childhood, on earth, my university

Chapter 9: In the world (2)
I am afraid.In this cool night, I was sweating profusely.I wondered worriedly, if old Kalinin climbed out of the coffin, would I have time to run to the watchtower?
Every time the bell rang, there was a moment of silence around.I was wrapped in a quilt, crossed my legs, and sat on the coffin facing the church.As soon as the body moved, the coffin creaked and the sand beneath it also rustled.

Suddenly, something fell on the ground behind me, there was a bang, then another bang, and a small brick fell near me.I felt trembling all over, but I immediately guessed that it was Valek and the others who threw it in from outside the wall.The thought of someone nearby made me less nervous.

There are many mica flakes in the sand, which glow dimly in the moonlight. This reminds me of a time when I was lying on Muqian looking at the water of the Oka River, a bream suddenly surfaced and almost touched my face.A hedgehog crawled over, stepping on the sand with its hard paws, reminding me of a little house god covered in bristles...

It was getting brighter.The morning chill made his face tight.My eyes gradually closed.I covered my head with the quilt, curled up, and lay down, thinking about it.

"Get up! Are you freezing? How are you, are you afraid?" Grandma woke me up.She stood by and pulled back the quilt.

"Scared. But don't tell anyone, don't tell those kids," I said.

"Why don't you tell me?" Grandma was surprised. "If it's not scary, this matter is nothing special."

At night, I became a "hero" in the street, and people asked me:
"Are you really not afraid?"

"Fear."

They shook their heads and cried:

"Ah! I'm not kidding."

Lyudmina looked at me with kind and surprised eyes, and my grandfather smiled beside me.Only Churk said grimly:

"Of course he is not afraid, his grandmother is a witch!"

3
Little brother Kolya passed away quietly like a star in the morning light.

Grandmother, little brother and I slept on a pile of firewood in the small shed, covered with rags.Next to it is a wool board wall with many gaps, and on the other side of the wall is the landlord's chicken coop.In the morning, I couldn't bear the smell of chicken manure, so I often walked out of the shed and climbed up to the roof to observe the people who woke up.One morning, I was lying on the roof of the shed when my grandmother called me down and said softly,
Kolya slipped off the red cloth pillow and lay down on the blanket.

"For God's sake, he's gone," said the grandmother. "How else can I live, poor boy!"

The grandfather came over, touched the child's open eyes carefully with his fingers, then glanced at the grandmother, and said:
"I don't have the money to do funerals for him, so you can figure it out."

Kolya was buried the next morning.I didn't go to church.During Mass, I sat with Yazz's father by my mother's grave.He dug up my mother's grave, and I saw black boards with damp edges.Grandma brought a small white coffin, and Yazi's father jumped into the pit, caught the coffin, placed it side by side with the black boards, climbed out of the pit, and filled it with soil with his feet and a shovel.Grandfather and grandmother also silently helped.My grandmother left after visiting the grave, and my grandfather followed suit.I was very sad, thinking about death.

In the evening, outside the gate, I sadly told Lyudmina everything that had happened that morning, but she said flatly:

"Being an orphan is not bad. If my parents are dead, I will give my sister to my brother and live in a monastery for the rest of my life. I have nowhere to go, and I can't marry. A cripple can't work, and a child may be born It's lame."

She spoke logically.From about this evening, I lost interest in her.Later, life changed, and the opportunities for me to meet her became less and less.One night a few days later, my grandfather said to me:

"Go to bed early tonight, I will wake you up at dawn tomorrow, and we will go to the woods to collect firewood."

"I'm going to pick up grass too." Grandma said.

There is a spruce and birch forest in the swamp not far from the village.The next day, just after dawn, the three of us set foot on the silver-green field soaked in morning dew.

My grandfather was wearing my grandmother's jacket and an old hat without a brim. He squinted his eyes and walked his thin legs cautiously, as if he was about to slip away quietly.My grandmother, in a blue jacket and black skirt, with a white towel around her head, walked so fast that I could hardly keep up with her.

The closer he got to the woods, the more excited his grandfather was, he kept inhaling through his nose, and muttered intoxicatedly:

"The forest is God's garden. When I was young, I went to Zhiguli as a tracker. Hey, Lexey, you can't feel what I went through! At that time, the big forest on the Oka River, and the other side of the Volga River The forest in the Urals is really boundless and beautiful..."

