A Collection of Old Sayings by Fourth Sister You
Chapter 158 Lin Yuan
Chapter 158 Lin Yuan (21)
The sword on the seat is not old, and the weapon is late...
He was dazed for a long time before he came to his senses. If he hadn't misunderstood, did Lian Deng have a child on the seat?How come?Zuo Shang is not young, and he still has such abilities, which is really admirable.
But the admiration is the admiration, Lian Deng seems to have his own ideas about the child's fate, so does the seat know?Since someone is pregnant, it seems that it is not a gentleman's behavior to ignore it!Regarding the fate of Lian Deng, she was innocent from the beginning to the end. She was not willing to get involved in this dispute, and she was at fault here.According to him, since you decide to use it, don't be emotional with the chess pieces.Any harm is fine, but there should be no debts in love. If you don't want to be with others for a long time, why destroy others' innocence?Such a pure child has been stained, and now she has nowhere to go, what should she do?
After all, he still has some feelings for Lian Deng, and although he has played with her a few times, he has no bad intentions.Seeing that she is in such a mess now, he can't stand by and watch.Fortunately, the ceremony of offering sacrifices to heaven was over, so he turned around and called his nephew to lead the horse, and rushed back to the Taishang Shrine in a hurry.
The nine-storied pagoda is on the east side, some distance away from the palace gate, he asked the attendants as he walked, "Is Mrs. Cuiwei in the palace?"
The attendant said: "The madam has been summoned by the empress to the Daming Palace, and she has been away for about half an hour. Does Chun Guan have anything to see her?"
Fang Zhou didn't have time to explain, and hurried to the nine-storied pagoda.Stopped and looked, saw the airflow swirling, the tower was behind a layer of protective cover.He tried to break through, but every formation has its own method, and he couldn't break through the barrier.He was anxious in his heart, he had to ask the national teacher face to face about this matter, exactly how he wanted to deal with Lian Deng, if he didn't want such a good girl, he planned to take over completely.
He stood under the tower and looked at the exquisite octagonal body of the tower, with copper bells hanging on each corner.Because the wind and waves in the enchantment are calm, no matter how strong the wind is outside, the copper bell is silent.Not knowing if his voice could be heard, he rolled the horn in his hand and shouted at the dense door: "This subordinate has something important to ask to see you, please allow me to enter the tower to report."
The pagoda was still quiet, and he didn't hear anything outside the window when he was retreating. I'm afraid that even if he heard his cry, he might not necessarily respond.
Fang Zhou frowned, and tapped the barrier with his hand. It seemed to be empty, but it was as hard as iron.His cultivation base is not enough, and he can't break through for a while, but the matter is too urgent, and he doesn't have so much time to spend on it.Now there is only one basic method, which is to let people find strong logs and break through the invisible copper wall and iron wall like a siege.Even if he fails, he will always be touched by such a big movement!
The logs were quickly found, but everyone just waited and watched, and no one dared to do anything.Seeing this group of useless people getting angry, he repelled them all, picked up his luck, and slammed into the barrier with all his strength.
There was a bang, dizziness, and the two tiger's mouths were numb from the shock.He gritted his teeth and continued his efforts, bumping into each other and saying: "This subordinate has news about the lotus lamp that needs to be reported, please withdraw from the battle, if you delay, the rice will be ready to cook, and it will be useless for this subordinate to say."
It was another impact with all its strength, but it missed the air, and the momentum couldn't be stopped at once, and the person fell down on the terrace along with the log.This is good, at least the national teacher is willing to listen.He jumped up and rushed into the tower. The light inside the nine-storied tower was dim, but he was sitting on the futon with knotted seals, his eyelashes drooping, and his long hair snaking.
He didn't care about admiring the beautiful and beautiful appearance of the national teacher, so he crossed his hands in front of him and saluted, "Please forgive me for being rude, and it's a last resort to disturb Qingxiu..."
With his eyes still closed, he was out of breath, and squeezed out a word through his teeth, "Say."
Fang Zhou bowed, and said cautiously: "Today Lian Deng came to see me and said some inexplicable things. I was so shocked, I don't know if the seat knows..."
He looked at his expression for a moment, and finally opened his eyes with shock, "Is the lotus lantern back to Chang'an?"
Fangzhou said yes, "She came to the shrine the night before, but Mrs. Cuiwei said that she was unwilling to see her and did not take her in. After she left the shrine, she had nowhere to go. She spent the night by the water, and came to see her today." Me, ask me about the situation on the seat. I told her the truth, and she looked extremely sad, so let me tell the seat, and I will never see you again. There are children!" He looked at his face, originally It's just white, this time it's dusty in the blue, and it looks like it's almost hard to breathe.He swallowed with difficulty, "She said the child will handle it by himself, please rest assured."
He almost fainted, and said in horror: "What child? My child?"
Fang Zhou said yes, "The sword on the seat is not old, and the weapon is late..."
He didn't have time to pay attention to his inexplicable compliments, and his heart was on the lotus lantern and the child.He didn't expect things to develop like this, he clearly said that she was fine in the army, why did she suddenly come back to Chang'an and became pregnant again?what on earth is it?It seems that the problem lies with Cuiwei, she deceived him and took him for a fool!
What does it mean to cut off kindness and justice, and what does it mean not to see each other again?These few words simply blew him away.He got off the futon, his hands and feet were weak, he knelt on the footrest, and said in a trembling voice: "Where is she? I want to see her!"
Seeing him fall, Fang Zhou hurriedly stepped forward to help him, "What's the matter on the seat?"
He couldn't speak in tune, and tried his best to lift his finger out of the tower, "I want to see her, take me to see her." With this trouble, how much inside information does he not know?She will not run away from the army for nothing, she has always loved him deeply, and she will not say these heartless words easily.Must have been wronged, wronged too much to bear.Traveling for hundreds of miles while pregnant, but being turned away, just thinking about it makes him want to tear Cuiwei apart.
However, his movements are still not flexible, walking slowly is not a problem, but he can't be impatient, he can't run and jump, he can't ride a horse and drive a cart.It's strange, he can control the self-made formation outside the tower, but he can't control this body.It seems that the function has deteriorated so badly that it must be slowly restored from the beginning.
Fang Zhou was stunned by his condition. He had never seen the tottering national teacher, and he was stunned for a while and forgot what to do.
He shouted angrily, "Go and prepare the car!" Anxious, he grabbed a cane for support, and stumbled out of the nine-storied pagoda.
The light outside the tower was much brighter than inside, so he raised his sleeve to cover it, and it took him a long time to get used to it.Looking at everything around, the world is spinning and has no direction.Blame myself for making mistakes and hurting her again and again. Does she hate him to the bone now?His original intention was not like this, he hoped that she would stay in the army for the time being and go to her when he was able to move around.But this plan went wrong and developed completely in a direction he hadn't expected.He didn't know what would happen next, his heart was beating in his chest in a panic, unprecedented fear.
He once longed to have children, but in fact, his self-awareness was not high, and he didn't hold out much hope.Unexpectedly, only once, she really had it, but before she had time to be happy, she decided to give up.He clasped his hands, the muscles all over his body tensed, and he muttered like a raving: "It can't be like this...it can't be like this..." He dragged his broken body to find her and explained to her, hoping there was still time.
The carriage jolted violently, as if its bones were about to fall apart. He tried his best to hold the window and look out. The mountains and rivers quickly reversed, but he felt that the car was running too slowly, so he kept urging him to go faster and faster.
However, no matter how fast, it is not as fast as God.Some things are destined, and if you miss it, you miss it.For example, if you play chess, you have no regrets, and no one should blame fate.
Chang'an is Gyeonggi, and there are good doctors and midwives.Lian Deng asked someone to prescribe a prescription for abortion. The doctor said the method was very simple. He took out a palm-sized paper bag from the drawer, put it on the table and said: "Ten horseflies, burn them and grind them into powder, take them with warm wine. , the fetus will be born immediately."
The folk customs in Dali are open, and there are correspondingly more abortions among young women, so the secret recipes are all ready-made.Someone asked, just take out the paper bag, which is convenient and quick.
Lian Deng paid the money and came out of the medical office with neither joy nor sorrow on his face, but Tan Nu was very anxious, "You should think about it again, this kind of thing is very risky, and if it goes wrong, you will have to account for your life. If you want to keep him and we'll raise him together, he won't be like us."
Lian Deng's decision will never be changed. She lit the oil lamp and smiled at her, "You will marry General Xiao in the future and have your own children. You can't delay yourself because of us. Don't worry, nothing will happen. Even if I can't get over this hurdle, it's because God takes pity on me, and I can't bear to see me so tired anymore. Besides, I can't ruin my whole life because of my youth and frivolity, and I still want to find a good man to marry myself. Even the sheep herders would not want me."
