Ji Liangchuan, I have loved you for so many years

Chapter 67
When I got home at twelve o'clock in the evening, I washed off the heavy makeup on my face as usual, took a shower and sat in the living room waiting for him to come home.At one o'clock in the evening, he finally appeared at the gate reeking of alcohol.When I saw the thing in his hand, my heart suddenly turned cold, and the blood in my whole body seemed to freeze into frost, and then seemed to burst out.

I stepped over, with voices of anger and grievance, and those words hit him head and face: "Ji Liangchuan! I can bear the money you spend on cigarettes and alcohol every day. I know you are under a lot of pressure, but can you please?" Don't just spend money on useless things? Do you know what I got the money for?!"

I snatched the beautifully wrapped paper bag from his hand and threw it on the ground angrily. Before he could speak, I turned around and ran out. Before he could turn around and grab me, I had already fled here.On a cold night, I was running alone on the street in thin pajamas, but the cold air was not enough to submerge my heart, because that heart was already frozen.

I ran to Hongdou's house crying.Hongdou looked at me without saying a word, just saying "it's okay, it's okay" over and over again, and everything will be fine.I hid in her arms and cried until my voice was choked up. I always thought that we would be fine and we would be happy forever, but fate just didn't allow it.Our marriage is obviously so happy, but we just can't grow old forever. We recklessly gave up the rich and powerful and chose to stay together, but the problems between the two of us came one after another.I really began to doubt whether the original choice and persistence were right or wrong.

During the day, I woke up in the bedroom of Hongdou's house in a trance. When I woke up, I found that the pillow towel was wet, and the heart-wrenching pain rushed all over my body.Every night I give up all my restraint on the stage, laugh and sing, and drink with the bosses, they touch my face and my legs, but I still choose to be patient, because I want to make money and earn living expenses , so that our survival will not be so difficult.But he, with the money I sold my dignity to buy luxury goods, I smiled wryly, tasting the taste of the tears that flowed down, salty and astringent.

I called Han Jiali, asked for leave, and sat on the bed in the bedroom all day without eating or drinking.In the evening, when the night was spreading, it was snowing sporadically outside, and the frost flowers were flying gracefully, turning out graceful arcs one after another, and then gently sticking to the glass, gradually forming a retro and exquisite pattern .In the middle of the night, the snow was getting heavier and heavier, the wind roared, and the glass was shaken wantonly, making heavy noises. There was already a layer of crystal clear snow on the ground, shining under the moonlight, and in an instant, it was icy again. The cold wind blew away, and the pale wind and snow wove a huge net between the sky and the earth, wrapped the lights of thousands of houses, and made the heart-warming orange lights fade for a while. At this time, the outside was noisy and desolate.

I got dressed, and when I walked out, Hongdou stopped me: "Where are you going so late? The snow outside is getting bigger and bigger."

"I'll go back and get some things and come back. I left in a hurry yesterday and didn't bring anything."

I stood on the road facing the wind and snow and waited for a long time without stopping a taxi. In desperation, I could only walk home with mixed feelings in my heart. I felt sorry for him, worried about him, but still hated him.

When he got home, he was not at home.I walked into the bedroom, took out some thick clothes and began to pack them up. Suddenly, my eyes caught the bag on the table, which was something he bought yesterday.When I opened it unconsciously to look at it, my tears burst into a river at that moment, and I knelt down on the ground with a "plop", and the sharp pain in my knee was not as good as the pain in my heart.I shed tears like crazy, and shouted his name loudly in the silent room, time and time again, unforgettable.

What was in that exquisite bag was Annalie’s new album that I stopped at the window to watch for a long time when we were shopping a few months ago, and there was a note on it with his strong handwriting: For Mengmeng.

I rushed out without even changing my shoes, letting the cold wind scrape my cheek like a blade, leaving a deep pain.Tears dripped on the snow and melted a small snowflake.I run like crazy, I don't know where he is, he never tells me where he works, so I can only look around like a madman, desperately calling his name in the deserted streets, his name When I shouted from my mouth, it fell to the ground like snowflakes and gradually melted, but the traces remained in my heart, and it was so painful.

The pale mist filled one piece, I couldn't run anymore, and gradually narrowed my eyes, feeling dizzy for a while.I walked like a lost soul, looking at the figures on the street, scattered, but there was no one I was looking for.Only then did I think of someone, and I immediately took out my mobile phone and called Xue Kai. As soon as the other side answered, I immediately asked, "Xue Kai, is Ji Liangchuan in your company? Where is it?"

Xue Kai just sighed, and told me the address in a low voice. After I heard the address, I hurried there.

At night, only a few lights in a building were still on, and Xue Kai was waiting for me at the entrance of the company with a pocket in his pocket and a plastic bag in his hand, which seemed to contain lunch.As soon as he saw me, he said, "Wait a minute, you have to understand Liangchuan's current situation before going upstairs to see him."

