Xiao Shijiro

Chapter 29
One day, when Xiao Shishilang went to draw water, he suddenly found Shen Bijun sitting by the spring, looking down at his stomach.

She didn't seem to notice that Xiao Shishilang had come to her side at all.

Xiao Shishilang couldn't help asking: "What are you thinking?"

Shen Bijun seemed to be taken aback, a strange change occurred on his face immediately, and it took a long time before he forced a smile and said, "No, I didn't think about anything."

Xiao Shishilang didn't ask any more questions.

He just asked that sentence, and he is already regretting it.

Because he knew that when a woman said "I didn't think about anything", she must be thinking about many things in her heart, many things that she didn't want others to know.

These things happen to be guessed by others.

Of course Xiao Shishilang knew what Shen Bijun was thinking.

The next day, Shen Bijun found that the almost completed house had been demolished again.

The cans of unfinished wine were also empty.

Xiao Shishilang was sitting under the tree, with a hint of alcohol on his face, as if he hadn't slept all night.

Shen Bijun's heart suddenly beat faster.

She already faintly felt that something unfortunate was about to happen.

He whispered and asked, "You...why did you tear down the house?"

Xiao Shishilang had no expression on his face, he didn't even glance at her, he just said indifferently: "Since no one lives there, why don't you demolish it?"

Shen Bijun said: "Why... how come no one lives here? You..."

Xiao Shishilang said, "I'm leaving already."

Shen Bijun's whole body seemed to have suddenly cooled down, and he said in a low voice, "Let's go? Why are you leaving? Isn't this your home?"

Xiao Shishilang said: "I have already told you that I have no family, and I am a born scumbag. If I can't stay here for two months, I want to go out and cause trouble."

Shen Bijun's heart seemed to be pricked by a needle, and he couldn't help but said: "Is what you said the truth?"

Xiao Shishilang said: "Why should I lie? I'm not used to this kind of life."

Shen Bijun said: "What's so bad about this kind of life?"

Xiao Shishilang said coldly: "What you think is good, I may not think it is good too. You are fundamentally different from me. I am born a person who likes to cause trouble and seek excitement."

Shen Bijun's eyes were already wet, and he said: "But I..."

Xiao Shishilang said: "You should go too, those who should go will always go sooner or later."

Although Shen Bijun was holding back reluctantly, tears still flowed down his face.

She suddenly understood what Xiao Shishilang meant.

"He didn't really want to go, he just knew I was going."

"I couldn't have stayed here forever."

"People who should go will always have to go sooner or later."

"Even if I want to escape, how long can I escape?"

Shen Bijun gritted his teeth and said, "When shall we leave?"

Xiao Shishilang said: "Let's go now."

Shen Bijun said: "Okay."

She suddenly turned her head and ran back to the wooden house, and her crying was heard in the wooden house immediately.

Xiao Shishilang still had no expression on his face.

The wind was blowing on him, but it was still warm.

But the lake outside had already frozen...Only after leaving the valley did Shen Bijun realize that it was already winter!

Winter is coming so fast.

The roads are covered with ice and snow, and there are few pedestrians.

Xiao Shishilang took the peaches and pears grown in the valley to a big family in the city and sold them for a few taels of silver—in winter, the value of this kind of fruit is naturally very expensive. It is enough to spend on their journey.

So he hired a mule cart for Shen Bijun.

He himself was always on the outside of the wheel.

Only then did Shen Bijun know: It turned out that every penny spent by the "thief" Xiao Shishilang was justified and innocent, and was obtained by his own labor.

Even though he had robbed, it was for other people and other things.

Only then did Shen Bijun know what kind of person "Big Thief" Xiao Shishilang was.

If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn't have believed that such a person existed in the world.

Although her understanding of Xiao Shishilang is getting deeper and deeper, the distance seems to be getting farther and farther away.

In that valley, they were so close, so close that they could even hear each other's inner voice.

As soon as he was out of the valley, the distance between them immediately became farther away.

"Are we really originally people living in two worlds?"

It was snowing heavily, and it had been falling for several days.

