The 21 Laws of Leadership: How to Develop the Qualities of a Leader

Chapter 13 Listening: Connecting the Ears to the Hearts of Others
Listening
The ears of the leader must resonate with the voices of the people.

—Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States
A good leader encourages his followers by telling him what he needs to know, not what he likes to hear.

—John C. Maxwell

She talks a lot, but listens more

If you were to make a list of the most influential people in America, who would it be?Presidents are definitely on the list, and Alan Greenspan probably should be.Also on the list is Michael Jordan, the most familiar face in the entire world.You might also recommend Bill Gates.Think hard about who else could make the list.Now, I'm adding a name to your list that you probably haven't thought of yet: Oprah Winfrey.

In 1985, before Oprah was famous, she starred in the Steven Spielberg film The Color Purple, in addition to hosting a regional talk show in Chicago program, about a year long.What she has achieved can be attributed to her ability to speak. "Communicating with people is how I create my self-worth." She was praised for her excellent communication skills at a young age: "I remember when I was two years old, I was speaking in church and someone said: 'The child Really speaks, speaks really well'."

But Oprah does listen more than she talks.In fact, her ability to listen is her most outstanding quality.She was a studious person, and her ability to listen began with the wisdom she absorbed from the pens of many writers.She read many novels and biographies to understand the feelings and thoughts of others, and in the process, she also learned more about herself.

This good habit of listening to others has benefited her a lot in every aspect of her career.

This quality of listening is also evident in her television appearances.She's constantly watching and listening to find material to put on the show.When she invites celebrities, writers or experts on the show, she always listens sincerely to each other.The famous singer Madonna once commented on Oprah: "She has been a public figure for a long time, but her relationship with the public has always been very good. I really don't know how she did it." In fact, Oprah can do it This is because it is good at listening.

Oprah's listening ability has brought her extraordinary achievements and amazing influence.She is one of the highest paid people in the entertainment industry in the world, worth up to half a billion dollars.In the United States alone, 3300 million people tuned in to her show every week.

Despite the success of her show, she recently considered killing it and remaking it.How does she make decisions about change?She asked the staff for their opinion.

"The changes we make don't have to be big impacts," she told the staff. "It's as much fun making changes on this show as we are making changes in our lives. Let's make a breakthrough." What can we do to make the show more interesting?"

She initially had a lot of questions about an idea an employee came up with.But she still chose to listen, to try the idea.Here's an idea for starting a book club.As you probably know, the idea came to fruition, and thousands of viewers, many of whom were reading books for the first time after leaving school, learned and grew up through reading.Oprah is very happy about this, and her purpose in life is to make other people's lives worthwhile.And her success comes from her choosing to listen.

develop your ability to listen

In "21 Laws of Leadership", I once pointed out: "Leaders know that before they can win people, they must first win their hearts." This is the "law of affinity".But before leaders can win people's hearts, they need to know their minds.And it's up to them to listen.

Incompetent leaders are often unwilling to listen.Management guru Peter Drucker believes that 60% of all problems in management come from poor communication.And I think the main reason for poor communication is the unwillingness to listen.

There are always many voices in your ears, hoping to get your attention.As you think about how you spend your time listening, remember that you choose to listen for two purposes: to connect with people and to learn from them.Therefore, your ears should be turned to the following people.

1. Your followers

Excellent leaders who make people willing to follow, when dealing with followers, not only pay attention to the effectiveness of the matter itself, but also spend time observing the quality of each person.Philip Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield said: "Many people would rather you listen to them than if you grant their request." people, then you should change your focus and learn to really listen.

2. Your customers
There is an Indian proverb that goes: "Listen to the whispers in your ear and you won't have to suffer the curses later." I'm often amazed by leaders who are so absorbed in their own ideas that they never listen to the concerns, complaints or suggestions of their customers .Bill Gates mentioned in his book "Business @ the Speed ​​of Thought": "Customer dissatisfaction is always a headache, but it can also bring you endless business opportunities." Excellent A leader always puts the customer first and keeps in touch with the customer.

3. Your competitors
Sam Markewich once said, “If you don’t agree with me, you’re not listening.” While he was joking, it’s sad that when a leader sees other organizations as When he was a competitor, he would concentrate on doing his own thing well and consolidating his career, but he forgot to learn from others.

The famous host Larry King said: "I remind myself every morning that nothing I have said to myself today will teach me anything. So if I want to learn, I have to listen. "As a leader, other people's actions don't determine your actions, but you still have to listen and learn to absorb the things that can improve yourself.

4. Your Mentor
No leader is so sophisticated that he doesn't need to learn from a mentor.I have learned many valuable lessons from those who have more experience than me, including my father Melvin Maxwell, Elmer Towns, Jack Heyford (Jack Hayford), Fred Smith, J. Oswald Sanders.If you don't have a mentor yet, find one now!If you can't find someone who can guide you in person, start by reading books.My learning process also starts from reading books, but the important thing is to start your learning path as soon as possible.

Self-Reflection: What Blocks You From Listening
Are you a good listener?When I first stepped into a leadership position myself, I was not a good listener.I was busy doing my own thing at the time, hoping to get things done.But when I slow down and pay attention to the people and things around me, I find that my actions are sharper and I achieve more.

When was the last time you really paid attention to what other people did or said?It is not enough to just focus on the matter itself, please start trying to listen to the feelings, meanings and thoughts of others.

"Prescription" for poor listeners

To improve your listening skills, do the following.

1. Change your work schedule
Do you arrange time to listen to the opinions and suggestions from your followers, customers, competitors and previous mentors?If you don't include all four of the above in your schedule, you probably haven't given them enough attention.Pick up a pen and start planning, and listen to their opinions and suggestions on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis.

2. Communicate with the other party in their domain

If you want to be good at listening to others, you must find common topics.Next time you meet with a report or client, make it a rule to ask the person four or five questions about them personally.Getting to know each other and finding common ground can help you connect with them.

3. Listen to the overtones
When you communicate with people, you must pay attention to the factual content of the conversation, but don't lose sight of the emotional content.Sometimes if you can read between the lines, you can better understand the truth of the matter.In the days and weeks ahead, listen carefully.

start listening today
President Theodore Roosevelt was a man who had the courage to take action, but he was also a man who knew how to listen. He attached great importance to whether others had the quality of being good at listening.Once at a dinner party, he was fed up with the blunt compliments being paid to him.So he started smiling and telling people, "I killed my grandma this morning." Most people were so nervous about meeting the president that they didn't hear what he was saying.But one diplomat overheard, leaned in to the president, and whispered to him, "I knew you'd do something to her sooner or later."

The only way to not miss any information is to learn to listen.

(End of this chapter)