The FBI teaches you lie detection, people reading and intelligence skills

Chapter 33 Psychological lie detection: detection and measurement of people's psychological traces (2)
Telling the truth doesn't need an excuse, but lying does.A person who chooses to lie wants to reap the benefits of lying without risking blame or punishment.There are various excuses that liars look for, which can be roughly divided into the following three types:
The first type of excuse is usually to justify that although you told a lie, you should not be responsible for the consequences caused by it.A liar will claim that it never occurred to him to mislead someone or something, and that the other party misunderstood it.Or argue that your wording is not clear or clear enough, so that the other party has not understood their original meaning;

The second category of excuses provides moral justification for lies.In this type of excuse, the liar admits that he has lied and is responsible, but puts forward various moral reasons to show that the lie is reasonable under certain circumstances and should be allowed. So he shouldn't be blamed for it.The most common form of such excuses is the holding up of the shield of "altruism".That is, to claim that lying is out of expediency and intended to avoid causing harm to the other party.This claim is generally considered by liars to be more intelligible or more convincing than other excuses because it shows that the lying is done with good intentions.Even the most selfish liars often focus their excuses on the harm the lie can prevent, while avoiding the harm the lie can cause, or evading it as "unexpected" and "considered." Not a week".

The third type of excuse is usually to claim that the lie you told was not a real lie, but just a joke, an exaggeration or an imagination, or claiming that you didn't know what you said was untrue at the time, or even playing with philosophical theory. The sophistry of "a white horse is not a horse" makes it difficult for people to draw an objective boundary between truth and falsehood.

However, excuses are still excuses, and no matter how plausible or convincing they think their excuses are, and no matter how eloquent they are, most of them will still be suspect.On the one hand, it is because these excuses are made by the liar, not by the deceived; on the other hand, because others have experience as liars, they know how selfish lying is, and the subsequent How far-fetched the excuse is.

In fact, liars also know in their hearts that finding excuses is a helpless move to escape moral condemnation and avoid "credibility crisis".Lying cannot be justified as long as the goal can be achieved by honest means.Therefore, when a liar puts forward all kinds of high-sounding excuses, he is also in a state of anxiety, wondering if the deceived can believe and forgive him because of this?Don't they think that this excuse is also a lie, or an integral part of continuing to deceive them?

4. Fear of being exposed for lies
There are three reasons why liars are afraid of their lies being exposed: First, when they lie, they worry about their lies being exposed almost all the time. Seriously, it often even affects people's physiology.Of course, people are very different. Some liars have stronger fears; some liars have weaker fears.So, what factors will affect the strength of the liar's fear?The first factor is whether the liar thinks the other person is an experienced liar detector.

If the liar thinks or knows that the other party is a person with weak will, limited experience, and lack of opinion, he will have less fear of being exposed and his fear will be reduced.Conversely, if the liar thinks or knows that the other person is a strong-willed, experienced, and assertive person, he will feel very afraid.

For example, parents often scare children who lie, because in the minds of children, parents are experienced lie detectors, just as some parents say, "I can tell if you are lying by looking at your eyes." lie".Therefore, children who have made mistakes and lied to their parents are especially worried that their lies will be exposed, so that they often show flaws and have to confess themselves in the end.

Second, it is related to the interests considered by the liar at the time.The most important issue that liars think about when lying is the issue of interest or gain and loss.Therefore, the more closely the success of lying is related to the things he values, the heavier the psychological burden on the liar, and the more worried he is about being exposed.

For example, some students may seem indifferent to cheating in ordinary tests, but they are very nervous if they cheat in formal exams, because once they are caught, not only will they have to demerit, but it will also affect whether they can graduate.Similarly, in daily life, people will not feel any psychological burden of fabricating lies in order to prevaricate some irrelevant communication and entertainment, because they feel that there is no harm to others or themselves.But it can be very taxing to ask people to lie about something that matters or will cause immediate harm to others.

Third, the personality of the liar.Some people are inherently good liars. They have been lying to deceive people from childhood. These people can use lies to deceive parents, teachers and friends almost anytime, anywhere and at will.These people seem to have no fear of being exposed, and they are convinced that they will be able to deceive others.

This kind of "lying genius" naturally does not have multiple psychological burdens.On the contrary, some people are very bad at lying from a personality point of view, especially not good at hiding their feelings. Once they lie, they are particularly worried about what to do if they fail to tell a lie and are exposed by others.These people always seem to think that everyone who looks at them will know if they are lying, so that they are telling the truth

I always worry that others won't believe me.

