Dear boy, it's been a long time

Chapter 12 Nothing to be afraid of, I will always be with you

【1】

The end-of-term review has entered the final stage in a blink of an eye. Wen Juefei has two important professional courses that are scheduled to be tested on the same day, and the key points drawn by the teacher are also redundant and scattered, which makes reviewing a headache.Seeing that the exam was coming up the day after tomorrow, after sorting out the important points, she felt that she had no idea, and decided to join the army of all-night reviewing in the library.After dinner, she told Bai Jianxing and received a reply from him: I will accompany you after I finish my work.

She didn't think much about it, she opened the book and began to review it seriously.

The library of Peking University is one of the earliest modern new libraries. It has a long history, a huge area, and many floors and library branches.For the sake of peace, Wen Juefei found a reading desk placed behind many bookshelves, and she was the only one left at the desk for six people after ten o'clock.

A figure appeared on her right at some point, and she only looked up when she gently opened the chair, and saw Bai Jianxing carrying a schoolbag.He seldom wears such attire, black down jacket with white turtleneck cashmere sweater, dark jeans and a pair of classic Timberland men's boots. He has a youthful look and a calm charm, which is so tender that everyone Undergraduates should be ashamed.He gently took out the laptop and books from his schoolbag and put them on the table. When he sat down, he took a look at the book in her hand, and said with a low voice, "This is just the beginning? You don't have to read it all night." It's over."

Wen Juefei took it back: "Don't underestimate me."

Bai Jianxing smiled and patted her head, as if teasing his favorite cat: "Then take a good look."

Wen Juefei nodded, and pretended to lower his head to start reviewing, but he was at Bai Jianxing's corner of the corner of his eye, watching him turn on the laptop, click on the document, and then open the English-only periodical at hand according to the index, looking intently.Wen Juefei thought, this is really a good young man with upright roots and undisturbed feelings. It seems that his willpower is too weak to be so easily fascinated by beauty.After thinking about it, he turned his eyes away, and started to look at the teaching materials steadily.While flipping through the pages and reciting the knowledge points, she didn't know how long time had passed, but she only remembered that when the page with her right hand was almost halfway through, Bai Jianxing suddenly passed over his notebook, on which was a line of timeless and elegant running script: Tired of reading Yet?
She replied: okay.

He replied again: If you are tired of reading, you can visit me by the way.

Wen Juefei smiled, raised his eyes to look at him, and saw that he was staring at him with his head propped up. When his eyes met, he said with his lips: I have been tired for a long time.

So I see you have been watching for a long time.

Unable to bear the smile, Wen Juefei simply imitated him and propped his head up. The two looked at each other for a long time like idiots.In the end, it was Wen Juefei who was defeated. She wrote in her handbook: Beauty harms the country.

He replied: In the face of beauty, loyalty and compromise.

Wen Juefei corrected: "The beauty I said refers to you."

He suddenly imitated her childishly, and even his handwriting had traces of imitation: The beauty I mean is you.

Helpless, she had no choice but to go back to what she said last time, writing: Loyalty makes concessions, but term papers and final exams are not.

One fatal move, Bai Jianxing smiled helplessly after reading it, closed the notebook and began to read the paper seriously.Wen Juefei also flipped through a few pages of the textbook, and suddenly felt his throat was a little dry. When he coughed lightly, he noticed Bai Jianxing's concerned eyes, and hurriedly explained, "I'm a little thirsty."

He asked, "Have you brought a water glass?"

Wen Juefei shook his head, he got up and picked up his coat, leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I'll buy you water."

She was about to say don't bother, but she felt something warm and soft against her ear, it was a kiss from him before he left.Her heart was inexplicably hot, and she couldn't concentrate again after a lot of effort. She kept scribbling absently on the paper until Bai Jianxing appeared with a brand new thermos.

Panting, he sat down, unscrewed the cap of the bottle and poured hot water into it, then leaned over and whispered, "I just bought it, girls should drink more hot water."

