Hunter and Hussar

Chapter 111 Waiting and Meeting

Pushing open the door of the locker room, several juniors around Mi Le consciously stepped aside.They've been with him ever since.I nodded to my juniors and hastily expressed my heartfelt thanks. "We won." The understatement is the best news I can bring, and the best reward for them.Mi Le heard it, and raised his little head on his knee slightly.With one foot tucked in a sneaker and limply on the ground, the other wrapped in a long sock, he lifted it onto the stool he was sitting on so he could find something to cling to.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I should have come with you..."

It seems that after I became a senior and captain, I have "airframes", and I always want to behave more like a little adult in front of my juniors—at least like a big brother, so I am very concerned about my image in front of them. To get close to them, you must also have the self-esteem of being an "elder".However, as soon as I saw Mi Le's miserable appearance (like the three-legged cat named "Little Poor" in Luca's family), I immediately threw these things out of my mind.He took one step to his chair, squatted down as if admitting his mistake, and begged him eagerly.

Perhaps it was a mistake for me not to be there for the people who matter most when I need them most.Although... I seem to make mistakes over and over again.

He glanced at me.I once used a sentence to describe his eyes, "big and dark, and when they are quiet, they look studious and thoughtful, and they are passionate", although I hadn't finished reading that book at that time.And now there was no life in his eyes, like a well in the night, the dark and murky water swallowed up the brilliance of the stars in the past.It wasn't anyone's eyes that met mine, but Mi Le's eyes, the eyes of a little boy who cried for a long time and were about to shatter.

I had no choice but to hug him.It was a very strange posture, which would be inexplicable to the students at ordinary times. I squeezed the leg that Mi Le lifted onto the stool into my arms.I used a lot of strength, so big that I felt that my hands were about to cramp, maybe I wanted him to feel my presence—don't be afraid, I'm right by your side, and I won't leave for a moment.His jaw hit my shoulder, and I was bitten. To be precise, he hid the upper part of his teeth under his lips and pressed it to my shoulder. The heavy pressure brought trembling fear.No one could see, probably just thought he was lying in my arms.When he bites, he can't penetrate my sweaty jersey, and he will probably bite out a damp salty taste, which is not a good taste.If you feel uncomfortable, just bite deeper and hurt a little bit, and bite your lower jaw up.I'm just insane, we're both insane.I felt him trembling from throat to teeth to the whole face, and my body gradually began to tremble. The nightmare that happened 10 minutes ago surged up from all directions, even if we were close together, we couldn't escape its pursuit.

"I didn't mean to." The cry came from the gap between my trembling teeth and my shoulder.It was his only complete sentence.After that, I cried and smoked, and could no longer form sentences.On that night two years ago, he also cried so hard that he couldn't express it, but he was still able to control himself gradually.But this time he was almost yelling like a kid thrown into kindergarten by his parents.Dignity, decency, both of us have always valued these things more than anything else.Mom and Dad taught us this, and we learned it well, training ourselves at the age of thirteen or fourteen to hold our emotions in front of others no matter how sad it was.However, the sculptures and palaces we worked so hard to build collapsed, just today.I don't want to hurt anyone I don't want to be a bad person I don't want to hurt anyone I don't want him to get hurt I really don't want to be a bad guy Kicked... Mi Le's words pierced my heart one by one like knives.No matter how hard you try to be strong, people will still break down sometimes. "Sometimes there is always a kind of power that can support people and keep them from being changed", Teacher Zhou said this to me, but when this kind of terror and despair are tossing back and forth, I can't find the strength, just like I was in In the dark days of the past, looking at the gloves on the hands, I can't feel the so-called righteousness in the distance.Pain doesn't just make people stronger, it can also engulf people and destroy them.

Only when he was tired from crying and almost out of breath, did Mi Le really stop.I didn't know whether it was sweat or tears on my face, and I didn't know whether it was mine or Mi Le's.Anyway, I sat down on the ground and almost lay down.Already tired, now even more exhausted physically and mentally.I leaned against Mi Le's stool leg, and his leg resting on it finally hung down.Trembling, he kicked the ground with it like a drum that was about to burst.