In the small inn at the foot of the mountain, apart from them, there were no other guests.

Shen Bijun was "waiting" again.

What is she waiting for now?
It's parting!Only parting...Suddenly, a carriage stopped outside the door, and Xiao Shishilang rushed in after getting off the carriage. Although his face was pale, he looked very excited.

Seeing Xiao Shishilang come back, Shen Bijun couldn't help feeling warm in his heart.Hastily went out to greet her, Yan Ran said: "Unexpectedly, you will come back by car today."

For most men, there are probably few things in the world that are cuter and more enjoyable than the smile of the girl he likes.

Usually when Shen Bijun was smiling, Xiao Shishilang's eyes almost never left her face.Maybe it's just because he knows his chances of seeing her smile are numbered.

But today, he didn't even look at her, he just said indifferently: "This car was called for you."

Shen Bijun was stunned, and said: "I called for me..."

Women are indeed much more sensitive than men. Seeing Xiao Shishilang's expression, she immediately realized that something was wrong, and the smile on her face gradually froze.

Xiao Shishilang said: "Yes, I called for you, because you are not familiar with the roads around here."

Shen Bijun's body was shrinking back, as if he suddenly felt a biting chill.She tried to speak, but her lips were trembling.

Because she knew that Xiao Shishilang went out every day to inquire about Lian Chengbi.

It took a long time before she summoned up her courage and said, "You...have you found him?"

Xiao Shishilang said: "Yes."

His answer was short, short as a needle, terribly short.

The expression on Shen Bijun's face was also as if he had been pricked by a needle.

She had always been a well-bred woman, and she knew that a woman should be glad, after all, to hear news of her husband.

But for some reason, she couldn't make herself look pleasantly surprised.

After a long time, she asked softly, "Where is he?"

Xiao Shishilang said: "The coachman at the door knows the place, he will take you there."

Shen Bijun finally showed a smile on his face, and said, "Thank you."

Of course she knew that these three words came from her own mouth, but the voice sounded so strange and distant, as if she was listening to a stranger.

She knew she was smiling, of course, but her face was so numb, it was as if the smile was on someone else's face.

Xiao Shishilang said: "You're welcome, this is what I should do."

His voice was cold and his expression was cold.

But what about his heart?
Shen Bijun said: "Did you tell the car to wait outside?"

Xiao Shishilang said: "Yes! Fortunately, it's still early, and you can still travel a long way, and...you don't have any luggage to pack anyway."

A strange smile suddenly appeared on his face, and he continued: "And I know you must be in a hurry to leave."

Shen Bijun nodded slowly, and said, "Yes, I haven't seen him for a long time."

Xiao Shishilang said: "Okay, let's go! We may have a chance to meet in the future."

Both of them spoke very softly and slowly, as if they had to use a lot of strength to speak out.

Is this really what they want to say in their hearts, how many people in the world can have the courage to say it?
Since the heavens wanted him to meet her, why did they have to hide from each other, deceive each other, and even hurt each other... Xiao Shishilang suddenly turned around and said, "You still have a long way to go. I won't delay you any more, goodbye."

Shen Bijun said: "That's right, I still have a long way to go, you... are you leaving too?"

Xiao Shishilang said lightly: "Yes, as long as a person lives, he has to keep walking."

Shen Bijun bit his lips suddenly, and said loudly: "I want to do one more thing, I wonder if you agree or not?"

Although Xiao Shishilang stopped in his tracks, he didn't look back, and said, "What's the matter?"

Shen Bijun said: "I...I want to buy you a drink."

She seemed to have plucked up her courage, and then said: "I invited you, not you, I didn't say anything else, just said that you invited me every day, and I should invite me back once."

Xiao Shishilang said: "But you..."

Shen Bijun smiled and said: "Although I have nothing in my pocket, at least this thing can be exchanged for a few jars of wine, isn't it?"

She pulled out the gold hairpin from her head.

Although this gold hairpin is not very precious, it is the most cherished thing for her, because it was inserted on her head by Lian Chengbi himself on the first day after her marriage.

She never thought that she would exchange this gold hairpin for a few jars of wine.

