The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 35 Encourage children to be brave, and only then can they hope to win the crown of life (2)
Second, let children participate in more challenging activities.During holidays, parents can take their children to travel, climb mountains, or go boating and swimming in rivers and lakes, so as to exercise their children's courage to overcome difficulties.Go to the park to play, and encourage children to walk the "Road of the Brave", such as single-plank bridges and chain bridges.Encourage children to take part in physical exercise regularly, join football and table tennis teams. These sports activities are highly competitive and help to cultivate bravery.

Third, parents should take more responsibility for raising their children, and try to nurture their children with a brave spirit.When faced with difficulties, parents can often deal with them calmly and calmly, which has an important impact on the formation of children's characters.If parents can face the storm bravely and calmly, the children will also be calm and brave.

Fourth, cultivate children's ability to take care of themselves.Parents should believe in their children's abilities, let their children do everything by themselves, and let them solve problems by themselves as much as possible.At the same time, it is necessary to cultivate children's spirit of not being afraid of failure, perseverance, bravery and tenacity, so that children can get rid of the "psychological crutch" that relies on parents everywhere and walk independently.Once, a Chinese scholar visited a kindergarten in the United States and saw a little girl struggling to tie her shoelaces, so she said to her, "Let me help you, okay?" The little girl replied, "Why do you help me? You Do you know how old I am? I’m almost 3 and a half years old.” This confident kid will also be a brave kid.

Fifth, some children are not afraid of difficulties, but they are timid when asked to tell a story in public. This is also a sign of not being brave.After parents discover this situation, they should often take their children to participate in social activities, encourage them to speak, encourage them to freely express their opinions, and use various methods to guide their children to have harmonious contact with their peers.Parents can consciously help their children to make friends, such as inviting neighbors or familiar children from the same class to play at home, or walking into nature with their children, and actively creating a relaxed and cheerful atmosphere.As long as parents continue to cultivate their children's spirit of bravery, I believe your children will gradually become brave and strong.

[Easy interaction]

1. Think about it, as a parent of your child, can you set a brave example for your child?
2. Do you think your child has strong self-care ability?

3. In life, is your child not afraid of difficulties and able to face them bravely?
【Parent-child total product】

A "lion-style parenting method" is popular abroad.

There are many dangers in the forest, and even the lion known as the "King of the Forest" dare not neglect it, even the young lions are no exception.Newly born lion cubs are often pushed under rocks by male lions, trying to find a way to climb up from the predicament of falling.Even if a male lion or a lioness sees a cub encountering difficulties, he will just watch from a distance without interfering, and only lend a helping hand when his life is in danger.

The same is true for children. They cannot live under the wings of their parents and be protected by adults all their lives. In the end, they still have to go to society and face problems alone.

Many parents believe that adopting the "lion-type" parenting method will eventually cultivate their children into a resolute, brave, and independent person like a lion. On the contrary, they may cultivate a waste that cannot survive and protect itself in the forest.

They feel that educating children is very simple and not complicated, just like lions, the most important thing is to understand their children.Parents who don’t understand their children can’t give them correct guidance even if they buy expensive teaching materials; parents who understand their children can teach smart children even with teaching aids made from waste.

【Harvard view】

Encouragement is the best medicine to help children get rid of timidity
Facing the strange world outside, children often become timid and lack the courage to face strange things.Only by helping their children get rid of timidity can parents build up their self-confidence and make them brave and strong.

People are born with an innate fear psychology. When a baby is born, he is afraid of strange sounds and falling from a high place.Psychologists have done such experiments. They let babies who have never seen a cliff pass a simulated cliff. It looks unfathomable, like a cliff, but it is actually just a piece of flat glass.When the baby saw it, he dared not approach the piece of glass, for fear of falling from the "cliff" into the abyss.

However, timidity is mainly caused by acquired reasons.For example, some parents always use scaring methods to make their children obedient.When the child cries, the mother will say: "If you cry again, you will be locked in a dark room." When the child is disobedient, some fathers say: "If you are disobedient again, the tiger will eat you." Let the police catch you", "Let the doctor give you an injection" and other words to scare children.Gradually, the child is afraid of the dark, animals, police, and doctors, and becomes a timid and cowardly person.

Smart parents don't always scare their children, but often encourage them with appreciative eyes, so that they can become brave.

A couple took a boy to the playground to play.As they walked past the swing, Dad lifted the boy onto the swing.As soon as the boy's little butt touched the swing seat, the swing began to shake, and the boy cried out in fright: "Daddy, I'm afraid, I'm going to fall!"

The boy's mother hurried forward and said, "How dangerous it is, you should quickly hold him down!"

However, the father didn't take the boy down. He said to the boy, "Grab the ropes on both sides so that it won't fall down." "No, I'm afraid!" Not daring to move.

