Nongmenfu girl's daily life

Chapter 634 Let Me Redeem With The Rest Of My Life

Gu Shiro frowned in pain, the blood on his face faded, he was pale and haggard, he stretched out his hands to hold his head, there was uncontrollable pain in his eyes, and his eyes were sad.

Self-blame, remorse, guilt... came to my heart, as if a hand was tightly grasping the heart. Every time my wife said a word, it was as if she had increased her strength. The nails of that hand dug into the heart, breaking the skin, bleeding...

He felt sorry for his wife and children to the point of suffocation, to the point where he couldn't breathe, and he was more ashamed and blamed himself. His voice was hoarse and feeble, as if he had aged instantly, "It's my fault, it's all my fault..."

If he leaves, the family will be separated.

If the things he sends back are divided into two parts.

Is it different?

Serving as a soldier was for the sake of her early days, for her and the children to have a better life, but, leaving home, she couldn't protect them.

It was a knot that would never be untied, and no matter what he decided to do, he was wronging his wife and children.

Even if he is successful and famous now, he has defended the country, killed the enemy, is admired by the people in the border towns, and has become a general and a hero.

But...a coward who couldn't hold his head up in front of his wife and children.

A coward who failed his wife and children through and through.

Family and country, for soldiers like them, it is too difficult, it is too difficult to take care of everything.

Defending the country, bleeding on the battlefield, and even dying on the battlefield shrouded in horse leather, became a hero, became a martyr, and was admired by others, but... How many of them did not disappoint their families?

It's hard to have both.

He doesn't regret being a soldier.

I only regret that I was too young, too stupid, and too trusting of my mother three years ago.

He thought that even though his own mother was eccentric, she would not really starve her wife and children to death.

But he overestimated his own mother.

Knowing that selling the general's merits to General Wu was like a tiger's skin, but thinking of the hard life at home, he still sold it for money and for his wife and children to live a prosperous life.

But who would have thought that sending back all the money he paid for his life would not exchange for the slightest sympathy from his mother for his wife and children.

She drove his wife to work in the fields like a cow and a horse, and made a plan to drive his wife and children out, tortured and beat his son until he was disabled, leaving his wife with nowhere to seek medical treatment, and even thought of sacrificing herself to save her son... …

He closed his eyes, holding back the tears in his eyes.

He escaped death on the battlefield, and there were only three people left in the vanguard army. Facing the enemy's thousands of troops, he never shed tears, did not have such despair and pain, and could kill the enemy's leader and find out at the critical moment. There is a way out.

But he didn't expect that because of his mother's harsh treatment of his wife and children, he blamed himself in pain and felt so uncomfortable that he wanted to cry, and couldn't hold back the tears.

He had grievances and grudges against his elder son, and when he wrote to the lord, he couldn't guarantee that he could completely let go of the grievance of killing his mother.

But now he felt that even if his son hadn't killed those people, when he knew the truth of all this, he would go crazy when he went back.

After experiencing the bloody slaughter on the battlefield, he was already brutal in his bones. If he went crazy, he didn't know what he would do.

Facing his wife, he felt guilty, in pain, and hated himself for being helpless.

I resent myself three years ago, when I was too young, too stupid, too foolish and filial, and too trusting in those family ties.

Three years ago, he was just a mud-legged man from the countryside, and a big old man who didn't care about the past and the future.When he arrived at the military camp, he was full of ambitions, but he was frustrated frequently. He was assigned to the vanguard army to die. Little, but it is too late, too late to understand, too late to mature.

If I could be more mature and smarter than myself three years ago, I would arrange everything in an orderly manner.

Maybe, everything will be different.

"Now... is it still too late? I... I was really wrong. I won't blame the big head. It's me who is useless as a father. I didn't protect you well, so he was forced to grow up at a young age..."

"Yingniang... let me use the rest of my life to redeem my sins, make it up to you, make up to the children... okay?"

(End of this chapter)