It turns out that it will still be lonely
Chapter 1 What is madness
Chapter 1 What is madness
01
It has been the tenth year since my little aunt Jian Lening left the city. Like every year before, the subtropical monsoon climate clearly divides Shanghai’s four seasons—January is the coldest, and February is slightly colder.
Today is February 27th in the Gregorian calendar, and the lowest temperature is minus four degrees.
I felt that someone was blocking the sunlight in front of me, so I exposed my recently fattened face from the collar of the bloated down jacket, wiped the snot that was about to fall from the tip of my nose with the scarf around my neck, and raised the brim of my hat, yes The man yelled mechanically but courteously.
"Beauty, take a look. These trinkets are very delicate. The pair of earrings in your hand were made by my friend. They are limited edition. You can try them if you like."
"Look, doesn't it look like the pair I saw in a magazine yesterday?" The girl said to her friend while holding the cheap earrings I brought back from Qipu Road wholesale.
I have long been used to talking nonsense with my eyes open. The key to selling things is to sell things. As for how to sell things, it doesn't matter whether you lie or lie.
This is what Boss Xiao and Aunt Le Ning said when they were chatting. That's right, the "Boss Xiao" I'm talking about is Xiao Jingjing who once guarded a waste recycling station and made a fortune in recent years.
Of course, I don't have Xiao Jingjing's courage and luck, so I just take advantage of weekends to sell trinkets to make some money.
"It's quite similar, but it looks like a fake, and the real one only costs a few hundred yuan, so don't buy it."
"It's only ten yuan a pair, it's pretty cheap anyway, why not buy it for fun!"
"Whatever you want, anyway, I don't buy street stalls."
……
The two girls chattered non-stop, and I looked at them with my mouth pursed. I am used to such conversations.
The two stood in front of the booth for a while, picking and choosing, but they left without buying anything in the end, talking and laughing.
Dong Shan, who came out with me, let out a chuckle, and said, "I've been picking things for so long without buying anything, and I've messed up everything. If you can afford authentic products, why come to our stall to see them! Linger, you are usually so ruthless." ? Why don't you say a few words?"
"Customer is God."
I smiled and patted her on the shoulder, then sat back on my small bench, wrapped my head tightly with a scarf, and only showed a pair of eyes looking at the street with people coming and going.
The speed of the city's construction is too fast. Ten years later, Shanghai is no longer what it used to be.
As for me, I still haven't gotten used to this city after so many years, is it because I'm not an authentic Shanghainese?
probably.
My name is Zhao Linger, an adopted girl from Shanghai.
I don't know who my biological parents are, and while I've always wanted to know, I'm actually terrified of knowing.
02
Black clouds occupied the sky above the city, and the whole world became dark.
The weather forecast said it would be cloudy and sunny today, but luckily I never believed that.
The storm was coming, and the gusty wind made the shelves of the booth "creak". I stood up from the stool and packed things together with Dong Shan.
The cold wind in the winter is like a knife on the face and hands, making cuts on the exposed skin, and you can feel subtle pain.
"It's annoying, why is it going to rain again? It's a rare weekend, and I can't do business anymore. My mother's birthday is next week, and the gift money hasn't been collected yet."
Dong Shan took out a woven bag from under the shelf, bent down and stuffed the plush toys on the ground next to it one by one, muttering dissatisfiedly.
Hearing her words, I looked up at the increasingly gloomy sky, sighed helplessly, and said, "We have to pay the tuition on Monday."
Dong Shan froze for a moment, stopped what she was doing, turned her head to look at me worriedly, and said, "Linger, have you raised enough money?"
"Obviously not."
I gave her a wry smile.
Dong Shan took out 60 yuan from her pocket and handed it to me, saying: "I only have so much, I will pay your tuition first. If it is not enough, you can ask your family for it, and your mother will definitely give it to you. She is very happy." I love you, you don't have to be so independent."
I shook my head and rejected Dong Shan's kindness. I didn't accept the money, and continued to pack my things, muttering: "My family bought that house and owed a lot of money. The loan alone is a lot. You know my dad I work as a plumber on a construction site, and my mother works as a waiter in a hotel. How much money can I have? I’m an adult, so if I can ask my family for money, I’ll try not to.”
"That's right, the housing prices in Shanghai have risen too much now, and the loan on my house has not been paid off." Dong Shan said with deep empathy, glanced at the money in her hand, and still wanted to give it to me, "This money is still for you Well, as for my mother's gift, I'll buy a cheap one."
I pushed her hand away and refused again, not wanting to worry her, so I explained: "He Shuang is a partner with us, and the purchase money I gave is still with me. Anyway, I don't need to purchase for the time being. I will use it to pay the tuition first. After selling this batch of goods, there will be funds to purchase the goods.”
Only then did Dong Shan take back the money, nodded, and said: "This method is fine. Then forget it, I'm not polite, I'll keep the money for myself first. Let's pack up and go home, it's going to rain soon. "
I responded and quickened my movements.
A few drops of rain hit my body, it was icy cold, and I couldn't help shivering.
I just put away the shelf and was about to leave, but someone pressed my shoulder hard.
"Spirit ear!"
Dong Shan looked at me with wide eyes and screamed, as if there was something terrible behind me, her expression was extremely frightened.
"Who asked you to set up a stall here? It has been said many times that you are not allowed to occupy the road here, don't you know?"
A rough voice sounded, and I yelled in my heart that something was wrong, and I had a headache.
The screams of other hawkers came from nearby, and there was a scene of flying dogs and dogs in front of them. Several hawkers fled around like headless chickens with their goods.
The big hands on my shoulders were getting stronger and stronger. I gritted my teeth and winked at Dong Shan who was holding the box and shaking. I secretly exerted force on my hands, bent down, and broke away from the man's hand.When the man stretched out his hand again, I quickly threw the box in my hand towards him, and I still didn't forget to yell at Dong Shan: "Run!"
It seems to be a Tai Sui today, and it is rare to have time to set up a stall, but it has encountered such weather, and now it has even encountered urban management.
After finally escaping from the urban management, I didn't care to get the box that was detained, so I got into the crowd.
Dong Shan gave up carrying the woven bag containing the plush toy after I made a sound, and ran away with only one of our remaining cargo boxes on her back.
Another reason I don't like this city is that there are too many people on the streets, and there are too many obstacles when escaping.
I'm like a loach crawling through the crowd.
The heavy rain came suddenly with thunder, and I became the most embarrassing drowned chicken in this rain.
03
I don't know how far I ran, and I stood in the icy rain drenched, looking at the increasingly rare crowd, and the barren ruins in front of me made me want to scream out loud.
For a moment just now, I wanted to keep running like this, leave this city that I can't fit in, leave forever.
But where can I go?
When I was eight years old, I ran away from home for the first time because I found out that I was adopted and felt that my strict parents did not love me.My immature heart couldn't see the essence of love, so I chose to leave home to find my biological parents who abandoned me.
What could an eight-year-old me know?Such a small child, walking on the gravel road that was still full of bumps and holes, carrying a dilapidated schoolbag, came out of school after school, instead of going home, he chose a completely unfamiliar road, not knowing where to go, only one thought in his heart ——I'm not my own, my parents don't love me, I want to leave.I felt wronged and desperate, as if people all over the world abandoned me when they learned that my biological parents didn’t want me, and my adoptive parents didn’t love me. I was so young, crying all the way, stumbling all the way forward .
Then I met Lin Jiarui, a boy ten years older than me—a friend of my little aunt Jian Lening.
Sure enough, at the age of eight, I was still afraid of leaving home, so even if I chose to leave, I was just wandering the streets not far from home.I believe that every child who has ever wanted to run away from home and put his thoughts into action did not really want to leave, but because the home lacked something that they wanted in their hearts.
I squatted in front of Lin Jiarui's grandfather's shop and wept sadly. After being frustrated by Aunt Le Ning's, the lively boy in my memory sat in front of his grandfather's shop in a daze, not knowing what he was thinking.
I squatted beside him and cried for a long time. At that time, I wondered whether this somewhat familiar person was Aunt Le Ning's friend.I want to ask him for help because I want to go home.
Before I really left, I started to miss it.
But I didn't dare to take the initiative to ask him for help. Zhao Ling'er was a very introverted child when he was a child.
I just kept crying, trying to get Lin Jiarui's attention by crying.After a long time, when I was so hoarse from crying, he lazily stood up from the small square stool, and walked slowly towards me with his hands in his trouser pockets.He looked down at me squatting on the ground condescendingly, showing his white teeth, and said, "Girl, I'll take you to your aunt."
Look, I said he knew my Aunt Le Ning.
I wiped away my tears and nodded to him, but ignored what he said was to send me to Aunt Le Ning, not to send me home.
So, he took my hand and walked into the night.It turned out that I had been out for so long, it was already dark.
Mom came back from get off work and found that I was not at home, would she rush to find me?Will my father, who is working far away on the construction site, lose his temper when he finds out about this, and then run home and beat me up?What about the rest?Would Aunt Le Ning, who always looked at me in a daze with sad eyes, also worry about me?
My little hand was wrapped by Lin Jiarui's big hand, and a warmth came from his palm.The handsome young man seemed to sense my uneasiness, lowered his head and smiled at me, his gaze was a little erratic.
"Girl, if you have any unhappy things, you should tell them. Don't keep it in your heart like your aunt, and feel sad alone."
"What's wrong with Aunt Le Ning?" I raised my head and asked him, my voice still nasal after crying.
"She—" Lin Jiarui made a long ending, paused for a long time, then raised her head and said with a wry smile, "It's nothing, it's just that I made a mistake and made her angry."
"Oh."
I responded, and saw that he didn't intend to continue speaking, so I also fell silent.I have always been a child who doesn't love and talk too much with people I don't know well.
It wasn't until a long time later that I knew what the "wrong" Lin Jiarui said at that time was, and what it was that he raised his head to prevent me from seeing the light in his eyes.That's because he lost Aunt Le Ning, and I finally understood the reason for the sadness in Aunt Le Ning's eyes.
It’s just that I realized it too late. After I grew up and fell in love with Lin Jiarui; when Aunt Le Ning went to find Xu Yan disheartened and Lin Jiarui cried secretly because of her departure; not long ago, After Lin Jiarui, who had gradually grown into a man from a young age, came back with a woman named Ji Hang, I realized belatedly and painfully that Lin Jiarui took care of me for so many years because I had an aunt named Jane Lening.
Lin Jiarui, who had been obsessed with An Xiaoduo for several years and never gave up, but after my Aunt Le Ning left, no longer attached to love and succumbed to reality, because she lost someone who wanted to love with her life, she no longer loved with her heart.
