A romance novel written only for you

Chapter 55

When Shi Lei's father handed me a black box with tears in his eyes, I couldn't hear what his opening and closing mouth said to me. I just nodded mechanically to him and took the box.Open it, and inside is a copy of the movie, a bone, and a letter.Opening that letter, it was the last words Shi Lei wanted to say to me:
Bao Beining, hello.This is the second time in my life I wrote to you, the first time I wrote to you, and you didn't reply to me.This second time, I don't want you to come back either.I really want to write it as a love letter, but it will definitely not be as long as the one you wrote to me. It seems that I can't compete with you for length, so let's compete with you for touching.hehe.Let me talk about our breakup first. I know this incident must have brought you a lot of harm, and it was all caused by my willfulness.I say to you again, I'm sorry, Bao Beining.Back then I told you that although I love you, I can't give up my ideal for you.It must be painful for you to hear this sentence, right?Haha, you don't know, sometimes I just want to see you in pain, because that proves that you love me very much.Now let me tell you the truth, I didn't break up with you for any ideals.Making movies is not my ideal at all, and I don't want to be a shit director.If I want to say ideal words in my life, maybe there is only one, and that is to grow old with you forever.It's just that there was a crazy idea in my head at the time, I wanted to give you a gift, and this gift was that I wanted to make a movie about us, everything about the romance that happened between us, and I thought it should be recorded .Breaking up is just part of my plan.I think you love me so much that you won't be looking for another girl anytime soon.So I resolutely went to Japan, and I wanted to make a movie in the shortest possible time.I hope it will be screened in Chinese cinemas, when that time I will ask you to watch this movie with me and make up with you in the cinema.Surely you didn't expect this to be the case, did you?hehe.Bao Beining, in fact, you don't know how much I love you.I love you more than you love me.It's just that there are too many unstable factors in my personality, I want to give our love all the romance, I think our love must be different from others.Maybe others also thought about making their love into a movie.But I think no one will implement it like me, even if they want to break up with you temporarily.I used to think I was cool, but now I don't.

When I came back from Japan, I was sad to know that in just one year you had a new girlfriend.But I don't want you to see my sadness.I know, you like girls who love to laugh.I stayed with you for a few days and then left.I thought that although Bao Beining had a new girlfriend, it might only be temporary, he must still love me very much.I will continue to implement my plan, and when my film is finished, Bao Beining will definitely return to my arms.Then one day, I went to you suddenly. I wanted to see what your new girlfriend looked like. When I saw her, I felt a crisis.She is not inferior to me in any way, whether it is appearance or figure.And I feel that she is also the kind of sunny girl with a romantic heart.And maybe the difference between me and her is that I'm crazier than she is, but I realize that's not an advantage.Not long after I left you, I became ill.I'll call you and ask you to tune the TV for me.You must have remembered the TV you bought for me before, right?So you offered to buy me another one.At the time you had no idea how happy I was.When you were leaving at night, I suddenly asked if you still love me?At that time, there was a very serious thinking expression on your face. I rarely saw such an expression on your face. You didn’t know how scared I was at that time. I was afraid that you would tell me that everything was over. , so before you think about the result, let me tell you first, I don't love you anymore.Bao Beining, even if I say I don't love you anymore, I still love you.And if you tell me that you don't love me anymore, then I will be very, very sad, because I know you are an honest person, you always say what you say, and you don't know the sweetness of duplicity.In the days that followed, I often looked for you. I was just testing whether you still had feelings for me. When the house I rented was stolen, your performance made me think that you should still love me.That night we played "Tianxia Taiping", you don't know how much I wanted to write that "sky" as "true", but in order to show my empathetic side, I still drew a horizontal line under the horizontal line .At that time, my heart was so sad, but I was still smiling at you.You should admire such a skill, right?hehe.Later, at dawn, you gave me two ways, either go back with you, or go home.I chose the latter.That's because I don't want to intentionally sabotage your relationship.I hope you end up with other girls and come back into my arms just because you love me.But it's hard.Because of Bao Beining, he is not a courageous person. He is indecisive and never knows how to refuse other people's requests. Moreover, he is full of emotions, and he is likely to have fallen in love with that girl.The perverted thing of loving two people at the same time is likely to happen to Bao Beining.I know him well, but what can I do.Even with all his flaws, I still love him madly and absolutely.Bao Beining, I love you.Do you love me?To be honest, when I wrote this letter, I was full of pessimism.I think it is very likely that you don't love me anymore.