I didn't know what it meant, so I just stood there blankly at the door without saying a word.

Xue Kai pulled me into the lobby of the company, and slowly said to me: "You know that the current company is afraid to hire him, for fear of getting himself into trouble, and we always give him a job because of my relationship, but It is impossible for him to be an executive like he used to be, and any company that recruits new people will not just give him the position of general manager, so...he can only endure the current working mode. His ability is why I entrust all the work to him..."

I already felt powerless, so I just asked Xue Kai: "Did he... Always forget to take care of himself?"

Xue Kai walked forward and said: "I'll take you up to see him, but you'd better not let him find you, you know his character, I bought him dinner, you don't have to worry."

I got on the elevator with a heart full of uneasiness, and when I reached the floor, I saw him lying on the floor outside the transparent glass window, sleeping peacefully, breathing evenly.I don't know how many hours he makes himself work every day to make money to support me, and I don't know whether he eats on time. I only know that he is definitely not healthy and complete now.

"Do you know how humiliating it is for him to start from the grassroots? But he has to be patient, he told me...he will start over with his own strength and give you a good life..." Xue Kai's voice It's like a spell in my ears, just a single note can break my heart.

I suddenly lost the strength of my whole body, squatting in front of the glass window, my heart seemed to be torn into countless pieces by countless beasts, and scattered in this icy winter with fuzzy flesh and blood.The man who fell asleep on the table turned out to be him, how could it be him, he is the person I love deeply, the man who once leaned on the side of the BMW and smiled at me in the sunshine, he was so He was so proud, but now he was tortured by life into this appearance.

The pain was so painful that I forgot how to shed my tears. I stretched out my stiff fingers and slammed it hard on my left chest, and the blockage feeling was entangled in the heart.I smashed hard so that my heart could be shattered in an instant, stripping my flesh and body.

I really want to rush over and hug him tightly, hug him desperately, wrap him in my arms, and stop letting any grievances and pain invade his body.But, I can't, I can't, because I want to give my lover dignity.

I forgot how I got back to Hongdou's house, the moment I opened the door, the soreness choked in my chest broke out instantly with the smell of blood.I grabbed Hongdou's neckline tightly, and finally burst into tears: "Hongdou, I'm sorry for him...he is so proud, he is the general manager, how can he start from scratch? How can he want nothing for me...he He doesn't want anything anymore, he doesn't even want his self-esteem, he would rather choose to start from the beginning and work hard alone... Do you know that he lost a lot of weight for me... But... But... I quarreled with him, I complained that he didn't Accompany me...I think he spends money casually...I..."

My throat was choked up, looking at Hongdou's eyes that became more and more crystal clear, suddenly her face became blurred in my sight, and I was dizzy for a while, I finally closed my eyes and passed out on the ground.

When I woke up, my head was groggy, and there was a large pain in my chest, as if the skin had been cut by a blade, and the heart was pulled out, so clear pain.

When I opened my eyes, Hongdou was sitting next to me with two lines of tears on her face. She looked at me distressedly and whispered: "You have a fever, take a good rest."

Before I could speak, my tears flowed down first, and I could only painfully call a person's name over and over again.

"I've already called to tell him you're here, but I didn't tell him about your fever because I was afraid he might be worried."

"I miss him...I miss him so much..."

"Don't go to work today, just rest here with me."

I stabilized my emotions, nodded with difficulty and said, "Hongdou, I want to go back and see him..."

"Go back after you recover from your illness... It's already very difficult for him, don't worry him anymore, be obedient."

Tears welled up even more violently. I clutched the pillow cover tightly and nodded desperately.

When I was at Hongdou's house, I secretly called Lily and asked for a few days off when Hongdou was away. After that, I became groggy for no reason, waking up and sleeping, sleeping and waking up again, After several days of being in a daze, my whole body was hot as if it had been ironed by a flame, and every inch of my skin was burning.In my dream, I dreamed again and again of Ji Liangchuan's smile, his melancholy, and his thin face. I don't know how many nights, he worked overtime alone until late at night, forgot to put on his clothes, and fell asleep on the table because of exhaustion , and everything he did and paid for was for me.I don't know if I woke up or fell asleep, but I vaguely felt that I was crying, crying until my chest hurt, and I started to rise and fall violently.

It took a few days for the fever to subside before I fully woke up. I lay in bed for nearly a week. When I got up, I felt severe pain and weakness all over my body.Supporting my crumbling body, I groped out the door, and Hong Dou immediately greeted me: "Hey! You are just right, get dressed and get out of bed!"

"I want to see him."

"You put on your clothes and eat breakfast, and I'll take you there."