Tan Nu knew that saying this would hurt her more than gouging out her heart. If it weren't for being really disappointed, no mother in the world would kill her child.She persuaded her not to move, so she had to watch her by the side.Lian Deng is an overly courageous person, determined to bid farewell to the past, and does not need her help in everything.She watched as she simmered the horseflies on the copper spoon, concentrating on one by one, as if holding a sacred ceremony.Tan Nu was very sad, and said in a low voice: "Go and lie down on the couch, let me do it."
She shook her head with a firm expression, "I will do my own business."
Spread out the rice paper, put the horsefly on it, and crush it finely, looking at the black foam for a while, I feel sick.At this moment, steam was rising from the wine hanger, she picked it up and poured a glass.Well, everything is ready, just one last step.Sitting upright, she took a deep breath.My mind was so chaotic, I lost control and cried bitterly.
She was reluctant. When facing the former national teacher in the army, she was full of fighting spirit because of this child.After several times of danger, she took him to escape the catastrophe and fled to Chang'an, but she didn't expect the last one to be in vain.She has nothing, and the resentment in her heart is so great that she is afraid.After the child is born, she cannot be a good mother, and the tragedy can be foreseen, so now she should cut the mess quickly.
The last bit of involvement between her and Lin Yuan, if it is broken, it will be completely over.She desperately wants a new life, but she is too tired and too hard to feel any happiness.She reached out and twisted the two corners of the rice paper, hesitated for a while, and finally poured the powder into her mouth.
Warm wine was served, and after swallowing, there was a sense of solidity after the dust had settled.She smashed the wine cup on the ground in front of the mat, and it fell apart with a bang, thus completely breaking the line with the past.
Staggering to his feet, he returned to lie down on the couch.It was so cold that I wrapped myself in the quilt tightly.Tan Nu burnt charcoal for her, and poured her feet on her stomach.She closed her eyes and felt it carefully, and after about a stick of incense, she began to have a faint pain, which spread from her lower abdomen to her limbs and bones.Gradually it became more and more intense, this kind of pain was a piercing pain, stretching from the waist to the abdomen, it was indescribable.This was ten times stronger than the times she had had menstruation before.She endured the cold sweat, but bit the corner of the quilt without saying a word.If you do something wrong, you have to bear the consequences. The more painful it is, the more unforgettable it will be, and you will never make the same mistake again in the future.
It's like a person who has been tempered thousands of times and survived a round is almost torn to pieces.Fortunately, it didn't last long, just two cups of tea, when suddenly a warm current gushed out, she breathed a sigh of relief, the sharp pain lessened, and it was probably over.
When the body is empty, the mind is also empty.She was lying there crying like a river, while Tan Nu kept saying, "Don't cry, you won't be able to recover from the injury in the confinement period. The past is over, and everything starts from the beginning today."
She put a mattress on her back and fed her ginger candied jujube catechu.The child who has just fallen needs to be warmed up and not caught in the cold.The lotus lantern couldn't move, so she came to clean it up for her.He lifted the quilt and took out the cushion under her body, and saw a small human figure in a big pool of blood, about two inches long, so pitiful!
She didn't let the lotus lantern look at it, for fear that she would be sad.He found a white jade rouge box, put the child in it, and buried it under the peach tree.The prepared incense candles and tributes were all placed, and she paid obeisance, "Don't blame your mother, it's not her fault. Go find a good family again. In the future, you will be full of chariots and four horses, and you will be appointed as a marquis."
Just as she was talking, there was an eager knock on the door in the front yard, she went out and asked who it was, and the sound of boats came from outside the door, "Little lady, open the door quickly, has the lotus lamp come back?"
Tannu held his breath in his heart, and said in a rough voice: "What is Chunguan here for? I have already said that I have no relationship with you Taishang Shrine, so don't bother me any more!"
This time, he changed his voice, sounding a little weak, and tried his best to say: "Tan Nu opened the door, it's me."
Tan Nu's heartbeat missed two beats, could it be that she heard it wrong, why did she seem to be a national teacher?She leaned into the crack of the door to look, sure enough, it was still the familiar face, but the brows and eyes were clouded, not the same as before.
She hated him in her heart, she made the lotus lamp so bad, how dare she come?Now that you're here, why not earlier?It's too late now.She said in an evil voice: "National teacher, please go back. Lian Deng said that I will never see you again in this life, and it is useless for you to come."
He didn't listen, but kept knocking on the door, "Let me see her, I have something to say to her."
Tan Nu stepped back a few steps and said: "The national teacher is late, if he was one step earlier, there might be a turnaround, now... let's go back!"
He stood there in a daze, what does it mean to be late?Is the child gone?Unable to support his body, he clasped his hands on the door, slid down, and knelt on the sill.The sky seemed to be getting lower, and his mind was also numb. Suddenly, he felt a sense of defeat that was over, covering him like a mountain and a sea.He came to help him from left to right, but was waved away by him. He knocked on the door stubbornly, chattering: "Let me meet her, I have something to say to her... Open the door, please..."
He is a proud person, and he would not say that begging word in a leisurely manner. Now that his posture is so low, not only the people in Jingu, but even Tan Nu feel bitter.But what to do, she saw Lian Deng's suffering, and she felt sorry for her, so she hated him even more.She didn't open the door, but added an extra latch, "Liandeng is currently weak, and needs to be taken care of. The national teacher really wants to see her, and listen to her after she recovers. I dare not be the master of this, and I will not open the door for you. It’s just that if the national teacher still remembers the old love, please think about it carefully, she has something to do to you, why should she be treated like this by you!”
He was on the other side of the door, panting lowly with his chest pressed, his white robe was stained with mud and sand, he knocked on the door vigorously and said: "There is a misunderstanding inside, let me see her, I will explain to her... ...My heart is going to break, you open the door!"
After all, he was still reluctant to part with this feeling, but it was too late.Tan Nu turned his head to look at the clouds in the sky. The clouds were dense and it was going to snow again.
She sighed, "The last thing you should do is to leave her in the army and throw her to others in order to find the "Sutra of Crossing the Dead". Lian Deng is a good girl, not only you like it, but also others. She spent so much effort After escaping, you rushed from Longzhou to Shenheyuan to look for you in two days and one night, but you closed the door and didn’t even give her a place to rest, so you drove her out, why are you still looking for her now?”
After he listened quietly, the phrase "other people will like it" shocked him quite a bit.Does that other person refer to Master?So that's how it turned out... so it turned out that way... He patted harder and took out the last of his strength, "I know I did something wrong, let me meet her, don't let me die with regrets."
There is no movement inside, maybe people have left.Fang Zhou looked at it for a long time and was very anxious. The square wall here passed by just by simply throwing it, why bother to waste so much talk!He bowed his hands to the national teacher, "The subordinates go in and open the door for the seat, first see the lotus lamp and then talk..."
As soon as the voice fell, the two doors opened, and Tan Nu stood behind the door with a cold face.Originally, I wanted to say a few harsh words, but seeing that the national teacher needed support even to stand, I forgot what I wanted to say.Then he thought about his scheming, who knew if it was just pretending, so he said angrily: "I can only open the courtyard door, I'm not sure if she will see you or not. But I have something to say first, she can't stand the excitement now, if she doesn't want to meet , please don't force her, the national teacher."
He didn't answer her, and walked in in a daze, "Where's my child? Is he still here?"
With a sore nose, Tan Nu turned around and led him into the back yard, pointed to the peach blossom tree from a distance, "There."
He let go and staggered to the left and right, the newly built small tomb hurt his eyes.He sat down paralyzed and dug with his hands, and found a white jade box, which he held in his palm but dared not to open.
Tan Nu walked over with his sleeves tucked up, and said in a low voice: "The national teacher may not be able to empathize with everything she has experienced, but I can. You say you love her, but in fact you only love yourself. If you care about her, you shouldn't Forget that she is a woman, and you need to cherish and love her all the time. Why do girls in the world look for a man? They want to have someone to rely on, so that they can escape the wind and rain. But what did the national teacher do for her? Coax her when she needs it, use it Let her fend for herself when she can't reach it, why does she still wait for you? The National Teacher will do yin and yang divination, didn't you count that there will be today?"
If it was normal, who would have the guts to accuse him openly?Tan Nu was also ready to fight him to the death, but when he raised his eyes, his pale face and slack eyes seemed to be no longer like him.After looking at her carefully for a moment, he lowered his head and stroked the jade box, his fingers trembling with dirt, slowly opened the box.
