Hunter and Hussar

Chapter 91 55

"Ke Ke, leave Luka to us. He will be fine. You can take Zhao Rui and Xuexue to the hospital with the coach in peace of mind. You can also see Mu Zheng and say hello to him for us. Alas, I hope he Can be better." Mi Le said in my ear.Luka's eyes were swollen, and he probably had never suffered such grievances since he was a child.He was not the only one who felt uncomfortable. It was unprecedented that such repeated mistakes were concentrated in one game.The coach didn't say anything after the game, just let us have a good rest and prepare for tomorrow's late test.The last game will probably be in early December, so don't worry about it.In addition, she will submit an appeal to the organizing committee about the penalty in this game.

What's the use of complaining?The result of the game is destined to be unchangeable.There is also a long list of injuries and suspensions that cannot be changed.The two who were sent off by the red card will be suspended for one game, plus Mingming who received the fourth yellow card of the season and Mu Zheng who is lying on the hospital bed, our lineup in the life-and-death battle is destined to be fragmented.

Registration, waiting, examination, a set of procedures went through, Zhao Rui's problem was not too big, and some external medicine was prescribed, and it would be fine in a few days.Xuexue was dragged away for stitches just as the school doctor said, and it is said that he will need three stitches.If you don't know how to sew, will someone stick a needle and thread through your forehead like sewing clothes?I didn't dare to imagine, nor was I allowed to watch.To be honest, let me watch it and I can't stand it.I can't be a doctor at all.Zhao Rui and the coach asked me to visit Mu Zheng first, and when Xuexue was sent to the debridement room, he told me again not to let Mu Zheng know that he had become like this.

But I still haven't figured out how to tell Mu Zheng.

the phone is ringing.It was Taotao calling.Sitting outside the ward and hesitating, I walked to the end of the corridor, so as not to let Mu Zheng hear my voice.

"Keke? I'm Taotao. We drew with other schools today. Feifei scored the goal in the first half and made a gesture of number 23, saying that he would give the goal to you. I wish you a speedy recovery." It's a pity, we could have won, but in the end we didn't defend, and Pu Yun scored a free kick. By the way, Pu Yun is your old classmate, right? He is the captain of another school today. What? Yes, Shi Zhenhua didn't start, It was only in the second half. The foreign school underestimated us a little bit, thinking that we could win with a few second-year players and a group of substitutes, but we almost lost. But they can qualify for one point, so it’s normal to be a little lax. By the way , did you win?"

You don't have to be so secretive about Taotao.I probably complained for a while, and thanked him for patiently listening to my complaints.After hanging up the phone, the sky outside the window was pitch black.You shouldn't be so complaining.After all, I am so angry because I can't do anything.Really boring.I shook my head selfishly and walked towards the door of the ward.

"Is it Peve?"

Just as he was about to sit back on the bench again, a long shadow dragged by the slightly dim lights in the corridor stretched out from the door, growing from the ground to the wall.It's Teacher Zhou.She was carrying a bucket of clothes, looked at me, and closed the door.I hurriedly nodded to her to say hello, and asked if Mu Zheng was better.She said that she had just had treatment in the afternoon and was still resting, thank you for coming to see him.It seems that I don't have to think about how to tell him about the game for a while.Excuse me, I'll see him next time.After I finished speaking, I was ready to leave.

"You seem a little unhappy." Teacher Zhou put the washing bucket beside the chair, with a gentle and gentle voice.I stopped.At that time, my expression was probably still like a piece of wood like before.How did she see my mood?
If there is anything, you can tell the teacher.If you're not in a rush or hungry.She motioned for me to come and sit on the bench.In fact, I can say that there is nothing wrong, and then walk away quickly.It was a waste of her time to talk to Mr. Zhou about the game and the referee's penalty. She should have gone to do the laundry, and after that she had to take care of Mu Zheng, and then she might have to prepare lessons or correct homework.I'm already busy, but I'm still procrastinating.But for some reason, I seemed to be attracted by a magnet, and I really sat down on the chair next to Teacher Zhou obediently.