The door opened, and the coach returned to the locker room after shaking hands and thanking everyone, without much joy on their faces.The final victory on the court only brought us a moment of excitement. When we left the green field, that kind of sadness climbed onto everyone's face without exception.Previously, they could use "focus on the game" as an excuse to escape, but now they have to face today's tragedy helplessly.After entering the door, the coach first walked up to Mi Le, wanting to rub his head with concern, but the latter lifted up his jersey to cover his face in resistance, as if he had no face to see Jiang Dong's elders.I got up and patted his knee, but all I got was the annoying turning of the little head wrapped in white.

The coach patted Mi Le on the back and returned to the center of the room.

"I understand everyone's feelings, but I still want to congratulate you. We reached the finals, the first time ever, and each of you is very good." In the bright light, I seem to see tears in her eyes, "teacher I am also in my 40s, about the same age as your parents. In my eyes, you are like my own children. You are the best group of children in the world, every one of you. The teacher will always love you, You are the greatest pride of my life."

This kind of praise is somewhat unexpected, and it makes us feel ashamed.No one answered.But they all looked at her without exception, and Mi Le also peeked out the red and swollen eyes from under the clothes.We barely celebrate our historic victory days, like winning a battle and finding only a handful of people around.The coach's words are not so much the master's congratulations to the disciples, but the mother's comfort to the children.

"I won't talk about the extra words. Let's talk about how to play the finals next week. Everyone clean up the locker room and don't leave any garbage. Rui Yang and Minxue, I leave this place to you two." She clapped her hands skillfully and made the final "Captain, you and Mi Le come with me. Yan Xi is also with me, let's go to the hospital."

"It's okay!" Yan Xi still had one hand on her waist, but she still stood up from the seat with her eyes wide open, expressing that she didn't need to bother the coach.Le Ben also said that he and Luka would take good care of him, and Lao Ye and Xuexue at the back of the hall asked the three of them to leave first. I don't know where they went in the end.At this age, it is not so easy to refuse the help of adults and take care of yourself.After the coach finished telling them, I walked up to her a little bit out of my wits, but I was very sure of what I wanted to say.

"That... teacher, I'm the captain, I will definitely go. But don't let Mi Le go. It was an accident, he didn't mean it. Go, in case the face-to-face is in a hurry, he is in danger..."

"Everyone knows it wasn't intentional. There's no danger. You can go, you should go."

"do not want!"

This should be the first time I have publicly contradicted the coach.Just now I made up my mind never to leave Mi Le's side again, but now I am very determined to keep Mi Le safely out of this matter.He already knew the price of his actions, why let him take the risk to be tortured again and again?What's more, seeing him may also be a second injury to Aceh - the opponent not only accidentally injured you, but also eliminated your team.The status of the winner puts us in an even more embarrassing situation.

But I dare not look directly into the coach's eyes, I don't know whether there is a gentle or stern light shining there.

"obedient."

There may be a little reproach in the short words, but it is more of a hope and expectation. I hope that as a child, I can understand the good intentions of adults.It even has the meaning of asking, as if knowing that this request is a bit embarrassing for me, so there is a hint of helplessness.It is not a condescending order, which makes me feel more guilty.It's been a long time since I heard adults talk to me like this. My parents don't seem to want me to do anything anymore, and I don't stay around them very much.But, but, deep down in my heart, I may still hope that they will have a little bit of demand for my son.

But I still want to protect Mi Le.I will not let go of my death today.

"I'll go." Mi Le's voice came from behind. He got up from the stool, but his other foot was also numb, and he almost fell to the ground when he walked suddenly.Zhao Rui had quick eyes and quick hands, supported him, and walked to us step by step with him.In a trance, I thought his foot was injured.However, the person who was really injured might not even have the luxury of walking.

"I won't run away." Every word, he seemed to be swallowing the sobs in his throat one after another, showing his firmness in making a decision, "I'm going to take responsibility."

He grabbed my glove with such force that I wondered if it was from his hand, and almost snapped my fingers like arrows.After crying helplessly for so long, Mi Le still made the most daring decision he had made at this time.

"Protect Mi Le." Before leaving the door, Yue Yin whispered in my ear, "Like Xiaoye said last week, you have to protect him."