No matter how much courage he mustered in advance, the moment of real meeting still made him overwhelmed with pain.His child has just turned three months, such a weak life, if there is no one, it will be gone.He looked hard at him, making out his hands and feet, the fingers and toes were clearly visible.He raised his head and felt something slip from the corner of his eye, falling into his lapel.He didn't know what to do, he just looked at the dark sky and murmured: "She's so cruel... so cruel..."
If the child is there, it can be the bond between them. After the child is gone, their relationship is like a candle in the wind, which may be extinguished at any time.
The self in the past was more confident, had a beautiful appearance, a noble status, could call the wind and rain, and could control the court.But now he has fallen to this point, unable to control his body, needs to rely on others for everything, and then lost his beloved woman and child... How could this happen!He couldn't figure it out.After sitting there for a while, he covered the box and placed it close to his heart.He can't do anything for the child anymore, at least let him not be cold and feel Aye's warmth.
He staggered to his feet, not wanting them to follow, but went back by himself.The yard is a small courtyard, there are not so many rooms, there is one room with a closed door and a wind chime hanging on the door, it should be her bedroom!
He stepped forward leaning on a cane, and the door was ajar.He stretched out his hand to push, but he paused as soon as he touched it. He was afraid of making her angry. She was too weak now to be angry.He stood still and called her through the door, "Liandeng, I'm here."
Lian Deng heard his voice in a daze, thinking that she was dreaming.When I was a little more awake, I realized that it was true, he was here.
"You let me see you, I have something to say to you." He almost begged, scratching the mullion on the door and said, "It's my fault, I'm here to apologize to you. Are you okay? I Don't worry, let me see you."
She propped herself up a little bit, feeling bleak in her heart.He finally appeared, but what's the point of meeting now?The child is gone, and the pain she has experienced is over here.It's like after Nirvana cleansed my heart. Except for the pity for the child, I no longer feel love or hate for him.She sighed, "National Teacher, please go back, there is no need to see you again, and goodbye will be a stranger."
His heart sank, and he stood stiffly, not knowing what to do.She blamed him, he knew it.No matter how indifferent her tone was, he still firmly believed that she loved him.So we must meet, and when we meet, we can speak clearly. The only love he has lived for so many years cannot just end like this.
"Listen to my explanation, okay? Without the child, I will burn inside, but for me now you are the most important thing. Lian Deng, I love you, even on the verge of life and death, I have never wavered." He He said eagerly, "I was seriously injured that day in the ghost battle, I couldn't move, and I couldn't say goodbye to you. I thought I would die, but Cuiwei brought me back to the Jingu. Stay in the nine-storied pagoda to cultivate. I can't go out, and I worry about you all the time, so I can only listen to the outside news through Cuiwei. She only tells me that you are fine, that you are pregnant, or that you have been wronged, all of which are hidden from me. I don't I know that you have returned to Chang'an, and I don't even know that you have been to the shrine, otherwise I will crawl out to see you even if I crawl... Lian Deng, I miss you very much. If you let me go in and see you, even if you want me to die immediately , I have no regrets."
He burst into tears at the end, and Lian Deng could hear the sadness in his voice, but the deal is done, so what's the use of talking more?In the process of falling in love with her, he was always full of calculations. At the last moment, in order not to arouse King Ding's suspicion, he left her alone and let another national teacher, Li Daitao, fool her.Wouldn't he be worried or sad if her love was paid to others by mistake?Since she was seriously injured and unable to move, why didn't the Lingtai Langs come to pick her up?It was clearly because of his selfish desires that he was thinking about the "Book of Crossing the Dead"!Didn't she suffer enough and still choose to trust him?She didn't want to go on like this, the burden on her shoulders was finally unloaded, and she couldn't bear it anymore.His life and death have nothing to do with her from now on.She needs a new life, let go of all the misfortunes, and live like before, with nothing to worry about.
He begged hard, but she was unmoved.After the previous round of pain and crushing, my spirit was greatly weakened and I was very tired.She didn't want to listen to what he said anymore, she turned sideways and said, "Your words have cleared up all the misunderstandings. I know you can't help yourself, and I don't blame you. But the damage caused is hard to heal, and I can't forget it." , and I can't get along with you as if nothing happened. Have you finished your sentence? Just go after you finish, I'm too tired to deal with you. "
He panicked, why couldn't he hear the ups and downs in her tone?It's such a small thing, but it can hurt deeply.He tried his best to persist, but his heart was still cut, and his flesh gradually became bloody.
This doesn't work, she can't see anyone when talking through the window, so she gradually let go of it.He boldly pushed the door, "I'm coming in, anyway, let me see you."
She knew it was useless to refuse, so let him see him if he really wanted to.This should be the last request. After seeing it, put it down two or two, and there is no other obsession.
She didn't speak, but he still had hope in his heart.Stepping in, he saw her lying on her back. He was familiar with that figure, with thick black hair and exquisite ears.He walked over with difficulty and squatted down in front of her couch, "The lotus lamp..."
She turned around, looked at him with distant eyes, without any emotion, "how are you doing?"
He was stunned, obviously he had a lot to say, but he couldn't talk about it when he saw her.He only felt guilty, and he was ashamed to face her.Her face was frighteningly pale, and it was all his fault.He put his forehead on her shoulder, choked up and said: "I'm sorry for you, everything is my fault. You scold me, hit me! I would rather you hate me and don't ignore me like this."
She narrowed her eyes slightly to look at him, he looked embarrassed.In her memory, he was always glamorous and impeccable. Now his hair is loose and his body is covered in mud. If it were different before, she would be so heartbroken, but now he doesn't even have the slightest bit of reluctance.He was like a stranger to her, no matter how much he called, her mood was calm and could not make any waves.
She stepped back slightly, "Don't be like this, don't forget your pride, don't humble yourself in front of me, it's unnecessary. If you insist on seeing me, I can't get up and stop you. Now that I've seen you, then Just go! In front of me, you always remind me of the humiliation I have suffered, and make me feel worse than death."
He said no, he stubbornly found her hand, let her touch his face, and said in a trembling voice: "Liandeng, you are my wife, there is no woman in the world who wants to divorce her husband! I did something wrong, you If you want to fight or kill, I don't have a single complaint, but I just can't let me go. I can't describe my feelings for you, but I know I can't live without you. I originally wanted to pick you up when I recovered, but I didn't expect the plan I can't keep up with the changes. Look at me, I am like this now, and I hate myself too." He suddenly raised her hand, slapped himself hard, and then choked up like a child, "I would rather die now, I Knowing that you are disappointed in me, you want to show your determination. I used to be too self-righteous, relying on your love for me to act recklessly, and now I regret it. Please give me another chance. It doesn’t matter if the child is gone, we can Rebirth. You want to go back to Dunhuang, get healthy and we will leave immediately. I don’t want to be a national teacher anymore, return the position to others, and we will return to Mingsha Mountain. Even if it is only three years, let me accompany you for three years, okay? "
She turned her face away in disgust, "What about three years later? You are dead, and I am alone again, and I have to cry every day. Don't you understand that your existence means nothing but pain to me? I'm tired, I don't want to pester you anymore." She pointed to the door and said, "Go, go now. I don't want to see you, a person with no future talking to me..." She grimaced, "You Also worthy!"
He stood there in a daze, his face turned blue and white, embarrassing and ashamed.
That's right, he is a person without a future, and he can't find it in the "Book of Crossing the Dead", so he can only die.Even if he can be found, if the master has selfish intentions, it seems that he will have no hope of resurrection.A dying person is begging for love. If he is not with her, it is obviously consuming her youth. It is human nature for her not to want to.But why meet her before checkmate?Sometimes he calms down and looks back at his life, he is kind to everyone in the world, he has never done anything to hurt others, but he is cruel to her alone.In order to take that half of the scriptures, he almost killed her, and for the other half of the scriptures, he threw her alone in the army of one hundred thousand, using her to stabilize King Ding and set the words of King Ding.He couldn't figure out what he was thinking at that time, she was just a teenage girl, and he bullied her so wantonly.It's all right now, when it's time to repay, the feelings are not enough to fill, so I have to pay for his dignity and life.
He was dying of illness and couldn't get away, so he could only continue to beg her, "No matter how you scold me, whether it's insidious or cunning, or shameless, I will never separate from you."
She stood up abruptly, "What else do you want? The child is gone, you and I have settled. You are the same as your master, both are old monsters! I am tired of you and don't want to see you again. If you If you don't give up, I'll leave tomorrow, and I won't let you know where I'm going, if you don't believe me, just try!"
There was no trace of nostalgia in her words anymore, he was silenced by her drinking, and found that no matter whether it was tears or slaps, they could not win back her heart.He didn't believe it, held her hand tightly, and kissed her, "Liandeng, don't you love me anymore?"
