Give you a lifetime of love

Chapter 361 Makes Me Feel Alienated
This letter is heavy in my hand. I found it just now, but I didn't think about opening it. After all, it is Gan Shuang's relic. I am not interested, but Xi Nuo left it here!
And I was surprised that Gan Shuang actually wrote a letter!
As if he knew that his life was not long!

I put the letter in my handbag and went into the old house. Under the guidance of the servants, I went to the hall. Xi Zhan had already put her mother in the coffin. Since the mistress was buried last time, I could not invite another banquet this time. As a collateral branch of my family, I can only quietly bury Gan Shuang beside my father, although I don't think she is qualified!

But the person has passed away, and left in such a cruel way, I will no longer judge who is right and who is wrong, what is right and what is wrong.

I stood guard at the entrance of the hall, and Xi Zhan knelt in front of his mother's coffin to keep vigil for him. The past two years have been really turbulent.

Too many people have left us!
My biological father, Xi Zhan's two mothers, my biological mother, and Xi Zhan and I have come four times to preside over the funeral.

I didn't stay in the hall for long before returning to Xi Zhan's courtyard. The bouquet of narcissus had withered, and the maple leaves in April were turning red.

I sat in front of the threshold and looked at the artificial lake in the courtyard, thinking about things all the time. Whether my biological parents left or Xi Zhan’s two mothers left, I didn’t feel much sadness in my heart. I just felt sorry and sad for my mother. After all, we have only met a few times and there is no big relationship, but I know she loves me!

I sighed and said, "I'm not cold-hearted."

I never feel cold, but this blood is very hot.

Otherwise, she wouldn't have loved Gu Tingchen that much back then.

Jing Ye who was beside him heard and asked: "What did the Patriarch say?"

"It's nothing, just lamenting the impermanence of the world."

I never thought that I would be the only blood of the Xi family.

I never thought that the Xi family would be my authority.

I took out Gan Shuang's letter from my handbag, I was hesitant to open it, but I touched a hard object.

I opened it and saw a necklace inside.

The pendant is a diamond tear.

Look at some years.

I opened the letter and found that Gan Shuang had written many last words.

"My Zhaner,
My mother killed Shi Sheng's mother. This was my mother's long-cherished wish for many years, so my mother did not regret it. Even if I knew that Shi Sheng would not let me go, even if I knew that the woman's adopted son would not let me go, my mother did not regret it, because my mother I finally put an end to the great hatred in my heart, and I have nothing to worry about in this world, including you.

Zhan'er, don't blame your mother for being cruel.

You are a bastard born of your mother.

Even your mother doesn't know who your biological father is!
Mother really, really, really never loved you.

Even if your mother died, your mother never loved you.

Mother loves Xi Fu from beginning to end.

They are all my elder brothers Shen Nian.

Mother loves him, to the bottom of her heart!

My mother followed him silently for more than ten years when he was young, and finally became his wife. He even went to XZ to pick Gesang flowers for me to please my mother!

So you want to say that he doesn't love his mother...

Mother would never believe it.

If he doesn't love me...

How can he treat me like this?

Zhan'er, you always say that he doesn't love me, you always say that I live in my own world, you always persuade me to let go of everything...

But how can I let it go?
Obviously he was the one who agreed to marry me only at the beginning.

But he was also the one who picked up his aunt to enter the door later!
Even later, in order to marry that woman, he even wanted to divorce those concubines, and even wanted to divorce me...

Has there ever been a precedent for the mistress of the Xi family to be driven back to her natal family?

Do you want me to accept insults from the world and poke my spine?

Mother didn't do anything wrong, why should she bear this?

Zhan'er, brother Shen Nian really loves me!
He just doesn't have a good memory...

He just tends to forget our feelings.

In fact, he loves me!
He really loves me...

......"

There are still several pages to follow, and I can no longer read what Gan Shuang wrote, because the treacherous man is really my father!
Gan Shuang is paranoid, but it was also my father who was at fault first!
But what she said...

Mother really, really, really never loved you.

The important thing is said three times.

Gan Shuang doesn't love Xi Zhan...

Let Xi Zhan see it, he will definitely be heartbroken.

But this letter was written to Xi Zhan!

And Gan Shuang also called Xi Zhan a wild species.

I sighed deeply and asked Jing Ye beside me, "Gan Shuang wrote in the letter that he doesn't love Xi Zhan, should I show it to Xi Zhan?"

Jing Ye replied hesitantly, "This is a letter for Mr. Xi."

Jing Ye secretly persuaded me to give it to Xi Zhan in person.

I asked him puzzled, "Is there really a mother in the world who doesn't love her children? For the sake of giving birth to Run'er and Yun'er, I would be willing to take my life. To Xi Zhan? Gan Shuang is really cruel and heartless!"

Jing Ye thought for a while and said: "The head of the family can think about the problem from a different angle. Maybe the mistress said this because she didn't want Mr. Xi to worry about her anymore! After all, how can there be parents in the world who don't love their children? The mistress' heart Maybe it’s because I have a lot of guilt.”

When Jing Ye said this, I felt a little better!

I continued to read the letter——

"Mother has been too stubborn in her life!
Stubborn enough to be separated from him for decades; stubborn enough to quarrel with him on the day of his death, still asking him who he loves; stubborn enough to never let him go until he was about to die.

Mother is too stubborn.

Stubborn enough to do too many wrong things in this life.

But my mother never regretted it.

Even if it is death, there is no regret.

Zhaner,

Mother really sensed the danger was approaching.

Even more aware of your disappointment in me.

You shouldn't shelter me anymore, right?
You really won't shelter me anymore!

Because you look at your mother with cold eyes.

But even if you stop protecting your mother, I won't blame you, after all, I have never been kind to you from the beginning to the end!

Zhaner,

I hope we will no longer be mother and son in the next life!

I hope you will no longer be a wild species in your next life.

......"

No wonder Gan Shuang wrote this suicide note!
Because she realized that Xi Zhan had given up on her.

I am not interested in reading the rest of the content, but put away this letter and give it to Jing Ye, "Give it back to Xi Nuo."

Xi Nuo will give this letter to Xi Zhan!
After Jing Ye left the courtyard, I got up and walked to the hall. Xi Nuo was accompanying Xi Zhan, so I didn't go in to disturb the two of them!
But Shino inadvertently turned around and saw me.

She nodded to me and left the hall!
Sino now knows how to advance and retreat.

In fact, she has always known how to advance and retreat.

Never cross the line.

After Xi Nuo left, I walked to Xi Zhan's side, I hesitated for a long time and then knelt beside him, "Sorry."

I knelt down to Ganshuang just for Xi Zhan.

But it doesn't mean I forgive her.

I will never forgive her in this life.

Xi Zhan's thin and cool voice answered me, "You are not wrong."

Xi Zhan said I was not wrong.

No matter when and where he never blamed me.

Even if I directly caused his mother's death!
I whispered, "Xi Zhan, you can blame me."

Xi Zhan condensed his voice, "Why don't you call me Second Brother?"

I was taken aback, "Huh?"

"When you call me Xi Zhan, it makes me feel alienated."

(End of this chapter)