Wen Juefei took the bottle cap filled with hot water, and the scorching temperature felt by his fingertips followed the nerves all the way to his heart, soft and soft, as if his whole body was soaked in the steaming warm water.Then throughout the night, he kept watching her to drink water, and went to the first floor to change the water as soon as the water temperature dropped, just like an old housekeeper.

When it was dawn, Wen Juefei fell asleep, and woke up to find that he was covered with his black down jacket, which was smooth and soft to the touch, with the faint fragrance unique to Bai Jianxing.

He didn't know where he was going. Wen Juefei glanced at the time, and was about to pack up and go to the hospital. This morning, there will be an expert consultation, and the date of mother's operation will be decided. She must go there and wait.As soon as he finished packing, he saw Bai Jianxing came back, holding two cans of hot coffee in his hands, and was walking back while lowering his head while swiping his phone. It seemed that he had gone outside to make a phone call to deal with some business.Seeing that Wen Juefei had already packed his things, he didn't ask any more questions, just picked up his notebook and books, and said, "I'll see you off."

When he got out of the library, Wen Juefei saw him taking out the car keys and was about to pick up the car. Wen Juefei said, "I'm going to the First Affiliated Hospital of Peking University. You're driving after staying up all night, and it's easy to get tired. Or I'll do it by myself." go."

Bai Jianxing only grasped the key point of "going to the hospital", frowned slightly, and asked her, "Are you feeling unwell?"

She shook her head: "It's not me." Taking a deep breath and trying to calm down, she finally said calmly, "Mom is sick."

Bai Jianxing stood where she was, with questions and thoughts in her mind. When did she go back to live with her mother?Why is her mother sick?What disease?Is it serious?As a little girl, she has to face the illness of her closest family member. How can she survive these days?The reason for refusing him to send her off is... She still doesn't want to see her mother by herself?
But they didn't ask the exit.After all, he is an adult, and he knows what is the most important thing to deal with under what circumstances. Compared with clarifying these questions, it is more important to take care of her emotions right now.In the end, he could only say calmly: "Then I'll send it to the hospital gate, and it's fine if I don't go in to see my aunt."

Wen Juefei chuckled helplessly, and explained: "I don't mean that I can't let you see my mother, but I think you may be very tired now, and you may need to rest."

"What if I say I'm not tired?"

Seeing that he was very persistent, Wen Juefei took a step back, made his tone more firm in order to appease him, and said, "Then let's go together."

【2】

After all, the hospital was not far away. The two of them walked together on the street in the early morning. Apart from each other, there were only a few office workers in a hurry. Everything was surprisingly quiet.The two walked with their own thoughts, Wen Juefei stared at the long row of bare trees in front of him in a daze, and when his thoughts drifted away, he suddenly felt that Bai Jianxing, who was also holding his pockets in his hands, stopped and looked at the tree. A few glances at his arms.Without thinking about it, he suddenly stopped in front of a breakfast shop, bought her a cup of warm eight-treasure porridge, and said, "Eat something."

She stretched out her right hand to take it, Bai Jianxing frowned slightly, pulled out the straw and handed it to her again.Although she wondered why he didn't directly poke it in for herself, she still took her right hand out of her pocket in cooperation, took the straw and poked it into the seal.Seeing this, Bai Jianxing showed a satisfied smile, pretending to take her right hand that hadn't been put back into the pocket unintentionally, stuffed it into his coat pocket, and complained dissatisfiedly as he walked forward, said quietly: "Take a hand It's really not easy."

Wen Juefei took a sip of the eight-treasure porridge, and laughed while biting the rice grains.The two continued to walk forward, and the sun shone through the branches, shining brightly. Although it failed to change the temperature, it could at least make people feel warmer in their hearts.Wen Juefei's hand in his jacket pocket held by Bai Jianxing was already sweating slightly, but he still didn't intend to let go, as if he was afraid that she would disappear in the next second.

With a warm heart, she shook it back gently, and finally had the courage to say what was hidden in her heart: "You told me before that you think I am much softer than before, and you think I must have met a gentle person. This sentence The words are actually quite right. I used to be so resentful because I felt that my fate was unfair and that my mother abandoned me, and I became gentle later... It was also because of my mother."