The Lin Jiarui who once said to me, "Girl, if you have any unhappy things, you should tell them, don't hide them in your heart, you will be sad alone"; I laughed and laughed with me, watching me change from introverted to extroverted, watching Lin Jiarui grow up step by step, I thought he was the person I knew best in this city, but he was just a stranger I never understood people.
My parents had been too busy working and traveling for decades with huge mortgages and daily expenses to pay attention to me.Even though I know they love me, I still can't feel the warmth that I should have.It's ridiculous, even when I had my first period at the age of 13, the first person I looked for was Lin Jiarui.
In this city, that person has unconsciously become my reliance.I thought I had begun to understand how to integrate into this city, but in the end I found that I was still the lonely and helpless child when I was eight years old.
04
The cold rain water chilled my heart. I sat slumped in the depths of the ruins, neither crying nor fussing. Looking at the edge of the city, my heart was as calm as a pool of stagnant water.
Actually, I don't know what's wrong with me, I think, I just can't accept the fact that Lin Jiarui has a fiancée.
Yes, I like Lin Jiarui - the man ten years older than me.However, this kind of love is just my one-sided crush, and no one knows.Because I'm afraid that when I say it, someone will laugh at my child's ignorance and mistake dependence for love.
When He Shuang called, I had already stood up from the ground, and the cold wind was blowing too hard for me.No matter how much rain or wind blows outside, it will not change the fact that Lin Jiarui is engaged.
"Linger, where are you? I'm with Dong Shan, come here, I have something to talk to you." Trembling, I took out my phone from my pocket, pressed the answer button, and put it to my ear, He Shuang's voice Immediately.
"What's the matter?" I asked hoarsely.
He Shuang didn't want to talk to me any more, and only left a sentence, "You'll know when you come here, we're at the entrance of the big shopping mall next to the one you just set up a stall", and quickly hung up the phone.
He Shuang's tone was different from before, it sounded unhappy and a little angry.I vaguely guessed why she was like this, so I stretched out my hand and rubbed her temples, and then walked towards the place He Shuang said, all wet.
"Linger, are you okay? You look like you just crawled out of a water tank."
At the entrance of a tea bar on the first floor of Wanda Plaza, Dong Shan yelled out in astonishment when she saw me.
I didn't answer her, waved my hand to signal her to stop talking, then walked to the window of the tea bar and knocked a few times, hooking my fingers to signal He Shuang, who was sitting by the window in the shop, to come out.
The environment of the tea bar is very quiet, I look so embarrassed, not to mention that I don't want to go in and be looked at with contempt, even the waiters inside will not let me in.
As if he didn't want to waste time with me, He Shuang quickly walked out with his satchel in his hand, reaching out to me without saying a word.
"Zhao Linger, return the partnership money I gave you this month!"
"What do you mean?"
I raised my eyebrows subconsciously and looked at He Shuang who was half a head shorter than me.
"It's nothing interesting, it's just that I suddenly don't want to partner with you. Don't think I don't know. You met the urban management today and lost all your goods. If there is a first time, there will be a second time. Who knows if you will do it next time?" I will lose the goods, and then there will be no money for me." He Shuang said angrily.
I turned my head to look at Dong Shan, she was looking at me with her head tilted in embarrassment, her hand was red from the cold, tightly clutching our only remaining cargo box.
"I didn't bring your money with me. It's okay if you want to get it back, but please return the 200 yuan you took away from us in advance last week." I said lightly. For some reason, I felt very exhausted.
"That's my share of money, why should I return it to you?"
Dong Shan held me back, wanting me to stop talking, but I ignored her obstruction and continued: "Your money for joining the group has not been used to purchase goods, so you are not considered to be officially in the group. The share you take is ours. I'm sorry for the last batch of goods, since you withdrew the capital halfway, then naturally you don't have your share of the previous share."
He Shuang's face became more and more ugly, and he said with a trembling voice: "Okay, Zhao Linger, you are cruel! I can't pay you now, so how about it, I gave you five hundred, you can refund it now I'm three hundred."
"Not now, I just said that the money is not with me." I refused coldly.
He Shuang sneered disapprovingly and said, "You think you're lying to a three-year-old kid! Would you not bring any money when you set up a street stall? Even if you didn't bring so much, didn't you make any business today? Zhao Linger, take out the money, I don’t have the patience to waste money with you. I already knew that you are only interested in money. The whole S knows that you stole other people’s money and was arrested and sent to the police station. partnership."
"At the beginning, you saw our high profits and wanted to join the partnership with envy, but now you say that you were the one who joined us because you had a brain twitch. You can't rely on me for a penny!" I gritted my teeth and said sharply.
Thanks to these ten years of tempering me, I have become less easy to bully.
"You didn't steal it? If you didn't steal it, why did the teacher send you to the police station? The devil believes that you are innocent! But I know that a thief will not admit that he is a thief. In fact, it is none of my business whether you stole or not. I just want you to give me my money back."
"He Shuang, don't be like this. Linger and I didn't bring much money when we came out today, and we met the city management before the business was done." Dong Shan pulled He Shuang and explained.
I pulled Dong Shan away, stood in front of He Shuang, stuffed all the more than 100 yuan in my pocket into her hand, and said blankly: "You can ask for money, but you must apologize to me. You scold me You are a thief, please apologize to me, or you will never get the rest of the money!"
He Shuang jumped up angrily, put the money in his hand into the bag, and scolded me: "Zhao Linger, don't think I don't know what you're planning, don't you just want to cheat my money? You want me to I apologize to you, there is no way! I have decided on the money, if you don't give me the money, I will bring this matter to the school and let everyone see your ugly face!"
"He Shuang, don't go too far. Ling'er didn't say she wouldn't give you money, but just asked you to apologize. She never stole other people's money. You are wrong to say that. We are classmates, why should you How about this? You were the one who approached us to join the group, but now you suddenly turned your back on us. You said it was because we encountered the urban management, but Linger and I have been setting up a stall for so long, and this is the first time we have encountered the urban management. If you insist on making a big fuss about this matter, there is nothing we can do about it. We will give you the money, don’t worry!" Dong Shan couldn’t be more angry, and started to speak for me.
I stood aside and shook my head helplessly. If He Shuang could make sense, it wouldn't be He Shuang.
really……
"I don't care what your reasons are. If I don't see all the money, I won't trust you anymore. Zhao Linger, I've said my ugly words first, and you want me to apologize. There's no way! Your matter is a certainty. Everyone in the school knows, if you don’t let me say it, other people won’t say it? Do you want everyone to apologize to you? If you don’t give me the money, I will definitely make trouble at the school.” He Shuanghao Said without backing down.
"Huh!" I sneered, "He Shuang, I still say the same thing, you can't get the rest of the money until you apologize. It doesn't matter what others say about me, just don't let me hear it. You want to make trouble at school , then you go, the incident was so big back then, I, Zhao Linger, survived, and I was afraid that you would fail? What's more, I was justified this time. If you don't scold me, I will naturally give you the money when I go home , I just want you to apologize, it's because you don't want to apologize."
"Zhao Linger! You...you think I'm afraid of you?"
There are always so many ridiculous people in this world who like to put their self-righteousness on others.
I didn't answer He Shuang's words, but pulled Dong Shan aside to prepare to leave.After walking a few steps, Dong Shan shook off my hand, ran to He Shuang who was in a panic, took out the tens of dollars she wanted to give me from her pocket, and gave it to He Shuang.
"Now we have paid you more than 200 yuan back and forth, and you only have a few dozen yuan with us. You apologize to Linger, and we will give you the rest of the money. Don't say we want to cheat your money. It's only a few dozen dollars, and we're not in the mood yet." Dong Shan clapped her hands and said, and ran to me with the box, leaving He Shuang stunned.
05
The rain had subsided unknowingly, and Dong Shan and I were waiting at the bus station to go home.
Dong Shan asked me: "Linger, are you angry with me?"
I turned to look at her and asked, "Why am I mad at you?"
Dong Shan said: "Because I gave He Shuang the money, hasn't she apologized to you yet?"
"It's not that I don't want to give her money, I just want her to apologize. In fact, I know that He Shuang will definitely not apologize to me, but even so, I will give her the rest of the money in the end. You just gave I'll return her money to you when I get home."
"You don't need to return it to me in a hurry, don't you still have to pay the tuition fee? Now it's all over, your money has been given to He Shuang, what do you pay for it? Linger, you should ask your family for it!" Dong Shan asked again Once around to the topic we talked about before.
I shook my head and said, "Actually, things in my family are not as simple as you think."
"What's wrong? What happened to your family?" Dong Shan asked me worriedly.
I kept silent and didn't answer.
"You don't want to say it. Anyway, I only have one sentence. If you need help, just ask. Although we have only known each other for less than three years, I will not believe what He Shuang said about your past. I know who you are." Dong Shan patted her chest and said boldly.
I patted her on the shoulder and comforted her: "Don't worry, I have money. Don't forget, we still have college funds."
"You want to use that money?" Dong Shan exclaimed.
I didn't make a sound, it was my default.
Since Dong Shan and I were assigned to the liberal arts class, we set up street stalls together during the holidays to make money and prepare for college.Both of our families are not well-off. People say that people in Shanghai are rich, but in fact there are rich and poor everywhere.Shanghainese are indeed rich, but there are also those without money, such as us.
This year, although we didn’t make much money from setting up street stalls, Dong Shan and I also accumulated a considerable amount of savings, at least enough to pay my tuition fees for this semester, return He Shuang, and make up for this purchase.
We waited for a while, and the bus finally came.After Dong Shan and I got on the bus, we found out that we had given all the money to He Shuang just now, and now we don’t even have the money to take the bus.
Under the watchful eyes of the driver, we got out of the car in despair, laughing awkwardly and self-deprecatingly.
"What should we do now? Let's go back!" Dong Shan said.
I spread my hands helplessly and said, "That's the only way."
The bus station is five stops away from our home. Dong Shan and I live in the same area, but in different neighborhoods, not far apart.Walking home from here, it will take half an hour if you go fast.Anyway, there are not many goods left, and I am not in the mood to continue setting up stalls today.
We left as soon as we said, and the two of us took turns carrying the only cargo box and walked towards home.
We chatted along the way, and finally Dong Shan couldn't help asking me.
"Linger, were you really arrested and taken to the police station before? What was the reason?" Dong Shan asked while carefully observing my expression. Seeing that I didn't answer, she thought I was angry, so she quickly explained, "I'm not doubting your character, I'm just curious. If you don't want to tell me, just pretend I didn't ask!"
In fact, I am not angry, but wondering where to start.
"Dong Shan, have you ever envied others to eat the omelette with tenderloin in it that costs three yuan a piece?"
