The growth of a sweet wife

Chapter 81

What am I holding on to?
Can anyone give me an exact answer
Why do I choose to drift like this
Rather than accepting the arrangement of God and fate comfortably
Knowing that just doing this will end all the pain
But why are you unwilling to take the first step?

What are you insisting on?
In order to uphold dignity and innocence

Seven years of love and ten years of friendship lost
There are more than 20 years of hometown

What am I holding on to now?
Why did you get yourself into this field

And let the young daughter suffer along with her...

Rejecting others so resolutely and unfeelingly one second, but begging them with a stern face the next second?It's really not my style. I used to act coquettishly to the man I loved without hesitation or scruples. Why can't I do it now? Why can't I give up my persistence and go back to that place? Many people are envious of it. Where is the goal of struggle, to ask their forgiveness, why can't it be done, why don't I have the courage to go to Han's house to find my brother for an interview, what am I insisting on?Why am I making myself homeless, why?
"You're welcome? Don't be nervous... I have a lot of houses, so I don't live here?" Shen Xingchen went to the hospital to pick me up, then went to help me pack my luggage, and brought me and Kexin to this two-bedroom house , the house is a little small, about [-] square meters, but it seems to have just been renovated, it is very beautiful, the decoration is very warm, the sky blue wall is very comfortable and clean, it reminds me of my new house with Yun, and there was not much preparation at that time, for Greeting the little life in the stomach, everything is done hastily, but the comfortable blue in the room made me intoxicated for a long time.

"Mom said that pregnant women should maintain a good mood, so I specially let people decorate it in blue... Do you like it?" After my father left, I was very depressed, so he took good care of me all the time, and my mother Because of the excessive sadness and mental and physical fatigue, he also took care of us with all his heart, taking care of our mother and child and the baby in the belly.

"I like..." At that time, I just responded lightly, because I didn't seriously think about the true meaning of the wedding paper. I don't know if such an answer would hurt his heart?

"When I saw you put the ring he gave you in the jewelry box, do you know? I was very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable...?" He may not be able to express his inner thoughts clearly, and he may have to take my feelings into consideration , always suppressing my emotions...

"Why don't you die...?" God, how could I say such heartless words?What happened to me then...?
"What's the matter? The house is so beautiful, you're fascinated?" Shen Xingchen looked at me intoxicated and gave me a contemptuous look, which made me very upset, but he had no choice but to suppress himself and ignore it. He was really under the eaves Down, have to bow your head?He just smiled slightly, acting gentle and elegant. "Go into the room and have a look...?" He reminded...and led the way in front of me, "Don't be excited? Don't be moved..." His baby face smiled at me, making me feel that he is a naughty brother.

The moment the door was opened, a fresh fragrance wafted over. I couldn't be more familiar with this smell. At Yun's house, in the small garden outside our bedroom, there was this refreshing fragrance, which is the "Golden Pot" Chlorophytum, there are two pots here, placed on a small and exquisite desk.

"My dad's favorite flower is Chlorophytum. He said that Chlorophytum has a characteristic, that is, no matter how badly the flower loses, it will not stop emitting a fragrance, which means that no matter whether a person succeeds or fails, he will never give up his duty... I When I was very young, he taught me that the most important thing for a man is responsibility, no matter what he treats?" When I first moved into the villa, I found that this kind of flower was the most common in the garden, so I asked him.

I still remember that I was lying on the warm carpet, listening to piano music, and he crawled on my stomach to listen to the voice of the child.

"But, you have no responsibility for the child, you don't have to be responsible...?" At that time, he was very sensitive. One thought that he was not good enough for him in all aspects, and the other thought that he had a child of unknown origin in his belly, and asked him to take responsibility for others. My fault, I blame myself.

"I am not responsible for my children, but for love. If I love you, I will love your child, and he will also be my child, because you are one...So, believe me, we will be very happy in the future...?" The layout of the room is even more beautiful. Apart from the furniture, what I like the most is the hanging baby bed in the bedroom. It can be used as a baby's cradle or as a swing. Hurry up and put Kexin in it...

