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Chapter 87 Wang Meng's 21 Interpersonal Principles

[China] Wang Meng

It is better to be confused and negligent when dealing with relationships than to be shrewd and have too careful calculations.

When it comes to relationships, I have a few basic rules:
1. Don't trust those who report whoever is scolding you.

2. Don't trust those who praise and sing endlessly as soon as they meet you.

3. Don't dislike those who have openly argued with you and criticized you.

4. Absolutely do not arrange for some people to collect what other people say about you behind their backs.

5. Absolutely not in public places, especially not within the sphere of influence of one's own power, that is, using one's own power or influence to call some people to talk about what others have said about you. Doing so is tantamount to demolishing yourself.

6. Do not answer any personal attacks on yourself, only discuss issues that are meaningful not only to you and your opponents, but also to more people, to society and the country, to the construction of a certain theory and the creation of art .

7. Generally do not make self-defense, but can clarify some opinions, some choices, some right and wrong.

8. It doesn't matter if you are confused or blamed for a while.You are still you, he is still him.A person who can't afford to take the blame can only be a weak person.

9. Don't reject people casually, and don't promise people casually.Don't make a wish, don't hold people's appetites, and don't show off your strength in unnecessary things.

10. Don't be in a hurry to express yourself, and don't be in a hurry to correct others. Listen again, look again, and ponder again.

11. Don't talk about Zhang Chang Li short behind his back.

12. Remember, interpersonal relationships are always two-way. Those who learn from others will always learn from others, those who help others will always help them, those who respect others will always respect them, and those who love others will always love them.At the same time, those who talk about others will always talk about it, those who harm others will always correct them, those who harm others will always harm them, those who trick others will always play with them, and those who deal with others with hypocrisy will always deal with them with hypocrisy.

13. Absolutely do not accept incitement, do not accept instigation, never become an enemy of B because of A's instigation, and never rush towards A because of B's ​​instigation.

14. Never think about getting anything out of a relationship.

15. Never think that anyone you come into contact with is stupider than you, stupider than you, and easier to get tricked than you.

16. When you are surprised by someone or something, think about the benefits first, maybe he did it to help you, at least objectively, it will not harm you, and don't immediately imagine others with hostility.

17. Never entangle with anyone, including the most unfriendly person to you.You engage in your interpersonal disputes, and I am busy with my business work.The result of your disputes may not be so and so, and the result of my business work is likely to have some achievements.All my achievements are the best answer to you and the greatest comfort to my friends.

18. Look for points of integration and convergence, rather than just staring at contradictions and differences.Always be calm and calm, treat differences as normal, and treat people with different opinions as real friends or alternate friends, instead of being like a cheapskate who feels like sitting on pins and needles when you see people with different opinions, and your face turns red and white.

19. Never talk and think about issues from the perspective of personal interests, never argue with others "I, I, I", and would rather rationalize all disputes than personalize shit.

20. Treat the handling of interpersonal relationships as a special course, from which we can analyze and further grasp our national conditions, our history, our social structure, our philosophical traditions and fashion trends, our logic, scientific civilization, education, and psychological well-being. Wait, this is the meaning of the academic rationalization mentioned in the previous article.

21. You can use your full energy to study, work, write, decorate houses, even travel, play football, and play, but use it in interpersonal relationships, respond to friction, and deal with attacks. Only use three-point force at most, and exert force for 30 seconds at most, and then immediately return to the state of studying and doing things wholeheartedly. Spending a little more time and energy is an absolute waste of energy, time, and life.

I haven't fully implemented the above 21 items, but I do understand that anyone who does this will have excellent results; anyone who does not do this is stupid, confused, wasted effort, and even shameful .That's not cool at all.Similar principles can also give birth to many, many, these 21 are just throwing bricks to attract jade, thought to encourage each other.

Having said so much, in fact, it is best to fundamentally forget the theory of interpersonal relationship and forget about relationship studies.Seeking relationships based on relationships can only lead to the end of the road, which is ridiculous, petty, and unbearably vulgar.As long as a person concentrates on studying, works hard, is true and honest, is kind to others, treats others equally, and is healthy and positive, the relationship between people and people will naturally be good. Temporary problems and misunderstandings are just small episodes and small holidays.A relationship is a by-product, something derived, something that comes naturally.It is better to be confused and negligent when dealing with relationships than to be shrewd and have too careful calculations.

Heart mark notes
People are social beings, and they always have to interact and communicate with others. It is impossible for anyone to be Robinson Robinson in the 21st century.Everyone has a fear of loneliness and a desire to communicate with others, so the relationship between people becomes complicated.American success scientist Carnegie said: 15% of a person's success depends on his professional knowledge, and 85% depends on interpersonal relationships.Regardless of whether this data is accurate enough, it is enough to illustrate the importance of interpersonal communication.The relationship between people seems to be complicated, but it is actually very simple.Just as Wang Meng said, "People who love others will always love them; those who respect others will always respect them." In the final analysis, Wang Meng's 21 interpersonal principles are to make us sincere. It may be summed up in one sentence: "Treat others as yourself."

(End of this chapter)