I suddenly said such a sentence, Dong Shan looked at me in astonishment, swallowed her saliva, and replied in a daze: "It depends on when! It's like I'm hungry now, and I have no money. If When someone eats in front of me, not to mention egg pancakes, I envy even a steamed bun."
"Yeah! That's the thing. My mother rarely gave me pocket money since I was a child. Unless it was necessary expenses, I would not give anything else. When I was in elementary school, I was young and didn't care much about not having pocket money. But when I entered middle school, the environment was different, and every student around me would have a lot of pocket money, but I still didn’t.” Having said that, I smiled wryly, and then continued, “In the second grade, I became a As a life committee member, all the class fees paid by my classmates are placed with me. I suddenly have a lot of money, and I am both disturbed and excited. But I know that for me, the money is the temptation of Adam and Eve in the Bible. Forbidden fruit, you can’t touch it. But several times when I came home from school, I saw many students gathered around the omelet stall at the school gate, each holding an omelette in their hands and eating it with great relish. I really wanted to try that It’s a taste, but touching my empty pockets, I had no choice but to give up. The way I stared at the omelets in the hands of my classmates every day but didn’t buy them attracted the attention of my classmates, so someone secretly laughed at me behind my back. At first I didn't care, but once, I heard the comments of several girls in the class very clearly. They said that they were very happy every time they saw me staring at the egg pancake with envy. After I heard those ugly words After speaking, I finally couldn't help but want to maintain my self-esteem. I embezzled three dollars from Ban Ferry and bought egg pancakes. After eating, I realized that the taste I had always envied was nothing more than this."
"They sent you to the police station because of the three yuan?" Dong Shan asked me in surprise.
"No, in fact, I quickly asked my mother for three yuan to make up for the work fee. But then I discovered that the money I had been hiding at the bottom of my schoolbag was missing. Someone stole the class fee, but Everyone thought I took it, because they all saw it, and I bought a three-yuan egg pancake, who had never bought snacks. No one listened to my explanation, because a classmate testified, and I couldn’t hand it in money, so the teacher was also very angry. At that time, everyone thought I was a thief, so I was sent to the police station. Fortunately, even though I was terrified at the time, I did not admit to this trumped-up charge. Later, someone took me away , but the school still didn’t believe me. In the end, in order to settle the matter, my parents paid for it, and the school stopped, but I can’t get rid of that imposed crime anymore. Hehe, it sounds ridiculous, I I just want to try the omelette that many people can afford.”
The words that have been hidden in my heart for several years are suddenly said, and it turns out to be much simpler than imagined.It's all in the past, isn't it, it's all in the past.
"Linger, are you okay? Don't think too much about it. The person who stole the money is the most abominable person, and those who accuse you without knowing the truth are also abominable. Don't worry, God is fair. The negative energy that made you sad will become your positive energy in the future." Dong Shan held my hand and comforted me sincerely.
I smiled at her, and what she said was right, if I didn't have the negative energy again and again, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now.
It felt like we hadn't chatted for long with Dong Shan before we saw the sign of the bus stop closest to home.The two looked at each other and smiled, and started to run.
We will be home in less than 5 minutes, and all the unpleasantness in life will disappear with the passage of time.
06
After parting with Dong Shan, I returned home.
There was no one at home, so I opened the refrigerator, took out the leftovers from yesterday, heated them up, and ate them to solve the problem of lunch.
Not long after lunch, the sky, which had been pouring rain before, began to clear up.Thinking about the loss in the morning, the tuition fees to be paid, and the money to be returned to He Shuang, I became anxious.Now that the weather is fine, I will take advantage of the high traffic in the weekend afternoon and go out to set up a stall.
I asked Dong Shan to set up a stall together, but Dong Shan said that she had a fever due to the rain, so she didn't go with me.
Obviously we got in the rain together, and my clothes were much wetter than hers, but I didn't feel any discomfort, maybe it's because I'm tougher than others.
I first went to Dong Shan's house and took the remaining box of goods to the nearby vegetable market. After paying some stall fees, I started to set up a stall for business.
Open your eyes, close your eyes, an afternoon passed quickly.At four or five o'clock in the evening, there are many people in the vegetable market, most of them are women who come to buy vegetables.I'm a little fortunate that the box of goods left behind are all trinkets that girls like. Because they are sold very cheaply, many people buy them.
I did some random calculations, and I actually had an income of just over 100 yuan in one afternoon.
Look, isn't life the alternation of positive energy and negative energy?
I carried my half-empty suitcase and walked home. The glass of the surrounding buildings reflected my figure, and I showed my teeth and smiled towards the glass.Looking at himself wearing a thick coat and messy hair, he suddenly felt much happier.
Come on, Zhao Linger.
When there is no one to help, I am always used to using such words to encourage myself.
I came out of the vegetable market and walked down the street. At the end of the street, I saw a few social youths bullying a thin boy.I recognized the boy being bullied at a glance, and suddenly felt that life is full of surprises everywhere.
I actually met Ye Lan here.
Seeing Ye Lan bowed his head in silence, I remembered the first time I saw him.
That time, I was wronged precisely because of the class fee. After returning home and being taught a lesson by my mother, I ran out of the house again on impulse.
Lin Jiarui was not at home at that time, he was in college.I couldn't talk to him about my distress, so I took the three yuan that was supposed to cover the class fee and got on the subway to another district in Shanghai.
This time I was more competitive than when I was eight years old, and ran a little farther.
On the subway, I met Ye Lan who also ran away from home.
Ye Lan, who is about my age, is particularly conspicuous in the crowd, not because he is so special, but because of the fear of the outside world that he radiates from the inside out.
I still clearly remember that I was sitting at the end of the third car of the subway. He had a black schoolbag hanging on his chest and a cowboy cap on his head, squatting pitifully at the head of the fourth car like a clown.After one stop, people will come up, and when there are too many people, it will be very crowded.When someone squeezed close to him, he would tremble for a while, and then shrank his body into the corner, wishing that he would shrink into the size of an ant, so that no one could touch him, as if no one would hurt him this way.
I'm sure it was his first time away from home, or perhaps his first time out of the house.
I had nothing to do, so I kept staring at him curiously.The people in the carriage changed from one batch to another, neither of us wanted to get off, since we didn't know where we were going anyway.Just like the bridge in the movie, we actually sat on the subway from day to night.During this period, I changed several sitting positions, but he was like a sculpture, curled up in a corner and never moved.For a moment I wondered if he was dead.
"Hello! What's your name?"
I don't know what time it is at night, there are not many people in the subway, so I simply sat next to him and couldn't help asking him.
Ye Lan didn't react at first, I shouted several times before he raised his head from his arms and looked at me with clear eyes, looking innocent and innocent.
I had a thought at the time, how long has this person been out, why hasn't he been abducted?
The second thought was, Is he dumb or deaf?Because I repeated the question several times, he didn't answer.
There are always all kinds of strange people in the world, and Ye Lan is one of them.In fact, I didn't really want to know who he was. I was just too bored and wanted to talk to someone.If he doesn't speak, I will speak alone.But I'm not a person who talks a lot, so the atmosphere froze after I said a few words.
At first I thought that maybe he wasn't listening to me at all, so I didn't want to continue talking to him about my three-dollar egg pancake.But as soon as I stopped, I felt something touch my arm.I turned my head to look, and found that the boy stretched out two white and slender fingers and gently pulled my clothes.
I couldn't help but say, "You're such a sissy!"
He obviously didn't understand what I was saying and just looked at me blankly with wide eyes.After getting close, I could see clearly what Ye Lan looked like.I think I'm right, he really looks like a girl, with red lips, white teeth, fair complexion, delicate eyebrows and eyes, he probably looks more like a girl than me.
When I was young, my mother liked to buy me beautiful skirts and hair accessories to dress me up. Later, the pressure of life became more and more serious. My mother was busy with work and had no time to take care of me. Gradually, I stopped dressing up and dressed casually and sloppily.
So, when I was wearing a worn-out school uniform and short hair that exposed ears, sitting next to Ye Lan, who was well-dressed, neat and tidy, and whose hair was about the same length as mine, I suddenly felt ashamed.I moved my body in embarrassment, trying to stay away from Ye Lan, but he stretched out two fingers to scratch my wide sleeve.
"Speak." He spoke very slowly, probably because he didn't speak often, but his voice was pleasant.
"What are you talking about?" I was tickled by him, so I sat back and asked him angrily.
"Egg cake."
I gave a clear "Oh" and continued my previous topic, God knows why I would tell these things to a stranger.It is estimated that except for him, a simple stranger, no one will believe my one-sided words.
I just want to find someone to talk about my inner thoughts.
Since I was a child, I have always wanted to find someone who can understand what I am thinking.
We didn't get off until the subway driver got off work and the subway was out of service.We hang around the subway station, I don't have any money, but the guy has money.I didn't expect him to be a generous person. He generously treated me to a bowl of Ajisen Ramen for 26 yuan and a cup of DQ ice cream for 18 yuan.
After I suffered for a three-yuan omelet, I met this generous boy, and I can say that it was a blessing in disguise.
It was the first time I ate DQ ice cream, so like a bumpkin who had never seen the world, I kept stuffing it into my mouth and asked him vaguely: "It seems that your parents gave you a lot of pocket money, and your family has a lot of money." Money? Then why did you run away from home?"
Compared to me, Ye Lan's eating is very elegant. He didn't speak, but just bent down to show me the left side of his face.Only then did I realize that there were a few red finger marks on his fair left face.
"You were beaten?"
He didn't speak.
"Your father beat you, or your mother?"
He remained silent.
"I'm tired of talking to you, can't you answer me?"
"Hello!" Seeing that he didn't answer, I was a little angry and ran away on purpose.
He thought I was going to leave him, so he ran over and grabbed my sleeve, and said with difficulty: "Auntie hit me."
"Your aunt hit you, you wouldn't tell your parents? What are you doing out there? It's not fun to run away from home." I said angrily.
It makes me sad to think about my predicament. It never really occurred to me to run away from home.
Ye Lan didn't speak until the end, and I didn't bother to ask him again.
We went to KFC near the subway station, which is open 24 hours, and we decided to spend the night there.I thought about taking the subway for another day the next day, and going on like this until I spent all of Ye Lan's money, or until our family found us.
In the KFC store, Ye Lan spelled out his name with french fries, pulled me to look at it, and smirked at me, like a child inviting pets.
Ye Lan and I didn't stay outside for long, and his family quickly found us.Ye Lan's family should be very rich, and his father looked rich and powerful at first glance.Only when we were found did I know who the aunt Ye Lan was referring to was her father's second wife. Ye Lan's mother seemed to have passed away a long time ago.