At ten o'clock in the morning, Hongdou was worried about me and drove me to the door of the house before leaving.I ran up and pushed the door recklessly, just in time to bump into him who was about to go out.His pupils glowed deeply, and he looked at me with confusion and melancholy, hesitating to speak.I smiled and shed tears, threw myself into his arms, raised my head, put my arms around his neck, and kissed his lips fiercely.He froze suddenly, his hands stayed in the air for a long time, as if hesitating, and finally he hugged me with all his strength.We don't speak anymore, just meet each other's kiss.He pushed his tongue between my lips and teeth, sucking it back and forth, as if he wanted to plunder everything, and swept it fiercely.After we kissed for a long time, I still murmured against his hot lips: "Liangchuan, I love you."

"Me too."

We sat on the couch, hugging each other.I gently touched his thin face, feeling sad for a while, but I couldn't say it out.I know his pride, how much he doesn't want me to know that he is doing a job that doesn't fit his status for me, so I can only pretend to smile.

Just when I thought the days were gradually returning to calm, Du Xiaohang appeared in my sight again.When I came out from Midnight Flower at night, Du Xiaohang's car was parked on the side of the street, and there was a girl in the car.I suddenly felt that the girl looked familiar, but I didn't bother to think about who it was.He got out of the car and walked towards me slowly, with an indifference on his face that I couldn't read.

"My patience has a limit. As I said before, if you don't choose the first path, I will tell Ji Liangchuan everything."

"Can you stop doing this? I don't want him to know..." My tone was almost begging.

He didn't speak, just looked at me narrowly.At this time, the girl sitting in the car came down, glanced at me and nodded with a smile as a greeting.It was only then that I remembered that this girl was Chen Yajie, a colleague of Du Xiaohang who had been to the hospital to see her.

"Go back by yourself, I have something to do." Du Xiaohang said coldly to Chen Yajie.

"Xiaohang, I'm really not a bad woman, can you trust me?"

"Please leave immediately."

The girl turned pale instantly, stared blankly, looked at me, and left alone.

"What bad woman?" I couldn't help asking.

"You don't have to worry about it, I'll ask you one last time, do you want to leave him?"

"No." I had no choice.

"Okay, then don't blame me." He turned his head and got into the car, driving out of my sight.My flustered heart was pounding, but there was nothing I could do to change it.

When a gust of cold wind blew across my face, I suddenly panicked and stopped a taxi on the road like crazy. My mind went blank. I could only hold on to the hem of my clothes and bite my lip tightly.

When I got downstairs, Du Xiaohang's car stopped there, and my heart suddenly became cold, I knew that everything was over.When I walked slowly into the door, Ji Liangchuan and Du Xiaohang stood in front of me, silently looking at me quietly.Through the moonlight and the faint silver light, I saw that their expressions were all equally cold.

"...Shen Meng, is what he said true?" Ji Liangchuan looked at me with a smile, that smile was like a flying bird in the sky, with a shrill cry, it instantly cut a huge wound in the sky.

I can only be silent, because besides being silent, I don't know what else I can do.

He stopped talking, and I didn't dare to look at him anymore.

"Ji Liangchuan, you have to understand your own situation. The current you cannot give her happiness." Du Xiaohang said slowly with a contemptuous tone.

"You don't need to take care of the things between us."

"Why can't I care? You love her, and I love her too, and it's no less than you."

"Hey, but she doesn't love you." Ji Liangchuan raised his head, a faint smile curled up on the corner of his mouth.

"Ji Liangchuan! You don't need to provoke me with words! Why are you with her? She has to live frugally with you, and she has to live in such a small place. She is forced to go to such a place as a Song girl, is this the life you gave her?" Du Xiaohang suddenly became excited.I know that what he said is the resentment in his heart.

Ji Liangchuan was silent, but his eyes became colder.

"Speechless? I can tell you, I can give you anything you can't give her now."

"Please go back, only her, I will not give up no matter what."

My eyes widened, tears still lingering in the corners of my eyes.Ji Liangchuan looked straight at Du Xiaohang with firm eyes, but Du Xiaohang smiled: "Okay, let's see how long you can hold on."

After speaking, he turned and left.The room became silent in an instant, the clock in the living room was ticking, but I could only hear my gradually disordered breathing.

Just as I was about to explain, he suddenly stepped over, pinching my shoulders with both hands, and the flames of anger burst into hot flames in his pupils, as if to burn everything in me: "You How could you betray me!"

"I do not have!"

"You actually went...to be a singer in that kind of place! You are crazy!"

"I'm going to be a singer! But I didn't betray you!" I looked at him firmly, but I didn't see trust in his eyes.

"I do not believe!"

"Why! Why don't you and Xiaotu believe me!"

"Don't mention him to me! In the year I separated from you, who knows what you all did!"

"you!"

(End of this chapter)