Chapter 30

"Fart! ——but Crow's fried noodles are really not tasty, no wonder she couldn't help it..."

"The place where the leopard skin mattress has lost its hair, I'll go and cut some skin from the foot against the wall to mend it. It's really pretty." Nu Xin walked into the room.

"Wait a minute," Yi said, thinking for a while, "That's not too busy. I'm really hungry, so I'd better hurry up and make a plate of spicy chicken and bake five catty pancakes for me so I can sleep. I'll go tomorrow Ask the Taoist priest for a dose of immortal medicine, and after eating it, go after him. Nv Geng, go tell Wang Sheng to measure four liters of white beans to feed the horses!"

Made in December [-].

This article was originally published on January 25, [-], the second issue of the second volume of the semi-monthly Beijing "Mangyuan".

Lishui

At this time, it is "the Tangtang flood is cut, the vastness is full of mountains and Xiangling"①; the people of Lord Shun② are not all crowded on the top of the mountain above the water, some are tied to the top of the tree, and some are sitting on wooden rafts. , Some wooden rafts have small sheds, which look very poetic from the shore.

The news in the distant place was uploaded from the wooden raft.Everyone finally knew that Mr. Gun had treated the water for nine years without any effect, and the dragon at the top was furious and exiled him to Yushan. It seemed that his son, Young Master Wen Ming, whose baby name was A Yu, took over. ③
The famine has been going on for a long time, the university has long been disbanded, and there is no place to open a kindergarten, so the people are a little chaotic.Only on the Wenhua Mountain ④, there are still many scholars gathered. Their food is all transported by flying car from the Qiji Kingdom ⑤, so they are not afraid of shortage, so they can also study knowledge.However, most of them were opposed to Yu, or simply did not believe that there really was such a Yu in the world.

Once a month, as usual, there will be a rustling sound in the air, and the sound will become louder and louder. The speeding car can be seen clearly, and a flag with a yellow circle drawn on it is shining brightly.Just hang a few baskets five feet above the ground. Others don't know what's in them, they can only hear the upper and lower talking:

"An ancient forest!" ①
"Good Du has a picture!" ②
"Guru how many miles..."

"O.K!" The flying car flew towards the Qiji Kingdom, there was no more sound in the sky, and the scholars were also quiet, it was everyone eating.The water waves around the unique mountain, bumping into the stones, can't stop surging.After waking up in the afternoon, I am full of energy, so the theory will overwhelm the sound of the waves.

"Yu came to control the water, and he must have failed, if he was Gun's son," said a scholar with a stick. "I once collected the genealogies of many princes, ministers and wealthy families. After a lot of research, I came to a conclusion: the descendants of rich people are rich people, and the descendants of bad people are bad people—this is called 'inheritance' Therefore, if Gun does not succeed, his son Yu will certainly not succeed, because a fool cannot give birth to a wise man!"

"O.K!" said a scholar without a stick.

"But you have to think about our Supreme Emperor ③," said another scholar who didn't hold a stick.

"Although he was a little 'stubborn' before, he has changed for the better now. If he is a fool, he will never change..."

"O.K!"

"These are all nonsense," another scholar stammered, immediately turning the tip of his nose red. "You were deceived by rumors. In fact, there is no such thing as Yu. 'Yu' is a worm. Can worms control water? I don't think there is one in Gun. 'Gun' is a fish. Fish and fish can control water. Is it right?" When he said this, he kicked his feet very hard.

"But Gun did exist. Seven years ago, I saw him go to the foot of Kunlun Mountain to enjoy plum blossoms."

"Then, his name is wrong. His name is probably not 'Gun'. His name should be 'Ren'! As for Yu, he must be a worm. I have many evidences to prove his non-existence. Call everyone Come to the public review..."

So he stood up bravely, took out a sharpener, scraped off the bark of five large pine trees, made a slurry with the leftover bread crumbs and water, mixed charcoal powder, and wrote on the trees with small tadpole characters. It took thirty-nine twenty-seven days to obliterate A Yu's textual research.But anyone who wants to see it has to take out ten young elm leaves, and if they live on a wooden raft, they will be given a shell of fresh sphagnum moss instead.

Anyway, there is water everywhere, you can't hunt, you can't plant land, as long as you are alive, all you have is idle time, and there are quite a few people who come to see it.After being squeezed under the pine tree for three days, there were sighs everywhere, some from admiration, some from fatigue.But at noon on the fourth day, a countryman finally spoke while the scholar was eating fried noodles.

"Among people, there is someone named A Yu," said the countryman. "Besides, 'Yu' is not a worm. It's the simple Chinese characters of our countrymen. The gentlemen all write 'Yu'. ①It's a big monkey..."

