Very simple.Lincoln once said, "My method is, first you have to find a point of reference that everyone can agree on." Lincoln found that this method was still effective even when discussing the extremely sensitive issue of slavery.In a report describing Lincoln's conversation, it is said: "For the first half hour, his opponent agreed with every word he said. direction, and it is entirely within his grasp."

So, disagreeing with your audience will only induce their stubborn personality and start to defend themselves. Once you do this, it will be difficult to change their minds.If you start by saying, "I'm going to prove this or that," the audience resents it and says, "Let's see."

Wouldn't it be more advantageous if you began by emphasizing the facts that both you and your audience believe, and then gradually asked appropriate questions that everyone would be willing to answer?Lead your audience to answer these questions, and work with them to find the answers. In the process of jointly seeking answers, let them unconsciously accept your conclusions, so that they will have more confidence in the facts you present. "The best way to argue is to look like an exposition."

In many debates, no matter how different the parties may be, there is usually a point of reference on which both sides agree.For example, on February 1960, 2, British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan delivered a speech to the Parliament of the Union of South Africa.At that time, South Africa was still implementing the apartheid policy, so Prime Minister Macmillan expressed Britain's views on racial policy in South Africa's Legislative Yuan.Was he opposed to such a policy from the start?No.He began by emphasizing South Africa's many achievements economically, its contributions to the rest of the world, and so on.Then the question is skillfully brought to a different point of view.Even so, he keeps saying that these points of difference are based on beliefs that differ from each other.The following is an excerpt of his speech.

As a citizen of the Kingdom of Great Britain, we would like to extend our support and encouragement to South Africa.But with all due respect, you have many policies that make it difficult for us to support and encourage you.In our land we have always striven for equality of political status.I know that instead of taking credit or blaming each other, we should treat each other as friends.The truth is, in today's world, we still have many differences of opinion from each other.

However much your opinion differs from the speaker's, the above statement, because of the impartiality displayed by the speaker, should have a good chance of getting you to accept his point of view.

What would have happened if Prime Minister Macmillan had emphasized the differences from the start instead of looking for common ground?In his book Mind in the Making, James Robinson offers a psychological answer to this question:
Sometimes we find that we can change our thinking without difficulty.But if others come to us and tell us we are wrong, we must rise up and show our indignation, and strengthen our resolve.

With many beliefs we do not really pay much attention to their form or organization.But if someone is trying to change or destroy, we can find ourselves passionate about these beliefs.Obviously, it is not the content of these beliefs that attracts us so much, but our self-esteem cannot be hurt... The word "my" is the most important word in human affairs, and it may also be the origin of human wisdom.Whether you're talking about "my" dinner, "my" dog, "my" house, or "my" father, "my" country, "my" God, etc., these two words have equal power.Not only do people point out that our watches are out of order, or our cars are old and unseemly, etc., but even certain ideas, such as lines on Mars, the pronunciation of a certain word, or the efficacy of salicylic acid, etc. , if someone points out that "my" views are wrong, it will also arouse my indignation.We like to believe things we take for granted, and if someone questions these beliefs, not only will it cause discomfort, but we will find all kinds of reasons to maintain our inherent beliefs.

3. Tell it with infectious enthusiasm

If the speaker presents his ideas more emotionally and conveys his enthusiasm to the audience, it will usually not arouse opposing views.That's what I mean by "contagious enthusiasm."This zeal puts aside all negative and opposing ideas.If your goal is to persuade your audience, remember that encouraging emotions is far more useful than provoking thought.Emotions are more powerful than calm thoughts.To arouse the emotions of the crowd, the speaker must convey his enthusiasm to the audience.Whether or not what he says is fictitious, whether or not his content is cobbled together, whether or not his voice and gestures are well used, if he is not sincere, everything will appear empty and empty.If you want to make a good impression on your audience, you must first make a good impression on others.Your spirit will shine through your eyes, express your passion through your voice, and express yourself through your actions, communicating directly with your audience.

Every time you speak, and the purpose is to persuade the other party, all your performance will affect the attitude of the other party.If you don't show up, your audience won't either; if you're casual or intolerant, neither will your audience.Henry Ward Beecher once said: "If a believer falls asleep while listening to a sermon, there is only one thing to do-give the church administrator a sharp wooden stick, and ask him to poke the preacher immediately. A note."