To sum up, once we find that someone suddenly falls into psychological states such as fear, anxiety, guilt and sophistry uncharacteristically, we should suspect that there is a lie.

§§§The fourth section judges people with oneself, uses analogy thinking to infer lies
"Using oneself to judge others" is an old Chinese saying, which refers to doing to others what one does not want to do.But from a psychological point of view, "using oneself to judge others" is actually a kind of analogical reasoning thinking, and it is the most common and basic method to speculate on the psychology of others.If you can use this method correctly and understand the psychology of the liar, then many lies can be seen through.

The analogical way of thinking of "judging others by oneself" has been around since childhood.Two- and three-year-old children know that their hands and feet will hurt and bleed when they are bruised, and accordingly they think that bruised trees will also hurt and bleed; children have grandpas and grandmas, so they think that the little Sheep, calves, and even the sun, moon, and stars also have grandpas and grandmas.It is precisely because children at this time have the thinking of self-centered, from here to there, and "save people" and "save things" with themselves, so when adults tell them fairy tales such as animals can talk and animals have brothers and sisters, They didn't think it was fiction at all.With the growth of age and rich life experience, children gradually realize that tree injuries will not hurt, animals cannot speak, and there is no animal country in the world.Similarly, the sun, the stars, and the moon have no grandparents and brothers and sisters, gradually distinguishing themselves from the surrounding things.But the thinking of "judging people with oneself" has always existed, but it has gradually got rid of the "childishness" at the beginning and moved towards reality and maturity.

Using one's own feelings, inferring others' feelings psychologically, and psychological thinking have been fully developed in adults and manifested very clearly.For example, writers often use their own feelings and psychological experiences in life to infer the feelings and experiences of characters in similar situations in their works.In life, when others say bad things about themselves, they will be unhappy, even angry and resentful.So when I talk about other people's bad deeds, I think that others hate me too.In fact, it may not be the case. Others may quickly forget it and forget it completely.I like to eat chicken, so I thought that people like to eat chicken. When I met someone who didn't like chicken, I felt a little strange, thinking to myself, "It's incredible that there are people who don't like chicken."I am selfish and love money like my life, so I think that everyone else is the same. When I hear that someone is "disinterested", I feel that it is not credible.

The correct rate of inferring other people's mental activities by analogy thinking is not very high.It is correct to infer other people’s mental activities by analogy thinking because there are always similarities between people, and the psychology and thoughts produced by people in the same or similar situations always have the same or similarities, so " There are often times when the "degree" is right.For example, the death of a loved one can cause a painful experience. When someone's relatives die, people presume that he must be in pain, and this presumption is generally correct.In the same way, people are in good spirits on happy occasions, and people presume that someone must be in a good mood when a happy event occurs, and this is often correct.

When using analogy to speculate on the mental activities of others, it is because "people's hearts are like faces, they are different", each person has his own temperament, personality, interest, and ideas, even if the psychology and thoughts produced in the same situation are different. It will be different, or even completely opposite. At this time, "judging others by oneself" may be wrong.

For example, "Liezi" records the allusions of "Xianyu" and "Xianqin":

In the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a farmer in the State of Song who often wore old linen jackets to survive the severe winter.At the beginning of spring, when he was farming in the fields, he accidentally discovered that basking in the sun is the most comfortable and happiest thing in the world. As if he had found a treasure, he turned to his wife and said, "No one knows about the warm enjoyment of basking in the sun. Dedicate it to our monarch, and he will definitely get a lot of rewards."A rich man in the same village found out about this, and came to him with a smile and said to him: "Once upon a time, there was such a man who thought that the taste of celery was sweeter. I tasted it a little, I just felt uncomfortable as if my tongue was stung by a poisonous insect, and then my stomach also felt pain.

So everyone laughed at the farmer's ignorance. The reason why those who "provide exposure" and "provide celery" make wrong guesses about other people's psychology is that they only pay attention to their own interests and ideas, but do not pay attention to others' interests and ideas, and infer only based on their own feelings. other people.

The methods mentioned in this chapter must be used repeatedly and seriously experienced in practice before they can be truly mastered and be able to do a job with ease.In addition, the methods of detecting lies should be interrelated. It is impossible to say that only one or several methods can achieve the goal. Instead, various methods should be combined to reveal the true face of the liar from different angles and levels. exposed.

(End of this chapter)