"Is there anyone called a big monkey?" The scholar jumped up, quickly swallowed a mouthful of noodles, his nose was so red that it turned purple, and shouted.

"Yes, there are even those called Agou and Amao."

"Mr. Birdhead, don't argue with him," said the scholar with the stick, putting down the bread and standing in the middle. "Country people are fools. Get your family tree," he turned to the country people again, and said loudly, "I will definitely find that your ancestors are all fools..."

"I've never had a family tree..."

"Bah, it's you who are the ones that make my research imprecise!"

"But there is no need for genealogy, my theory is not wrong." Mr. Bird Head said even more angrily. "Previously, many scholars wrote letters in favor of my theory, and I have brought those letters here..."

"No, no, then you should check the family tree..."

"But I have no family tree," said the Fool. "Now that there are so many people in such a mess, and the transportation is inconvenient, waiting for letters from your friends to agree, as evidence, is really more difficult than building a dojo in a snail shell. The evidence is right in front of you: Your name is Mr. Bird Head, isn't it Is it really the head of a bird, and not a man?"

"Hmph!" Mr. Birdhead was so angry that even his helix turned purple. "You insult me ​​like this! You say I'm not human! I want to go to Mr. Gao Yao with you to have a legal settlement! If I'm really not human, I'd rather make a big deal—that's beheading, do you understand? Otherwise, you should sit back. Just wait, don’t move, until I finish eating the fried noodles.”

"Sir," the countryman replied numbly and calmly, "you are a scholar, and you should know that it is already afternoon, and others will be hungry too. It is a pity that the stomach of a fool is the same as that of a wise man: hungry too. I'm really sorry, I'm going to fish for moss, and I'll surrender after you've got the paperwork." So he jumped on the raft, picked up the net bag, picked up the water plants, and drove away in a normal way.The spectators gradually dispersed, and Mr. Bird Head started to eat fried noodles with red ears and the tip of his nose, while the scholar holding a stick shook his head.

However, whether "Yu" is a worm or a person is still a big question.

two

Yu is really like a worm.

More than half a year has passed, and the flying car from Qiji Kingdom has come eight times. Nine out of ten wooden row residents who have read the words on the pine tree have beriberi, but there is no news of the new water control official.It wasn't until the tenth time that the flying car came that news came that there was indeed such a person as Yu, who was Gun's son, and it was indeed Jian who released the Minister of Water Resources. Three years ago, he set off from Jizhou. Festival ②, it will be here soon.

Everyone was a little bit excited, but indifferent, and didn't really believe it, because everyone's ears were numb when they heard such unreliable rumors.

However, this time it seemed that the news was very reliable. After more than ten days, almost everyone said that the minister was indeed coming, because someone went out to fish for floating weeds and saw the official boat with his own eyes; he also pointed to a black and blue pimple on his head and said In order to avoid it too slowly, he ate the flying stones of the officers and soldiers: this is the evidence that the minister has indeed arrived.Since then, this man has been very famous and very busy. Everyone rushed to see the pimple on his head, almost sinking the wooden raft. Later, scholars called him to study carefully, and determined that his pimple was indeed true. It's really lumpy, so Mr. Bird Head can no longer hold on to his prejudices, so he has to leave the textual research to others, and collect folk tunes by himself.

The arrival of a large group of canoes came about 20 days after the bumps on their heads. On each boat, there were [-] officers and soldiers paddling oars, [-] officers and soldiers holding spears, and flags at the front and back; , the gentlemen and scholars had lined up on the shore to greet them, and after a long time, two fat middle-aged officials appeared from the largest boat, surrounded by about twenty warriors wearing tiger skins, I went to the stone house on the highest peak with the people who greeted me.

Everyone was on both sides of the water and land, probed their brains and inquired carefully, only to realize that the two were just investigation commissioners, but not Yu himself.

The officials sat in the center of the stone house, and after eating bread, they began to investigate.

"The disaster is not serious, and the food can be used perfunctorily," said a representative of scholars and an expert in Miao language. "Bread falls from mid-air every month; there is no shortage of fish, though somewhat earthy, but fat, my lord. As for the lowly people, they have plenty of elm leaves and seaweed, and they are 'full of food all day long, and have nothing to do with it',— — It’s just that I don’t bother, I just need to eat these. We also tasted it, and the taste is not bad, it’s very special..."

"Besides," another scholar who studied "Shen Nong's Materia Medica" rushed to say, "Elmus leaves contain vitamin W; seaweed contains iodine, which can cure scrofula. Both are very hygienic."①
"O.K!" said another scholar.The officers glared at him.

