The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 46 Excellent children need space to grow up freely (2)
"Sure." The teacher was already impatient: "Please, just tell me how many are left, okay?"

"Are there any deaf birds in the trees?"

"No."

"Is anyone locked in a cage?"

"No."

"Are there any other trees around, and are there any other birds in the trees?"

"No."

"Are there any crippled or too hungry birds to fly?"

"No."

"Is the human eye blind when hunting birds? Guaranteed to be 10?"

"There are no flowers, so I'm sure there are 10 of them."

The teacher was already sweating profusely, but the child continued to ask, "Is there anyone so stupid that they are not afraid of death?"

"They are all afraid of death."

"Would you kill two with one shot?"

"will not."

"Are all birds free to roam?"

"absolutely okay."

"If your answer is not deceiving," the student said confidently, "if the killed bird hangs on the tree and does not fall, then there will be only one bird left, and if it falls, there will be nothing left."

Before the student finished speaking, the teacher who was accustomed to the standard answer had already fainted!

From this seemingly joke story, we can see how free and unrestrained and full of vitality a child's mind is without restriction!

It can be seen how important it is to let children loose their wings and let them imagine and grow freely.

As a parent, you cannot break your child's wings and dampen their enthusiasm.Instead, consciously guide children, encourage children to think positively, show interest in children's questions, explore together with children, seek unknown answers, and let children be independent, so that children will continue to grow healthily.

In daily family life, children should be guided to deal with various things independently, and gradually develop a good habit of living and thinking independently.Only in this way can our child grow into a healthy person and be able to stand the test of wind and rain.

[Easy interaction]

1. By reading the stories in this section, what enlightenment do you have for educating your children?
2. Think about it, in the daily family education, have you let go of your "wings" to your children?
3. Do you spoil your children?If yes, are you planning to change the practice of spoiling your children?
【Parent-child total product】

American scholar David Lewis summed up the forty points of educating children, which reflects the western family education:
1. Answer all the questions raised by the children patiently and honestly.

2. Take serious questions and opinions raised by children seriously.

3. Set up a display rack and let the children fully display their works on it.

4. Do not scold your child for the mess in his room or on his desk, as long as it is related to his creative activities.

5. Give the child a room or part of a room that is primarily for the child to play in.

6. Explain to the child that he is already cute and there is no need to express himself.

7. Let the children do what they can.

8. Help your child develop his personal plan and find ways to accomplish it.

9. Take the child to play where he is interested.

10. Help the child revise his homework.

11. Help children interact normally with children from different social and cultural classes.

12. Parents develop reasonable behavior habits and take care to make their children learn to do it.

13. Never tell children that he is worse than other children.

14. Allow children to participate in planning housework and travel.

15. Provide children with books and materials and let them do what they love.

16. Teach children to associate freely with a variety of adults.

17. Read something for your child regularly.

18. Let children develop the habit of reading since childhood.

19. Encourage children to make up stories and to fantasize.

20. Take your child's personal requirements seriously.

21. Take time out every day to be alone with your child.

22. There is no need to punish children with insults.

23. Don't tease your child for making mistakes.

24. Praise the child for reciting poems, telling stories and singing songs.

25. Let children think independently.

26. Make detailed experimental plans to help children learn more about things.

27. Allow children to play with all kinds of waste.

28. Encourage children to identify problems and then solve them.

29. In the things that children do, they are constantly looking for something worthy of praise.

30. Don't praise children emptyly and insincerely.

31. Honestly evaluate your feelings for your children.

32. There are no topics that parents cannot discuss with their children at all.

33. Give children the opportunity to actually make decisions.

34. Help the child become a person with personality.

35. Help your kids find interesting TV shows to watch.

36. Give full play to the children's ability to actively recognize their own talents.

37. Don't show contempt for the child's failure, and say to the child: "I won't do this either."

38. Encourage children to be independent of adults as much as possible.

39. Believe in the child's reason and trust him.

40. Let the child do the essential part of the work he is engaged in independently, even if it will not lead to good results.

【Harvard view】

Give the child an independent umbrella and let him hold up his own sky

Only by letting children experience the joy of success will they be able to face the challenges of life with strength and achieve success in the end.If parents blindly arrange everything for their children, it will only deprive them of the opportunity to grow independently.