She is a child who grew up hard.Her parents divorced when she was very young, and her custody was awarded to her father.

Mother Wen, who was born in a superior family, moved out of that city immediately after getting the divorce certificate, and returned to her original superior circle of life, disappearing as if she had never appeared before.Later, Papa Wen died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage, leaving her to live alone in that big city. The neighbors saw how pitiful she was and were willing to help contact Mama Wen. she takes away.Since then, she has been boarding at the school, and occasionally she will be taken to live with her grandparents during the winter and summer vacations, but Mother Wen has always been a very distant existence, and she only pays a little attention from a distance, and has never proposed to pick up her daughter. Go live around.Later, she won the city's top scorer in the college entrance examination and was admitted to Beijing University's ace school of architecture, and finally moved out of the house where she had lived alone for nearly ten years during the summer vacation after her third year of high school, and came to Mother Wen's side.

Only after that did she know that her mother was such a person, fresh, vivid, gentle, strong and beautiful.Working hard alone in a big city, holding an important position in an internationally renowned company, and being smart and capable enough to be worthy of the word "strong woman", it's no wonder that my mother chose to leave her father who was like a veteran cadre. It's hard to live together.Of course, her mother is not a perfect mother. She asked her mother why she let herself live in school alone, and the answer she got was that her mother felt that she could not take care of a child's daily life after busy work, although the child's life skills Already taller than her.She lived with her mother for a while, and found that her mother was really not a caring person. She was often so busy that she forgot to eat, but she would remember that she wanted to eat raw fried soup dumplings casually.

However, the good times don't last long.

As he spoke, Wen Juefei felt his eyes warm, and his voice gradually weakened.Just when he was about to wait for the red light, Bai Jianxing gently took her into his arms and stroked her back like comforting a child, but he still didn't say a word.Wen Juefei knew that she had to say it. She had hidden these things as dark secrets for too long, so long that they had grown moldy in her heart, making her wounds unable to heal for a long time.

She put her face on Bai Jianxing's chest, the place closest to her heart.

"I have been taking care of my mother since I went to college. I didn't go to your first class because I had to accompany my mother for a blood test. In fact, my mother had an operation last year, but it recurred again. The doctor said it was poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma, with a high-grade tumor. It is malignant, and the side effects of chemotherapy are also very large. Even surgery can only remove visible solid tumors, but cannot remove invisible metastatic lesions, and even the effect of postoperative adjuvant therapy is difficult to predict..."

Bai Jianxing frowned after hearing this, and clearly felt that the person in his arms was trembling slightly, so he quickly hugged her more tightly, and comforted her in a low voice: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid. Now it's just a preliminary prediction, it will be a little rough It is for sure, after all, it is not a minor illness and pain. But as long as you persist in treatment, there is hope for recovery."

As soon as he finished speaking, he heard Wen Juefei sobbing. He thought he had said something wrong, and secretly regretted that he should not have spoken so much like a cold doctor speaking official language to comfort the patient's family, and then explained: "I mean Yes, I am here for everything... There is nothing to be afraid of, I will always be with you."

Oops, it sounds like she is the one who is sick. How come the speech skills and social etiquette that I learned before are useless at this moment?He was in a hurry, no matter how his head was working, he couldn't form a nice sentence, but Wen Juefei suddenly said, "Thank you."

She cried because she was afraid, but also because she received such a gentle response and comfort.This is the first time that her mother has been held on top of her heart to comfort her in the past two years since her mother was ill. "There is nothing to be afraid of, I will always be with you." During the days when she knew that her mother's condition was getting worse, she wished that someone could say this to her, but there was no one around at that time, grandpa and grandma They are all past seventy years old, and telling them the truth will only make the already shattered home even more vulnerable.So, she tried hard to hide it from anyone, and no one dared to tell it. Even in front of her best friend, she had to pretend to be relaxed. She didn't want to share the pain she had borne with others, for fear that the pain would become more painful. into two parts.She can only live by herself.