His lips touched her cheek, and she felt sick and pushed him so hard that he fell to the ground.It turned out that he was really powerless and had become so vulnerable.She was a little sad, but her attitude was unwavering, and she scolded fiercely, "Go back to your Supreme Shrine! Don't appear in front of me in your lifetime, or don't blame me for having no eyes."
He sat there paralyzed, unable to speak, felt that the flesh under his clothes was twitching everywhere, and he couldn't even stand up.In fact, not hating is more terrible than hating.If there is hatred, at least it proves that she still has feelings for him.But now she just hates him, hates his appearance, hates his touch, he is like a dirty filth to her, and she feels insulted if he is contaminated.
Now how to do?He has no clue.Holding the cabinet up with difficulty, he said softly, "You are tired, then have a good rest! I won't go far, and I will guard you outside. If you need anything, just call me, and I will do it for you."
He walked out slowly and closed the door behind his back.When he reached the eaves, the bone-piercing wind made him shiver.It's snowing again, and the snow scum is flying, thin, like sprinkling salt.He stood with his head up for a while, the cold flakes splashed on his face and melted in an instant.He sat down in a corner and needed some energy to organize everything that had happened during this period.The same sect of more than a hundred years actually framed him at a critical moment.And Master, what did he do to Lian Deng to force her to flee and travel hundreds of miles to find him.
He sat there contemplating, with a relaxed look, never returning to the look of Zhilan Yushu in the past.Fang Zhou went over to cover him with an umbrella, and said in a low voice, "I ordered someone to tidy up a room, take a seat and rest there!"
He shook his head, "If you go too far, if she calls me, I won't be able to hear you."
How could she still call him!Fang Zhou couldn't bear to pour cold water on him, thought for a while and said, "Then I'll let them light a pot of charcoal, so as not to catch the cold while sitting in the wind."
He didn't answer, and ordered in a little silence: "Pass a letter to Qiuguan, and let him tell me everything that happened after I left. Especially..." He looked back, with a knife in his heart As if, gritted his teeth and said, "The entanglement between Master and Lian Deng, explain one by one, don't hide it."
Fang Zhou was obviously also surprised. If there is a branch here, it is probably because the old monster has not touched a woman for hundreds of years. A beautiful and lovely girl like Lian Deng mistakenly took him as a seat. The old monster aroused his heart and decided to ignore it. He accepted it politely.If this is the case, does the seat count as shooting itself in the foot?But he never dared to talk about it, so he leaned over and said yes, "Move the place on the seat. I'll send Tan Nu to come, so I can ask her for some information first. I'll send someone to guard here, just in case there is any movement on the lotus lantern." , Order them to report back immediately." Seeing that he did not object, he hurriedly stepped forward to support him, glanced at him, and said bitterly, "Actually, all this is caused by the fact that the seat does not trust the subordinates, if you let me know about your injury , I will also handle the contact with Xia Guan and Qiu Guan, so there will be no misunderstanding like today."
He turned his head and gave him a white look, "You are a big mouth, let you know, and everyone in the shrine will know about it. It's not only you, but also Lu Qing that I'm hiding from."
Lu Qing was originally a servant of the Daming Palace. When the previous head of the Jingu Palace returned to his hometown, the Holy Majesty appointed him to take over at the Jingu Palace.For so many years, he has obeyed His Majesty's orders, but he is also afraid of him. Knowing that he is doing well, he may not dare to disclose his return to Chang'an.But if it is known that he has lost all his skills, it is a major event that concerns the fate of the country, and he must brave the wind and rain to spread the news to Daming Palace.
Fang Zhou has nothing to say, it is true that he is not cautious sometimes, the national teacher understands him, but he cannot trust him, it seems that he cannot blame others.
He touched his nose and helped him into the ear room.Going to Tan Nu again, Tan Nu was very disgusted with their insistence on not leaving, and was unwilling to talk to them.
"Do you think that Lian Deng will be fine after leaving the national teacher?" Fangzhou leaned on the pillar with his arms in his arms and said, "Don't forget that there are two national teachers in this world. The younger one's defeat is in the hands of the old one. think about it!"
Tan Nu retorted, "Did she sell to their master and apprentice? Either the old or the young, why?" But after thinking about it, what Lian Deng told her later really shocked her.The child is gone, wouldn't the old monster in the army be happy to die when he found out!This matter should not be concealed, let the two national teachers fight, and the lotus lantern will have a chance of survival.
She then put the boat in front of the national teacher, he was sitting on the mat, his eyes looked dead.She mentioned it in her heart, guessing that she broke up with Lian Deng and was greatly stimulated.But it's all self-inflicted, and there is nothing to sympathize with.Her attitude was not very good, her expression and standing posture were a bit arrogant.
He didn't care about it, just asked her, "My master treats the lotus lamp with respect, does he have the feeling of a son and daughter?"
She felt that there was nothing to evade, so she said bluntly, "After the death of King Ding, Lian Deng noticed that there was something wrong with him, so he imprisoned her in a big tent, and sent people to guard him day and night, and she was not allowed to leave half a step. Deng is obsessed with her, probably because he is in love with her, and he intends to replace you. I was worried because I hadn’t seen Lian Deng for a long time. Come out. It’s a pity that I couldn’t escape that time, and he was found the next day. Lian Deng begged him to let me go, and went back to the camp with him. When he arrived in the army, he found that she was pregnant, so he prescribed a prescription to have the baby Xia Guan knew about this, and the success of Lian Deng's escape was also due to Xia Guan's help. Unexpectedly, after going through hardships to the Taishang Shrine, he was blocked by Mrs. Cuiwei. That child is so pitiful. He was able to kill him, but his mother killed him with ten horseflies. Now that the national teacher knows the inside story, how does he feel?"
How do you feel?For the rival in love who wanted to kill his flesh and blood and take his wife away, all the relationship between master and apprentice has been thrown out of the blue.Cuiwei slowly learned how to take care of her, since Wang Lang liked her, he abolished her martial arts and just married her off.As for that "benefactor", the dead soul he summoned naturally has a way to send him away.
Revenge is not difficult for him, the biggest difficulty now is the lotus lamp, how can he untie the knot in her heart?The child who had tried everything possible to save had to be destroyed in her own hands in the end. This heart disease would accompany her for the rest of her life, and it would be difficult to recover from it.
In the evening, the wind blows against the window lattice, and the peach blossom paper swells up like a blown air, and it moves with a popping sound.The lotus lamp turned over and looked at the sky outside the window dimly. It was still dark, only a night watch lantern gave off a faint light under the eaves.
She took a deep breath, the pain has subsided, but the limbs are heavy.Tan Nu said that miscarriage is not easier than childbirth, and the body wears a lot, which is true.She had never felt so tired before, and she broke out in rounds of sweating.The close-fitting underwear is never dry, and if you move it a little, the air outside the quilt will get in, and it will be chilly to the bone.She closed her eyes again, and there was a white chrysanthemum in the pillow. The white chrysanthemum can see and hear people, but when she leaned on it, there was an earth-shattering movement.Sleeping in that round nest, I returned to Prince Ding's Mansion in the chaos, and it was still the familiar courtyard with luxuriant grass, trees and flowers.Under the tree stood a beautiful girl in her twenties, holding a jade-like doll in her arms.She was very curious, so she walked over to have a look, wanting to touch her, but the girl stepped aside and smiled at her from across a path, "I happen to be lonely all by myself, and life will be more interesting with Bao'er."
She stared at the child in a daze, as if she had known him before.The child seemed very happy to see her, flapped his arms, yelled, and poured all his strength towards her.She wanted to go forward, but she was in the way of the girl, rubbing her hands helplessly, not daring to approach.The girl smiled, "Since you don't want him anymore, don't worry about him anymore. In life, ups and downs are inevitable. There are only endless blessings and no endless suffering. Let's go, you still have A good life should be rewarded with suffering.”
Only then did she realize that this was originally her child, and she regretted it in her heart, but it was too late.She sobbed and stretched out her hand, "I seem to have done something wrong again..."
The girl shook her head, "You didn't do anything wrong, there are many things that are predetermined. It's like the fate between you and my mother and daughter. When the fate is over, we can only go our separate ways."
She looked at her in surprise, her eyebrows were warm and peaceful, and she said softly: "Just don't worry, I will take good care of him. You should start your own life again, you are so young, there is still a long way to go!"
She was so sad that there was a dull pain in her chest.After struggling and struggling, he suddenly woke up and stared blankly at the roof for a long time.
It will come to an end, I hope so.Bao'er has found her grandmother, and she can treat it as real, and Liao can be used as comfort.What she is thinking about now is King Ding's Zi Palace, so she will always follow the army around until the battle is over?People always have to pay attention to burying themselves in peace.And Chenhe, I don't know what his plans are after receiving her letter.Aye is dead, he guards Suiye City empty-handed, and there will be another tragedy in the future.