I've never liked talking about myself with adults.In the past, Xianxian always talked to her mother, but I didn't say a word.Mr. Huang said that he could talk to him about anything, and I agreed, but I never found him.Maybe I just don't trust grown-ups by nature, or am I just not good at talking to grown-ups?Maybe I will always be a sensitive and fearful little boy in my bones.The world of adults seems to be completely different from ours, but one day I will become an adult, and now I may almost step into the world of adults.You can't escape, you can only grow up.Adults have much richer experiences than us. I don’t like to listen to what they say to us, but I know most of them are right.Having been a child for 14 years, I obediently obeyed their instructions and got to the present step by step.It doesn't look too bad, I'm afraid some adults envy their parents for having a child like me.Maybe, if I am more obedient, more sensible, less self-willed, and don't play those little tempers, I can become a good boy who really makes my parents proud, and at the same time, I won't let certain things happen.

Why do I still resist involuntarily when I know others are right?It's hard to tell, people may sometimes be like little animals, acting according to incomprehensible emotions.In the past, I always wanted to run away when I saw adults, but today I stayed obediently for no reason.It may be that Teacher Zhou has this ability to make me peaceful and quiet.I haven’t participated in several literary club activities so far, but as long as I go, I will feel the tranquility of the noon sun passing through the leaves and casting shadows on the window sill.The world is both calm and fluid.

I really said again what I just said to Taotao.Of course, he didn't swear, and he calmed down a lot when he spoke.I'm ashamed, I shouldn't bother Mr. Zhou with these things, but I never have any brilliant ideas in my mind.

"Understood, we didn't win. The result is really bad and not so fair." She nodded slightly, "However, there is still a chance, isn't it? It is only one point away from No.2, right?"

"But it depends on other people's faces. Fate is out of our hands." I sighed.After being tied by that non-existent penalty kick, we had to beat the other school away in the next game, and we had to hope that the branch school would not lose to Yuki.The foreign school has not lost at home for three years, and they still continue this proud record.As for Jie Qi, as long as they beat the bottom school in the group at home, they will be able to qualify, regardless of the result of another game.There is also a very unfavorable factor. We only scored one draw and one loss in the two rounds against Jieqi. The relationship between victory and defeat is not dominant. Once the two teams have the same points, we will still be eliminated.I have heard more or less before that in the last few rounds of the World Cup qualifiers, all Chinese fans will do math problems, calculate and analyze the probability and situation of the Chinese team qualifying, and then hope that other teams in the same group can do well. Take a righteous shot, "pull the brother", and help the Chinese team defeat the competitors in the standings.It was very interesting when I heard it before, but now I have begun to count it. There is a kind of bitterness or frustration of people under the roof.When I was on the phone with Taotao, I kept thinking in my heart whether I should tell him, please help us, don't lose to Jieqi, because we were teammates before.

Maybe it's time to call A Hua or Pu Yun?Tell them, no matter what, we are still elementary school classmates.You have all qualified, and you are locked in the first place in the group. You don't have to be so serious in the last game, just come on the bench and play as you like.Saving a life is better than building a seven-level pagoda. What is not so important to you may be someone else's life-saving straw. The beauty of a gentleman.

Some adults have told me that we must improve our interpersonal relationship, otherwise we will suffer a lot in society.My friends and I get on pretty well, but I know it's not what they call a human relationship.That's another set of things.I am contemptuous of the ways of the world, and even a few times, I felt that Xianxian got along too well with some unfamiliar people, and it was a bit flattering, and I even quarreled with him because of it.I don't even want to bring this kind of thing to the field. Obviously, my father seems to have said before that campus sports are the purest.Whether it is match-fixing or tacit understanding, it should be despised by sportsmanship, let alone appear in campus football games.

But why do I think of these things "automatically"?Ah Hua is right, everyone has changed.In the past, I absolutely couldn't bear this kind of thought, and thought that people who had such thoughts were extremely greasy and disgusting.Maybe deep down in my soul, I'm not what I used to be.That's right, it's long gone, there's no need to hide it.If—I mean, if someone from another school or branch school told me, as long as you beg us, begging without dignity, and let people put their feet on your head, we can help you achieve your wish, I think... I would at least consider it, very seriously.Might really agree.If they stomped hard on my head, I think I could take it and thank them.The premise is that I only need to do it alone, they can't insult other people, and some partners still have stitches on their heads.