And this is the first time that she has such a strong sense of security that she can tell the whole truth to the person in front of her without reservation, exposing her wounds that cannot be healed after licking and licking alone for a long time.

What kind of magical power does Bai Jianxing have?
"Fool." Bai Jianxing sighed and touched her black hair lovingly, "I was not happy when I was a child. My father has a very stubborn temper. He always has a one-sided personality at home and often has disagreements with my mother. , the two would quarrel day and night. I couldn’t stand it when I grew up, so I moved to live with my grandma, but my father didn’t intend to let me go. Except for the piano, Mathematical Olympiad, and Go that he was learning, he is still alive He heartily enrolled me in a lot of financial-related cram schools, insisting that I enter related fields so as to inherit his career. Although in the end I became a management student by mistake, I don’t intend to go back and inherit his career. His company, I just love everything I've won with my own hands."

Wen Juefei's emotions had gradually calmed down. She wiped her tears on Bai Jianxing's coat with mischief, and said, "You really are the one who will go home and inherit tens of millions of fortunes if you don't work hard."

Bai Jianxing smiled sullenly, stood firm and let her rub against her clothes: "That's not what I mean. What I mean is that everyone is the same. There is no such thing as a perfect childhood, and there is no easy growth. Child."

"Of course, I don't want to think about this for a long time. I just hope that I won't let myself be worried because I didn't get happiness for a certain period of time. From my birthday, I have advised myself to care less about the world. I don't want to stop because of Blame your loved ones, yourself, or the world for your childhood unhappiness."

Wen Juefei raised his head from his arms, there was still a little water in his almond eyes, which seemed to be able to look straight into his heart.She said: "I just want to become strong as soon as possible, and I can learn to love. Like other happy children, love others in a less bitter and less difficult way; learn to let yourself, let your own Love becomes less difficult to understand, don’t let people who care about me have to bear more heavy additional conditions because of my love. I want to work hard to do this, and that’s fine.”

He pinched her nose: "What is difficult for you to understand, just a simple and nonsensical girl."

"Why do you always treat me like a child?"

"if not?"

"I'm in my 20s."

He smiled suddenly, leaned down and kissed her forehead, and said, "You are my little girl no matter how old you are."

Wen Juefei smiled, dodged the hand he stretched out to pinch his face, and buried his face in his arms again.She is a slow person, not used to expressing her feelings to others, not used to letting others know her wounds, she saw how she struggled and cried for the unhappiness in the past, and saw how she tried to heal everything.But now, all the fragility she has been worried about is exposed in front of him. After seeing it, he not only did not turn a blind eye or listen to it like others, but cherished it with both hands, and not only understood her muttering and subtext. , and spared no effort to warm her in his own way.

Wen Juefei thought that even if fate once owed her something, it has now made up for it in a better way. His appearance since many years ago is the best gift she has ever received.No matter how hard and difficult she is in the future, she will no longer be the ostrich who kept everything in her heart.Because she knows that she will be responded to and favored, she will express it with peace of mind and unscrupulously. He and his love will become the eternal light in her life.

【3】

At the entrance of the hospital, Wen Juefei remembered that he forgot to help Bai Jianxing buy a gift for his mother, so he took him to the opposite fruit shop to buy a small fruit basket.

When standing outside the ward, Bai Jianxing suddenly hesitated. Looking at his frowning brows, Wen Juefei couldn't help comforting him softly: "My mother will definitely like you very much."

"But I'm dressed like this, and the gift seems a bit too casual." The more he said, the more he couldn't control himself, "Or should I go back and change into a formal suit?"

Wen Juefei couldn't help laughing: "Do you have to wear a suit for everything?"

"No. After all, this is a formal occasion. Dressing more grandly can show my respect."

Wen Juefei followed the words and changed his strategy, and began to praise him: "You look good like this."

Bai Jianxing raised his eyebrows when he heard the words: "Really?"

"Really, it looks young, and it doesn't look older than me at all."

"I like being older than you."

"what?"

"Only when you are mature and steady can you take good care of you. Auntie must think so. I..."

