Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 71
Also when doing things the way we do, we need to recognize the distance between the development of things and our expectations through comparison.

Comparison can discover advantages and disadvantages.Comparison can make people sober and confident.Only with frequent comparison can there be continuous progress.

We can do this by:
Clarify the purpose of the comparison, whether to gain experience, or to control something, and so on.

Establish the object of comparison, for example, I want to make a small model, which can compare the progress, cost, aesthetics and so on.

Establish comparison criteria, such as what is qualified requirements.

Implement measures, which may be improvements, adjustments, or controls.

Pygmalion effect.

Pygmalion is the king of Cyprus in Greek mythology, and he is also an outstanding sculptor.He carefully sculpted a beautiful statue of a young girl, and Pygmalion fell in love with her sincerely.As a result, a miracle happened, the statue was moved by Pygmalion's sincerity, and the girl "resurrected".

Enthusiasm and indifference are contagious, especially with young people, and managing expectations can have a magical effect.The first manager a young person meets is likely to be the most influential person in his career.If the supervisor is unable or unwilling to teach the young person the skills necessary to perform effectively on the job, the young person will set personal standards that are lower than they can actually achieve, and their self-image will be lowered as a result. .

What managers do is to give these "girls" positive expectations, enthusiasm and due standards.

When they do things, they express their expectations to influence others. This positive influence will, like Pygmalion, revive the mind.Not only can one's own wishes be realized, but also the people around can be inspired by it and achieve a synergistic effect.

At the same time, this influence must not be artificial or hypocritical.Not only because the effect of artificiality is that individualism cannot impress others, but also because you have wiped out other people's expectations of you.Standards are broken, and this positive impact is no longer there.

Doing things is a game between people and the system.

The institutional issue of power restriction has always been a headache for human beings.Please see the short story below.

There are seven people who form a small group to live together, and each of them is ordinary and equal, without any sinister intentions, but selfishness is unavoidable.They want to use a non-violent way to solve the problem of eating every day by formulating a system. They have to share a pot of porridge, but they don't have weighing utensils and containers with scales.

Everyone experimented with different methods, exerted their ingenuity, and played games many times to form an increasingly perfect system.Generally speaking, there are mainly the following types:

Method [-]: Designate a person to be responsible for distributing the porridge.Soon everyone found that this person had the most porridge for himself, so another person was changed, and the person who presided over the porridge always had the most and the best porridge in his bowl.Lord Acton concluded that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Method [-]: Everyone takes turns presiding over the porridge, one day per person.This is tantamount to acknowledging that individuals have the right to share more porridge for themselves, and at the same time giving everyone the opportunity to share more for themselves.Although it seems to be equal, each person has enough to eat and has surplus only one day a week, and is hungry for the other six days.This approach results in a waste of resources.

Method [-]: Everyone elects a trustworthy person to host the porridge.At first, a person with good moral character could still be fair, but soon he began to pay more points for himself and those who swear by.We can't let it be depraved and corrupted, and we have to find new ideas.

Method [-]: Elect a sub-committee and a supervisory committee to form supervision and restriction.Fairness is basically achieved, but because the supervision committee often proposes various proposals, and the porridge division committee argues hard, the porridge will be cold by the time the porridge is divided.

Method [-]: Everyone takes turns to share the porridge, but the person who distributes the porridge should be the last one to receive the porridge.Surprisingly, under this system, the porridge in the seven bowls is the same every time, as if measured with a scientific instrument.Everyone who presides over the distribution of porridge realizes that if the porridge in the seven bowls is different, he will undoubtedly have the least share.

Modern economics expresses it like this: the system is crucial, and the system is chosen by people and is the result of transactions.A good system is natural, clear and subtle, simple and efficient, which is amazing.Doing things is actually a game between people and the system.

Reciprocity makes things go more smoothly.