(End of this chapter)
The sword on the seat is not old, and the weapon is late...
He was dazed for a long time before he came to his senses. If he hadn't misunderstood, did Lian Deng have a child on the seat?How come?Zuo Shang is not young, and he still has such abilities, which is really admirable.
But the admiration is the admiration, Lian Deng seems to have his own ideas about the child's fate, so does the seat know?Since someone is pregnant, it seems that it is not a gentleman's behavior to ignore it!Regarding the fate of Lian Deng, she was innocent from the beginning to the end. She was not willing to get involved in this dispute, and she was at fault here.According to him, since you decide to use it, don't be emotional with the chess pieces.Any harm is fine, but there should be no debts in love. If you don't want to be with others for a long time, why destroy others' innocence?Such a pure child has been stained, and now she has nowhere to go, what should she do?
After all, he still has some feelings for Lian Deng, and although he has played with her a few times, he has no bad intentions.Seeing that she is in such a mess now, he can't stand by and watch.Fortunately, the ceremony of offering sacrifices to heaven was over, so he turned around and called his nephew to lead the horse, and rushed back to the Taishang Shrine in a hurry.
The nine-storied pagoda is on the east side, some distance away from the palace gate, he asked the attendants as he walked, "Is Mrs. Cuiwei in the palace?"
The attendant said: "The madam has been summoned by the empress to the Daming Palace, and she has been away for about half an hour. Does Chun Guan have anything to see her?"
Fang Zhou didn't have time to explain, and hurried to the nine-storied pagoda.Stopped and looked, saw the airflow swirling, the tower was behind a layer of protective cover.He tried to break through, but every formation has its own method, and he couldn't break through the barrier.He was anxious in his heart, he had to ask the national teacher face to face about this matter, exactly how he wanted to deal with Lian Deng, if he didn't want such a good girl, he planned to take over completely.
He stood under the tower and looked at the exquisite octagonal body of the tower, with copper bells hanging on each corner.Because the wind and waves in the enchantment are calm, no matter how strong the wind is outside, the copper bell is silent.Not knowing if his voice could be heard, he rolled the horn in his hand and shouted at the dense door: "This subordinate has something important to ask to see you, please allow me to enter the tower to report."
The pagoda was still quiet, and he didn't hear anything outside the window when he was retreating. I'm afraid that even if he heard his cry, he might not necessarily respond.
Fang Zhou frowned, and tapped the barrier with his hand. It seemed to be empty, but it was as hard as iron.His cultivation base is not enough, and he can't break through for a while, but the matter is too urgent, and he doesn't have so much time to spend on it.Now there is only one basic method, which is to let people find strong logs and break through the invisible copper wall and iron wall like a siege.Even if he fails, he will always be touched by such a big movement!
The logs were quickly found, but everyone just waited and watched, and no one dared to do anything.Seeing this group of useless people getting angry, he repelled them all, picked up his luck, and slammed into the barrier with all his strength.
There was a bang, dizziness, and the two tiger's mouths were numb from the shock.He gritted his teeth and continued his efforts, bumping into each other and saying: "This subordinate has news about the lotus lamp that needs to be reported, please withdraw from the battle, if you delay, the rice will be ready to cook, and it will be useless for this subordinate to say."
It was another impact with all its strength, but it missed the air, and the momentum couldn't be stopped at once, and the person fell down on the terrace along with the log.This is good, at least the national teacher is willing to listen.He jumped up and rushed into the tower. The light inside the nine-storied tower was dim, but he was sitting on the futon with knotted seals, his eyelashes drooping, and his long hair snaking.
He didn't care about admiring the beautiful and beautiful appearance of the national teacher, so he crossed his hands in front of him and saluted, "Please forgive me for being rude, and it's a last resort to disturb Qingxiu..."
With his eyes still closed, he was out of breath, and squeezed out a word through his teeth, "Say."
Fang Zhou bowed, and said cautiously: "Today Lian Deng came to see me and said some inexplicable things. I was so shocked, I don't know if the seat knows..."
He looked at his expression for a moment, and finally opened his eyes with shock, "Is the lotus lantern back to Chang'an?"
Fangzhou said yes, "She came to the shrine the night before, but Mrs. Cuiwei said that she was unwilling to see her and did not take her in. After she left the shrine, she had nowhere to go. She spent the night by the water, and came to see her today." Me, ask me about the situation on the seat. I told her the truth, and she looked extremely sad, so let me tell the seat, and I will never see you again. There are children!" He looked at his face, originally It's just white, this time it's dusty in the blue, and it looks like it's almost hard to breathe.He swallowed with difficulty, "She said the child will handle it by himself, please rest assured."
He almost fainted, and said in horror: "What child? My child?"
Fang Zhou said yes, "The sword on the seat is not old, and the weapon is late..."
He didn't have time to pay attention to his inexplicable compliments, and his heart was on the lotus lantern and the child.He didn't expect things to develop like this, he clearly said that she was fine in the army, why did she suddenly come back to Chang'an and became pregnant again?what on earth is it?It seems that the problem lies with Cuiwei, she deceived him and took him for a fool!
What does it mean to cut off kindness and justice, and what does it mean not to see each other again?These few words simply blew him away.He got off the futon, his hands and feet were weak, he knelt on the footrest, and said in a trembling voice: "Where is she? I want to see her!"
Seeing him fall, Fang Zhou hurriedly stepped forward to help him, "What's the matter on the seat?"
He couldn't speak in tune, and tried his best to lift his finger out of the tower, "I want to see her, take me to see her." With this trouble, how much inside information does he not know?She will not run away from the army for nothing, she has always loved him deeply, and she will not say these heartless words easily.Must have been wronged, wronged too much to bear.Traveling for hundreds of miles while pregnant, but being turned away, just thinking about it makes him want to tear Cuiwei apart.
However, his movements are still not flexible, walking slowly is not a problem, but he can't be impatient, he can't run and jump, he can't ride a horse and drive a cart.It's strange, he can control the self-made formation outside the tower, but he can't control this body.It seems that the function has deteriorated so badly that it must be slowly restored from the beginning.
Fang Zhou was stunned by his condition. He had never seen the tottering national teacher, and he was stunned for a while and forgot what to do.
He shouted angrily, "Go and prepare the car!" Anxious, he grabbed a cane for support, and stumbled out of the nine-storied pagoda.
The light outside the tower was much brighter than inside, so he raised his sleeve to cover it, and it took him a long time to get used to it.Looking at everything around, the world is spinning and has no direction.Blame myself for making mistakes and hurting her again and again. Does she hate him to the bone now?His original intention was not like this, he hoped that she would stay in the army for the time being and go to her when he was able to move around.But this plan went wrong and developed completely in a direction he hadn't expected.He didn't know what would happen next, his heart was beating in his chest in a panic, unprecedented fear.
He once longed to have children, but in fact, his self-awareness was not high, and he didn't hold out much hope.Unexpectedly, only once, she really had it, but before she had time to be happy, she decided to give up.He clasped his hands, the muscles all over his body tensed, and he muttered like a raving: "It can't be like this...it can't be like this..." He dragged his broken body to find her and explained to her, hoping there was still time.
The carriage jolted violently, as if its bones were about to fall apart. He tried his best to hold the window and look out. The mountains and rivers quickly reversed, but he felt that the car was running too slowly, so he kept urging him to go faster and faster.
However, no matter how fast, it is not as fast as God.Some things are destined, and if you miss it, you miss it.For example, if you play chess, you have no regrets, and no one should blame fate.
Chang'an is Gyeonggi, and there are good doctors and midwives.Lian Deng asked someone to prescribe a prescription for abortion. The doctor said the method was very simple. He took out a palm-sized paper bag from the drawer, put it on the table and said: "Ten horseflies, burn them and grind them into powder, take them with warm wine. , the fetus will be born immediately."
The folk customs in Dali are open, and there are correspondingly more abortions among young women, so the secret recipes are all ready-made.Someone asked, just take out the paper bag, which is convenient and quick.
Lian Deng paid the money and came out of the medical office with neither joy nor sorrow on his face, but Tan Nu was very anxious, "You should think about it again, this kind of thing is very risky, and if it goes wrong, you will have to account for your life. If you want to keep him and we'll raise him together, he won't be like us."
Lian Deng's decision will never be changed. She lit the oil lamp and smiled at her, "You will marry General Xiao in the future and have your own children. You can't delay yourself because of us. Don't worry, nothing will happen. Even if I can't get over this hurdle, it's because God takes pity on me, and I can't bear to see me so tired anymore. Besides, I can't ruin my whole life because of my youth and frivolity, and I still want to find a good man to marry myself. Even the sheep herders would not want me."