I don't know what kind of moths will come out if I continue to pull it off, but this is just a step away, no matter how I think about it, I can't let him run away.Wen Juefei stood on tiptoe and patted the shoulder of the boy friend who was so cute in front of him, then pushed open the door of the ward unexpectedly, and rang in the ward with a voice full of smiles: "Mom, my boyfriend and I are here I count on you."

At this time, Mother Wen was sitting on the bed and eating fruit. After hearing the sound, she and the auntie, the nurse at the side, froze in place, staring blankly at Wen Juefei pulling in a tall and thin figure in a black coat, and took a closer look. , is a face that is too handsome.The heroic spirit between the brows, but also reveals a sense of stability and gentleness, one can see that he is a scholar.

"Hello, Auntie, it's our first time meeting." He smiled and approached, and Mother Wen reached out to shake him in time, "My name is Bai Jianxing, and I'm Juefei's boyfriend."

Although it was only a few words, the tone of his speech showed his extremely high upbringing, which cannot be faked. His hands are also slender and tender, and he should be a child from a family of scholars for generations.In just a few seconds, Mother Wen felt the person thoroughly, and looked at Wen Juefei standing with him with a smile. They really are a couple.So, her first sentence was: "When will you get married?"

Wen Juefei was so shocked that his smile froze, but Bai Jianxing accepted the move calmly: "After Juefei finishes his studies and his job is stable, I can consider it. I am still studying for a Ph. I have raised some funds to hold the wedding and give Juefei a home, which is completely fine."

Wen Juefei was stunned, she had never thought about getting married, but his answer seemed to be that she had really thought about it seriously.

After hearing this, Mother Wen narrowed her eyes with a smile, as if she was very satisfied with the future son-in-law who fell from the sky: "What major do you study?"

"Undergraduate masters and doctoral majors are all in management, undergraduates are minored in economics, and masters are minored in mathematics."

The surprise in the eyes of Wen's mother was even higher, but she still maintained her demeanor, and praised: "It's awesome. My undergraduate major was human resource management, so it's a bit of a side."

Then the topic entered into the discussion between human resources management and management. Wen Juefei, who was only good at drawing architectural maps, couldn’t get in the way at all, so he stood silently beside the auntie, the nurse, and said to himself: When did he become so talkative? up?Who transferred the cold-faced and alienated Dr. Bai away?
The lively chatting atmosphere in the ward was not interrupted until the bed doctor knocked on the door, Wen Juefei got up and followed, Bai Jianxing looked at her, but didn't get up because of Mother Wen's face.After all, medical condition information is personal privacy, so he can't pry into it rashly.

As the door closed, Mother Wen's smile dimmed a bit.She looked at Bai Jianxing carefully again, remembered an important message, and asked, "Your surname is Bai?"

"Yes."

"Who are you to Teacher Shushen?"

"Teacher Shushen is my grandma. When Juefei was studying painting at her grandma's house, I lived there, but I didn't get to know Juefei well because of my shy personality."

Mother Wen said clearly: "It's also fate. You are still so young, and you are willing to come with Feifei to see a person like me who has entered the gate of hell with half of his body. It can be seen that he is also very filial."

"Auntie, it's just a consultation, and the operation hasn't been done yet. You must still have a great hope of recovery."

Mother Wen gave a wry smile, lowered her head slightly, her fine-lined face was still beautiful, very much like Wen Juefei.She said: "Thank you. During this period of time, I can clearly feel that Feifei has become more cheerful. I think it is because of you. I rarely see Feifei with such eyes. When I look at you, there is so much in my eyes Good-looking light. But Auntie wants you to know that Feifei is different from you, and our family is not a wealthy family, let alone dragged by a useless person like me. The gap between you is likely to hurt you."

"Auntie, I don't think there is any gap between me and Feifei. On the contrary, I feel that we are more compatible than others. There are naturally many unknown variables in things that have not happened, but even so, both Juefei and I want to focus on the best Try it out."