Over the years, I have gradually understood a truth, the power of a person is so insignificant.I wanted to hold my destiny in my own hands and live a bright and honest life, but at least that afternoon let me know that the reality is not the case.Everyone's starting point is already very different, and it has become a luxury to pursue a little fairness in the competition. "Society is a mud pit. We have to stand on high ground." "The more heartless you are, the faster you rise. You have to hit people mercilessly and make them afraid of you. You can only treat men and women as stage horses and ride them In this way, you can reach the highest peak of desire." "Society is just a group of fools and liars. Don't be a fool, and don't be a liar." The words in the novel are very clear in my mind His mind was churning, probably the kind-hearted Rastignac decided to "fight hard" after seeing the truth of society.I fully realized that Mi Le once had helplessness and frustration. At that time, I was really new to the world, and I had never seen any darkness at all.Today's referee is not even the dark side of society, but a kind of dereliction of duty and arrogance, which is more frustrating than darkness, because he may not even have malicious intentions.Since the law enforcer is so indifferent to everything he is responsible for, why does man willingly endure pain, shed sweat and blood?How worthless is this sacrifice. [1]
It’s not that we can’t afford to lose. We survived when we were eliminated by foreign schools a few months ago.At that time, it was just sadness and remorse, and being at a loss, but now there is only grievance and uselessness, and I can’t cry happily even if I want to cry.Perhaps, this idea is because I feel that fate is not so solemn and sacred.Sometimes your destiny is controlled by some people in a boring way, and it is kicked around as an irrelevant ball.If you are in a good mood, it will make you feel better; if you are in a bad mood, you will be disgraced and embarrassed.There is no other way but to accept it obediently.There are no permanent good children in the world, only temporary good children and children who are temporarily considered bad and need to be educated.The man in black with a whistle in his hand taught me a good lesson today.The arrogance and irresponsibility of adults can hurt children more than anything.Since the grown-ups told me that this is how the child's world is, it's probably inevitable for me to have that kind of thought.

"Teacher Zhou, I want to ask you a question. Can people really control their own destiny?" I looked up at her.It wasn't long after I said the words that I realized my stupidity.My mind is flooded, Mr. Zhou is not just my teacher.The cruelty of fate to her is much heavier than what I have come into contact with today, and I only asked this question out of depression.Luca once mentioned to me a dilemma: he likes to ask his elders about the past, but he finds that although he remembers some things, he can no longer be mentioned.They are too heavy, and the passage of time still weighs heavily on people's chest.Every time I think about it, it is tantamount to uncovering the scars and replicating the pain in front of my eyes, so people will be injured again.I should be the one who understands them best.But I didn't take Mr. Zhou's feelings into consideration that night.How far am I from true maturity?
She didn't say anything about me, nor did she show any displeasure.He smiled calmly and confidently, and answered me with serious and peaceful words.

Probably so.People cannot fully control their own destiny, but their destiny is always in their own hands.

I do not understand.

Well, let me tell you a story.Very famous, the ancient Greek myth, later Sophocles changed it into a tragedy, called "Oedipus the King".You don't have to be so serious, relax a bit, if you don't take the exam, just listen to it as a story.A young prince named Oedipus received an oracle one day, saying that he would kill his father and marry his mother.He was terrified and fled his country.He was bullied on the road and killed him.Later, Oedipus solved the mystery of the Sphinx by virtue of his talents. It happened that the local king died, so everyone supported him as king and married the queen.Oedipus became a wise monarch, but later the country was plagued by a plague. The gods instructed that the murderer who killed the former king must be found to relieve the plague.Oedipus struggled, and finally found out that the murderer was himself, and the former king was the arrogant old man he killed on the road.And because he got to the bottom of it, he found that he was the son of the previous king. When he was born, his father knew that he would kill his father and marry his mother one day, so he ordered the shepherds to abandon him to the wild.The kind shepherd handed him over to his counterparts in neighboring countries.Therefore, under the guidance of fate, Oedipus really fulfilled the prophecy of killing his father and marrying his mother.What’s wrong with you?not comfortable?Are you hungry?Still cold?
I'm fine, teacher, you go on.I am listening.