Ye Lan was pulled into his family's private car. His father said that I cheated on his son's money, so I was sent to the police station.
It was also at the police station that I learned that although Ye Lan's intelligence was the same as that of ordinary people, the reason why he was not very talkative was because he suffered from autism and had expressive language barriers.
Autism seems to be also called autism.
If loneliness is a disease, then I, like Ye Lan, also suffer from autism, but which type of autism am I?I don't know either.
Not long after I entered the police station, my parents who had been looking for me but were not as capable as Ye Lan’s father who could find me so quickly also came. They picked me up, and naturally they were harsh on me when I got home. education.
Since then, I have cut off contact with Ye Lan until now.
I didn't expect to meet him again a few years later, and I could recognize him at a glance.
Except that she has grown taller and her facial features have opened up, Ye Lan has not changed at all.
His delicate face still had a guarded expression, as well as fear of the world.
I think Ye Lan's autism has not healed yet.
Me too, I'm still alone.
07
"Hey, are you deaf? Didn't you hear me asking you to take out the money? I want to be beaten!"
Several boys pushed Ye Lan against the electric pole by the side of the road, and the leading boy grabbed Ye Lan by the collar and roared angrily.
I think these people are stupid. They don't look at the place when they cause trouble. The police station is diagonally across the road.
When I led a policeman to run over, I saw Ye Lan being beaten by those people.
The piercing whistle sounded, and the policeman yelled and rushed forward.The young boys turned around and ran away when they saw the police.
After they left, I dared to help Ye Lan. I was still very afraid of those young people in society.
"I can't control this kind of thing. These little hooligans are very rampant recently. It seems that if they don't catch a few of them, they will only become more and more rampant." The policeman said while looking at Ye Lan, "Boy, I'm not hurt. Right? Little girl, take him to the hospital to have a look. Be careful when you go out in the future, and don’t reveal your wealth.”
The policeman left after speaking. I was still trying to pull Yelan up by the side of the road. He looked seriously injured and couldn't get up while holding his stomach.Seeing me touch him, he habitually avoided my hand, probably not recognizing me.
That's right, it's said that the Eighteenth Change of the Women's University, we only met once before, and we haven't seen each other for four years now, probably he has long forgotten the girl named Zhao Ling'er he met on the subway.
He didn't want to accept my help, and I couldn't help it.Regardless of him pushing me away again, I forcefully pulled him up from the ground.
I patted the dust on his body casually, dragged him with one hand, and carried the cargo box on the ground with the other, preparing to go to the nearby hospital.
But he didn't know good from bad, and opened my fingers one by one with amazing stubbornness.
I got angry, so I simply ignored him and left with the box.But like four years ago, he stretched out a few fingers and pulled my sleeve pitifully, and whispered: "Ear."
"What ears! My name is Zhao Ling'er, don't yell!" I yelled angrily, and hit him with a cargo box, afraid of hurting him, I really couldn't laugh or cry.
Ye Lan pulled me back, pointed at herself and said, "I...I am Ye Lan."
I know you are Ye Lan.
I laughed secretly in my heart, stood firm, and looked at him speechlessly.
"I thought you didn't remember me, and you hit me just now." Ye Lan complained, clutching her arm that was hit by my cargo box, pouted.
I rolled my eyes at him and thought: You are the one who didn't recognize me at first, so why don't you let me help you up.
I looked at Ye Lan carefully, he was kicked a few times, but there was no serious injury.
I asked him why he was covering his stomach, and he actually told me that he hid his wallet in the hem of his clothes for fear of being searched.
I couldn't figure it out, so I asked him: "Isn't your family quite rich? Why don't you want to part with the money and insist on being kicked a few times?"
Ye Lan smiled mysteriously and said, "That's different."
Looking at the smiling Ye Lan in front of me, I found that he was different from four years ago. He seemed not as closed as before, and he was willing to answer my questions.
It turned out that his autism improved over time, but I seemed to be getting more and more lonely.Upon discovering this, I felt inexplicably a little lost.
"Give them money, they will still beat me, so it's better not to pay them." Ye Lan said.
Although his words were brief, his meaning was clear.
It's right to think about it, those local hooligans are immoral people, so they don't care whether you give money or not.
I laughed at myself, maybe I'm not as smart as Ye Lan.
After chatting casually for a few words, I found out that Ye Lan's family has moved to our area, and they live in a relatively expensive villa area in our area.Just hearing the name of their community, I feel a little emotional. The rich are really different. They can easily buy tens of millions of houses, but we have to bear unbearable debts for a house of more than 100 million.
Ye Lan talks more than four years ago, and when he sees that I am not talking, he will take the initiative to find topics.Ye Lan said that he was the one who moved here, just to attend the school here.
I couldn't help asking "Which school do you go to?", unexpectedly Ye Lan transferred to our school.
Our school is not the best school in Shanghai, but Ye Lan's family can definitely go to the best school. I don't know why he chose our school.
Ye Lan said that he likes it.
like?I really can't think of anything Ye Lan likes about our school.
Before I knew it, I took Ye Lan to my neighborhood, and Ye Lan asked in surprise, "Ear, do you live here?"
"Hmm." I replied lightly, as if I lost interest in chatting with him.
Ye Lan was very excited, he said: "Next time I come to play with you, let's take the subway again."
I thought for a while before I understood what Ye Lan was talking about.He seemed to want to sit on the subway and chat with me from day to night as he did when he ran away from home.
That's not a fun thing, I don't know what Ye Lan is still thinking about.I couldn't help but want to laugh at Ye Lan's childishness, but suddenly remembered that he had autism, so I held back my mouth.
Ye Lan is different from ordinary people. It seems that time will not be able to cure Ye Lan's autism after all. He is still the innocent boy I knew back then, afraid of things outside, but curious about them.
08
I'm at the gate of the community, and I should go home.
Ye Lan waved goodbye to me with a smile, and stepped back again and again.
I knew he was going to go home, but I don't know why, just like back then, I felt in my heart that a person like him would always be in danger of being abducted when he went out.
Thinking of how he was blackmailed before, I sighed helplessly and stopped him: "Ye Lan, let me take you home!"
Ye Lan turned her head in surprise, looked at me with raised eyebrows, and asked, "Why?"
I couldn't bear to mention his autism, which is different from ordinary people, so I pretended to be annoyed and said: "I want to see your villa! Why, why don't you let me see it?"
"Let." Ye Lan said.
"However, you have to pay me the bus fare in advance. My money is locked in the cargo box, so it's hard to get it." I clapped the cargo box in my hand and said to Ye Lan jokingly.
Unexpectedly, after hearing what I said, Ye Lan took out her wallet and stuffed it to me without saying a word.
I froze for a moment, I didn't expect Ye Lan to give me money, and gave me so much.
I held Ye Lan's bulging wallet, looked at the gray sky, and smiled slyly: "Ye Lan, let's take a taxi to your house."
Ye Lan nodded without hesitation.
I was defeated by his innocence, it seems that I was right to worry, if I don't send him home, he will probably be cheated away.
I opened the wallet and looked. There was a thick wad of cash and a few brand-new credit cards in it, which showed that his father loved him very much. A middle school student has so much money to spend, and there are even credit cards.But his father never seemed to think about whether Ye Lan would spend the money.
I took out those credit cards and asked Ye Lan if he had used them, and he said bluntly that he hadn't.
Ye Lan doesn't use these cards, so what's the point of his father giving them to him?It would be too perfunctory to show his father's love for Ye Lan just by this, just like my parents did to me.
I think, Ye Lan is the same as me, what we want is not money or other material things, but the company of family members.
Every lonely child longs for someone to care about.
In the car, I curiously asked Ye Lan why he ran out today.
Ye Lan said that he came out to meet a friend, but that person didn't come, and he lost his way when he went back.
I thought to myself, what kind of friend is he who doesn't even know Ye Lan's physical condition?She even dared to ask him out.If you want to meet, can't you just go to your house and find him?
Ye Lan didn't mention who that person was. I scolded that person a few words, and seeing Ye Lan's face getting more and more ugly, I shut up wisely and looked out of the car window in embarrassment.It's other people's business, so what right do I have to judge.
The taxi drove directly into the villa area of Ye Lan's family, and drove all the way to his door.When I arrived at his house, I was a little lucky, at least Ye Lan still remembered the house number of his house.
Hearing the sound of the taxi's engine, someone came out of Ye Lan's house.It looked familiar, but I recalled it carefully, only to realize that it was Ye Lan's aunt.
Seeing Ye Lan, she ran over anxiously and shouted: "Xiao Lan, where have you been? I can't find you no matter what, I'm so anxious."
From the first time we met, I didn't like Ye Lan's father and his aunt, one was because his father sent me to the police station, and the other was because Ye Lan's aunt suspected that I was lying to Ye Lan when she first saw me. Lan's money.Anyway, neither of them are very pleasant people.
I stood aside and felt that Ye Lan's aunt was hypocritical, so I sneered unconsciously.
If she was really worried, why would she stay at home, shouldn't she go out to find Ye Lan?This kind of talk can only be heard as a joke.
Hearing my laughter, Ye Lan's aunt looked at me sullenly and asked Ye Lan who I was.It seems that she has forgotten the little girl who was sent to the police station by them back then.
Ye Lan ignored her, just grabbed my hand, trying to pull me in.
I don't want to see Ye Lan's aunt's hypocrisy, and I don't really want to see his villa, it's just an excuse to send him back.So I shook off Ye Lan's hand and rejected him.
"It's getting dark, if I don't go back, my mother will have to wait." After speaking, I returned Ye Lan's wallet to him.
When his aunt saw it, she immediately became vigilant, snatched the wallet from me quickly, and scolded Ye Lan with a straight face: "I don't even know who she is, how dare you give the wallet to others?"
Here it is again, with the same face as before, it looks disgusting.
I didn't want to stay any longer, so I waved to Ye Lan, opened the door of the taxi that was still waiting, and prepared to leave.
Suddenly, my hand was grabbed by Ye Lan.
I saw him grabbing me with one hand, snatching the wallet from his aunt angrily with the other, stuffing it into my hand angrily, and saying, "I'll give you the ears, don't pay attention to her."
I took my wallet, not knowing how to feel about this windfall.Ye Lan seemed to be crazy, not afraid of my pain, she pushed me into the car with all her might, and urged the driver to leave quickly.Finally, he ran into the house without even looking at his aunt.
I don't know why, seeing Ye Lan's aunt's shocked expression and jumping feet in anger, I feel inexplicably happy.
I held the wallet that Ye Lan had forced for me, and I walked all the way home with a smile on my lips.
However, I will not tamper with his money, I still have to find a chance to return this wallet to Ye Lan.
