sadomasochism double

Chapter 78

"What fate... Zhuo Yang... what do you owe..."

"Fate...my life...I owe her...I owe her...I promise...I will keep her from getting hurt...no more pain...I didn't do it...but...I didn't do it...no Do it...sorry...Anran...I'm sorry...I...I think...I really like her...like...like her...it hurts so much...it hurts..."

The early summer wind brought a slight coolness, I stood on the balcony, and I regretted not taking out a coat.

After rubbing his arms for a while, he obviously smoothed away the goose bumps on his body caused by the cold, but his heart was still cold.

I actually understand that it has nothing to do with Night Breeze.

I just--

Can't pass that hurdle.

I regret agreeing to Zhuo Yang.Why did I come to such a muddy water, and what does the love-hate relationship between Zhuo Yang and An Ran have to do with me.I have decided to give up, but why do I still feel so upset?

Actually, why bother...they knew each other earlier than me, and their bond is deeper than me...the most important thing is, now that An Ran is dead, what else do I care about.

It's just... I don't understand it myself, but there is something in my heart that wants to roar out.

Why-

Why do you like me? I'm sorry to An Ran.Why, even if she died, she would still be like a ghost, living in our world forever.

So far, I have to say——

I am really unwilling.

When he returned to the ward, Zhuo Yang had already woken up.

He probably just woke up, his dark eyes were covered with a layer of mist, as if he was still not sober.

"Would you like some water?"

Zhuo Yang shook his head, touched his head with his hand wrapped in a bun, but it probably didn't work, so he quickly put down his hand, glanced at me, and said, "Where did you go?"

"No...the ward is too stuffy...I'll go out for a walk..." I sat down beside Zhuo Yang, and re-covered the quilt that he had opened.

"You'd better get better soon... I can only leave if you continue to toss like this."

Zhuo Yang's face was one side, and his voice was faintly angry.

"Is that why you want to leave?"

I nodded naturally, and at the same time gave Zhuo Yang a funny look, "Hey... you won't forget it... I hurt you, you said that as long as I take good care of you, we will separate..."

I can see that Zhuo Yang is very dissatisfied when I say it so solemnly.But he actually endured his bad temper, and after a long while he came over to poke my hand with that zongzi-wrapped hand.

"These years, I'm sorry. In the future... let's not quarrel. Even if this is the last day, I want to spend a good time with you..."

I guess it was Zhuo Yang's words that night that made me feel a little relieved.In fact, I also have regrets. I have stumbled and stumbled after Zhuo Yang all these years, and I have suffered countless wounds on my body. I never thought that I would be able to live a peaceful and happy life with him one day.

Perhaps, many years later, I will be by another man's side, and Zhuo Yang will also find his own happiness. We will recall in our midnight dreams that we not only hurt each other, but we also had quiet and peaceful years.

This beautiful time is what I have always yearned for.

Now, it is also what Zhuo Yang yearns for.

Zhuo Yang stayed in the hospital for two days before being discharged.Although the doctors at the hospital repeatedly advised Zhuo Yang to be hospitalized and advised him to change to a woman.

Dare to love these people, seeing Zhuo Yang is so handsome, but his legs are crippled, and his stomach can't stop. They probably thought I was abusing him at home...

While I was packing Zhuo Yang's luggage, I seriously suggested, "You really don't want to stay for a few days?"

Zhuo Yang was in a good mood, although his face was still a little pale, but there was a comfortable smile between his brows.

"The hospital is stuffy...let's go home."

Family?
It was obviously just a small villa.

even--

Neither belong to us.

Zhuo Yang's gastritis can't eat too spicy food, even if it's greasy, it's better not to eat it.According to the doctor's request, I cooked easy-to-digest millet porridge for Zhuo Yang. At first Zhuo Yang didn't say anything, frowned and ate it with a spoon.

However, after eating for three days in a row, Zhuo Yang became unhappy.

"Why this again?" He held the spoon clumsily, protesting unbearably.

I broke off a chicken leg and happily took a bite, but I put on a regretful expression on my face, "Who told you you have gastritis..."