Tan Nu knew that saying this would hurt her more than gouging out her heart. If it weren't for being really disappointed, no mother in the world would kill her child.She persuaded her not to move, so she had to watch her by the side.Lian Deng is an overly courageous person, determined to bid farewell to the past, and does not need her help in everything.She watched as she simmered the horseflies on the copper spoon, concentrating on one by one, as if holding a sacred ceremony.Tan Nu was very sad, and said in a low voice: "Go and lie down on the couch, let me do it."
She shook her head with a firm expression, "I will do my own business."
Spread out the rice paper, put the horsefly on it, and crush it finely, looking at the black foam for a while, I feel sick.At this moment, steam was rising from the wine hanger, she picked it up and poured a glass.Well, everything is ready, just one last step.Sitting upright, she took a deep breath.My mind was so chaotic, I lost control and cried bitterly.
She was reluctant. When facing the former national teacher in the army, she was full of fighting spirit because of this child.After several times of danger, she took him to escape the catastrophe and fled to Chang'an, but she didn't expect the last one to be in vain.She has nothing, and the resentment in her heart is so great that she is afraid.After the child is born, she cannot be a good mother, and the tragedy can be foreseen, so now she should cut the mess quickly.
The last bit of involvement between her and Lin Yuan, if it is broken, it will be completely over.She desperately wants a new life, but she is too tired and too hard to feel any happiness.She reached out and twisted the two corners of the rice paper, hesitated for a while, and finally poured the powder into her mouth.
Warm wine was served, and after swallowing, there was a sense of solidity after the dust had settled.She smashed the wine cup on the ground in front of the mat, and it fell apart with a bang, thus completely breaking the line with the past.
Staggering to his feet, he returned to lie down on the couch.It was so cold that I wrapped myself in the quilt tightly.Tan Nu burnt charcoal for her, and poured her feet on her stomach.She closed her eyes and felt it carefully, and after about a stick of incense, she began to have a faint pain, which spread from her lower abdomen to her limbs and bones.Gradually it became more and more intense, this kind of pain was a piercing pain, stretching from the waist to the abdomen, it was indescribable.This was ten times stronger than the times she had had menstruation before.She endured the cold sweat, but bit the corner of the quilt without saying a word.If you do something wrong, you have to bear the consequences. The more painful it is, the more unforgettable it will be, and you will never make the same mistake again in the future.
It's like a person who has been tempered thousands of times and survived a round is almost torn to pieces.Fortunately, it didn't last long, just two cups of tea, when suddenly a warm current gushed out, she breathed a sigh of relief, the sharp pain lessened, and it was probably over.
When the body is empty, the mind is also empty.She was lying there crying like a river, while Tan Nu kept saying, "Don't cry, you won't be able to recover from the injury in the confinement period. The past is over, and everything starts from the beginning today."
She put a mattress on her back and fed her ginger candied jujube catechu.The child who has just fallen needs to be warmed up and not caught in the cold.The lotus lantern couldn't move, so she came to clean it up for her.He lifted the quilt and took out the cushion under her body, and saw a small human figure in a big pool of blood, about two inches long, so pitiful!
She didn't let the lotus lantern look at it, for fear that she would be sad.He found a white jade rouge box, put the child in it, and buried it under the peach tree.The prepared incense candles and tributes were all placed, and she paid obeisance, "Don't blame your mother, it's not her fault. Go find a good family again. In the future, you will be full of chariots and four horses, and you will be appointed as a marquis."
Just as she was talking, there was an eager knock on the door in the front yard, she went out and asked who it was, and the sound of boats came from outside the door, "Little lady, open the door quickly, has the lotus lamp come back?"
Tannu held his breath in his heart, and said in a rough voice: "What is Chunguan here for? I have already said that I have no relationship with you Taishang Shrine, so don't bother me any more!"
This time, he changed his voice, sounding a little weak, and tried his best to say: "Tan Nu opened the door, it's me."
Tan Nu's heartbeat missed two beats, could it be that she heard it wrong, why did she seem to be a national teacher?She leaned into the crack of the door to look, sure enough, it was still the familiar face, but the brows and eyes were clouded, not the same as before.
She hated him in her heart, she made the lotus lamp so bad, how dare she come?Now that you're here, why not earlier?It's too late now.She said in an evil voice: "National teacher, please go back. Lian Deng said that I will never see you again in this life, and it is useless for you to come."
He didn't listen, but kept knocking on the door, "Let me see her, I have something to say to her."
Tan Nu stepped back a few steps and said: "The national teacher is late, if he was one step earlier, there might be a turnaround, now... let's go back!"
He stood there in a daze, what does it mean to be late?Is the child gone?Unable to support his body, he clasped his hands on the door, slid down, and knelt on the sill.The sky seemed to be getting lower, and his mind was also numb. Suddenly, he felt a sense of defeat that was over, covering him like a mountain and a sea.He came to help him from left to right, but was waved away by him. He knocked on the door stubbornly, chattering: "Let me meet her, I have something to say to her... Open the door, please..."
He is a proud person, and he would not say that begging word in a leisurely manner. Now that his posture is so low, not only the people in Jingu, but even Tan Nu feel bitter.But what to do, she saw Lian Deng's suffering, and she felt sorry for her, so she hated him even more.She didn't open the door, but added an extra latch, "Liandeng is currently weak, and needs to be taken care of. The national teacher really wants to see her, and listen to her after she recovers. I dare not be the master of this, and I will not open the door for you. It’s just that if the national teacher still remembers the old love, please think about it carefully, she has something to do to you, why should she be treated like this by you!”
He was on the other side of the door, panting lowly with his chest pressed, his white robe was stained with mud and sand, he knocked on the door vigorously and said: "There is a misunderstanding inside, let me see her, I will explain to her... ...My heart is going to break, you open the door!"
After all, he was still reluctant to part with this feeling, but it was too late.Tan Nu turned his head to look at the clouds in the sky. The clouds were dense and it was going to snow again.
She sighed, "The last thing you should do is to leave her in the army and throw her to others in order to find the "Sutra of Crossing the Dead". Lian Deng is a good girl, not only you like it, but also others. She spent so much effort After escaping, you rushed from Longzhou to Shenheyuan to look for you in two days and one night, but you closed the door and didn’t even give her a place to rest, so you drove her out, why are you still looking for her now?”
After he listened quietly, the phrase "other people will like it" shocked him quite a bit.Does that other person refer to Master?So that's how it turned out... so it turned out that way... He patted harder and took out the last of his strength, "I know I did something wrong, let me meet her, don't let me die with regrets."
There is no movement inside, maybe people have left.Fang Zhou looked at it for a long time and was very anxious. The square wall here passed by just by simply throwing it, why bother to waste so much talk!He bowed his hands to the national teacher, "The subordinates go in and open the door for the seat, first see the lotus lamp and then talk..."
As soon as the voice fell, the two doors opened, and Tan Nu stood behind the door with a cold face.Originally, I wanted to say a few harsh words, but seeing that the national teacher needed support even to stand, I forgot what I wanted to say.Then he thought about his scheming, who knew if it was just pretending, so he said angrily: "I can only open the courtyard door, I'm not sure if she will see you or not. But I have something to say first, she can't stand the excitement now, if she doesn't want to meet , please don't force her, the national teacher."
He didn't answer her, and walked in in a daze, "Where's my child? Is he still here?"
With a sore nose, Tan Nu turned around and led him into the back yard, pointed to the peach blossom tree from a distance, "There."
He let go and staggered to the left and right, the newly built small tomb hurt his eyes.He sat down paralyzed and dug with his hands, and found a white jade box, which he held in his palm but dared not to open.
Tan Nu walked over with his sleeves tucked up, and said in a low voice: "The national teacher may not be able to empathize with everything she has experienced, but I can. You say you love her, but in fact you only love yourself. If you care about her, you shouldn't Forget that she is a woman, and you need to cherish and love her all the time. Why do girls in the world look for a man? They want to have someone to rely on, so that they can escape the wind and rain. But what did the national teacher do for her? Coax her when she needs it, use it Let her fend for herself when she can't reach it, why does she still wait for you? The National Teacher will do yin and yang divination, didn't you count that there will be today?"
If it was normal, who would have the guts to accuse him openly?Tan Nu was also ready to fight him to the death, but when he raised his eyes, his pale face and slack eyes seemed to be no longer like him.After looking at her carefully for a moment, he lowered his head and stroked the jade box, his fingers trembling with dirt, slowly opened the box.
No matter how much courage he mustered in advance, the moment of real meeting still made him overwhelmed with pain.His child has just turned three months, such a weak life, if there is no one, it will be gone.He looked hard at him, making out his hands and feet, the fingers and toes were clearly visible.He raised his head and felt something slip from the corner of his eye, falling into his lapel.He didn't know what to do, he just looked at the dark sky and murmured: "She's so cruel... so cruel..."