(End of this chapter)
01
It has been the tenth year since my little aunt Jian Lening left the city. Like every year before, the subtropical monsoon climate clearly divides Shanghai’s four seasons—January is the coldest, and February is slightly colder.
Today is February 27th in the Gregorian calendar, and the lowest temperature is minus four degrees.
I felt that someone was blocking the sunlight in front of me, so I exposed my recently fattened face from the collar of the bloated down jacket, wiped the snot that was about to fall from the tip of my nose with the scarf around my neck, and raised the brim of my hat, yes The man yelled mechanically but courteously.
"Beauty, take a look. These trinkets are very delicate. The pair of earrings in your hand were made by my friend. They are limited edition. You can try them if you like."
"Look, doesn't it look like the pair I saw in a magazine yesterday?" The girl said to her friend while holding the cheap earrings I brought back from Qipu Road wholesale.
I have long been used to talking nonsense with my eyes open. The key to selling things is to sell things. As for how to sell things, it doesn't matter whether you lie or lie.
This is what Boss Xiao and Aunt Le Ning said when they were chatting. That's right, the "Boss Xiao" I'm talking about is Xiao Jingjing who once guarded a waste recycling station and made a fortune in recent years.
Of course, I don't have Xiao Jingjing's courage and luck, so I just take advantage of weekends to sell trinkets to make some money.
"It's quite similar, but it looks like a fake, and the real one only costs a few hundred yuan, so don't buy it."
"It's only ten yuan a pair, it's pretty cheap anyway, why not buy it for fun!"
"Whatever you want, anyway, I don't buy street stalls."
……
The two girls chattered non-stop, and I looked at them with my mouth pursed. I am used to such conversations.
The two stood in front of the booth for a while, picking and choosing, but they left without buying anything in the end, talking and laughing.
Dong Shan, who came out with me, let out a chuckle, and said, "I've been picking things for so long without buying anything, and I've messed up everything. If you can afford authentic products, why come to our stall to see them! Linger, you are usually so ruthless." ? Why don't you say a few words?"
"Customer is God."
I smiled and patted her on the shoulder, then sat back on my small bench, wrapped my head tightly with a scarf, and only showed a pair of eyes looking at the street with people coming and going.
The speed of the city's construction is too fast. Ten years later, Shanghai is no longer what it used to be.
As for me, I still haven't gotten used to this city after so many years, is it because I'm not an authentic Shanghainese?
probably.
My name is Zhao Linger, an adopted girl from Shanghai.
I don't know who my biological parents are, and while I've always wanted to know, I'm actually terrified of knowing.
02
Black clouds occupied the sky above the city, and the whole world became dark.
The weather forecast said it would be cloudy and sunny today, but luckily I never believed that.
The storm was coming, and the gusty wind made the shelves of the booth "creak". I stood up from the stool and packed things together with Dong Shan.
The cold wind in the winter is like a knife on the face and hands, making cuts on the exposed skin, and you can feel subtle pain.
"It's annoying, why is it going to rain again? It's a rare weekend, and I can't do business anymore. My mother's birthday is next week, and the gift money hasn't been collected yet."
Dong Shan took out a woven bag from under the shelf, bent down and stuffed the plush toys on the ground next to it one by one, muttering dissatisfiedly.
Hearing her words, I looked up at the increasingly gloomy sky, sighed helplessly, and said, "We have to pay the tuition on Monday."
Dong Shan froze for a moment, stopped what she was doing, turned her head to look at me worriedly, and said, "Linger, have you raised enough money?"
"Obviously not."
I gave her a wry smile.
Dong Shan took out 60 yuan from her pocket and handed it to me, saying: "I only have so much, I will pay your tuition first. If it is not enough, you can ask your family for it, and your mother will definitely give it to you. She is very happy." I love you, you don't have to be so independent."
I shook my head and rejected Dong Shan's kindness. I didn't accept the money, and continued to pack my things, muttering: "My family bought that house and owed a lot of money. The loan alone is a lot. You know my dad I work as a plumber on a construction site, and my mother works as a waiter in a hotel. How much money can I have? I’m an adult, so if I can ask my family for money, I’ll try not to.”
"That's right, the housing prices in Shanghai have risen too much now, and the loan on my house has not been paid off." Dong Shan said with deep empathy, glanced at the money in her hand, and still wanted to give it to me, "This money is still for you Well, as for my mother's gift, I'll buy a cheap one."
I pushed her hand away and refused again, not wanting to worry her, so I explained: "He Shuang is a partner with us, and the purchase money I gave is still with me. Anyway, I don't need to purchase for the time being. I will use it to pay the tuition first. After selling this batch of goods, there will be funds to purchase the goods.”
Only then did Dong Shan take back the money, nodded, and said: "This method is fine. Then forget it, I'm not polite, I'll keep the money for myself first. Let's pack up and go home, it's going to rain soon. "
I responded and quickened my movements.
A few drops of rain hit my body, it was icy cold, and I couldn't help shivering.
I just put away the shelf and was about to leave, but someone pressed my shoulder hard.
"Spirit ear!"
Dong Shan looked at me with wide eyes and screamed, as if there was something terrible behind me, her expression was extremely frightened.
"Who asked you to set up a stall here? It has been said many times that you are not allowed to occupy the road here, don't you know?"
A rough voice sounded, and I yelled in my heart that something was wrong, and I had a headache.
The screams of other hawkers came from nearby, and there was a scene of flying dogs and dogs in front of them. Several hawkers fled around like headless chickens with their goods.
The big hands on my shoulders were getting stronger and stronger. I gritted my teeth and winked at Dong Shan who was holding the box and shaking. I secretly exerted force on my hands, bent down, and broke away from the man's hand.When the man stretched out his hand again, I quickly threw the box in my hand towards him, and I still didn't forget to yell at Dong Shan: "Run!"
It seems to be a Tai Sui today, and it is rare to have time to set up a stall, but it has encountered such weather, and now it has even encountered urban management.
After finally escaping from the urban management, I didn't care to get the box that was detained, so I got into the crowd.
Dong Shan gave up carrying the woven bag containing the plush toy after I made a sound, and ran away with only one of our remaining cargo boxes on her back.
Another reason I don't like this city is that there are too many people on the streets, and there are too many obstacles when escaping.
I'm like a loach crawling through the crowd.
The heavy rain came suddenly with thunder, and I became the most embarrassing drowned chicken in this rain.
03
I don't know how far I ran, and I stood in the icy rain drenched, looking at the increasingly rare crowd, and the barren ruins in front of me made me want to scream out loud.
For a moment just now, I wanted to keep running like this, leave this city that I can't fit in, leave forever.
But where can I go?
When I was eight years old, I ran away from home for the first time because I found out that I was adopted and felt that my strict parents did not love me.My immature heart couldn't see the essence of love, so I chose to leave home to find my biological parents who abandoned me.
What could an eight-year-old me know?Such a small child, walking on the gravel road that was still full of bumps and holes, carrying a dilapidated schoolbag, came out of school after school, instead of going home, he chose a completely unfamiliar road, not knowing where to go, only one thought in his heart ——I'm not my own, my parents don't love me, I want to leave.I felt wronged and desperate, as if people all over the world abandoned me when they learned that my biological parents didn’t want me, and my adoptive parents didn’t love me. I was so young, crying all the way, stumbling all the way forward .
Then I met Lin Jiarui, a boy ten years older than me—a friend of my little aunt Jian Lening.
Sure enough, at the age of eight, I was still afraid of leaving home, so even if I chose to leave, I was just wandering the streets not far from home.I believe that every child who has ever wanted to run away from home and put his thoughts into action did not really want to leave, but because the home lacked something that they wanted in their hearts.
I squatted in front of Lin Jiarui's grandfather's shop and wept sadly. After being frustrated by Aunt Le Ning's, the lively boy in my memory sat in front of his grandfather's shop in a daze, not knowing what he was thinking.
I squatted beside him and cried for a long time. At that time, I wondered whether this somewhat familiar person was Aunt Le Ning's friend.I want to ask him for help because I want to go home.
Before I really left, I started to miss it.
But I didn't dare to take the initiative to ask him for help. Zhao Ling'er was a very introverted child when he was a child.
I just kept crying, trying to get Lin Jiarui's attention by crying.After a long time, when I was so hoarse from crying, he lazily stood up from the small square stool, and walked slowly towards me with his hands in his trouser pockets.He looked down at me squatting on the ground condescendingly, showing his white teeth, and said, "Girl, I'll take you to your aunt."
Look, I said he knew my Aunt Le Ning.
I wiped away my tears and nodded to him, but ignored what he said was to send me to Aunt Le Ning, not to send me home.
So, he took my hand and walked into the night.It turned out that I had been out for so long, it was already dark.
Mom came back from get off work and found that I was not at home, would she rush to find me?Will my father, who is working far away on the construction site, lose his temper when he finds out about this, and then run home and beat me up?What about the rest?Would Aunt Le Ning, who always looked at me in a daze with sad eyes, also worry about me?
My little hand was wrapped by Lin Jiarui's big hand, and a warmth came from his palm.The handsome young man seemed to sense my uneasiness, lowered his head and smiled at me, his gaze was a little erratic.
"Girl, if you have any unhappy things, you should tell them. Don't keep it in your heart like your aunt, and feel sad alone."
"What's wrong with Aunt Le Ning?" I raised my head and asked him, my voice still nasal after crying.
"She—" Lin Jiarui made a long ending, paused for a long time, then raised her head and said with a wry smile, "It's nothing, it's just that I made a mistake and made her angry."
"Oh."
I responded, and saw that he didn't intend to continue speaking, so I also fell silent.I have always been a child who doesn't love and talk too much with people I don't know well.
It wasn't until a long time later that I knew what the "wrong" Lin Jiarui said at that time was, and what it was that he raised his head to prevent me from seeing the light in his eyes.That's because he lost Aunt Le Ning, and I finally understood the reason for the sadness in Aunt Le Ning's eyes.
It’s just that I realized it too late. After I grew up and fell in love with Lin Jiarui; when Aunt Le Ning went to find Xu Yan disheartened and Lin Jiarui cried secretly because of her departure; not long ago, After Lin Jiarui, who had gradually grown into a man from a young age, came back with a woman named Ji Hang, I realized belatedly and painfully that Lin Jiarui took care of me for so many years because I had an aunt named Jane Lening.
Lin Jiarui, who had been obsessed with An Xiaoduo for several years and never gave up, but after my Aunt Le Ning left, no longer attached to love and succumbed to reality, because she lost someone who wanted to love with her life, she no longer loved with her heart.
