Wuthering Heights

Chapter 19

"Well, sir," I answered, "I hope you will think that Mrs. Heathcliff is used to being looked after and served. She was brought up like an only child, and every one would like to serve her. You She must be given a girl to tidy her things up, and she must be treated kindly. Whatever you may think of Mr. Edgar, you cannot doubt that she has strong feelings, or she would not have given up her first The elegance and comfort of her home, and her friends, feel at ease staying with you in such a desolate place."

"She gave them up because of hallucinations," he replied, "that I was a 'hero in a legend', expecting endless favors from my chivalry. I simply could not think of her as a rational being." Well, she was obsessed with trying to build my character out of ridiculous ideas, and insisted on acting on those false impressions that she loved very much. But, in the end, I think she was beginning to know me. At first I ignored her The smirks and grimaces that annoyed me, and her stubborn sense of not being able to figure out that I meant it when I told her what I thought of her feelings and of herself. Finding out that I didn't love her was such a shame. It really took a toll on her. For a moment, I believed, she couldn't teach her to understand! And yet she somehow managed to understand. For she announced it this morning as if it were startling news. Said I actually succeeded in making her hate me! That was a great work of Hercules, I assure you! If it has worked, I have a reason to thank you—can I take your word for it, Ian Sabella? Are you sure you hate me? If I leave you alone for half a day, won't you come back to me with a sigh? I dare say she would rather I pretend to be affectionate in front of you, and put It hurts her vanity to expose the truth. But I don't care who knows that the emotion is completely one-sided. I never told her a lie. She can't accuse me of showing a little bit of falsehood. We came out of the Grange, and the first thing she saw me do was hang up her puppy. When she begged me to let the dog go, the first thing I said was, I hope I hanged all that belonged to her, except one: perhaps she made this one exception her own. But cruelty did not repulse her, and I think she worshiped it in her heart, so long as her precious body was spared. Hurt! Isn't it absurd, a veritable idiot, for this poor, vile, vile bitch to dream that I can still love her now? Tell your master, Nelly, I never met her like that in my life. She has tarnished the reputation of the Linton family. I test her endurance, but she always crawls back shyly and obsequiously. Because I can't think of new tricks, sometimes I move but tell her to put her bureaucratic brother at ease, that I am strictly abiding by the law. So far I have avoided giving her even the slightest excuse for separation. Not only that, but she There is no need to thank anyone for driving us apart. If she wants to leave, feel free to do so, the disgusting look she has in front of me is far more satisfying than the satisfaction I get when I torture her."

"Mr. Heathcliff," said I, "is the word of a madman, and your wife is likely to think you are mad. So she has endured and tolerated you to this day. But since you said She can go, and there is no doubt that she will accept your permission. Madame, you are not so confused, are you, and live with him voluntarily?"

"Take care, Ellen!" replied Isabella, with anger in her eyes.It was an unmistakable expression that her husband's efforts to make her hate him had been a complete success. "Don't believe anything he says. He is a lying devil, a monster, and not a human being at all! He also said before that I can leave, and I tried to walk, but I dare not go again! Alan, I Just promise me not to say a word of his shameless talk to my brother and Catherine. No matter how much he pretends, he only wants to piss Edgar off to fight him. He says he married me to keep him. But he doesn't If not, I will die first! I only hope, I pray that he will forget his devilish prudence, and come and kill me! The only pleasure I can imagine is dying, and not watching him die.

"Well, that's enough," said Heathcliff. "If you are brought before the courts, you must remember her words, Nelly!"Take a good look at that face of hers, she's about to be what I want.No, you are not fit to be your own protector now, Isabella.I, as your legal guardian, must place you under my guardianship, however tiresome the duty may be.Go upstairs, I have something to say privately to Alan Dean.Don't go this way - go upstairs, I tell you!Why, that's the way to go upstairs, boy! "

He caught her, pushed her out of the room, and came back grumbling:
"I have no mercy! I have no mercy! The more the bugs writhe, the more I desire to squeeze out their internal organs! This is moral teething, the more it hurts, the harder I have to grind."

"Do you know what the word pity means?" I said hastily, putting on my hat. "Have you ever felt a little bit of it in your life?"

"Drop your hat!" he interrupted, seeing that I was going. "Don't go yet, come this way, Nelly. I must either persuade you or compel you to come and help me in my resolution to see Catherine without delay. I swear I will never hurt anyone. I don't want trouble. , or to irritate and insult Mr Linton. I only wish to hear from her herself what is the matter with her, and why she is ill; and ask what I can do for her. Last night I wandered six Hours, I'm going tonight. I'm going there every night, every day, until I get a chance to go in, and if Edgar Linton runs into me, I won't hesitate to knock him down and let me stay there He could have enough rest when he saw me. If his servants met me, I'd frighten them back with these pistols. But wouldn't it be better if I went to avoid meeting them, or their master? It's easy for you! I'll let you know I'm coming, and then as soon as she's alone, let me in quietly, and then let me go. And your conscience is at peace, because you want to stop things deterioration."