If the child is there, it can be the bond between them. After the child is gone, their relationship is like a candle in the wind, which may be extinguished at any time.
The self in the past was more confident, had a beautiful appearance, a noble status, could call the wind and rain, and could control the court.But now he has fallen to this point, unable to control his body, needs to rely on others for everything, and then lost his beloved woman and child... How could this happen!He couldn't figure it out.After sitting there for a while, he covered the box and placed it close to his heart.He can't do anything for the child anymore, at least let him not be cold and feel Aye's warmth.
He staggered to his feet, not wanting them to follow, but went back by himself.The yard is a small courtyard, there are not so many rooms, there is one room with a closed door and a wind chime hanging on the door, it should be her bedroom!
He stepped forward leaning on a cane, and the door was ajar.He stretched out his hand to push, but he paused as soon as he touched it. He was afraid of making her angry. She was too weak now to be angry.He stood still and called her through the door, "Liandeng, I'm here."
Lian Deng heard his voice in a daze, thinking that she was dreaming.When I was a little more awake, I realized that it was true, he was here.
"You let me see you, I have something to say to you." He almost begged, scratching the mullion on the door and said, "It's my fault, I'm here to apologize to you. Are you okay? I Don't worry, let me see you."
She propped herself up a little bit, feeling bleak in her heart.He finally appeared, but what's the point of meeting now?The child is gone, and the pain she has experienced is over here.It's like after Nirvana cleansed my heart. Except for the pity for the child, I no longer feel love or hate for him.She sighed, "National Teacher, please go back, there is no need to see you again, and goodbye will be a stranger."
His heart sank, and he stood stiffly, not knowing what to do.She blamed him, he knew it.No matter how indifferent her tone was, he still firmly believed that she loved him.So we must meet, and when we meet, we can speak clearly. The only love he has lived for so many years cannot just end like this.
"Listen to my explanation, okay? Without the child, I will burn inside, but for me now you are the most important thing. Lian Deng, I love you, even on the verge of life and death, I have never wavered." He He said eagerly, "I was seriously injured that day in the ghost battle, I couldn't move, and I couldn't say goodbye to you. I thought I would die, but Cuiwei brought me back to the Jingu. Stay in the nine-storied pagoda to cultivate. I can't go out, and I worry about you all the time, so I can only listen to the outside news through Cuiwei. She only tells me that you are fine, that you are pregnant, or that you have been wronged, all of which are hidden from me. I don't I know that you have returned to Chang'an, and I don't even know that you have been to the shrine, otherwise I will crawl out to see you even if I crawl... Lian Deng, I miss you very much. If you let me go in and see you, even if you want me to die immediately , I have no regrets."
He burst into tears at the end, and Lian Deng could hear the sadness in his voice, but the deal is done, so what's the use of talking more?In the process of falling in love with her, he was always full of calculations. At the last moment, in order not to arouse King Ding's suspicion, he left her alone and let another national teacher, Li Daitao, fool her.Wouldn't he be worried or sad if her love was paid to others by mistake?Since she was seriously injured and unable to move, why didn't the Lingtai Langs come to pick her up?It was clearly because of his selfish desires that he was thinking about the "Book of Crossing the Dead"!Didn't she suffer enough and still choose to trust him?She didn't want to go on like this, the burden on her shoulders was finally unloaded, and she couldn't bear it anymore.His life and death have nothing to do with her from now on.She needs a new life, let go of all the misfortunes, and live like before, with nothing to worry about.
He begged hard, but she was unmoved.After the previous round of pain and crushing, my spirit was greatly weakened and I was very tired.She didn't want to listen to what he said anymore, she turned sideways and said, "Your words have cleared up all the misunderstandings. I know you can't help yourself, and I don't blame you. But the damage caused is hard to heal, and I can't forget it." , and I can't get along with you as if nothing happened. Have you finished your sentence? Just go after you finish, I'm too tired to deal with you. "
He panicked, why couldn't he hear the ups and downs in her tone?It's such a small thing, but it can hurt deeply.He tried his best to persist, but his heart was still cut, and his flesh gradually became bloody.
This doesn't work, she can't see anyone when talking through the window, so she gradually let go of it.He boldly pushed the door, "I'm coming in, anyway, let me see you."
She knew it was useless to refuse, so let him see him if he really wanted to.This should be the last request. After seeing it, put it down two or two, and there is no other obsession.
She didn't speak, but he still had hope in his heart.Stepping in, he saw her lying on her back. He was familiar with that figure, with thick black hair and exquisite ears.He walked over with difficulty and squatted down in front of her couch, "The lotus lamp..."
She turned around, looked at him with distant eyes, without any emotion, "how are you doing?"
He was stunned, obviously he had a lot to say, but he couldn't talk about it when he saw her.He only felt guilty, and he was ashamed to face her.Her face was frighteningly pale, and it was all his fault.He put his forehead on her shoulder, choked up and said: "I'm sorry for you, everything is my fault. You scold me, hit me! I would rather you hate me and don't ignore me like this."
She narrowed her eyes slightly to look at him, he looked embarrassed.In her memory, he was always glamorous and impeccable. Now his hair is loose and his body is covered in mud. If it were different before, she would be so heartbroken, but now he doesn't even have the slightest bit of reluctance.He was like a stranger to her, no matter how much he called, her mood was calm and could not make any waves.
She stepped back slightly, "Don't be like this, don't forget your pride, don't humble yourself in front of me, it's unnecessary. If you insist on seeing me, I can't get up and stop you. Now that I've seen you, then Just go! In front of me, you always remind me of the humiliation I have suffered, and make me feel worse than death."
He said no, he stubbornly found her hand, let her touch his face, and said in a trembling voice: "Liandeng, you are my wife, there is no woman in the world who wants to divorce her husband! I did something wrong, you If you want to fight or kill, I don't have a single complaint, but I just can't let me go. I can't describe my feelings for you, but I know I can't live without you. I originally wanted to pick you up when I recovered, but I didn't expect the plan I can't keep up with the changes. Look at me, I am like this now, and I hate myself too." He suddenly raised her hand, slapped himself hard, and then choked up like a child, "I would rather die now, I Knowing that you are disappointed in me, you want to show your determination. I used to be too self-righteous, relying on your love for me to act recklessly, and now I regret it. Please give me another chance. It doesn’t matter if the child is gone, we can Rebirth. You want to go back to Dunhuang, get healthy and we will leave immediately. I don’t want to be a national teacher anymore, return the position to others, and we will return to Mingsha Mountain. Even if it is only three years, let me accompany you for three years, okay? "
She turned her face away in disgust, "What about three years later? You are dead, and I am alone again, and I have to cry every day. Don't you understand that your existence means nothing but pain to me? I'm tired, I don't want to pester you anymore." She pointed to the door and said, "Go, go now. I don't want to see you, a person with no future talking to me..." She grimaced, "You Also worthy!"
He stood there in a daze, his face turned blue and white, embarrassing and ashamed.
That's right, he is a person without a future, and he can't find it in the "Book of Crossing the Dead", so he can only die.Even if he can be found, if the master has selfish intentions, it seems that he will have no hope of resurrection.A dying person is begging for love. If he is not with her, it is obviously consuming her youth. It is human nature for her not to want to.But why meet her before checkmate?Sometimes he calms down and looks back at his life, he is kind to everyone in the world, he has never done anything to hurt others, but he is cruel to her alone.In order to take that half of the scriptures, he almost killed her, and for the other half of the scriptures, he threw her alone in the army of one hundred thousand, using her to stabilize King Ding and set the words of King Ding.He couldn't figure out what he was thinking at that time, she was just a teenage girl, and he bullied her so wantonly.It's all right now, when it's time to repay, the feelings are not enough to fill, so I have to pay for his dignity and life.
He was dying of illness and couldn't get away, so he could only continue to beg her, "No matter how you scold me, whether it's insidious or cunning, or shameless, I will never separate from you."
She stood up abruptly, "What else do you want? The child is gone, you and I have settled. You are the same as your master, both are old monsters! I am tired of you and don't want to see you again. If you If you don't give up, I'll leave tomorrow, and I won't let you know where I'm going, if you don't believe me, just try!"
There was no trace of nostalgia in her words anymore, he was silenced by her drinking, and found that no matter whether it was tears or slaps, they could not win back her heart.He didn't believe it, held her hand tightly, and kissed her, "Liandeng, don't you love me anymore?"
His lips touched her cheek, and she felt sick and pushed him so hard that he fell to the ground.It turned out that he was really powerless and had become so vulnerable.She was a little sad, but her attitude was unwavering, and she scolded fiercely, "Go back to your Supreme Shrine! Don't appear in front of me in your lifetime, or don't blame me for having no eyes."