The Lin Jiarui who once said to me, "Girl, if you have any unhappy things, you should tell them, don't hide them in your heart, you will be sad alone"; I laughed and laughed with me, watching me change from introverted to extroverted, watching Lin Jiarui grow up step by step, I thought he was the person I knew best in this city, but he was just a stranger I never understood people.
My parents had been too busy working and traveling for decades with huge mortgages and daily expenses to pay attention to me.Even though I know they love me, I still can't feel the warmth that I should have.It's ridiculous, even when I had my first period at the age of 13, the first person I looked for was Lin Jiarui.
In this city, that person has unconsciously become my reliance.I thought I had begun to understand how to integrate into this city, but in the end I found that I was still the lonely and helpless child when I was eight years old.
04
The cold rain water chilled my heart. I sat slumped in the depths of the ruins, neither crying nor fussing. Looking at the edge of the city, my heart was as calm as a pool of stagnant water.
Actually, I don't know what's wrong with me, I think, I just can't accept the fact that Lin Jiarui has a fiancée.
Yes, I like Lin Jiarui - the man ten years older than me.However, this kind of love is just my one-sided crush, and no one knows.Because I'm afraid that when I say it, someone will laugh at my child's ignorance and mistake dependence for love.
When He Shuang called, I had already stood up from the ground, and the cold wind was blowing too hard for me.No matter how much rain or wind blows outside, it will not change the fact that Lin Jiarui is engaged.
"Linger, where are you? I'm with Dong Shan, come here, I have something to talk to you." Trembling, I took out my phone from my pocket, pressed the answer button, and put it to my ear, He Shuang's voice Immediately.
"What's the matter?" I asked hoarsely.
He Shuang didn't want to talk to me any more, and only left a sentence, "You'll know when you come here, we're at the entrance of the big shopping mall next to the one you just set up a stall", and quickly hung up the phone.
He Shuang's tone was different from before, it sounded unhappy and a little angry.I vaguely guessed why she was like this, so I stretched out my hand and rubbed her temples, and then walked towards the place He Shuang said, all wet.
"Linger, are you okay? You look like you just crawled out of a water tank."
At the entrance of a tea bar on the first floor of Wanda Plaza, Dong Shan yelled out in astonishment when she saw me.
I didn't answer her, waved my hand to signal her to stop talking, then walked to the window of the tea bar and knocked a few times, hooking my fingers to signal He Shuang, who was sitting by the window in the shop, to come out.
The environment of the tea bar is very quiet, I look so embarrassed, not to mention that I don't want to go in and be looked at with contempt, even the waiters inside will not let me in.
As if he didn't want to waste time with me, He Shuang quickly walked out with his satchel in his hand, reaching out to me without saying a word.
"Zhao Linger, return the partnership money I gave you this month!"
"What do you mean?"
I raised my eyebrows subconsciously and looked at He Shuang who was half a head shorter than me.
"It's nothing interesting, it's just that I suddenly don't want to partner with you. Don't think I don't know. You met the urban management today and lost all your goods. If there is a first time, there will be a second time. Who knows if you will do it next time?" I will lose the goods, and then there will be no money for me." He Shuang said angrily.
I turned my head to look at Dong Shan, she was looking at me with her head tilted in embarrassment, her hand was red from the cold, tightly clutching our only remaining cargo box.
"I didn't bring your money with me. It's okay if you want to get it back, but please return the 200 yuan you took away from us in advance last week." I said lightly. For some reason, I felt very exhausted.
"That's my share of money, why should I return it to you?"
Dong Shan held me back, wanting me to stop talking, but I ignored her obstruction and continued: "Your money for joining the group has not been used to purchase goods, so you are not considered to be officially in the group. The share you take is ours. I'm sorry for the last batch of goods, since you withdrew the capital halfway, then naturally you don't have your share of the previous share."
He Shuang's face became more and more ugly, and he said with a trembling voice: "Okay, Zhao Linger, you are cruel! I can't pay you now, so how about it, I gave you five hundred, you can refund it now I'm three hundred."
"Not now, I just said that the money is not with me." I refused coldly.
He Shuang sneered disapprovingly and said, "You think you're lying to a three-year-old kid! Would you not bring any money when you set up a street stall? Even if you didn't bring so much, didn't you make any business today? Zhao Linger, take out the money, I don’t have the patience to waste money with you. I already knew that you are only interested in money. The whole S knows that you stole other people’s money and was arrested and sent to the police station. partnership."
"At the beginning, you saw our high profits and wanted to join the partnership with envy, but now you say that you were the one who joined us because you had a brain twitch. You can't rely on me for a penny!" I gritted my teeth and said sharply.
Thanks to these ten years of tempering me, I have become less easy to bully.
"You didn't steal it? If you didn't steal it, why did the teacher send you to the police station? The devil believes that you are innocent! But I know that a thief will not admit that he is a thief. In fact, it is none of my business whether you stole or not. I just want you to give me my money back."
"He Shuang, don't be like this. Linger and I didn't bring much money when we came out today, and we met the city management before the business was done." Dong Shan pulled He Shuang and explained.
I pulled Dong Shan away, stood in front of He Shuang, stuffed all the more than 100 yuan in my pocket into her hand, and said blankly: "You can ask for money, but you must apologize to me. You scold me You are a thief, please apologize to me, or you will never get the rest of the money!"
He Shuang jumped up angrily, put the money in his hand into the bag, and scolded me: "Zhao Linger, don't think I don't know what you're planning, don't you just want to cheat my money? You want me to I apologize to you, there is no way! I have decided on the money, if you don't give me the money, I will bring this matter to the school and let everyone see your ugly face!"
"He Shuang, don't go too far. Ling'er didn't say she wouldn't give you money, but just asked you to apologize. She never stole other people's money. You are wrong to say that. We are classmates, why should you How about this? You were the one who approached us to join the group, but now you suddenly turned your back on us. You said it was because we encountered the urban management, but Linger and I have been setting up a stall for so long, and this is the first time we have encountered the urban management. If you insist on making a big fuss about this matter, there is nothing we can do about it. We will give you the money, don’t worry!" Dong Shan couldn’t be more angry, and started to speak for me.
I stood aside and shook my head helplessly. If He Shuang could make sense, it wouldn't be He Shuang.
really……
"I don't care what your reasons are. If I don't see all the money, I won't trust you anymore. Zhao Linger, I've said my ugly words first, and you want me to apologize. There's no way! Your matter is a certainty. Everyone in the school knows, if you don’t let me say it, other people won’t say it? Do you want everyone to apologize to you? If you don’t give me the money, I will definitely make trouble at the school.” He Shuanghao Said without backing down.
"Huh!" I sneered, "He Shuang, I still say the same thing, you can't get the rest of the money until you apologize. It doesn't matter what others say about me, just don't let me hear it. You want to make trouble at school , then you go, the incident was so big back then, I, Zhao Linger, survived, and I was afraid that you would fail? What's more, I was justified this time. If you don't scold me, I will naturally give you the money when I go home , I just want you to apologize, it's because you don't want to apologize."
"Zhao Linger! You...you think I'm afraid of you?"
There are always so many ridiculous people in this world who like to put their self-righteousness on others.
I didn't answer He Shuang's words, but pulled Dong Shan aside to prepare to leave.After walking a few steps, Dong Shan shook off my hand, ran to He Shuang who was in a panic, took out the tens of dollars she wanted to give me from her pocket, and gave it to He Shuang.
"Now we have paid you more than 200 yuan back and forth, and you only have a few dozen yuan with us. You apologize to Linger, and we will give you the rest of the money. Don't say we want to cheat your money. It's only a few dozen dollars, and we're not in the mood yet." Dong Shan clapped her hands and said, and ran to me with the box, leaving He Shuang stunned.
05
The rain had subsided unknowingly, and Dong Shan and I were waiting at the bus station to go home.
Dong Shan asked me: "Linger, are you angry with me?"
I turned to look at her and asked, "Why am I mad at you?"
Dong Shan said: "Because I gave He Shuang the money, hasn't she apologized to you yet?"
"It's not that I don't want to give her money, I just want her to apologize. In fact, I know that He Shuang will definitely not apologize to me, but even so, I will give her the rest of the money in the end. You just gave I'll return her money to you when I get home."
"You don't need to return it to me in a hurry, don't you still have to pay the tuition fee? Now it's all over, your money has been given to He Shuang, what do you pay for it? Linger, you should ask your family for it!" Dong Shan asked again Once around to the topic we talked about before.
I shook my head and said, "Actually, things in my family are not as simple as you think."
"What's wrong? What happened to your family?" Dong Shan asked me worriedly.
I kept silent and didn't answer.
"You don't want to say it. Anyway, I only have one sentence. If you need help, just ask. Although we have only known each other for less than three years, I will not believe what He Shuang said about your past. I know who you are." Dong Shan patted her chest and said boldly.
I patted her on the shoulder and comforted her: "Don't worry, I have money. Don't forget, we still have college funds."
"You want to use that money?" Dong Shan exclaimed.
I didn't make a sound, it was my default.
Since Dong Shan and I were assigned to the liberal arts class, we set up street stalls together during the holidays to make money and prepare for college.Both of our families are not well-off. People say that people in Shanghai are rich, but in fact there are rich and poor everywhere.Shanghainese are indeed rich, but there are also those without money, such as us.
This year, although we didn’t make much money from setting up street stalls, Dong Shan and I also accumulated a considerable amount of savings, at least enough to pay my tuition fees for this semester, return He Shuang, and make up for this purchase.
We waited for a while, and the bus finally came.After Dong Shan and I got on the bus, we found out that we had given all the money to He Shuang just now, and now we don’t even have the money to take the bus.
Under the watchful eyes of the driver, we got out of the car in despair, laughing awkwardly and self-deprecatingly.
"What should we do now? Let's go back!" Dong Shan said.
I spread my hands helplessly and said, "That's the only way."
The bus station is five stops away from our home. Dong Shan and I live in the same area, but in different neighborhoods, not far apart.Walking home from here, it will take half an hour if you go fast.Anyway, there are not many goods left, and I am not in the mood to continue setting up stalls today.
We left as soon as we said, and the two of us took turns carrying the only cargo box and walked towards home.
We chatted along the way, and finally Dong Shan couldn't help asking me.
"Linger, were you really arrested and taken to the police station before? What was the reason?" Dong Shan asked while carefully observing my expression. Seeing that I didn't answer, she thought I was angry, so she quickly explained, "I'm not doubting your character, I'm just curious. If you don't want to tell me, just pretend I didn't ask!"
In fact, I am not angry, but wondering where to start.
"Dong Shan, have you ever envied others to eat the omelette with tenderloin in it that costs three yuan a piece?"