American psychologist Dale said: "Children need a certain space to grow, to test their abilities, and to learn how to deal with dangerous situations. Don't do anything for the child that he can do by himself. If we do too much, It deprives the child of the opportunity to support his own sky, and also deprives him of self-reliance and confidence." For the future of the child, parents should not "soften their hearts" when they see their children crying, sometimes they need to be cruel and "leave their children alone", so as to cultivate Children's psychological quality and practical ability to overcome difficulties and meet various challenges in life. "Leave him alone" and provide him with opportunities to exercise and do his own things: let him dress himself when he can dress himself, let him eat when he can eat by himself, and let him line up when he can line up by himself.This "don't worry about it" approach can make children independent, self-directed, and self-improving, enable children to accomplish what they can do, and allow children to increase their self-confidence from repeated successful experiences.

10-year-old Tom always likes to let his mother watch him do his homework, and every time he finishes a question, he wants his mother to verify it.At the beginning, my mother always judged right and wrong for him.Later, during a math test, Tom failed to complete the test questions.His mother asked him the reason, and he said that he was always unsure and hesitant when doing the questions, so he wasted time.Only then did my mother realize that maybe it was her "assisting" every moment that made her son lack self-confidence in himself.

Since then, when Tom was doing his homework, his mother was still by his side as usual. Whenever he asked if he was doing his homework correctly, his mother no longer told him right or wrong, but said to him; As a child, you should believe in your abilities and have confidence in yourself. As long as you work hard, even mistakes are forgiven." Gradually, Tom asked his mother less often, and he was always full of enthusiasm after finishing his homework. Confidently said to my mother: "Mom, I'm done."

After reading this story about teaching children, we can see some wrong practices in today's family education: Many parents are willing to spend a lot of money on their children, creating various favorable conditions for them, doing everything by themselves, and letting them live a happy life. Live the life of "stretch out your hands for clothes, and open your mouth for food".And it is this kind of doting that makes children selfish, lazy, timid and cowardly.Once they are asked to do something independently, the answer "I can't" will be blurted out, lacking the courage and perseverance to support their own sky independently. Although "I can't" and "I can do it" are just one letter difference, they are fundamentally different.

Columbus said: "The world belongs to the brave." Everyone needs courage in the journey of life, and this kind of courage should be cultivated from childhood.The reason why eagles can fight the sky is because when they are young eagles, the mother eagle will take them to the edge of the cliff and drive them off the cliff one by one, forcing them to spread their wings and fly.

Therefore, when educating their children, parents must show love, guide them well, and love their children well.It is not good to do everything in children's study and life by themselves. Instead of staring at them, it is better to leave them a free space and give them opportunities to exercise their abilities.Give the child an independent umbrella, let the child use it to experience the wind and rain, fight life, experience the taste of failure and the joy of success, and prop up a sky of their own.

[Easy interaction]

1. Think about it, has Tom's story ever happened to your child?

2. In daily life, do you often encourage your children to accomplish what they can independently?
3. Do you think your child is brave?Will you immediately help your child to be brave?
【Parent-child total product】

The father of the famous American writer Hemingway was an outstanding doctor, an enthusiastic and trained athlete, and a professional researcher of nature.He is especially fond of fishing and hunting.His interests and hobbies have had a great impact on his son, and he is also very concerned about his son's future and growth.

Little Hemingway liked to go to the doctor with his father. His father felt that relying on parents for everything was not good for the child's growth, and the psychology of dependence would affect the development of a person's talents.He felt that it was time to cultivate Hemingway's independent ability.So, when little Hemingway was four years old, when he pestered his father to take him out again, his father refused him. Little Hemingway didn't understand why his father no longer liked to take him out together.He asked his dad, "Did I do something wrong?" Dad held his shoulders and said very seriously, "Son, you didn't do anything wrong. Dad just wants you to move around by yourself. Don't always follow me! " Then he added: "This will be good for you!" After finishing speaking, he gave little Hemingway a fishing rod, and encouraged him to say: "Boldly play with your own! You can do it!" Since then, Hemingway has been Started to play alone in the mountains and by the water.Later, when he was a little older, his father gave him another shotgun.In this way, under the constant guidance and encouragement of his father, little Hemingway started to play independently, and he soon became obsessed with it and was good at fishing, hunting, and exploring.

Later, Hemingway fell in love with reading again.Those hobbies developed by his father stayed with him throughout his life.His independent and exploring character was also formed under the guidance of his father.

(End of this chapter)