Grandma squinted at him and winked at me again.He stumbled and staggered when he was tripped by the mound, and he kept talking.

We walked among the swampy mounds and thin spruces, following a damp path into the forest.

Grandmother stood on a dry field and said:
"It's time to eat, sit down!"

In her basket were brown bread, shallots, cucumbers, and salt, and the curd was wrapped in a cloth.Grandfather looked at these things shyly, blinked and said:
"Old lady, I didn't bring anything to eat..."

"Enough for the three of us."

We sat down with our backs against the trunk of the pine tree.The air is full of rosin, the wind blows slowly from the field, and the horsetail grass is shaking.While pulling out the weeds with her black hands, my grandmother introduced to me the medicinal functions of hypericum, red bayberry, and plantain seed, as well as the magical curative effects of fern, willow orchid, and quince.

My grandfather cut down the fallen tree, and I should have piled up the chopped firewood, but I couldn't help but secretly followed my grandmother into the dense forest.She walked slowly among the thick tree trunks, bent over and searched on the ground covered with needles, and said to herself: "It's early again, and there are not many mushrooms to pick. God, you are too Don't care about the poor anymore, mushrooms are the best food for the poor!"

I followed her carefully, not saying a word, for fear of being noticed by her, I didn't want to disturb her conversation with God, weeds, and frogs.She still found me.

We went deeper and deeper in the woods, and came to a place of deep shade with a few rays of sunlight.In the warm and comfortable woods, a special, expectant, and reminiscent sound echoed.The crossbill is chirping, the clear-sounding chickadee is singing, the cuckoo is laughing, the oriole is whistling, the canary is tirelessly singing a song full of jealousy, and the eccentric sparrow is full of thoughts. .Small green frogs are jumping around at the feet, and a yellow-collared snake is lying between the roots of the tree, with its golden head raised, peeping at the frogs.The squirrel was gnawing on something, and its soft tail flashed across the treetops, which was really dizzying.

A light and transparent mist flows between the trunks of the pine trees, and then disappears in the green shade.Through the green shade, the blue sky and white clouds can be seen faintly.Moss spread underfoot like a carpet embroidered with lingonberry bushes and cranberry bushes.On the grass, the raspberry is as eye-catching as blood.The rich mushroom aroma hits the nostrils.

"Supreme Mother, the bright sun of the earth!" the grandmother prayed with a sigh.

In the woods, she seemed to be the master and kin of everything around her.She walks like a bear, giving thanks and praise for everything she encounters.There seemed to be a warm current flowing from her body, flowing among the trees.I was very happy to see that the moss she had stepped on stretched again.

As I walked, I thought: It would be best to go to my grandmother’s God, the Holy Mother, and tell them how difficult life is for people and how much pain there is in the world.If Our Lady believes me, please give me the wisdom to rearrange everything.

I was lost in thought, and accidentally fell into the pit. The branch cut my waist, and a piece of skin was broken on the back of my head.Sitting in the cold, resinous mud, I felt ashamed that I couldn't climb up, and I was too embarrassed to disturb my grandmother.In the end, I had no choice but to call her.

Grandmother pulled me up, made the sign of the cross, and said:

"Thank goodness! It's a good thing the bear cave is empty."

She took me to the stream to wash, applied some leaves to relieve the pain, and tore a piece of cloth from her shirt to wrap the wound, and then took me to the railway station to rest.

From then on, I asked my grandmother to go to the woods every day, and she always readily agreed to me.In this way, we spent the whole summer until late autumn.During this period of time, we either had Miyozao and Guo, or Mijian Mushrooms and walnuts.My grandmother sold Miji's things to make ends meet.The woods bring me spiritual peace and comfort, and drive away the pain in my heart.My senses are sharper: my hearing and vision are sharper than before, and my memory is stronger.

My grandmother amazes me more and more.I have become accustomed to regard her as the noblest person among all people, the kindest and wisest person in the world, and she constantly strengthens my feeling.One night we picked white mushrooms to go home.We came out of the forest and into the glade.Grandma sat down to rest, and I went around behind the woods to see if there were any mushrooms.

Suddenly, I heard her talking.I looked up, and saw her sitting on the path, calmly grabbing the roots of the mushrooms, and a thin gray dog ​​standing aside with its tongue sticking out. "Go away, go away!" she said, "God be with you."