I should have clicked a head that hit the collarbone with my chin, and opened the door.

"Take me. Aceh's a good friend of mine."

Standing outside the door is Mingming.I just realized that he didn't go back to the locker room with everyone, his head was all wet, as if he was fished out of a lake.I must have gone to the bathroom, but how could I get my hair soaked by just washing my face?not understand.However, when I had a tooth change when I was a child, the tooth was about to fall out, and it was very uncomfortable. I simply had the guts to press my head under the faucet of the sink, turn on the cold water, and under this cover, I resolutely put the A baby tooth pulled out by itself.It hurts, and if it weren't for the constant running of water between my head and my teeth, I probably wouldn't be able to do it.

But obviously it may not be to relieve any pain, whether it is physical or inner, just don't want everyone to find out that he is crying.I didn't ask.Silence is the best respect for each other.I don't quite remember how the four of us got out of the locker room, and I don't know who called the car.Along the way, the buildings and viaducts passing by outside the car window were all transformed into simple lines, like black and white comic strips, extending infinitely and monotonously, putting us in a tunnel without light and shadow.The occasional bumps made me shake between sobriety and confusion, until Mingming suddenly opened his mouth and told the coach that he wanted to quit.The coach was silent for a while, then nodded silently, not knowing whether to agree or understand.Mi Le didn't answer. He also said earlier that he didn't want to play anymore, but it might be meaningless to say it now.Whether he wanted to play or not, the suspension for that red card doomed him to the final.For him, all games in junior high were completely over.

I am so sad.We won and it seemed like we lost everything that was left.Not only that, but it seriously hurts others.

Since the second day of junior high school, I have been used to running to the hospital.The haze of injury and illness has shrouded the entire year, like a dark and densely woven rain, leaving no room for respite, washing away from head to toe to reveal a gloomy staleness.But his eyes were drawn by the bright lights on the ceiling, and he walked to the orthopedic clinic like sleepwalking.Sitting on Li Tiancheng and Anival's bench, he told us where Aqi was. The brief eye contact was regarded as a greeting. The coach walked into the consulting room, and the three of us stayed outside.I didn't dare to sit with my engineering and engineering classmates. Even though Anivar obviously moved to the far end of the bench, we shrank to sit opposite each other.

The door of the consulting room was not completely closed, but none of us went in, not even looking around.Obviously, it should be nailing now.What can we, a child with little medical knowledge and no serious injuries, think of?When the history class talked about European history, I saw the portrait of Jesus.what does it mean?Miller was terrified.Hearing Mingming's words, the two people on the opposite side unconsciously raised their heads, their faces were as pale as a piece of paper, and obviously their short hair was about to stand on end.No one spoke anymore, and they seemed to be catching the movement inside the door amidst the noise outside the door——I don’t know if that’s the case, I don’t seem to have the courage.It is said that I can hear the sound of hammers beating on steel nails, but I can't remember it. It's like the hoarseness of a radio station that has not received any channels in my ears. "Tuo scraped the bones with a knife, and there are sounds everywhere." When I read this story when I was a child, I only felt that Guan Gong was brave and fearless. Later, I shuddered every time I read it.The thin voice is like the silver fingertips of the nightmare pressing closer. [1]
"You were so brave back then. You really looked like a hero."

"It was anesthetized. I didn't dare to look at it myself. Hehe, I didn't tell you, I cried so much before doing these treatments. After arriving at the hospital, I lay on the ambulance bed and waited for the elevator on the first floor. I waited for about 3 minutes, but the elevator couldn’t come down—this is quite common. At that time, I suddenly felt that I had fallen into a hole in the ice. Not only was it too painful, it hurt like hell, but I was even more afraid. In just a few minutes It was like a few years, I thought I was going to die, it was too late for treatment, and I was going to be amputated. The more I thought about it, the colder my feet became, so I cried like crazy, and the coach who accompanied me cried I was scared and silly. Later, a nurse passed by and asked me what was going on. I couldn’t explain clearly, but she could see my condition, so she said don’t be afraid, it can be cured. I don’t know why, she always Saying that I feel better, at least I don’t cry so hard. The words of the doctors and nurses are too powerful, as if God told me that I can still be saved.”