"As for the drink," the scholar of "Shen Nong's Materia Medica" continued, "they have as much as they want, and ten thousand generations can't finish it. It's a pity that it contains a little loess. Before drinking, it should be distilled. I have taught it many times. However, they were stubborn and absolutely refused to follow suit, so they created countless patients..."

"Even the flood, isn't it caused by them?" A gentleman with five long beards and a caramel-colored robe rushed to ask again. "Before the water came, they were lazy and refused to fill it. When the flood came, they were lazy and refused to pour it..."

"That's what it means to lose one's spirit," Fu Xi, sitting in the back row with a mustache, smiled at the sketch writer. "I went to the Pamirs, the wind is strong, the plum blossoms are blooming, the white clouds are flying, the price of gold is rising, and the mice are sleeping. I saw a young man with a cigar in his mouth, and the mist of Chiyou's face... Hahaha! There is no way. ..."

"O.K!"

We talked like this for a long time.The officials listened very attentively, and at the end of the day, they were asked to draw up a public statement, and it would be best to have a statement that explained how to deal with the aftermath.

So the officers disembarked.On the second day, it was said that it was because of the fatigue on the road, no work and no visitors; on the third day, the scholars invited them to appreciate the ancient pine trees on the highest peak.On the fourth day, it was said that it was because of the exhaustion of the inspection, and there was no work and no visitors; on the afternoon of the fifth day, it was reported that the representatives of the lower people were heard.

The representatives of the lower people were elected four days ago, but no one refused to go, saying that they had never met the officials.So most of them presumed the one with the pimple on the head, thinking that he had the experience of seeing officials.The pimple that had calmed down suddenly felt like a needle prick, and he cried and insisted: Be a representative, or give me death!Everyone surrounded him, and held him accountable for days and nights, saying that he was a self-interested individualist who disregarded public interests, and would not be tolerated by China; the more violent ones even squeezed their fists and stretched them out in front of his nose, Let him take responsibility for the flood this time.He was so thirsty that he thought that it would be better to take the risk of making sacrifices for public welfare than being forced to die on the raft, so he made up his mind, and on the fourth day, he agreed.

Everyone praised him, but the warriors were a little jealous.

It was the morning of the fifth day. Everyone dragged him up early in the morning and stood on the shore to listen to calls.Sure enough, the officials called.His legs trembled immediately, but he immediately made up his mind. After making up his mind, he yawned twice again, his eye sockets were swollen, and he felt as if his feet were floating on the ground, and he walked onto the official ship. up.

Strangely enough, neither the officers and soldiers with spears nor the tiger-skinned warriors beat or scolded him, and kept him in the middle cabin.The cabin was covered with bear skins, leopard skins, several pairs of crossbow bolts, and many bottles and jars, which dazzled him.After taking a closer look, I saw two fat officials sitting on the top, opposite to myself.He didn't dare to see clearly what it looked like.

"Are you a representative of the people?" asked one of the officials.

"They asked me to come up," he replied, looking at the wormwood-like pattern of the leopard skin that spread on the bilge.

"How are you?"

"..." He didn't understand the meaning and didn't answer.

"How are you doing?"

"Thanks to my lord, it's okay..." He thought about it again, and said in a low voice, "Perfunctory...you bastard..."

"What about food?"

"Yes, leaves, water moss..."

"Can you still eat it all?"

"Affordable. We're used to everything, and we're able to eat. Only some little beasts are still yelling. People's hearts are going bad. Damn it, we'll beat him."

The adults laughed, and one said to the other, "This guy is honest."

When the guy heard the praise, he was very happy and became more courageous. He narrated eloquently:

"We always have a way to think about it. For example, sphagnum moss, it is best to make slippery emerald soup, and one piece of elm leaves is used as a soup. Peel the bark and do not peel it off. You have to leave one, then next spring, the branches will still grow leaves. There is a harvest. If, thanks to your lord, you catch an eel..."

However, the adults didn’t seem to like listening to it very much, and one of them yawned twice in succession, interrupting his speech and saying: “You guys should come together with an official report, and it’s best to also bring a statement of how to contribute to the aftermath. .”

"None of us can write..." He said anxiously.

"Aren't you illiterate? This is really called not seeking to make progress! There is no way, just pick a portion of what you eat!"

Frightened yet happy, he withdrew, touched the pimple, and immediately passed on the command of the adults to the residents on the shore, on the tree and on the row, and said loudly: "This is sent to the top! Do it! Clean, meticulous, decent!..."