From the story of Oedipus, we can see that destiny comes and happens without any reason.Oedipus is a good king, a good husband, and a good father. He tried his best to avoid the ending of killing his father and marrying his mother. Instead, he fell into the net of fate silently and became a murderer.Fate is not determined by himself, but he himself has unwittingly created the doomed result with his own hands, and he must pay for it.Is it too cold?Let me get you some clothes to wrap around, you're shivering from the cold.Really don't need it?Don't be afraid, the teacher is here.Still want to listen to it?OK.As I said earlier, "Oedipus the King" is a tragedy.But it is not tragic because Oedipus is in such a miserable state.It doesn't mean that a good person is miserable enough to be called a tragedy.In ancient Greece, tragedy had to evoke a sense of the sublime and bring "purification" to the audience.Oedipus has his own heroism. When investigating the case, he gradually discovered that all the clues were pointing to him. His mother also found out, and wanted to prevent Oedipus from continuing to investigate for the purpose of protecting the child. Bury the sadness in your heart.But Oedipus did not escape. He wanted to fulfill his promise to his subjects, to eliminate the plague, and to find out who he really was, even if the truth was the cruelest.After learning that he was the murderer, he did not defend himself, but accepted the punishment, stabbed his eyes blind, and exiled himself.In ancient Greece, people still believed in gods.However, Oedipus is not insignificant compared with the gods who control fate from above.He can't choose the fate of killing his father and marrying his mother, but he can choose to face his destiny bravely like a hero, neither surrender nor degenerate, and be responsible for what he does, no matter whether it is intentional or unintentional, without complaint. [2]
But is there really such a person in the world?After all, it is a myth, after all, it is a literary work, not real.People are very fragile in the face of fate.Teacher, I want to say something, I don't want to make you angry, and I don't mean anything else.That is, I don't think literature is that useful.When fate really falls on a person, the heavy weight of that darkness can crush a person.I have also read some books, trying to gain a little power from them, but it is completely useless when fate suddenly falls.Books cannot protect you against fate.It doesn't bring much help, and it can't even be exchanged for money. Isn't Cervantes dying of poverty?Not even a funeral attendant.There is also a big difference between what some writers write and what they do.I seemed to want to talk very much, and I talked a lot at once, but fortunately my mind turned around and I swallowed "a tough guy like Hemingway committed suicide".

You are right.Literature is not so useful sometimes.Teacher Zhou continued that kind of calmness and warmth, and put his hand on my head lightly.In other words, literature itself does not exist because it has a strong practical role.When encountering something in life, holding a book to find a solution and finding the fighting spirit is a bit of a dream.The teacher is very happy to see that you have your own thinking.Yes, many writers are completely different people in writing and in life, and they cannot be generalized.Literature is not plug and play, it requires a long time of reading, thinking and precipitation.It does not necessarily prescribe the right medicine, and it is difficult to bring immediate results. It needs to be felt slowly in life.Just like your competition, standing on the field is the result of long-term training, and the competition changes rapidly, which must be very different from the training content.In short, literature is not that great, nor is it that "useful".It can convey some knowledge, but it is not a practical tool, and it cannot bring much wealth.But with a certain amount of reading and life experience, maybe one day you will suddenly discover its subtle influence on you. "Muran looked back, but the man was in a dimly lit place." [3]
"There is one more thing to always remember. The more books you read, the more knowledge you learn, and people should be more tolerant and peaceful, and face life more calmly. Don't let knowledge become your capital for being arrogant and crushing others. And don’t take them too much as a means of climbing up. Reading and writing are for communication, communication with others, communication with yourself, and it should be able to eliminate the barriers between people, not deepen them. Many writers and readers have gone through this full of arrogance and prejudice. I hope you don’t use literature as a show off.” She touched my cheek with her hand and smiled trustingly, “Of course, I don’t think Peve will be like this, yes Right? You're a good boy."