And the wait outside the clinic that afternoon was as long as the wait that Archie would tell me years later.I know that we, the perpetrators and bystanders, will never be able to empathize with the pain and fear he endured, but that kind of fear still erodes the inner pillar in the subtle noise.He won't be unable to stand up, can he?You won't have to sit in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, will you?I ruined him.Mi Le seemed to say so, with a very soft voice, as soft as petals shattered after freeze-drying, soundlessly.Maybe it's not him who speaks, but my heart.The heat and turmoil in early May has been able to scorch people's hearts from the humidity of disinfectant water.It needs a bit of cool air or a bit of water, maybe a block of ice.A piece of ice in summer, which will not melt, only belongs to the man who longs to be quiet in time and take a nap, if he can still sleep with the uneasiness of conscience.There have been so many days and nights when I lay in the freezing heat of the heat or the cold of the ashes, ruminating on the blood on my hands.A sin committed unintentionally is a sin after all, and I face it just as Mi Le came here bravely today.But how to make up for it?I don't know if I am making up for it by appearing outside this ward now, or maybe I am just accepting the fateful punishment.It was another person who was lying in the ward in the past, with various instruments attached to his body, but the line representing the heartbeat eventually calmed down sadly and helplessly.Mom and Dad embraced and waited outside the door in the posture we might have today, and the light flickered dimly in the dark night.What was I doing then?Sitting on the lower bunk and reading the poem on the gloves I found back, the deep night outside the window hides the future and inevitability of a person who can no longer appear in my life.

I thought of Meimei, hoping that she would appear in front of me immediately and tell me what to do.But she is not there.Next to me is Miller.Fate told him a black joke, or a big lie.Turning a big circle in a long time, we have come to the place that we have remembered but never been in our life.

"Ke Ke." Suddenly, he grabbed my hand on my lap.I looked at him suspiciously.

"You seem to be very sad." His eyes were swollen enough to make my heart ache. "Did you remember something?"

I hung my head, nodded, and shook again.

"Not afraid." He said so, but he was still trembling in Xia Tian, ​​obviously he was as scared as me.I clenched his hand, shaking together.

"Captain, cry if you're scared. I've never seen you cry before." Obviously, you really don't understand me.But looking at his eyes that had been wiped repeatedly, I tightened the nerves on my face and nodded as hard as I could.Li Tiancheng and Aniwar heard something and walked over from the opposite side.The former squatted down to comfort us, saying that nothing happened, and Team Huo would definitely get better.The latter slowly eased off the schoolbag on his back, and after groping for a while, he took out the dried milk we had eaten.It was a burst of hasty and somewhat frantic chewing. We closed our eyes and stuffed it into our mouths like we were eating a piece of bitter medicine that we had to chew but never wanted to touch.The milk and sunlight from thousands of miles away turned into juice in the violent collision, which almost choked me.Suddenly remembered that in the last two years of elementary school, my sister seemed to be fatter than now. Maybe, just maybe, she ate a lot of food.At least I want to chew some more now, crush them thoroughly between my teeth, and swallow them mercilessly.During that time, I ate very little. Every time I picked up the chopsticks at home, I couldn’t help but pay attention to the empty seat. Tears dripped into the rice bowl.Maybe my sister wolfed down her meal in order not to think of anything, so that she would have enough strength to knock on my door when needed.

"Okay." A doctor came out of the consulting room.He was wearing a mask, but he still seemed familiar.

"Dad, how's it going?" Mingming got up quickly, and the rest of us reacted quickly, and surrounded the aunt who was sharing snacks like kindergarten children.It's been dealt with, it's a bit serious, and the surgery should be done after the swelling subsides, which should be a week later.Dad, were you driving nails or inserting steel plates just now?How is he?Does it hurt?Is that a long nail?Obviously asked a series of questions.You kid, don't just talk about it after learning a few words.Perhaps guessing that Mingming had already done some "popularization", he took off his mask, scanned each of us seriously for a round, and made a verdict: You guys, listen up, I don't care what he said, All in all it doesn't count!Don't be afraid, I am the doctor!
After finishing speaking, I left.He needs rest.Perhaps he is rarely so dignified in front of his son. Mingming's father has always been a very easy-going person, but he must be extremely serious about his work.After all, we are little children who don't understand, too easily defeated by fear itself.