All the residents were busy at the same time, washing leaves, cutting bark, fishing for moss, making a mess.He himself is a sawn board to make Jincheng's box.Two of them were very polished, and I ran to the top of the mountain overnight to invite scholars to write. One is for the lid of a box, asking to write "Shoushan Fuhai", and the other is for making a flat forehead on my wooden raft. Write "honestly".But scholars are only willing to write a piece of "Shoushan Fuhai".

three

When the two officials returned to the capital, most of the other inspectors also came back one after another, only Yu was still outside.After they rested at home for a few days, colleagues from the Water Conservancy Bureau arranged a big banquet in the bureau to welcome them. The members were divided into three types: Fu, Lu, Shou, and at least fifty large shells.This day was really full of traffic, and before dusk, all the host and guests had arrived, but the yard had already been lit, and the smell of beef in the cauldron penetrated to the nose of the tiger outside the door, and everyone swallowed together .After drinking for three rounds, the officials talked about the scenery along the way of the water town, the reed flowers are like snow, the muddy water is like gold, the eels are plump, and the moss is slippery...etc.After getting a little drunk, I took out the folk food that everyone had collected. They were all packed in delicate wooden boxes with characters written on the cover. After that, it was decided to take the piece that said "Guotai Minan" as the first, because not only the characters are simple and difficult to read, but also have the style of ancient times, and the words are also very decent, which can be announced to the history museum.

After assessing the unique art of China, the cultural issue finally came to an end, so it was time to inspect the contents of the box: everyone praised the delicacy of the cake.However, probably he drank too much wine, so there was a lot of discussion: some took a bite of the loose skin cake, admired its fragrance, and said that they would hang their crowns and retire tomorrow to enjoy such a happy life; , but the taste is rough and bitter, which hurt his tongue. To share the adversity with the people in this way, it can be seen that it is difficult to be a king, and it is not easy to be a minister.A few rushed forward again, trying to snatch the cakes they had bitten, saying that there would be an exhibition to raise donations soon, and these had to be displayed, and it would be unsightly to bite too much.

There was also an uproar outside the bureau.A group of beggar-like big men, with dark faces and strangely worn clothes, actually broke through the line that cut off traffic and broke into the bureau.The guards shouted loudly, and quickly crossed their bright daggers left and right, blocking their way.

"What?—See it!" A tall, thin and rough man with thick hands and feet stood in front of him and said loudly, startled for a moment.

The guards fixed their eyes in the twilight, stood at attention respectfully, raised their arms, and let them in. They only stopped a panting woman in a dark blue homemade robe who was chasing after her, holding a child in her arms.

"What? Don't you know me?" She wiped the sweat from her forehead with her fist and asked in surprise.

"Mrs. Yu, how come we don't know your family?"

"Then why didn't you let me in?"

"Mrs. Yu, it's not a good year. From this year on, we must uphold customs and people's hearts. There is no difference between men and women. Now that yamen doesn't let women in, not only here, not only you. This is an order from above. Don't blame us."

Mrs. Yu stayed for a while, then raised her eyebrows, turned around, and shouted:

"He killed a thousand knives! What kind of funeral! He walked past the door of his house and didn't even come in to take a look, so he went to your funeral! Being an official is an official, what's the advantage of being an official, carefully like your old man, and be exiled into the army , and fell into the pool and became a big bastard! Such a heartless killing of thousands of swords!..."

At this time, disturbances had already occurred in the lobby of the bureau.As soon as everyone saw a group of reckless men running towards them, they all wanted to avoid them, but they couldn't see the dazzling weapons, so they bit the bullet again and looked intently.Those who came were also approaching. Although the first one had a dark and thin face, he could be recognized from his expression as Yu; the rest were naturally his attendants.

This scare scared everyone away from drinking, and there was a rustle of clothes, and everyone immediately retreated below.Yu then stepped straight onto the mat and sat down on it, probably in a grandiose manner, or perhaps he had the wind of a crane's knee, but instead of sitting with his knees bent, he stretched out his feet, pointing the soles of his big feet at the senior officials, and then sat down. Without socks, the soles of the feet are covered with chestnut-like calluses.The entourage sat on his left and right sides.

"Your Excellency, are you returning to Beijing today?" A bold member of staff asked respectfully, walking a little forward on his knees.

"Sit closer!" Yu didn't answer his question, but only said to everyone. "How did the investigation go?"

The senior officials walked forward on their knees, looked at each other, and sat in a row under the remnant feast, seeing the bitten loose skin cakes and the gnawed beef bones.Very uncomfortable-but dare not ask the cook to come and collect it.

"My lord," said one of the dignitaries at last. "It still looks like a good impression. Pine bark water plants produce a lot; as for drinks, they are very rich. The people are very honest, and they are used to it. My lord, they are all good at enduring hardships. , world-renowned people."

(End of this chapter)

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