But now she has absolutely no regrets, as long as she can have another drink with Xiao Shishilang, the last time, no matter what the price is, it will be worth it.

Xiao Shishilang sacrificed so much for her, she felt that she should sacrifice for him at least once.

She knew that she would never be able to repay him in this life.

Xiao Shishilang finally turned around and saw the golden hairpin in her hand.

He seemed to have a lot to say, but in the end, he just smiled lightly and said: "You know, as long as there is wine, I can never refuse."

Drunk, drunk really fast, if a person really wants to get drunk, he will definitely get drunk very fast.

Because even if he is not drunk, he can pretend to be drunk.The most wonderful thing is that if a person wants to pretend to be drunk, then in the end, even he himself can't tell whether he is pretending to be drunk or really drunk.

Xiao Shishilang was humming that song again.Drunken people are often unable to speak, but they can sing.Because singing is much easier than talking.

Shen Bijun listened quietly for a long time again, she was still sober, because she didn't dare to get drunk, she knew that once she was drunk, she would no longer be able to control herself, and she was afraid that she would do something terrible.

People who dare not die often die faster.

But those who dare not get drunk will never get drunk, because they already have this feeling in their heart. When the wine reaches a certain level, they can no longer drink it, and they will spit it out after drinking.

If a man's heart does not accept a certain thing, neither will his stomach.

The singing is still so desolate, so bleak.

Shen Bijun's eyes gradually became wet, and he couldn't help asking: "I have heard this song many times, but I still don't know what it means?"

The singing stopped suddenly, and Xiao Shishilang's eyes suddenly came back from the distant and hazy distance, fixed on Shen Bijun's face, and said, "Do you really want to know?"

Shen Bijun said: "Really."

Xiao Shishilang said: "You don't understand, it's just because this is a pastoral song sung by the Mongolian people in Guan, but if you understand the meaning of this song, I'm afraid you will never want to listen to it again."

Shen Bijun said: "Why?"

Xiao Shishilang showed that sharp sarcasm again, and said: "Because the meaning of this song will never be understood or appreciated by people like you."

Shen Bijun lowered his head and said, "Maybe... maybe I'm a little different from other people?"

Xiao Shishilang stared at her for a long time, and suddenly said loudly: "Okay, let me tell you, listen..."

He groped, found the wine, drank it all, and continued slowly: "The meaning of this song is that people in the world only know how to pity the sheep and sympathize with the sheep. Few people know the pain and loneliness of wolves. The world only sees the cruelty of the wolf when it eats the sheep, but it does not see how it endures loneliness and hunger, wandering in the ice and snow, the sheep should eat grass when they are hungry, and the wolf is hungry? Should it starve to death?"

His voice was full of grief and indignation, and his voice became louder as he spoke!
"Let me ask you, if you wandered for many days on the ice and snow wasteland with biting cold wind, without a drop of water or a grain of rice, if you saw a sheep, would you eat it?"

Shen Bijun lowered his head and never raised it.

Xiao Shishilang drank another glass of wine, suddenly hit the glass with chopsticks, and sang loudly:

In late spring and March, sheep and grass grow; the sky is cold, who feeds wolves?
The hearts of the people pity the sheep, but the hearts of the wolves are alone;

Tears welled up in Shen Bijun's eyes.

Xiao Shishilang was already lying on the table, waving his hand and saying, "I'm drunk and sleepy, let's go! You go... hurry up, since you have to go sooner or later, it's better to go earlier, lest others chase you..."

Shen Bijun's heart has never been so disturbed.

She knew that this time, she would definitely be able to go back, back to the world she was familiar with, and everything would return to stability, normality, and tranquility.

This time she went back, and there will never be anyone or anything to disturb her again.

This was what she wanted, and she should have been happy.

But now... She wiped away the tears and asked herself: "If Xiao Shishilang pulls me and asks me not to leave, will I stay for him?"

"Will I give up that kind of stable and normal life, give up honor and status, give up those who care about me, give up everything for him?"

She didn't dare to think about it anymore.

She knew that she was not a strong person, and she didn't dare to test herself.

(End of this chapter)