I'd love to keep the dog in front of me, because mine was poisoned by Valek not long ago.So, I immediately ran to the trail.The dog hunched up strangely, its neck still, its hungry eyes shooting a green light at me, and it darted off into the woods with its tail between its legs.

"Did you see it?" Grandma said with a smile, "I thought it was a dog at first. When I looked closer, I saw that it had wolf teeth. I was afraid, so I said: Hey, if you are a wolf, go away! Well, wolves don't hurt people in summer."

Grandmother never got lost in the woods.She smells the smell of grass and knows where mushrooms grow, and she often quizzes me.Seeing shallow claw marks on the bark, she told me that there were squirrel holes in the tree.So I climbed up and dug out the hole, and took out the hazelnuts that the squirrels had prepared for the winter.

Every time, my grandmother took part of the money from selling mushrooms and hazelnuts and put them under the windows of other people's houses as "secret charity".She herself didn't wear a decent dress even if it was a festival.

I spent a summer in the woods, my body grew strong, my temper became wild, and I was no longer interested in the lives of my peers and Lyudmina.

One day, my grandfather came back from the city and proudly said to me:
"Hey, idle guy, go to work tomorrow!"

"Where are you going?" Grandma asked angrily.

"Your sister Matrona's son."

"Old man, thank you for thinking it out."

"Shut up, fool! Maybe he'll be a painter."

Grandmother bowed her head silently.

In the evening I told Lyudmina that I was going to the city and staying there. "My family is going to send me to the city soon," she said anxiously. "My father wants to amputate this leg, so that my health will be better."

After a summer, she got thinner, her face turned blue, and her eyes got bigger.

"Are you afraid?" I asked.

"Scared." She cried.

I couldn't comfort her, and I was terrified of life in the city myself.We sat close together for a long time in silence.

4
I came to the city again and lived in a white two-story building.The downstairs windows looked out onto a narrow passage and yard.From the upper windows, looking over the wall, one could see the laundress's hut and the dirty alcove.In the middle of the hollow facing the house was half a mountain of rubbish, overgrown with nettles, burdocks, and honey sorrel, and the other half was Father Dolimedont Pokrovski's garden.The left side of the depression leads to a labor camp for prisoners, and the end of the right side is a mud pond, the mud in the pond is foul-smelling.

I am used to the fresh and peaceful fields and forests, and the mess in this corner of the town bores me.On the opposite side of the depression is a dilapidated gray wall. From a distance, there is a small brown and black house in the middle, which is where I lived when I was an apprentice in a shoe store last winter.This makes me even more sad.Why did I go back to this street again?

I am very familiar with this owner.In the past, the two brothers often visited my mother.They are still the same.The elder brother has a hooked nose, long hair, and is kind.The younger brother, Victor, has a long face covered with freckles.Their mother, grandmother's sister, had a bad temper and a rough voice.The elder brother's wife is plump, with fair skin, and big black eyes.

Twice in the first few days of my arrival she said to me "I sent your mother a silk cloak trimmed with beads."

I don't quite believe she ever sent something, nor that my mother would accept it.So when she mentioned this matter to me again, I said: "Since I gave it away, don't keep talking about it!"

She took a step back in surprise:
She called out to her husband.Her husband ran into the kitchen with compasses in his hand and a pencil in his ear.After listening to her, she said to me:
"When you talk to her and anyone else, you have to say 'Your lord. Don't be rude!"

Then he said to her impatiently:

"Don't bother me with little things!"

I have a good impression of this host.When I see him, I think of that "good thing".The owner often has a satisfied smile on his face, the gray eyes are very cute, and there are a few interesting wrinkles beside the hooked nose.He often said to his wife and mother with a smile:
"You old hens, have enough noise!"

In this family, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often quarreled, which made me very scared and bored.I have a lot to do here.Mop the kitchen floor and wipe the utensils on Wednesday.On Saturdays, I drag the floor of the entire building and the stairs on both sides, chop firewood, wash dishes and vegetables, go to the market with the housewife in a basket, and go shopping in shops and pharmacies.