I still don't know if that sparse and subtle sound really existed.After being allowed into the consulting room by the two coaches who came out, we saw that Aceh's foot was much more normal, and he was stretched on a small shelf extending from the bed.He himself was very weak, but when he saw us coming in, he smiled reluctantly and shook his hand on the bed sheet.

"Don't cry. Am I fine?" His usual gentle smile made us dare not even raise our heads.Li Tiancheng and Aniwar went up to talk to him first, and they should have talked for a long time, and finally the two of them told him with apologies that they were very sorry that the team failed to reach the final.Aqi listened very patiently, until the end, only his eyelids twitched slightly.

"It seems that Mu Zheng didn't lie to me. The No. [-] Middle School is quite difficult to deal with." He raised his finger and pointed at us standing behind the two of them, "You guys are lucky this time."

"I'm sorry!" Mi Le rushed in front of Aqi, bent down, and lowered his head at 45 degrees, his eyes were tightly closed. "The necks are stretched out very long, like many ducks, pinched by invisible hands and lifted upwards", probably in this posture, I also joined in. [2]
"What are you doing, apologizing to the people of the whole country?" He smiled slyly.

"I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I will lose money, and I will pay whatever money I have. I will also be responsible to the end, for the rest of my life!" Mi Le cried and gasped again as he spoke, choking on himself, coughing I kept patting his thin back.He gently pushed away, still wanting to insist on his promise to the person in front of him.

"What a mess, I don't want a boy to be responsible for me for the rest of my life. You can change someone." In the thin voice, there was a mischievousness that children often have when joking, which can make anyone put down sincerely in an instant The nervousness in my heart.

"Huh? But..." Mi Le's confession and promise were interrupted, and he stood there in a daze.

"Little one, little one, isn't it the first time to receive a red card? Is it comfortable?" He shook his finger in front of Mi Le quite proudly, as if the red card had nothing to do with his current situation.Everyone didn't know how to answer. Mi Le bit his lip and said that it was indeed the first time.

He licked his dry upper lip with his tongue and asked us to pass him the mineral water on the bedside.After gulping and gulping, he tightened the cap of the bottle, watching us put the bottle in place, his weak hand suddenly snapped his fingers.

"You all forget what happened today. Let me tell you this, I don't care, I don't care at all. Don't think too much about it, eat and sleep well when you go back, okay? Tiancheng, you should also play hard in the last game, not only If you want to get the bronze medal, you need to help Aniwar get the golden boot. No problem, right? As for you guys..." He tilted his head and looked at the three of us, pointing at Mingming, "Be careful in the finals, kid. Don’t get hurt. If you’re hurt for a hundred days, I’ll be alive and kicking after a hundred days. Let’s make a friendly match then, and I’ll take care of you with my own hands.”

"But I don't want to kick."

"There must be those miscellaneous thoughts in your mind again. Why are you afraid of hurting your opponent, right? I don't dare to say you normally, but now it's fine. Listen to me! What do you think football is? What is sports? Yes Fighting war? Not at all! We are competing for a goal with the same belief in fairness and justice, not to hurt each other. Those bumps on the court are normal, not to hurt others. Because the opponent is not the enemy, but like-minded We have known each other for six years, and we have always been rivals, but you are my best friend in my heart. Now that there is so much homework and so much pressure to study, why do we continue to play games? Isn’t it good to play games for half a day on weekends? ? It’s not because you like it. Don’t you like football?”

"I still like it. But... I don't want to see someone get hurt. Besides, the hurt person is my best friend. After you get hurt, I feel like I can't stay on the court for a minute. Stand on it It may hurt others." It was obviously like a wilted cabbage.