"Okay then, I'll take you down. But, I'm going to play for a while!" As he said, the father took the boy down and sat on it himself. It started to sway, and after a while, it swayed very high.

"Dad, you are amazing!" the boy cheered excitedly, with envy on his face.The father took the opportunity to say to the boy: "Why don't you try again?"

The boy said: "Okay. But, I don't want to swing so high. You have to stand under me and catch me if I fall!" Dad agreed with a smile.

This time, although the boy was still a little scared, he was able to sit on the seat and twist his body, hoping to swing the swing.His movements were very ugly, and the swing still didn't move.

The mother next to him watched the boy's antics and laughed loudly: "Honey, are you playing on a swing? You have lice all over your body!"

Hearing this, the boy seemed a little discouraged.

At this time, Dad quickly said: "No, at the beginning, if you want to swing on the swing, you have to do this. Our son is doing very well, and he will be able to swing in a while."

Mom heard what Dad meant, and said quickly: "Oh, I remembered, it was like this when I was on the swing for the first time."

"Really?" Hearing what his mother said, the boy became excited all of a sudden, "Then I'll swing harder!" As he said that, his little butt kept making vigorous gestures.

"Well," said Dad just in time for encouragement, "everyone is terrified the first time they go on a swing, always afraid of falling. Actually, as long as you hold on tight to the rope, you won't fall. "

The boy's swing began to swing, and the father looked at him with a smile, and said, "The first time my father was on the swing, he was also terrified. He sat there and didn't dare to move. You are much better than your father, I believe You must be doing well."

"Really? Am I swinging well now?" The boy was obviously happy, and the swing was already bouncing back and forth with his movements.The little boy's laughter kept echoing in the sky.

It can be seen that every child will have timidity when facing new things, fearing that they will not do well.At this time, if the parents say to the child for the purpose of protecting the child: "Forget it, it's dangerous, don't do it." "Be careful, you will hurt yourself!" "You can't do this, it's too dangerous!" The child's weak courage to explore new things may be frightened away by the parents' scare all of a sudden.

If parents say to their children: "It's okay, let's try it, but pay attention..." Encourage the children to be brave, and at the same time teach them the necessary protection methods and knowledge, then they can protect the children from harm while letting them enjoy themselves. Experience brave fun.

When parents face their children, they need to treat their children as children, treat them in a way that children can accept, and use children's standards to judge and measure them.A child’s low voice does not necessarily mean timidity and low self-esteem, and high voice does not necessarily mean bravery and confidence. Their understanding of the surrounding environment is quite limited, and temporary avoidance and retreat are inevitable. understandable and acceptable.As a parent, you don't have to be at a loss, let alone "label" your children as timid, accuse and laugh at them.

In addition, encouragement is also very important to eliminate the timidity of children.As long as the child makes progress, we should give him sincere encouragement. Through repeated encouragement, the child's self-confidence will gradually increase, and he will feel recognized and accepted, which will help the child eliminate tension and timidity.

[Easy interaction]

1. Think about it, do you think your child is timid in life?

2. Have you ever frightened your child when he made unreasonable demands?
3. If your child is timid, have you ever tried to help your child get rid of the timidity?

【Parent-child total product】

To overcome children's timidity and fear of strangers, parents can also take the following measures.

1. The needs of children's autonomy should not be satisfied blindly, nor should they be too restrictive.Blindly satisfied can easily lead to self-willedness and stubbornness; too much restriction will dampen the self-esteem of the child, thus becoming obedient and dependent, lacking the ability to be independent and independent.In order to play the role of education, children's behavior should be evaluated from the perspective of children, and what they are doing well should be affirmed.But it is necessary to control and limit what the child cannot do to avoid accidents.

2. To expand the child's social life circle.For example, encourage children to play with their friends, let them receive guests, do some entertaining activities within their capabilities, such as delivering tea, candies, and lifting chairs, etc., and encourage children to engage in simple social interactions.When going to the store to buy things, ask the children to tell the salesperson the name of the item they bought, let them ask the price, and thank the salesperson after buying something, say goodbye, etc.

3. Cultivate children's ability and habit of living independently from an early age, and encourage children to do what they can, such as dressing their own clothes, washing their face, sweeping the floor, and tidying up toys and books.When children do these things, parents should guide them in methods.Praise children for their conscientiousness in doing things. For things that children do not do well, in addition to telling them what to do, you should also encourage them to do well next time, so as to enhance their self-confidence in doing well next time.

4. Don't just criticize and criticize children's bad behavior and habits, let alone ridicule and ridicule, this will damage the children's self-confidence and self-esteem.Correcting children's bad behavior habits can be controlled by adults and corrected gradually.It is also necessary to provide children with the conditions for correct behavior. For example, the habit of defecation and defecation can be reminded by adults on time, and gradually develop the habit of defecating by themselves.Another example is to prepare handkerchiefs and prevent children from spitting.

(End of this chapter)