My boss is my grandmother's sister.This nagging and angry old lady got up at six every morning, and after washing, she knelt in front of the holy statue and began to complain about life, her children and her daughter-in-law.I lay on the bed and listened to her curse-filled prayer in fear. Even my grandfather had never prayed so viciously.When the prayer was over, she called me up:
"Get up, don't sleep, you didn't come to sleep! Burn the samovar and bring the firewood! Didn't you prepare the pine light last night? Humph!"

I do everything I can.However, the old lady and the young housewife still often complain about me in front of the master.One day, the master said to them coldly:
"You have done too much, treating him like a bully. If it were someone else, he would either run away or die from exhaustion."

This made them cry.After they left angrily, the master said to me sharply:
"I see, little guy. You have disturbed the peace as soon as you come. If I send you to your grandfather again, you will have to pick up the trash again!"

"Picking up junk is better than here! I'm here to be an apprentice, but what have you taught me? You pour dirty water all day long." I replied very unconvinced.

The master stared into my eyes and said in surprise:
"You have a big temper, little guy, this can't be done, can't..."

I think he will definitely drive me away.But one day later, he came into the kitchen with a roll of thick paper, pencils, instruments, and a set square, and said:
"After wiping the knife, let's draw this."

On the paper was a front view of a two-story building, with many windows and clay moldings.

I am very happy to learn art.As soon as I finished scrubbing the kitchen utensils, I washed my hands and started drawing.But the house I was drawing had a sloping front, with windows on one side, one of them overhanging the wall, a porch as high as two stories, and a skylight over the chimney.I almost cried.I don't understand how to draw it like this.Then I decided to modify it by imagination.I painted crows, pigeons, and sparrows on all the eaves and ridges of the front of the house. In the open space in front of the windows, I drew some people with umbrellas, and added a few diagonal lines to the whole picture.Then, I gave the painting to the master.

He raised his eyebrows and asked unhappily:
"What is this painting?"

"It's raining," I explained, "and the house looks slanted when it rains because the rain is slanted. And the birds, hiding under the eaves when it rains. These people are running home, and the woman fell Yes. Here is a lemon seller..."

"Oh, my God!" said the host, laughing.

He marked the crooked front of the house with a red pen, and gave me a few more sheets of paper: "Draw it again until it's done."

This time, I drew much better.Only one window was drawn onto the porch.The house was empty, I didn't like it, so I drew a few people inside.At the window sat a lady holding a fan and a gentleman smoking a cigarette.A coachman stood at the gate, and a dog lay on the ground.

"Why do you doodle? If you want to learn it, you have to learn it seriously. This is nonsense!" After seeing it, the master said angrily.

He was delighted when I finally drew a decent front view:
"Look, the painting is finally finished! If this continues, you will soon be my assistant."

However, my dream of studying art was soon shattered.After the old lady knew that I was learning to draw, she beat and scolded me, and threw away my drawings and drawing tools.Then she and the young housewife found the master and had a big fight.After the quarrel was over, the master said to me:
"Don't learn for a while, look, it's a mess!"

I feel sorry for him.

Victor is very greedy and keeps asking for food.Every Sunday, when his mother bakes pancakes, she always puts them in a few jars and hides them under the bed where I sleep for him to eat.But he complained that there were too few left.

Once, I took out the jar and ate two, only to be beaten by him.We hate each other.He always teases me and asks me to polish his shoes three times a day.He slept on a high plank bed, and he often opened the bed and spit at me through the cracks.

My life here was already unsatisfactory, and it made me even more uncomfortable when my grandmother came to see me.When she came, she came in through the back door, first went to the kitchen, crossed the icon, and then bowed deeply to her sister, that nasty old lady.She kept her mouth shut primly, and sat softly on the bench by the dirty bucket by the door, while her sister looked indifferent and gloated.

The young housewife came out of the house and politely greeted the grandmother to enter the house, and the host received her warmly.Grandmother talked with him cordially and happily.Later, the young housewife led the grandmother to see the newborn child.I put away the tea set I just used, and the host whispered to me thoughtfully:
"Your grandmother was a good old woman..."

I appreciate him saying that.

When I was alone with my grandmother, I sadly said to her:
"What are you doing here? It's not like you don't know who they are..."

"Oh, Alyosha, I know," she said, smiling kindly, which made me feel ashamed.In fact, she sees everything in her eyes, understands everything in her heart, and even knows my thoughts.

(End of this chapter)