I suddenly said such a sentence, Dong Shan looked at me in astonishment, swallowed her saliva, and replied in a daze: "It depends on when! It's like I'm hungry now, and I have no money. If When someone eats in front of me, not to mention egg pancakes, I envy even a steamed bun."
"Yeah! That's the thing. My mother rarely gave me pocket money since I was a child. Unless it was necessary expenses, I would not give anything else. When I was in elementary school, I was young and didn't care much about not having pocket money. But when I entered middle school, the environment was different, and every student around me would have a lot of pocket money, but I still didn’t.” Having said that, I smiled wryly, and then continued, “In the second grade, I became a As a life committee member, all the class fees paid by my classmates are placed with me. I suddenly have a lot of money, and I am both disturbed and excited. But I know that for me, the money is the temptation of Adam and Eve in the Bible. Forbidden fruit, you can’t touch it. But several times when I came home from school, I saw many students gathered around the omelet stall at the school gate, each holding an omelette in their hands and eating it with great relish. I really wanted to try that It’s a taste, but touching my empty pockets, I had no choice but to give up. The way I stared at the omelets in the hands of my classmates every day but didn’t buy them attracted the attention of my classmates, so someone secretly laughed at me behind my back. At first I didn't care, but once, I heard the comments of several girls in the class very clearly. They said that they were very happy every time they saw me staring at the egg pancake with envy. After I heard those ugly words After speaking, I finally couldn't help but want to maintain my self-esteem. I embezzled three dollars from Ban Ferry and bought egg pancakes. After eating, I realized that the taste I had always envied was nothing more than this."
"They sent you to the police station because of the three yuan?" Dong Shan asked me in surprise.
"No, in fact, I quickly asked my mother for three yuan to make up for the work fee. But then I discovered that the money I had been hiding at the bottom of my schoolbag was missing. Someone stole the class fee, but Everyone thought I took it, because they all saw it, and I bought a three-yuan egg pancake, who had never bought snacks. No one listened to my explanation, because a classmate testified, and I couldn’t hand it in money, so the teacher was also very angry. At that time, everyone thought I was a thief, so I was sent to the police station. Fortunately, even though I was terrified at the time, I did not admit to this trumped-up charge. Later, someone took me away , but the school still didn’t believe me. In the end, in order to settle the matter, my parents paid for it, and the school stopped, but I can’t get rid of that imposed crime anymore. Hehe, it sounds ridiculous, I I just want to try the omelette that many people can afford.”
The words that have been hidden in my heart for several years are suddenly said, and it turns out to be much simpler than imagined.It's all in the past, isn't it, it's all in the past.
"Linger, are you okay? Don't think too much about it. The person who stole the money is the most abominable person, and those who accuse you without knowing the truth are also abominable. Don't worry, God is fair. The negative energy that made you sad will become your positive energy in the future." Dong Shan held my hand and comforted me sincerely.
I smiled at her, and what she said was right, if I didn't have the negative energy again and again, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now.
It felt like we hadn't chatted for long with Dong Shan before we saw the sign of the bus stop closest to home.The two looked at each other and smiled, and started to run.
We will be home in less than 5 minutes, and all the unpleasantness in life will disappear with the passage of time.
06
After parting with Dong Shan, I returned home.
There was no one at home, so I opened the refrigerator, took out the leftovers from yesterday, heated them up, and ate them to solve the problem of lunch.
Not long after lunch, the sky, which had been pouring rain before, began to clear up.Thinking about the loss in the morning, the tuition fees to be paid, and the money to be returned to He Shuang, I became anxious.Now that the weather is fine, I will take advantage of the high traffic in the weekend afternoon and go out to set up a stall.
I asked Dong Shan to set up a stall together, but Dong Shan said that she had a fever due to the rain, so she didn't go with me.
Obviously we got in the rain together, and my clothes were much wetter than hers, but I didn't feel any discomfort, maybe it's because I'm tougher than others.
I first went to Dong Shan's house and took the remaining box of goods to the nearby vegetable market. After paying some stall fees, I started to set up a stall for business.
Open your eyes, close your eyes, an afternoon passed quickly.At four or five o'clock in the evening, there are many people in the vegetable market, most of them are women who come to buy vegetables.I'm a little fortunate that the box of goods left behind are all trinkets that girls like. Because they are sold very cheaply, many people buy them.
I did some random calculations, and I actually had an income of just over 100 yuan in one afternoon.
Look, isn't life the alternation of positive energy and negative energy?
I carried my half-empty suitcase and walked home. The glass of the surrounding buildings reflected my figure, and I showed my teeth and smiled towards the glass.Looking at himself wearing a thick coat and messy hair, he suddenly felt much happier.
Come on, Zhao Linger.
When there is no one to help, I am always used to using such words to encourage myself.
I came out of the vegetable market and walked down the street. At the end of the street, I saw a few social youths bullying a thin boy.I recognized the boy being bullied at a glance, and suddenly felt that life is full of surprises everywhere.
I actually met Ye Lan here.
Seeing Ye Lan bowed his head in silence, I remembered the first time I saw him.
That time, I was wronged precisely because of the class fee. After returning home and being taught a lesson by my mother, I ran out of the house again on impulse.
Lin Jiarui was not at home at that time, he was in college.I couldn't talk to him about my distress, so I took the three yuan that was supposed to cover the class fee and got on the subway to another district in Shanghai.
This time I was more competitive than when I was eight years old, and ran a little farther.
On the subway, I met Ye Lan who also ran away from home.
Ye Lan, who is about my age, is particularly conspicuous in the crowd, not because he is so special, but because of the fear of the outside world that he radiates from the inside out.
I still clearly remember that I was sitting at the end of the third car of the subway. He had a black schoolbag hanging on his chest and a cowboy cap on his head, squatting pitifully at the head of the fourth car like a clown.After one stop, people will come up, and when there are too many people, it will be very crowded.When someone squeezed close to him, he would tremble for a while, and then shrank his body into the corner, wishing that he would shrink into the size of an ant, so that no one could touch him, as if no one would hurt him this way.
I'm sure it was his first time away from home, or perhaps his first time out of the house.
I had nothing to do, so I kept staring at him curiously.The people in the carriage changed from one batch to another, neither of us wanted to get off, since we didn't know where we were going anyway.Just like the bridge in the movie, we actually sat on the subway from day to night.During this period, I changed several sitting positions, but he was like a sculpture, curled up in a corner and never moved.For a moment I wondered if he was dead.
"Hello! What's your name?"
I don't know what time it is at night, there are not many people in the subway, so I simply sat next to him and couldn't help asking him.
Ye Lan didn't react at first, I shouted several times before he raised his head from his arms and looked at me with clear eyes, looking innocent and innocent.
I had a thought at the time, how long has this person been out, why hasn't he been abducted?
The second thought was, Is he dumb or deaf?Because I repeated the question several times, he didn't answer.
There are always all kinds of strange people in the world, and Ye Lan is one of them.In fact, I didn't really want to know who he was. I was just too bored and wanted to talk to someone.If he doesn't speak, I will speak alone.But I'm not a person who talks a lot, so the atmosphere froze after I said a few words.
At first I thought that maybe he wasn't listening to me at all, so I didn't want to continue talking to him about my three-dollar egg pancake.But as soon as I stopped, I felt something touch my arm.I turned my head to look, and found that the boy stretched out two white and slender fingers and gently pulled my clothes.
I couldn't help but say, "You're such a sissy!"
He obviously didn't understand what I was saying and just looked at me blankly with wide eyes.After getting close, I could see clearly what Ye Lan looked like.I think I'm right, he really looks like a girl, with red lips, white teeth, fair complexion, delicate eyebrows and eyes, he probably looks more like a girl than me.
When I was young, my mother liked to buy me beautiful skirts and hair accessories to dress me up. Later, the pressure of life became more and more serious. My mother was busy with work and had no time to take care of me. Gradually, I stopped dressing up and dressed casually and sloppily.
So, when I was wearing a worn-out school uniform and short hair that exposed ears, sitting next to Ye Lan, who was well-dressed, neat and tidy, and whose hair was about the same length as mine, I suddenly felt ashamed.I moved my body in embarrassment, trying to stay away from Ye Lan, but he stretched out two fingers to scratch my wide sleeve.
"Speak." He spoke very slowly, probably because he didn't speak often, but his voice was pleasant.
"What are you talking about?" I was tickled by him, so I sat back and asked him angrily.
"Egg cake."
I gave a clear "Oh" and continued my previous topic, God knows why I would tell these things to a stranger.It is estimated that except for him, a simple stranger, no one will believe my one-sided words.
I just want to find someone to talk about my inner thoughts.
Since I was a child, I have always wanted to find someone who can understand what I am thinking.
We didn't get off until the subway driver got off work and the subway was out of service.We hang around the subway station, I don't have any money, but the guy has money.I didn't expect him to be a generous person. He generously treated me to a bowl of Ajisen Ramen for 26 yuan and a cup of DQ ice cream for 18 yuan.
After I suffered for a three-yuan omelet, I met this generous boy, and I can say that it was a blessing in disguise.
It was the first time I ate DQ ice cream, so like a bumpkin who had never seen the world, I kept stuffing it into my mouth and asked him vaguely: "It seems that your parents gave you a lot of pocket money, and your family has a lot of money." Money? Then why did you run away from home?"
Compared to me, Ye Lan's eating is very elegant. He didn't speak, but just bent down to show me the left side of his face.Only then did I realize that there were a few red finger marks on his fair left face.
"You were beaten?"
He didn't speak.
"Your father beat you, or your mother?"
He remained silent.
"I'm tired of talking to you, can't you answer me?"
"Hello!" Seeing that he didn't answer, I was a little angry and ran away on purpose.
He thought I was going to leave him, so he ran over and grabbed my sleeve, and said with difficulty: "Auntie hit me."
"Your aunt hit you, you wouldn't tell your parents? What are you doing out there? It's not fun to run away from home." I said angrily.
It makes me sad to think about my predicament. It never really occurred to me to run away from home.
Ye Lan didn't speak until the end, and I didn't bother to ask him again.
We went to KFC near the subway station, which is open 24 hours, and we decided to spend the night there.I thought about taking the subway for another day the next day, and going on like this until I spent all of Ye Lan's money, or until our family found us.
In the KFC store, Ye Lan spelled out his name with french fries, pulled me to look at it, and smirked at me, like a child inviting pets.
Ye Lan and I didn't stay outside for long, and his family quickly found us.Ye Lan's family should be very rich, and his father looked rich and powerful at first glance.Only when we were found did I know who the aunt Ye Lan was referring to was her father's second wife. Ye Lan's mother seemed to have passed away a long time ago.