"What we love is the game itself, not the injuries, not the bad stuff. You shouldn't let things that have nothing to do with football take the place of your love for it. Think of your dad, who has surgery every week. , I will do it for me next week. Tell me, do doctors hesitate when operating on patients because of the risk? He knows all the consequences of every operation, and he knows his responsibility to save patients, so he should When I use a knife, I will move without hesitation, try my best to do my best, and bravely bear no matter what the result is. Isn’t it the same in sports? I’m just unlucky, and it’s just a small sprain in normal times. Come back, the doctor is great. You told me this since I was a child. Have you forgotten? You admire your father very much. Be brave, just like him. He Mingming, the reason why you stood on the court In fact, isn’t it because your father likes football and wants you to play football? In fact, your father may also want you to learn that kind of courage and responsibility on the court. Don’t let him down, and don’t let your opponents over the years Disappointed with friends."

"I understand. I will kick it." Mingming pursed his lips fiercely and looked up at Aqi.

"That's right. Then, Mi Le, come here. You, don't you have a chance to play in the final?" Aqi beckoned Mi Le to approach with his hand, and then gently pinched his cheek.Mi Le obediently let him do this, this kind of action is usually similar to touching a tiger's beard.

No one answered.Azi put down his hands and shrugged.

"If given the chance, would you like to play?" For a brief moment, Aqi's tired eyes seemed to flash with fire, "Tell me what you really think."

Mi Le nodded vigorously, his hair flicking up and down.

"Okay, listen to me." Aqi raised his finger again, "Go and ask your coach to write a letter of appeal to the organizing committee, requesting that the red card for today's game be revoked. Because that foul was neither a violent foul nor a malicious foul. , It was just an ordinary foul. The injury is also an accident, and it should not be based on results. According to the rules, it should be feasible to revoke the red card, and there are precedents."

"But can the organizing committee accept it? What's more, you are seriously injured, Captain..." Li Tiancheng interjected, then turned to look at us, "Of course, I know you didn't mean it."

"It would be nice if there was video," Anivar added.To be honest, even if there is a video, who would really dare to watch it back?

"That's true. But what if I also write a letter to the organizing committee? I believe they will understand?" Aqi confidently poked Mi Le's forehead with his finger, "How is it? It must be fine, wait I'll write in a few days when I feel better."

There was a strange noise in Mi Le's voice, and I hurriedly hugged him from behind.Putting my left hand on my crossed arm, Mi Le wiped the corners of his eyes with his right hand.

"But why did you treat me so well? I hurt you. I'm really ashamed of you doing this. It's all my fault. Don't you give me some punishment? How can I have the face to see you in the future? .”

"You are a good boy. I have known since the day my father gave me your WeChat. No matter what mistakes you have made, it is impossible to completely deny you as a person. Besides, if there is something that can greatly help others, but it is easy for yourself, why not do it?" [3]
"That day, I felt that you were like a saint, or like a god—the kind of god who is full of gentle power and can tolerate all human weaknesses. After seeing all the cowardice, selfishness, and cruelty of human beings, you still look at me with tolerance. I love them and want to help them share and resolve their suffering."

"Really? I'm so embarrassed for you to say that. I'm just an ordinary person living in this world. In fact, I was probably quite afraid at the time. Afraid of pain, surgery, and The friends are separated. So, I just want to treat everyone better and make you happy, so that I feel better in my heart. I also want to find strength in you."

"That's right, junior, why are you giving me some milk? Can you come to see me again in a few days? Give me as much as you have, and I'll blackmail all your food." He took Anivar and handed it over. The milk cube, Huo Yuqi held it in the palm of his hand and turned it around, as if he was playing with a piece of sludge. The color of night gradually appeared outside the window, and the lights in the room became brighter and brighter.Seeing Aqi's obsession with researching that piece of milk, everyone finally showed a little smile.

"Mi Le, promise me one thing." He was still staring at the milky white gadget that had been tanned by the sun.

"You say you say, no matter what I will do."

"Would you go too if I told you to pick the stars?"

It turned out that Mi Le also had a day when he was questioned by others. This kind of embarrassed expression rarely appeared on his face.

"I don't want stars, I want you to win the final championship. Let Mu Zheng wear the gold medal." Aqi broke the milk cube into two pieces, "Their family has suffered more than me. He deserves a champion."

[1] From "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms".

[2] From Lu Xun's "Medicine".

[3] From "The Analects of Confucius Xianwen".Or say: "How to repay grievances with virtue?" The Master said: "How to repay virtues? Repay grievances with honesty, and repay virtues with virtues."

(End of this chapter)