I was invited to Columbia University to present a medal in a speech contest.There were 3 referees including me that day.There were about six or seven college students participating in the competition, and everyone was well trained and ready to perform well that day.The fly in the ointment is that they put all their energy into winning that medal, but neglected to really convince the audience.

The topics they choose are obviously not of personal interest, but based on the play of presentation skills.A series of conversations is thus no more than an exercise in the art of oratory.

The only exception was a prince from Zulu.The topic of his speech was "Africa's Contribution to Modern Civilization".Every word he spoke was filled with intense emotion, not just a drill of oratorical technique.What he said were living facts, entirely from the conviction and enthusiasm in his heart, as if he had become a representative of the Zulu people, speaking for his own land.With his wisdom, his nobility and his goodwill, he communicated to us the hope of the people of that land and begged for our understanding.

We awarded him the medal.Although he could not compare with two or three other people in oratory skills, his conversation was full of sincerity and burned with a real fire.Compared with this, other people's speeches are like the faint flame of a gas stove.

4. Show respect and love to your audience
Dr. Norman Vincent Peale once said:

All human beings have one thing in common: they need to be loved and respected by others.Everyone has a sense of value deep in their hearts. They want to be valued and maintain their dignity.If you harm these qualities, you lose the person forever.So if you treat a person with your own love and respect, not only will he grow strong, but he will love and respect you in return.

Once, I was on a show with an entertainer.I didn't know the showbiz person very well, but since being on that show, I knew he was difficult and why.

I sat quietly next to him that day, waiting for the moment to speak. "You're nervous, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yeah!" I replied. "Every time I stand up and give a speech, I get a little nervous for the first few minutes. I respect every audience and try not to disappoint them, so I get nervous. Don't you ?"

"Nothing to be nervous about," he replied. "It's easy for the audience to fall in love with stuff. They're just a bunch of chumps!"

"I don't think so," I said. "They are your supreme referees, and I respect each and every one of them."

Later, Dr. Peale heard that the man's reputation was fading.He knew that it was due to the attitude of the person himself.

What a salutary warning to a man who is about to begin speaking!
5. Start on a friendly note

An atheist asked William Perry to admit that there is nothing supernatural in the universe.Without saying a word, Perry took out the pocket watch he was wearing, opened the box, and said: "If I tell you that these levers, gears and springs are all formed by themselves, and they are assembled by themselves. You'd think I'm crazy. Now look at the stars, each of them in a certain orbit -- satellites and planets orbiting the star at speeds of over a million miles a day. Every star has A group of stars surrounding it form a galaxy by itself, just like our solar system. They move so regularly that they will not collide with each other, hinder each other, and will not go to the wrong place. Everything is so quiet and peaceful. Order, efficiency. Do you prefer to believe that these exist by chance, or that there is a supernatural force that makes them so?"

What do you think would happen if Mr. Perry rebutted the atheist at the outset with words like, "What, there's no God? Don't be stupid like a donkey. Do you know what you're talking about?"There is no doubt that it is another verbal confrontation, which is both violent and ineffective.The atheist will, like a raging wild cat, lash out with vicious words, trying to defend his position.why?Because, as Professor Ovich points out: that is "his" claim.His precious and absolutely necessary self-esteem was wounded, his dignity was at stake.

Dignity is a highly explosive quality in human nature.So, wouldn't it be better if we could make this trait work with us than against us?But how?As Professor Perry said, show your opponent that your opinion is similar to some of his beliefs, and he will not reject your opinion.This method generally does not cause opposing emotions and opinions from the other party.

Professor Perry has a good understanding of the workings of the human mind.Ordinary people usually lack this sensitivity, making it difficult to enter the opponent's defensive base.Ordinary people usually have a misconception that in order to enter that base, they must launch a frontal attack and violently destroy that base.But what happened?The other party will start to develop hostility, and the mind will start to close and block.Then the armored samurai draws his sword - and a battle of words ensues, leaving both sides bruised.The result is usually a lose-lose situation, and no one can convince the other.

(End of this chapter)