I protest against being allowed to do this treachery in my employer's house.Beyond that, I remarked that it was cruel and selfish to break Mrs. Linton's peace for his own gratification.

"The most ordinary things would shock her and cause her great pain," I said. "She's too nervous to take this fright, I'm sure. Don't insist, sir! Or I'll have to tell my master about your plans, and he'll take steps to defend his home and family against anything like You are such an uninvited guest!"

"If that's the case, I'll take steps to defend you first, girl!" cried Heathcliff, "and you won't be allowed to leave Wuthering Heights until tomorrow morning. It's absurd to say that Catherine can't bear to see me. Speaking of It's not my idea to scare her, you have to prepare her and ask her if I can come. You said she never mentioned my name and no one ever mentioned me to her. Who would bring me up if I were the most silent topic in the family? She thinks you are all her husband's spies. Oh, I have no doubt that she lives among you like hell! From her silence Here, as in other respects, I can guess what she felt. You say she was restless; looked restless, is that evidence of tranquility? You also speak of her being disturbed, and that she was so terribly isolated. Get up, can the ghost change her mood again? That tasteless, vile thing takes care of her out of duty and humanity! Out of pity and mercy! He might as well plant an oak tree in a pot and wait for it to branch out. Lush and luxuriant. She actually thought that in the soil of his superficial care, she would recover! Let's make a deal: Are you willing to stay here, let me wipe out Linton and his servants, and kill a bloody road to see Catherine , or would you rather be my friend, as you have been my friend to this day, and do what I tell you? Decide! Because I have no reason to delay another minute, if you insist on your stubborn bad nature !"

You see, Mr. Lockwood, I argued, complained, and frankly refused him fifty times, but at the end of the day he made me agree--I promised to help him deliver a letter to my mistress, if She agreed, and I promised to keep him informed of the next time Linton was out, and then he could come, and come in if he could—I would not be there, and my fellow servants would likewise avoid it.

Is this the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do?I'm afraid I'm doing it wrong, though it's just a quick fix.I thought I prevented another mess by complying.I also thought that this might be able to create a favorable turn for Catherine's mental illness.Then I remembered Mr. Edgar's sharp reprimands for telling me.I repeatedly said to myself that I was guilty of breaking my promise and reporting, and this should be the last time.I thereby soothe any uneasiness arising from this subject.

Even so, my journey home was more dreary than when I came.When I was able to persuade myself to put the letter into Catherine's hands, my anxieties were innumerable.

But here comes Kenneth and I have to go down and tell him you're much better.My story is, as we say, dreary, and will last another morning.

Desolate, and miserable!So I thought as the good woman went downstairs to meet the doctor.It's not exactly the kind of story I should choose to amuse myself, but that's okay!I'll make the real medicine out of Mrs. Dean's bitter herbs.First, I would, beware of the delusion that lurks in the bright eyes of Catherine Heathcliff.If I had given my heart to that young man, I should have fallen into strange troubles, the daughter was a double of her mother!
Another week has passed - I'm so much closer to health, and spring!Now I have heard the whole story of my neighbor, told at various times, as the housekeeper always finds time from her more important business.I'm going to tell the story in her own words, only slightly compressed.Overall, she's a master storyteller, and I don't feel I can add to her style.

That night, she said, the night I went to the Heights, I knew and seemed to see Heathcliff nearby.But I won't go out, because his letter is still in my pocket, and I don't want to be threatened or laughed again.

I made up my mind not to deliver the letter unless my master was away.For I cannot tell what it will be like to Catherine when she receives the letter.As a result, three days had passed, and the letter hadn't reached her yet.The fourth day was Sunday, and after the family had gone to church, I went into her room with the letter.

One of the footmen stayed with me to do the housework, and we usually locked the doors during the church hours.But this time it was so sunny and warm that I left the doors wide open.In order to fulfill my mission, as I knew someone was coming, I told my companion that the wife was very hungry for some oranges, and that he must go to the village to get some and pay the bill tomorrow.He left and I went upstairs.

Mrs. Linton, in a loose white dress, with a thin shawl thrown over her shoulders, was seated, as usual, at an open window.Part of her thick long hair was cut off at the beginning of her illness, and now it is simply combed, and it is naturally coiled on her temples and neck.Her appearance changed, as I told Heathcliff, but when she was at peace there seemed to be an unearthly beauty in the change.