I bit my lip.

"It's a bit far-fetched. The fate of darkness may indeed be inevitable, just like the injustices you encounter today. The more specific things are, the more you can think of ways to deal with them. I think, on the one hand, you should try your best to fight for your rights. Teacher Wang will definitely be responsible for this matter. On the other hand, don’t let it shake your faith. The teacher can understand everyone’s reluctance. It’s a good thing to have such a reluctance. It shows that we are full of expectations instead of muddling along. You Know the story of Sisyphus? It is also a Greek legend. Sisyphus was punished by the gods to push the boulder up the mountain forever, but every time he reached the top of the mountain, the boulder would roll down. So Sisyphus pushed the boulder again and again , repeating this kind of work day after day, without end. Sometimes life is so hopeless and ineffective. However, a writer named Camus tells us that Sisyphus is happy. It is absurd to never stop pushing stones Yes, but Sisyphus knew his own misery and absurdity, and knew that his fate belonged to him, and he was the master of his own life. He denied the gods, and continued to push the stone to the top of the mountain. This is a This kind of struggle, even if the boulder fell off, climbing to the top of the mountain is enough to make people feel full. Sisyphus was not swallowed by the absurd, he chose happiness, stronger than the stone he pushed. Maybe this story is a bit obscure, so it might as well Think about the old saying, the words of Romain Rolland, "There is only one kind of heroism in the world, which is to love life after seeing the truth of life." It may not be difficult for life and destiny to crush a person, and everyone can't bear it But sometimes there is always a kind of power that can support people and keep them from being changed. Literature may provide this kind of power, or it may not, because sometimes literature can make people not see life clearly, or see life clearly I no longer love it. But life is vast, with countless possibilities. Maybe just a one-minute meeting, a look, and an unforgettable afternoon or evening are enough to support a person for a lifetime.' Gray is all theories, The golden tree of life is evergreen'."[1]
It seems that Teacher Huang also said this sentence to me, although there are subtle differences.I suddenly felt that I didn't need to ask Teacher Zhou so many questions, and I didn't need to trouble her to spend so much time answering them for me.She is right, the answer is in life.Teacher Zhou is not just a teacher on the podium, she is the one who tells us the light and the heavy in the sunshine and breeze of the literature club.I have been wondering and thinking for a long time, and the answer that I don't need to say is actually in front of me.

"Thank you teacher. I know what to do."

"I think you've changed."

I was a little surprised, but the teacher's eyes were still full of kindness, and maybe a little bit of relief.

"In the past, Peve was always afraid to look at others, whether it was talking or listening. But today, Peve is always looking at the teacher, his eyes are very bright and clean. You are more energetic than before, I heard I also started to move and did a lot of things. It’s really wise for Teacher Wang to let you be the captain.” She said, took out something from her pocket, and handed it to me, “However, there are some things that the teacher still can’t accept. .”

It's some banknotes.I came to see Mu Zheng in the ward with everyone before, and I bought a fruit basket with the money Taotao gave me. I changed all my pocket money into real money and stuffed it secretly into the fruit basket.

"Teacher... this, this is my own money. I want to help Mu Zheng. It's really not a lot, maybe it's just a drop in the bucket. No, I'm not saying enough... Mu Zheng is my friend, and the money is for me. His. After all..." I was a little at a loss for a while, I wanted to explain but I stuttered, I didn't know what to say, and I was afraid of misunderstanding.

He couldn't even look at her now.

"Don't worry, we can solve the problem by ourselves. It's already troublesome for you to come to see him, and you are also busy on weekends." The teacher stuffed the money into my palm.

"But, teacher, look..." I flicked through the crumpled banknotes in a hurry, and pulled out the unique five yuan from the 50 yuan and one hundred yuan, "The others are mine, but this five yuan bill is mine." He is a student from a branch school, and we have been rivals. His family conditions are very poor, and he can’t even buy sneakers for 20 yuan. But after knowing what happened to Mu Zheng, he also wants to help. Teacher, I understand, I understand , you are my most respected teacher, Mu Zheng is also my good brother, but you want to return the money to me, I really don't know how to tell my junior..."