"But..." Zhuo Yang muttered a few words, and finally seeing me smiling, he was obedient and continued to pick up the disgusting spoon.

"An Yue, you must be deliberately taking revenge on me... How can it be, I clear porridge and side dishes every day, and you eat fish and meat all day long..."

I have to say, I'm a little bit of that petty mind.Especially when I saw Zhuo Yang's awkward look, I was very happy.

But thinking about it, it can't be too much.After all, Zhuo Yang is a patient. If he cannot keep up with his nutrition, he will not recover, and I will not be able to leave.

That afternoon, I came early to make porridge for Zhuo Yang, but this time it was porridge with preserved egg and lean meat.I know that meat is not so easy to digest, so it is specially boiled for a long time.

Zhuo Yang was watching TV in the living room, but seeing me in the kitchen, he also came over in his wheelchair.

"What did you do, it smells so good?" He took a breath and swallowed his saliva.

It seems that I am really hungry for him.

"Don't get in the way here...go to the living room and wait...I'll be there soon."

It's just that I said so, Zhuo Yang didn't leave either.Instead, he lazily leaned on the wheelchair and watched me busy in the kitchen.

In fact, I also have some understanding.After we decided to live together peacefully, Zhuo Yang especially liked staying with me.

Sometimes I was sweating profusely in the kitchen, and when I hated him for being in the way and drove him away, he said to leave, but he didn't go far, just leaned aside and watched me busy.

Could it be that this person has a sense of accomplishment seeing others busy?
"Why do you always like to cling to me recently?"

I washed my hands, turned around, and asked a direct question.

Zhuo Yang lowered his eyes, his face seemed unnatural again.

I thought he wasn't going to answer, but he finally did.

"In the future... Maybe I won't be able to stick to it... These years, you have been looking at me, I... I want to see you too..."

To be honest, Zhuo Yang is so affectionate, I really can't hold it.

Occasionally when I couldn't bear it, I also told Zhuo Yang, don't pretend to be affectionate.

But his answer surprised me.

"I just did what I wanted to do."

Regarding Zhuo Yang's change, I suddenly understood when Zhuo Yang and I were bored watching a brain-destroyed movie one day.

It's not that Zhuo Yang is pretending to be gentle, it's because when the love is strong, it is naturally as sweet as honey, as Zhuo Yang himself said, either on purpose...or because he wants to do it.

Occasionally the body gets ahead of the brain.

Zhuo Yang's occasional words will make my heart sour.

Just like today, when he talked about me and him in such a melancholy tone, my heart felt a little sour, but when some things are decided, they are decided...

No matter how painful it is, I can't help it.

"Okay...didn't you say to live a good life? How can you say such unlucky things in your life...um...come here...your preserved egg and lean meat porridge is ready...um...delicious..."

I opened my mouth, and Zhuo Yang also calmed down, and sat obediently in front of the dining table.

I watched him scoop the porridge clumsily, and finally couldn't help it.

"Forget it, I'm in a good mood... let me come."

Taking the spoon, I scooped up a small mouthful of porridge, put it to my mouth and blew it, "Well... eat..."

Zhuo Yang looked straight at me with his dark eyes, and from my angle, I could see the countless emotions in his eyes.

There was excitement, there was excitement, and there were some things that I couldn't see faintly...but in the end it all returned to calm.

He opened his mouth and obediently swallowed the porridge.

"Delicious." The man's eyes lit up, and a smile slowly formed on the corner of his mouth.

I also thought that this person must have been starved, otherwise how could he eat such a simple thing according to his previous picky personality.

"I remember you didn't like porridge before."

I handed Zhuo Yang a piece of facial tissue and prepared to take another bite. It was embarrassing for the two of us to feed porridge like this, so I found a topic to talk about.

To be honest, Zhuo Yang and I have not talked as much in the past seven years as we did in the year after our divorce.

Zhuo Yang has always been a person who doesn't talk much, but now I ask, although he doesn't like to talk, he will answer patiently.

"I don't like... I don't feel full."

I was amused by this statement, "You are so rare... You seem to be starving... Don't say that you are a young master who was born with a golden key in your mouth. Even if you start a business with excellence later, you will not be able to..."

(End of this chapter)