When he spoke, his eyes were firm, his tone was gentle but unquestionable, he didn't look like a young boy who was only 24 years old.Mother Wen was a little dazed, probably because she was thinking of her own experience, and her heart was filled with mixed feelings.This kind of firmness and trust cannot be forged on a whim or playing love games at all, and it is even deeper than her marriage that only lasted a few years.

Bai Jianxing looked at Mother Wen quietly. He knew what she was worried about, and he had already given the best answer within his ability.Wen Juefei, who had finished chatting with the bed doctor in the next duty room, didn't know what happened. When she gently opened the door and came in, she saw Bai Jianxing sitting on the stool next to her mother's bed, her back tall and straight.And her mother said in a thin voice: "Even if two people are young, it is a good thing to be able to rely on each other and make progress together. I hope that you will not let this time live up to you in the end. As for the others, I have no right to speak, but no matter How about it, Auntie is willing to bless you."

She had a sore nose, and hurriedly hid outside the door again, tears immediately fell out.

Bai Jianxing's footsteps sounded in the room. He opened the door and saw Wen Juefei's trembling shoulders. He hugged her from behind and rested his chin on the top of her head: "Fool, don't be afraid. From now on, everyone I will bear it with you."

That's why he accompanied her to see her mother, and he was as nervous as a kid, unprepared, and did something that ordinary couples would only do after falling in love for a long time.He did this just to give her confidence so that she could rely on him with confidence.

Wen Juefei hid in his arms and secretly wiped away his tears. He felt her movement, pinched her cheek deliberately, and laughed: "Aren't you a little girl?"

Wen Juefei struggled a bit: "Isn't it all your fault?"

He made a gesture of surrender: "Blame me, I am responsible."

【4】

After returning to the dormitory, Wen Juefei chatted with Zhu Yan on WeChat, and after being pestered by Zhu Yan to talk about today's sweet love affair, she commented on herself: "I feel like I found a treasure."

Zhu Yan replied in seconds: "I don't know now? The ability to appreciate treasures needs to be improved."

"I knew it was a national treasure, but now I realize that it is a world intangible cultural heritage."

Zhu Yan sent several laughing emojis in a row, Wen Juefei remembered the business and asked, "How about the house sale?"

"It's still the same."

The sale of Wen's old house was not smooth, probably because the location was not good, and it was too difficult to find a suitable buyer in a short period of time for the full price required.The deposit bottomed out a little bit because of the new medicine, but fortunately, my mother's physical condition is really improving a little bit.The attending doctor put forward a surgical suggestion after the consultation, which can be arranged as soon as a week later.

The news that she had been looking forward to for so long rang in her ears at this moment, and she truly realized what mixed joy and sorrow were.When I went to the ward after the exam the next day, my mother was rarely in a good mood and was lying on the bed reading the newspaper.She walked gently to the side and sat down. Her mother stretched out her hand that was still in the infusion to hold her, and asked, "What's the matter, you are frowning."

It's always like this, no matter how well she thinks she's disguised, her mother can always see through it at a glance.Wen Juefei raised the corners of his mouth forcefully, and replied, "There's nothing to worry about, I'm thinking about something."

Mom followed Wen Juefei's smile, fine wrinkles appeared on her somewhat pale face.She said calmly: "Feifei, take mom home, mom doesn't want to be treated anymore."

"What nonsense are you talking about?"

"Feifei, you still have a long way to go. In the future, you will need to spend a lot of money to study, work, and start a family. Mom doesn't want you to join another family with a low profile. Don't just use up your money to go on because of mom. Capital, it's not worth it."

Wen Juefei didn't expect his mother to think this way, and his heart ached a lot, but he didn't know how to express it, so he had to pretend to be indifferent and pulled back his hand, saying, "You don't need to think about it. Is it worth it, myself Let’s talk about it.”

"Mom was so sorry to you before, why do you still do this for mother?"

"You can ignore me after Dad leaves, so why are you doing this for me?"

"Fool." There were tears in Wen's mother's eyes, and her voice trembled slightly, "Because you are my child."

"Then my answer is the same."

(End of this chapter)