I forget you in the depths of time

Chapter 102 You Can't Go Back, Neither Can I

Shen Yichen laughed lowly as if he had heard some funny joke, stretched out his hand, and stroked his smooth cheek with his long fingers, "When do I need someone to forgive me?"

"Qingyue, do you think that if I admit my mistake, it means that I am subdued?" Her heavy eyes were like black ink, "I don't need your forgiveness at all, all I want is you."

"It doesn't matter if you don't want to give me your heart and feelings, but..." The eyes darkened, reflecting a deep chill, and the low magnetic voice gradually penetrated into her ears, "If you don't give it to me, you won't give it to me." Don't even think about giving it to others, I'd rather destroy you than wait for you to betray me."

"Are you crazy?!"

"You were the one who went crazy first!" He seemed to be suppressing his anger, "If you, a lunatic, hadn't insisted on pestering me for so many years, how could I be like this now!"

"Why do you say that you don't love if you don't love? Can you blame me now?" Jun Lang's face was so gloomy, "I'm not so arrogant. In my lifetime, don't think that I will let you go. I would rather pull you to destroy together !"

She turned her head to one side, looked out of the car window, and ignored him if she didn't reply to him.

When the car restarted and the glass curtain reflected the miniature of the scenery outside the window, she said in a low tone, "I have tried to make myself accept you."

"I ruined the chance you gave..."

Song Qingyue shook her head, her eyes were clear and clean, "It's not you, it's just that I can't do it, you probably don't know that some scars will sting from time to time even if they scab over, you're right, I hate you, In the past few years, I... have been living in self-remorse and resentment towards you."

"People who can't even forgive themselves have the right to forgive others."

She relaxed her body and leaned her head on the seat of the car.

Do you hate Shen Yichen?
not necessarily.

Song Qingyue thinks that she hates herself more, if she learns to be good early and doesn't dream about a relationship that has never been fruitful and has no future, she won't cause so many troubles out of thin air.

Perhaps most people would think that losing a child is nothing, but to her, that child is her only flesh and blood relative, her blood, and her only spiritual sustenance.

With a child around, she can still deceive herself and others, even if Shen Yichen ignores her, she can bear it.

But the child was gone, she was going crazy, and her only support was taken away, and her whole body collapsed.

When the depression was at its worst, she even thought about committing suicide. Song Qingyue didn't know how she managed to get over the hellish days.

But she knew very well that she was sick, and very sick.

In the dark night, the sinful Bianhua flower grew, blood red and dazzling, eroding her heart bit by bit, she wanted to take revenge, but felt confused, who should she take revenge with...

She is neither proud nor strong, just a normal woman; she is neither kind nor generous, if you step on her pain, she will fight back.

The car stopped firmly in front of the gate of Shen's house. Before getting out of the car, Song Qingyue said, "Shen Yichen, let me tell you the truth, it is impossible for Ning Xiaoyuan and I to coexist. Either you suppress me so much that I can't stand up now, or...you just Waiting to collect Ning Xiaoyuan's body."

She got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

Shen Yichen froze for a moment, sat in the car and watched the slender figure leave.

The wind blew the leaves, and the leaves swayed, and the bright sunlight fell on her little by little through the dense branches.

The tree shadows sway with the wind, like a painting scroll drawn with fine brushwork, lifelike and moving.

The coldness between the brows gradually dissipated, and the stretched brows and eyes were clear and gentle.

She was as stubborn as a stubborn bull, and then, the corners of Shen Yichen's lips raised slightly to outline a shallow arc, which made people feel more comfortable than the rustling breeze.

After sitting alone for a long time, when I entered the room, I heard laughter and laughter in the room.

Shen Yichen saw Song Qingyue who was by Shen Qingzong's side, obedient and obedient, her eyes were very clean, shaped like cat's eyes, when she looked at you with joy, the dark pupils would reveal beautiful streamers, scorching.

The black suit jacket was neatly draped over the arms, covering the strong and muscular arms, and there was a cuff button that shone with restrained light embedded in the exposed shirt cuffs.

Staring at her slightly upturned mouth, her phoenix eyes gradually became deep and thick, and she walked towards her with long legs, "Why are you smiling so happily?"

As soon as he finished speaking, he naturally sat down next to Song Qingyue.

He noticed the slight stiffness of the people beside him, and Shen Yichen's eyes darkened.

"Are you still willing to come back?" Shen Qingzong said angrily, "Usually, you refuse to come back when you ask left and right. What kind of wind is blowing today to bring you back?"

"Grandpa, I was wrong before." He said, holding Song Qingyue's hand, "From now on, Qingyue and I will move back to live with you."

Song Qingyue's complexion changed slightly, she struggled slightly, and the hand that was holding her was firmly grasping, she glanced at Shen Yichen who was sitting beside her like a dog, as if she had noticed her gaze, Shen Yichen Turning his head to look at her, he didn't take the anger in her eyes seriously, but asked her with some doubts, "What's wrong?"

She is so good at acting that she wants to scold others!

"Grandpa, let me take Qingyue upstairs to look at the room first."