Ye Lan was pulled into his family's private car. His father said that I cheated on his son's money, so I was sent to the police station.
It was also at the police station that I learned that although Ye Lan's intelligence was the same as that of ordinary people, the reason why he was not very talkative was because he suffered from autism and had expressive language barriers.
Autism seems to be also called autism.
If loneliness is a disease, then I, like Ye Lan, also suffer from autism, but which type of autism am I?I don't know either.
Not long after I entered the police station, my parents who had been looking for me but were not as capable as Ye Lan’s father who could find me so quickly also came. They picked me up, and naturally they were harsh on me when I got home. education.
Since then, I have cut off contact with Ye Lan until now.
I didn't expect to meet him again a few years later, and I could recognize him at a glance.
Except that she has grown taller and her facial features have opened up, Ye Lan has not changed at all.
His delicate face still had a guarded expression, as well as fear of the world.
I think Ye Lan's autism has not healed yet.
Me too, I'm still alone.
07
"Hey, are you deaf? Didn't you hear me asking you to take out the money? I want to be beaten!"
Several boys pushed Ye Lan against the electric pole by the side of the road, and the leading boy grabbed Ye Lan by the collar and roared angrily.
I think these people are stupid. They don't look at the place when they cause trouble. The police station is diagonally across the road.
When I led a policeman to run over, I saw Ye Lan being beaten by those people.
The piercing whistle sounded, and the policeman yelled and rushed forward.The young boys turned around and ran away when they saw the police.
After they left, I dared to help Ye Lan. I was still very afraid of those young people in society.
"I can't control this kind of thing. These little hooligans are very rampant recently. It seems that if they don't catch a few of them, they will only become more and more rampant." The policeman said while looking at Ye Lan, "Boy, I'm not hurt. Right? Little girl, take him to the hospital to have a look. Be careful when you go out in the future, and don’t reveal your wealth.”
The policeman left after speaking. I was still trying to pull Yelan up by the side of the road. He looked seriously injured and couldn't get up while holding his stomach.Seeing me touch him, he habitually avoided my hand, probably not recognizing me.
That's right, it's said that the Eighteenth Change of the Women's University, we only met once before, and we haven't seen each other for four years now, probably he has long forgotten the girl named Zhao Ling'er he met on the subway.
He didn't want to accept my help, and I couldn't help it.Regardless of him pushing me away again, I forcefully pulled him up from the ground.
I patted the dust on his body casually, dragged him with one hand, and carried the cargo box on the ground with the other, preparing to go to the nearby hospital.
But he didn't know good from bad, and opened my fingers one by one with amazing stubbornness.
I got angry, so I simply ignored him and left with the box.But like four years ago, he stretched out a few fingers and pulled my sleeve pitifully, and whispered: "Ear."
"What ears! My name is Zhao Ling'er, don't yell!" I yelled angrily, and hit him with a cargo box, afraid of hurting him, I really couldn't laugh or cry.
Ye Lan pulled me back, pointed at herself and said, "I...I am Ye Lan."
I know you are Ye Lan.
I laughed secretly in my heart, stood firm, and looked at him speechlessly.
"I thought you didn't remember me, and you hit me just now." Ye Lan complained, clutching her arm that was hit by my cargo box, pouted.
I rolled my eyes at him and thought: You are the one who didn't recognize me at first, so why don't you let me help you up.
I looked at Ye Lan carefully, he was kicked a few times, but there was no serious injury.
I asked him why he was covering his stomach, and he actually told me that he hid his wallet in the hem of his clothes for fear of being searched.
I couldn't figure it out, so I asked him: "Isn't your family quite rich? Why don't you want to part with the money and insist on being kicked a few times?"
Ye Lan smiled mysteriously and said, "That's different."
Looking at the smiling Ye Lan in front of me, I found that he was different from four years ago. He seemed not as closed as before, and he was willing to answer my questions.
It turned out that his autism improved over time, but I seemed to be getting more and more lonely.Upon discovering this, I felt inexplicably a little lost.
"Give them money, they will still beat me, so it's better not to pay them." Ye Lan said.
Although his words were brief, his meaning was clear.
It's right to think about it, those local hooligans are immoral people, so they don't care whether you give money or not.
I laughed at myself, maybe I'm not as smart as Ye Lan.
After chatting casually for a few words, I found out that Ye Lan's family has moved to our area, and they live in a relatively expensive villa area in our area.Just hearing the name of their community, I feel a little emotional. The rich are really different. They can easily buy tens of millions of houses, but we have to bear unbearable debts for a house of more than 100 million.
Ye Lan talks more than four years ago, and when he sees that I am not talking, he will take the initiative to find topics.Ye Lan said that he was the one who moved here, just to attend the school here.
I couldn't help asking "Which school do you go to?", unexpectedly Ye Lan transferred to our school.
Our school is not the best school in Shanghai, but Ye Lan's family can definitely go to the best school. I don't know why he chose our school.
Ye Lan said that he likes it.
like?I really can't think of anything Ye Lan likes about our school.
Before I knew it, I took Ye Lan to my neighborhood, and Ye Lan asked in surprise, "Ear, do you live here?"
"Hmm." I replied lightly, as if I lost interest in chatting with him.
Ye Lan was very excited, he said: "Next time I come to play with you, let's take the subway again."
I thought for a while before I understood what Ye Lan was talking about.He seemed to want to sit on the subway and chat with me from day to night as he did when he ran away from home.
That's not a fun thing, I don't know what Ye Lan is still thinking about.I couldn't help but want to laugh at Ye Lan's childishness, but suddenly remembered that he had autism, so I held back my mouth.
Ye Lan is different from ordinary people. It seems that time will not be able to cure Ye Lan's autism after all. He is still the innocent boy I knew back then, afraid of things outside, but curious about them.
08
I'm at the gate of the community, and I should go home.
Ye Lan waved goodbye to me with a smile, and stepped back again and again.
I knew he was going to go home, but I don't know why, just like back then, I felt in my heart that a person like him would always be in danger of being abducted when he went out.
Thinking of how he was blackmailed before, I sighed helplessly and stopped him: "Ye Lan, let me take you home!"
Ye Lan turned her head in surprise, looked at me with raised eyebrows, and asked, "Why?"
I couldn't bear to mention his autism, which is different from ordinary people, so I pretended to be annoyed and said: "I want to see your villa! Why, why don't you let me see it?"
"Let." Ye Lan said.
"However, you have to pay me the bus fare in advance. My money is locked in the cargo box, so it's hard to get it." I clapped the cargo box in my hand and said to Ye Lan jokingly.
Unexpectedly, after hearing what I said, Ye Lan took out her wallet and stuffed it to me without saying a word.
I froze for a moment, I didn't expect Ye Lan to give me money, and gave me so much.
I held Ye Lan's bulging wallet, looked at the gray sky, and smiled slyly: "Ye Lan, let's take a taxi to your house."
Ye Lan nodded without hesitation.
I was defeated by his innocence, it seems that I was right to worry, if I don't send him home, he will probably be cheated away.
I opened the wallet and looked. There was a thick wad of cash and a few brand-new credit cards in it, which showed that his father loved him very much. A middle school student has so much money to spend, and there are even credit cards.But his father never seemed to think about whether Ye Lan would spend the money.
I took out those credit cards and asked Ye Lan if he had used them, and he said bluntly that he hadn't.
Ye Lan doesn't use these cards, so what's the point of his father giving them to him?It would be too perfunctory to show his father's love for Ye Lan just by this, just like my parents did to me.
I think, Ye Lan is the same as me, what we want is not money or other material things, but the company of family members.
Every lonely child longs for someone to care about.
In the car, I curiously asked Ye Lan why he ran out today.
Ye Lan said that he came out to meet a friend, but that person didn't come, and he lost his way when he went back.
I thought to myself, what kind of friend is he who doesn't even know Ye Lan's physical condition?She even dared to ask him out.If you want to meet, can't you just go to your house and find him?
Ye Lan didn't mention who that person was. I scolded that person a few words, and seeing Ye Lan's face getting more and more ugly, I shut up wisely and looked out of the car window in embarrassment.It's other people's business, so what right do I have to judge.
The taxi drove directly into the villa area of Ye Lan's family, and drove all the way to his door.When I arrived at his house, I was a little lucky, at least Ye Lan still remembered the house number of his house.
Hearing the sound of the taxi's engine, someone came out of Ye Lan's house.It looked familiar, but I recalled it carefully, only to realize that it was Ye Lan's aunt.
Seeing Ye Lan, she ran over anxiously and shouted: "Xiao Lan, where have you been? I can't find you no matter what, I'm so anxious."
From the first time we met, I didn't like Ye Lan's father and his aunt, one was because his father sent me to the police station, and the other was because Ye Lan's aunt suspected that I was lying to Ye Lan when she first saw me. Lan's money.Anyway, neither of them are very pleasant people.
I stood aside and felt that Ye Lan's aunt was hypocritical, so I sneered unconsciously.
If she was really worried, why would she stay at home, shouldn't she go out to find Ye Lan?This kind of talk can only be heard as a joke.
Hearing my laughter, Ye Lan's aunt looked at me sullenly and asked Ye Lan who I was.It seems that she has forgotten the little girl who was sent to the police station by them back then.
Ye Lan ignored her, just grabbed my hand, trying to pull me in.
I don't want to see Ye Lan's aunt's hypocrisy, and I don't really want to see his villa, it's just an excuse to send him back.So I shook off Ye Lan's hand and rejected him.
"It's getting dark, if I don't go back, my mother will have to wait." After speaking, I returned Ye Lan's wallet to him.
When his aunt saw it, she immediately became vigilant, snatched the wallet from me quickly, and scolded Ye Lan with a straight face: "I don't even know who she is, how dare you give the wallet to others?"
Here it is again, with the same face as before, it looks disgusting.
I didn't want to stay any longer, so I waved to Ye Lan, opened the door of the taxi that was still waiting, and prepared to leave.
Suddenly, my hand was grabbed by Ye Lan.
I saw him grabbing me with one hand, snatching the wallet from his aunt angrily with the other, stuffing it into my hand angrily, and saying, "I'll give you the ears, don't pay attention to her."
I took my wallet, not knowing how to feel about this windfall.Ye Lan seemed to be crazy, not afraid of my pain, she pushed me into the car with all her might, and urged the driver to leave quickly.Finally, he ran into the house without even looking at his aunt.
I don't know why, seeing Ye Lan's aunt's shocked expression and jumping feet in anger, I feel inexplicably happy.
I held the wallet that Ye Lan had forced for me, and I walked all the way home with a smile on my lips.
However, I will not tamper with his money, I still have to find a chance to return this wallet to Ye Lan.
(End of this chapter)
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