At work, the establishment of work procedures is not only to provide ways of doing things, but also to check and balance power.Some people go their own way and do whatever they want. They think why there are so many steps in something that can be done in one step, so they decide to act alone, which disrupts the rules and order.When it comes to the issue of benefit distribution, there are often various restraints.In fact, we should use our brains and take reciprocal measures to achieve a win-win situation is the best way.Taking invoices as an example, many operators are reluctant to issue them, and even those who do not issue invoices can get a discount, but those who issue invoices cannot, because the operators want to pay less tax based on the invoice.But the supervisory unit disagreed, so they also put a lottery on the invoices, hoping to increase consumers' enthusiasm for invoices.

Win-win is a rising method of doing things in the 21st century.In fact, we can look at it from the perspective of "take a step back, the sea and the sky will be brighter", we give convenience to others and leave room for others, rather than a kind of inflexible, mandatory negotiation, that is, to give convenience to ourselves, so that both parties can get Good things can develop in a relatively stable and balanced manner.

Therefore, there is no need to be too rigid when doing things, and a reciprocal mechanism is established, so that everyone can coordinate and discuss, and things will go smoothly.

Don't ignore the unspoken rules.

Each industry has its own unspoken rules, and doing many things will touch taboos.Here are a few taboos in the office that affect relationships with colleagues:
(1) Do not report good things.

You know beforehand when you distribute items and receive bonuses in the unit, or you have already received them, and sit there silently, as if nothing happened, and never inform everyone. Some things can be claimed on your behalf, and you never Help someone get it.After several times like this, others will naturally have ideas, thinking that you are too out of gregarious, lacking a sense of commonality and spirit of cooperation.In the future, if they know about it in advance, or get something first, they may not tell you.If this continues, the relationship between them will not be harmonious.

(2) Entering and exiting without informing each other.

If you have something to go out for a while, or ask for leave without going to work, although it is the leader who approves the leave, you'd better talk to your colleagues in the office.Even if you go out temporarily for half an hour, you should say hello to your colleagues.In this way, if leaders or acquaintances come to find them, colleagues can also have an explanation.If you don’t want to say anything, come in and out mysteriously, sometimes when there is something important, people can’t talk about it, and sometimes you don’t bother to say it. I’m afraid it’s yourself who is affected.Informing each other is not only a need for working together, but also a need for connecting feelings. It shows the mutual respect and trust of both parties.

(3) Do not talk about private matters that can be said.

Some private matters cannot be said, but there is no harm in talking about some private matters.For example, your boyfriend or girlfriend's work unit, education, age, personality, etc. If you are married and have children, you will have topics about your lover and children. You can chat by the way after work , it can enhance understanding and deepen feelings.

(4) Refuse to ask colleagues for help.

It is right not to ask for help easily, because asking for help will always bring trouble to others.But everything is dialectical. Sometimes asking for help can show your trust in others, build a harmonious relationship and deepen your relationship.If you don’t want to beg others, they will feel embarrassed to beg you; if you are afraid of trouble for others, they will think that you are also afraid of trouble.A good interpersonal relationship is based on helping each other.

(5) Often "biting ears" with one person

There are several people in the same office, and you should try to maintain a balance with everyone, and don't be particularly close or distant to any one of them.In normal times, don't always whisper to the same person, and don't always go in and out with the same person.Otherwise, the two of you may be closer, but more likely to be estranged.Some people thought you were engaging in small groups.If you are constantly whispering to the same person, and then you stop talking when others come in, then others will inevitably think that you are speaking ill of them.

(6) Keen to inquire about secrets.

People who can say it will say it themselves, and those who can't say it don't dig it. Everyone has their own secrets.Sometimes, people accidentally leak the secrets in their hearts, so don't inquire about it, and don't try to find out.

(7) Like to take advantage of the mouth.

When getting along with colleagues, some people always want to take advantage of their mouths.Some people like to tell other people's jokes and try to take advantage of others. Even though it is a joke, they will never end up with their own disadvantages; , or small things in daily life, as soon as they see a flaw in the other party, they will hold on to it, insisting on letting the other party lose; He often takes the initiative to attack. If people don't talk about him, he always talks about others first.These can damage the co-worker relationship.

(End of this chapter)