The light in her eyes had been replaced by a melancholy dreamy tenderness.They no longer feel like she is looking at things around her, but they always seem to be gazing into the distance, far away, you can say that you see another world.Then, though the haggardness of her face was gone, for she regained some weight, there was a peculiar expression in her pale face, which, though painfully indicative of their origin, enhanced her beauty. .And I know that, to me, and to anyone who saw her, that must have overturned the many more obvious proofs of recovery that she was doomed to wither.

A book was spread out on the windowsill in front of her, and the pages of it were flipped every now and then by a breeze she barely noticed.I believe Linton put it there, because she never made an effort to read for amusement, or to do anything.He would spend hours trying to draw her attention to something that she liked in the first place.

She understood his motives, and in the best of moods she submitted docilely to his orders, only now and then swallowing a weary sigh to show that they were of no use, and finally checking him with the most miserable smiles and kisses.At other times she would turn away abruptly, hide her face in her hands, and even push him away angrily.Then he was careful to leave her alone because he was sure there was nothing he could do.

The bells of Gimmerton Church were still ringing.The creek in the valley was full of water, and the merry murmur of the water was melodious.It was a sweet substitute for the rustling of the trees in the summer days yet to come, which, when the trees were thick with leaves, drowned out the sweet music of the neighborhood of the Grange.At Wuthering Heights.It always murmured like this on a peaceful day after the snow melted or after a long rain.Catherine was listening and thinking, thinking of Wuthering Heights.That is, if she was really thinking and listening.But her vacant gaze into the distance, which, as I have just said, shows that neither ear nor eye can distinguish material things.

"You have a letter, Mrs. Linton," I said, slowly slipping it into one hand on her lap. "You'll have to read it right away because you're expecting a reply. Shall I open it?"

"Take it apart," she replied, without changing the direction of her eyes.

I opened the letter and it was very short.

"Now," I went on, "read the letter."

She withdrew her hand and dropped the letter to the ground.I put it back on her lap and stood waiting for her to glance down when she pleased.But the moment lingered, and at last I said:

"Must I read it, madam? The letter is from Mr. Heathcliff."

She was shocked, showing a look of struggling to remember, and tried her best to organize her thoughts.She held up the letter, as if reading it, and sighed at the signature.Still, I found that she had not grasped the letter, for when I asked her for an answer, she merely pointed to the name, and gazed at me with mournful and inquiring eagerness.

"Yeah, he wants to see you," I said, guessing she needed a human explanation. "He's in the garden at the moment, and he's getting impatient waiting for some answer from me."

As I spoke, I saw a large dog, lying in the sun on the grass below, prick up its ears as if about to bark, then drop them down again, and wag its tail, announcing that there was something it didn't think was Here come the strangers.

Mrs. Linton leaned forward and listened intently.Moments later there were footsteps crossing the hall.For Heathcliff, the temptation of the open house is too great, he can't help but want to walk in.It is probable that he thought I was deliberately evading my promise, and so decided to trust his own guts rather.

Catherine kept her eyes fixed on the door of her bedroom.He didn't go straight to the right house.She gestured to me to usher him in.But before I got to the door, he found the place, stepped over to her side in a few steps, and hugged her in his arms.

For five minutes he didn't say a word, and he didn't let go of his arms.During this time he gave her more kisses than he had kissed in all his life before that, dare I say it.But it was my mistress who kissed him first, and I clearly saw that he was so painful that he could hardly look at her face!From the moment he saw her, he was as sure as I was that there was no hope of her ultimate recovery—she was doomed, doomed to die.

"Oh, Cathy! Oh, my life! How can I bear it?" were the first words he uttered, in a tone that made no secret of his despair.

Now he was looking at her so intently that I felt that just looking at her so intensely would bring tears to his eyes.But his eyes burned with pain and did not melt into tears.

"What now?" said Catherine, falling back, her face suddenly darkening to return his gaze.Her temper is but the weathervane of her fickle heart. "You and Edgar broke my heart, Heathcliff! You both came to me for that, as if you were the ones to be pitied! I don't pity you, I don't. You kill Dead me--good enough, I think. How strong you are! How many years do you intend to live after I'm gone?"

Heathcliff kept kneeling and hugging her.He tried to get up, but she grabbed him by the hair and pinned him down.

"I wish I could hug you," she went on bitterly, "until we both die! I don't care how much you suffer. I don't care about your pain. Why shouldn't you suffer? I am suffering! When I die, will you forget me, will you be happy? Will you say, 20 years from now, 'That's Catherine Earnshaw's grave. I loved her a long time ago and I'm suffering from the loss of her Unbearable. But this is over. I have loved many people since then. My child is closer to me than she is, and when I die, I will not be happy in seeing her, I will be leaving the child grieve for us!' Would you say so, Heathcliff?"

(End of this chapter)