"The teacher knows. Please wait for me." She patted my right shoulder, turned around and opened the door into the ward.A moment later, she came out with a book in her hand.

"We'll take this one for five yuan, and we'll take another one for 50 yuan. Please give this book to that junior. I'll give you the same one next week." She took the 55 yuan from me. For 1985 yuan, a somewhat yellowish book was handed over to me. "No Letter from the Colonel", there is a rooster drawn with a ballpoint pen on the cover, with its head held high and a flaming red comb on its head, as if it would never lower its proud head.I don't know who wrote it, Mu Zheng or Teacher Zhou?Or the heroic father I'll never see again?Or maybe from someone I'll never know.The book is very old, it was printed in 5, older than me.After repeated twists and turns, it will arrive in Feifei's schoolbag, with the rooster still holding its head high.And what I got later was a book called "The Colonel Who Nobody Wrote Letters to", which also had a rooster on the cover, but it was printed.In the years that followed, I would turn it over and over again from beginning to end, and nothing is more vivid in my memory than those last few sentences. [[-]]
I don't think I'm going to make those calls.I want to go back to the field, fight wholeheartedly, hold the part of my destiny that is still in my hand, and then wait quietly and long for the boulder to slide down from the top of the mountain.

[1] These words are quoted from Balzac's "Old Man Goriot".For the matter of Mi Le mentioned here, please refer to Chapter 20 and Chapter 27 of the second volume.

[2] "Oedipus the King" is a tragedy created by the ancient Greek writer Sophocles.Sophocles, Aeschylus, and Euripides are also known as the three major tragic poets of ancient Greece, and their representative works are "Oedipus the King" and "Antigone".Antigone is the daughter of Oedipus.

[3] Wang Guowei divides scholarship into three realms.The first realm, "Last night the westerly wind withered the green trees, I went up to the tall building alone, looking at the end of the world", from Yan Shu's "Butterfly Love Flower", which refers to searching.The second realm, "I will not regret it when the belt gradually widens, and I will make people haggard because of Yixiao", comes from Liu Yong's "Fengqiwu", which refers to persistence.The third state, "People look for him thousands of times, and suddenly look back, but the man is in a dimly lit place", comes from Xin Qiji's "Sapphire Case·Yuanxi", which is a sudden great enlightenment.

[4] Camus' interpretation of Sisyphus comes from "The Myth of Sisyphus".The words of Romain Rolland come from "The Life of Michelangelo".The last sentence comes from Liang Zongdai's version of "Faust".

[5] The two books are one book, García Márquez 1961.The former is the translated name when the copyright was not obtained. It was published in 1985, so it is relatively old.The latter is the original translation authorized by the author.The ending of the novel is very classic.The work describes the complicated feelings of an old colonel in his 70s who was looking forward to pension but could not get it, and the embarrassing life that resulted from it.The colonel participated in the revolution in his youth.After the war, the new government promised to give them pensions to spend their old age. His wife suffered from severe asthma, and his son was killed by the reactionaries. The old couple was alone. Their only hope was that the government would keep its promise and send pension gold.But the Colonel's waiting turned into a desperate waiting day after day, year after year, and the letter of the pension never seemed to come.That proud fighting cock was the only relic left by his son. The colonel's life was almost at the end of his life. He wanted to sell it several times to make ends meet, but he was unwilling to give it up in his heart.

　This is probably the end of the literary line~
　　I think Ke Ke and Mr. Zhou actually discussed the issue of "does literature have any meaning", and besides, how to live.But this kind of discussion is different from the previous discussion with Xuexue. At that time, Keke lacked the ability to act. What Xuexue told him was to "run up." Responsible, it is yourself who has to run.When discussing with Mr. Zhou, Ke Ke was already acting and running.The question is how to run, whether to run cleanly or unscrupulously, and how to face the rough and rough road.In fact, this question is simpler and more specific.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)