He sat there paralyzed, unable to speak, felt that the flesh under his clothes was twitching everywhere, and he couldn't even stand up.In fact, not hating is more terrible than hating.If there is hatred, at least it proves that she still has feelings for him.But now she just hates him, hates his appearance, hates his touch, he is like a dirty filth to her, and she feels insulted if he is contaminated.
Now how to do?He has no clue.Holding the cabinet up with difficulty, he said softly, "You are tired, then have a good rest! I won't go far, and I will guard you outside. If you need anything, just call me, and I will do it for you."
He walked out slowly and closed the door behind his back.When he reached the eaves, the bone-piercing wind made him shiver.It's snowing again, and the snow scum is flying, thin, like sprinkling salt.He stood with his head up for a while, the cold flakes splashed on his face and melted in an instant.He sat down in a corner and needed some energy to organize everything that had happened during this period.The same sect of more than a hundred years actually framed him at a critical moment.And Master, what did he do to Lian Deng to force her to flee and travel hundreds of miles to find him.
He sat there contemplating, with a relaxed look, never returning to the look of Zhilan Yushu in the past.Fang Zhou went over to cover him with an umbrella, and said in a low voice, "I ordered someone to tidy up a room, take a seat and rest there!"
He shook his head, "If you go too far, if she calls me, I won't be able to hear you."
How could she still call him!Fang Zhou couldn't bear to pour cold water on him, thought for a while and said, "Then I'll let them light a pot of charcoal, so as not to catch the cold while sitting in the wind."
He didn't answer, and ordered in a little silence: "Pass a letter to Qiuguan, and let him tell me everything that happened after I left. Especially..." He looked back, with a knife in his heart As if, gritted his teeth and said, "The entanglement between Master and Lian Deng, explain one by one, don't hide it."
Fang Zhou was obviously also surprised. If there is a branch here, it is probably because the old monster has not touched a woman for hundreds of years. A beautiful and lovely girl like Lian Deng mistakenly took him as a seat. The old monster aroused his heart and decided to ignore it. He accepted it politely.If this is the case, does the seat count as shooting itself in the foot?But he never dared to talk about it, so he leaned over and said yes, "Move the place on the seat. I'll send Tan Nu to come, so I can ask her for some information first. I'll send someone to guard here, just in case there is any movement on the lotus lantern." , Order them to report back immediately." Seeing that he did not object, he hurriedly stepped forward to support him, glanced at him, and said bitterly, "Actually, all this is caused by the fact that the seat does not trust the subordinates, if you let me know about your injury , I will also handle the contact with Xia Guan and Qiu Guan, so there will be no misunderstanding like today."
He turned his head and gave him a white look, "You are a big mouth, let you know, and everyone in the shrine will know about it. It's not only you, but also Lu Qing that I'm hiding from."
Lu Qing was originally a servant of the Daming Palace. When the previous head of the Jingu Palace returned to his hometown, the Holy Majesty appointed him to take over at the Jingu Palace.For so many years, he has obeyed His Majesty's orders, but he is also afraid of him. Knowing that he is doing well, he may not dare to disclose his return to Chang'an.But if it is known that he has lost all his skills, it is a major event that concerns the fate of the country, and he must brave the wind and rain to spread the news to Daming Palace.
Fang Zhou has nothing to say, it is true that he is not cautious sometimes, the national teacher understands him, but he cannot trust him, it seems that he cannot blame others.
He touched his nose and helped him into the ear room.Going to Tan Nu again, Tan Nu was very disgusted with their insistence on not leaving, and was unwilling to talk to them.
"Do you think that Lian Deng will be fine after leaving the national teacher?" Fangzhou leaned on the pillar with his arms in his arms and said, "Don't forget that there are two national teachers in this world. The younger one's defeat is in the hands of the old one. think about it!"
Tan Nu retorted, "Did she sell to their master and apprentice? Either the old or the young, why?" But after thinking about it, what Lian Deng told her later really shocked her.The child is gone, wouldn't the old monster in the army be happy to die when he found out!This matter should not be concealed, let the two national teachers fight, and the lotus lantern will have a chance of survival.
She then put the boat in front of the national teacher, he was sitting on the mat, his eyes looked dead.She mentioned it in her heart, guessing that she broke up with Lian Deng and was greatly stimulated.But it's all self-inflicted, and there is nothing to sympathize with.Her attitude was not very good, her expression and standing posture were a bit arrogant.
He didn't care about it, just asked her, "My master treats the lotus lamp with respect, does he have the feeling of a son and daughter?"
She felt that there was nothing to evade, so she said bluntly, "After the death of King Ding, Lian Deng noticed that there was something wrong with him, so he imprisoned her in a big tent, and sent people to guard him day and night, and she was not allowed to leave half a step. Deng is obsessed with her, probably because he is in love with her, and he intends to replace you. I was worried because I hadn’t seen Lian Deng for a long time. Come out. It’s a pity that I couldn’t escape that time, and he was found the next day. Lian Deng begged him to let me go, and went back to the camp with him. When he arrived in the army, he found that she was pregnant, so he prescribed a prescription to have the baby Xia Guan knew about this, and the success of Lian Deng's escape was also due to Xia Guan's help. Unexpectedly, after going through hardships to the Taishang Shrine, he was blocked by Mrs. Cuiwei. That child is so pitiful. He was able to kill him, but his mother killed him with ten horseflies. Now that the national teacher knows the inside story, how does he feel?"
How do you feel?For the rival in love who wanted to kill his flesh and blood and take his wife away, all the relationship between master and apprentice has been thrown out of the blue.Cuiwei slowly learned how to take care of her, since Wang Lang liked her, he abolished her martial arts and just married her off.As for that "benefactor", the dead soul he summoned naturally has a way to send him away.
Revenge is not difficult for him, the biggest difficulty now is the lotus lamp, how can he untie the knot in her heart?The child who had tried everything possible to save had to be destroyed in her own hands in the end. This heart disease would accompany her for the rest of her life, and it would be difficult to recover from it.
In the evening, the wind blows against the window lattice, and the peach blossom paper swells up like a blown air, and it moves with a popping sound.The lotus lamp turned over and looked at the sky outside the window dimly. It was still dark, only a night watch lantern gave off a faint light under the eaves.
She took a deep breath, the pain has subsided, but the limbs are heavy.Tan Nu said that miscarriage is not easier than childbirth, and the body wears a lot, which is true.She had never felt so tired before, and she broke out in rounds of sweating.The close-fitting underwear is never dry, and if you move it a little, the air outside the quilt will get in, and it will be chilly to the bone.She closed her eyes again, and there was a white chrysanthemum in the pillow. The white chrysanthemum can see and hear people, but when she leaned on it, there was an earth-shattering movement.Sleeping in that round nest, I returned to Prince Ding's Mansion in the chaos, and it was still the familiar courtyard with luxuriant grass, trees and flowers.Under the tree stood a beautiful girl in her twenties, holding a jade-like doll in her arms.She was very curious, so she walked over to have a look, wanting to touch her, but the girl stepped aside and smiled at her from across a path, "I happen to be lonely all by myself, and life will be more interesting with Bao'er."
She stared at the child in a daze, as if she had known him before.The child seemed very happy to see her, flapped his arms, yelled, and poured all his strength towards her.She wanted to go forward, but she was in the way of the girl, rubbing her hands helplessly, not daring to approach.The girl smiled, "Since you don't want him anymore, don't worry about him anymore. In life, ups and downs are inevitable. There are only endless blessings and no endless suffering. Let's go, you still have A good life should be rewarded with suffering.”
Only then did she realize that this was originally her child, and she regretted it in her heart, but it was too late.She sobbed and stretched out her hand, "I seem to have done something wrong again..."
The girl shook her head, "You didn't do anything wrong, there are many things that are predetermined. It's like the fate between you and my mother and daughter. When the fate is over, we can only go our separate ways."
She looked at her in surprise, her eyebrows were warm and peaceful, and she said softly: "Just don't worry, I will take good care of him. You should start your own life again, you are so young, there is still a long way to go!"
She was so sad that there was a dull pain in her chest.After struggling and struggling, he suddenly woke up and stared blankly at the roof for a long time.
It will come to an end, I hope so.Bao'er has found her grandmother, and she can treat it as real, and Liao can be used as comfort.What she is thinking about now is King Ding's Zi Palace, so she will always follow the army around until the battle is over?People always have to pay attention to burying themselves in peace.And Chenhe, I don't know what his plans are after receiving her letter.Aye is dead, he guards Suiye City empty-handed, and there will be another tragedy in the future.
(End of this chapter)
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