Shen Qingzong saw the weird atmosphere between the two of them, and he just nodded, "Go, your wedding room is cleaned every day, so it's easy to live in now."

"Ah."

Shen Yichen forcibly pulled Song Qingyue upstairs, and when he reached the stairs, Shen Yichen let go of his hand.

"What are you doing? When did I say I'm coming back to live??"

"Oh? I thought that from the moment you agreed to the physical marriage, you had already made up your mind. I didn't expect that you still don't know your position."

"..." Song Qingyue frowned, "But didn't we have something to say first? You said you wouldn't bother me in private!"

"Heh..." Shen Yichen sneered, and leaned against the escalator in a lazy attitude, "I was the one who begged you at the beginning, but now you are the one who begged me. The position is different. Of course, what I said before can't be counted."

"If you want me to help you deal with the Ning family, the initiative will naturally fall back to me."

"Shameless!"

"Thank you."

"..." Song Qingyue choked, gave him a hard look, turned her head angrily, and walked upstairs with heavy steps, as if she was venting her dissatisfaction. Shen Yichen who was still at the stairs Uncompromising, there was a faint smile on the corner of his lips, like a dark curtain that had dissipated the haze, bright and warm.

Pushing open the door, I saw that the furnishings in the house had hardly changed their positions.

Song Qingyue stood at the door in a daze, and suddenly her eyes hurt.

She personally selected everything here, and thought she could have a new start with Shen Yichen, but he didn't even step in here on the first day of their wedding.

later…

There is no later.

"What are you doing standing here?" Shen Yichen is basically unfamiliar with this place. He hasn't been back to Shen's house for several years, so naturally he doesn't remember that his grandfather helped them set up a wedding room here.

Song Qingyue entered the room silently, went straight to the head of the bed and tore off the big red happy letter.

She also tore off the other happy characters pasted in the house one by one, and when she pulled the happy characters on the blue and white porcelain vase, she froze her hands.

Her heart was congested and she couldn't breathe. After a while, she said, "I'll go tell Grandpa to change rooms."

When she was about to leave in a hurry, she was suddenly grabbed by the arm, "Why do you want to change rooms, isn't this place very good?"

"If I want to live with you, I won't live with you."

"Song Qingyue, in front of Grandpa, at least you have to act as a good pretend couple, to reassure him? Don't forget, the deal between you and me."

She flung Shen Yichen's hand away, her eyes flushed, "Why should I pretend to live in peace with you in front of grandpa? Hasn't it always been like this from the past to now? What's there to pretend! Do you think grandpa can't see it?" !"

"I don't want to maintain this stupid deal with you!" She suddenly lost control, "What do you know? In this room...everything in this room was made up bit by bit by myself, I..."

Her voice trembled, "I thought I would have a good start with you, even if there is no wedding, even if there is nothing, I will...I..."

She choked up and said after a long time, "I have loved you seriously. I admit that I still can't let you go, but I can't let go of everything I have experienced. You will never understand that I have never let you go from the full period of my pregnancy. Looking forward to despair, what kind of pain have I experienced.”

Song Qingyue covered her eyes with her hands, and turned her head sideways, "When I see you, I will think of the stupid things I have done, Shen Yichen, I... don't know how to face you... I can't treat you like I did at the beginning. Nothing, you can't go back, and I can't go back."

The hand hanging by his side clenched his fist, and Shen Yichen reluctantly pulled the corner of his mouth, "What do you want me to do? No matter what I do, you can't let it go, Song Qingyue, I don't know how I should treat you."

She suddenly squatted down and curled up into a ball, murmuring to herself as if in a daze, "I shouldn't have come to Shen's house and forced my way into this world that doesn't belong to me."

"I know you hate me. You hated me from the first time you saw me. I'm wandering outside your world. Even if I try hard to learn, I can't keep up with you. I know that grandpa sent me to the Noble Academy with good intentions." Go to school, but I don't fit in there."

"School is like a prison. I'm afraid to go to school. When I meet you several times, I hope that you can help me out because you live under the same roof, but no... none of you..."

"No matter how hard I try, I can't catch up with you, Shen Yichen... I never thought of making you like me, I just want you not to hate me..."

Throat congested, gasping for breath, gasping for breath was painful.

He licked his dry lips, watched Song Qingyue shrunk into a ball, and vaguely remembered that she had just arrived at Shen's house, and occasionally on the way back from school, he had met Song Qingyue surrounded by people.

At that time, she was thin and small, and her growth was also very slow due to malnutrition. She also huddled up in a corner. When she was beaten, she carefully looked in the direction of him and Tang Shaohan.

They... No one opened their mouths, as if they didn't see it, no one would meddle in other people's business for someone they didn't like at all.

Suddenly withdrawing from the memory, the past and the present overlapped, he squatted down, hesitantly put his hand on her back, wanted to open his mouth, but couldn't even utter a word.

What happened, no one can erase the mark, and he has no way to reverse the past, let alone how to face her...

Silently, he hugged the little ball into his arms, his eyes dimmed, "You don't know how to face me, and I don't know how to face you..."

(End of this chapter)