It seems that the little girl has not stayed in such a comfortable room for a long time. She is very active. The feeling of sickness in the hospital the day before has completely disappeared. It feels like she has never been sick. She jumps around on the swing and hesitates I yelled at my mother, which made me feel guilty again.

"Do you like it? I originally prepared this place for my children...?" Shen Xingchen suddenly became sad when I was indulging in self-blame and guilt, and Kexin was obsessed with the comfort of the swing cradle?
"Your child?" I put Kexin in the stroller and let her entertain herself. She already likes to play alone. When I work overtime, she can hold her toys and desserts in the stroller I don't want to miss Shu... I know that he has an unfortunate marriage, but have I never thought that he will have a child?

"Hmph, let's not talk about it...? The same person who has fallen into the world...?" He curled his lips into a smile, and then he said goodbye and left.Before leaving, he said, "This time, you won't think that I have any ill intentions for you!"

"Thank you... Thank you, thank you very much... Kexin and I will remember you forever..." Suddenly I found that I was too easily moved.

Looking at the back of his departure, I saw sadness. In fact, I don't like this feeling very much. It makes people feel sympathetic and pitiful!But what can I do?Can I improve my and Kexin's life in the short term?If I had known that there would be such a day, I would have...

Chen Yun, have you never thought of looking for me and Kexin?Are you really so cruel?Although I don't want you to find me, it doesn't mean I don't want you to come to me, it will only make me feel that I have no place in your heart?This will make me feel that no one cares about me, no one takes me seriously?

Brother, why didn't you answer the phone?Are you angry?I know you love me and Kexin, you are my best brother, you will never abandon me, but I can't rely on you forever and enjoy your care shamelessly, I really can't do it , Because of my relationship, will it affect the relationship between your husband and wife?

After Shen Xingchen left, I looked around the room. This place is somewhat similar to our new house, except that there is no wedding photo on the wall, but the baby's learning pictures instead, yes?Kexin has already started babbling, what should I do?I can't live forever under the fence!

Kexin might be tired, but she fell asleep quietly in the stroller. Looking at her delicate facial features, I kissed her forehead gently.

"Keep, mom made you suffer?"

Don't worry, mom won't let you suffer anymore?I promised in my heart that the house is not big, but it feels empty. What do I want?Why can't I give myself a definite answer?

The mood is very irritable, and it is difficult to calm down. What kind of woman am I?What kind of life do I want to live?Why after so many years, I still can't find the true meaning of my life?Why do I have no pursuit, no ideal, no goal?
Why did I suddenly become so decadent?
love?man?Are these two things the only thing on my mind?
For Song Zizhong?Abandoned his mother.

For cloud?Abandoned his hometown.

Why am I so dirty and dirty?My mind is full of love, yes, I am a woman above love, it has nothing to do with age?
I do not like this?But why?As soon as I opened my mind, I started emotional entanglements. Am I destined to live for men in this life?
The night is very quiet, the sound insulation here is very good, I can no longer hear the voices from the next door, the silence is a little trembling, I sit on the head bed, but my heart lies quietly on the side, the heater is very warm, no longer have to worry about her being dishonest, Kicking off the quilt and hugging her tightly, her breathing is very rhythmic, like a piano piece.

I miss you, I miss you...

Miss your arms, miss your embrace, miss your smell, miss your gentle tone, miss your gentle breathing, miss everything about you, why do I miss you...

don't cry, please don't cry...

Xiaohe, please don't shed any more tears for this man...

No man is worth your tears... Please cherish... Girls' tears are pearls, don't lose such precious wealth for any man...

A man who loves you won't make you cry, a man who doesn't love you is not worth your tears...

So don't cry...

Don't take a man as a support, it's just a wall made of wind, a bridge built by water... only shape, no strength...

stay strong……

And I don't know?At this time, there was a man outside the door, leaning against the door, raising his head, smoking non-stop, his sad and deep appearance looked extremely cool under the weak light...

Can you...

Can I start over...

(End of this chapter)