When I was drinking with you in the bone house, I realized that maybe I really did something wrong. I shouldn't break up with you willfully to prepare some romantic gifts.If God gives me another chance, I'd rather be tired of being with you every day, even if it's just eating and sleeping.You don't know, I have a lot of sadness in the process of making movies, I always cry for no reason.I've become a little less like myself.When I knew you were in Guangzhou, I hesitated for a long time, but I went anyway.Just because I want to stay with you.But I don't know why, you are so indifferent to me.You have never been so cold to me.You go to work every day, and I watch TV at home.As soon as I thought you would come back from get off work and take me out for dinner, I enjoyed watching it.Even though I couldn't understand a word of Cantonese spoken by the people on TV, I still enjoyed watching it.After you get off work, I will smile at you flatteringly.I hope you can be nice to me.But you have always been so cold to me.Until one night, I couldn't take it anymore.I want to sleep with you.Remember that time when I first came back from Japan?I sat naked by your bed for a long time, I have done this before, I like to sneak up in the middle of the night to look at your sleeping face.You have a habit when you sleep, you always like to sleep curled up, that position is very cute, like a fragile little animal.Later, I woke you up, got into your bed, and you were captured by me.hehe.That night in Guangzhou, I thought you would still be easily captured by me, but you didn't.You suddenly got mad at me and said a bunch of things that broke my heart.I know why you are cold to me. It turns out that the day we were drinking, your new girlfriend's mother died suddenly, and you were not by her side.You must be full of self-blame in your heart. I know you are a person who never wants to hurt others. If you hurt others, then you will be very painful.I understand you, what really breaks my heart is that you say you don't love me anymore.He said so resolutely that there was no room for negotiation.You also said that you are not a crazy person, you don't want to play the game of love with me anymore, you are really tired.Only then did I know that my madness had deeply hurt you, so I cried sadly. I had never cried like that before. When I thought that Bao Beining no longer loved me, my tears could not be stopped.And besides crying, I can only keep saying to you, I'm sorry.Bao Beining, later you said that you hoped to be good friends with me.You also said that friends are rice, and you will never be bored for a lifetime.I said yes at the time.That was a forced nod, because I suddenly felt that if I didn't promise to be your friend, maybe you would never want to see me again.I can only agree.

After leaving Guangzhou, when I got home, I felt a sore throat, but I didn't care.Later, the pain became more and more painful. One day I couldn't take it anymore, so I went to the hospital by myself for a checkup.After the examination, the doctor refused to show me the report, so he asked me to go home and find my parents.I realized I might be terminally ill.At my insistence, the doctor told me that I had throat cancer.My first reaction at the time was what throat cancer was.After the doctor's patient explanation, I knew the seriousness of the problem.He said that I might not be able to speak in the future.I thought to myself what should I do then.If I really can't speak anymore, Bao Beining will definitely not want me.Hehe, am I judging the belly of a gentleman with the heart of a villain?In fact, I know that if I really can't speak anymore, you will most likely return to my arms, stop being friends with me, fall in love with me again, and marry me.I know you too well, your heart is too soft, Bao Beining.That made me decide not to break the news to you.Although I love you very much, how can I have the heart to let you marry a dumb person?hehe.Under the persuasion of the doctor, I finally decided to have an operation.The doctor said that after the operation, it is very likely that it will be fine, and it is very likely that it will be worse.I can only gamble.One day not long after the operation, you suddenly called me.I think it must be you who want to invite me to dinner.What you promise to others, you will always remember and try your best to do it.I listened to the ringing of my mobile phone, I wanted to answer this call, but I couldn't.Then the phone hung up and I sent you a text message.You really want to invite me to dinner.On a whim, I said that there is a new French restaurant opposite the China-Japan Hospital, and I hope you will take me to eat there.I know you will definitely agree, and I also tell you that you must wear a suit and tie.But the fact is that there are no French restaurants on the opposite side of the Sino-Japanese Hospital.I lied to you again, I just wanted to see you selfishly.That day I was waiting in front of the window of my ward on the fifth floor of the hospital. When I saw you getting off the taxi in a suit, I cried.Bao Beining, you are really saving face.On such a cold day, you actually came here in a suit.While weeping, I looked at you upstairs with a telescope. You, in a suit and tie, are the groom of my dreams.I thought to myself, even if he caught a cold because of me just to see my groom, he wouldn't blame me if he found out later, would he?do you blame meBao Beining.I hope you don't blame me.

After the surgery, I was doing fine.The doctor told me to stop talking, but I still couldn't control it, so I called you.At that time you said you were in Yunnan, we chatted for a long time, I was very happy.Shortly after that call, my throat started to hurt again. It turned out that cancer cells appeared again, hey.I live in the hospital, and I send you a text every once in a while, asking how you are doing.I'm happy when I know you're doing well.I'm lying in the hospital, and the only hope is that life will pass faster, so that I can text you again after a while to ask how you are.I don't dare to send you text messages too often, I'm afraid you'll bother me.I was lying in the hospital, I couldn't speak, I couldn't communicate with people.I just close my eyes and remember our love, I feel so sweet, I am not bored at all.But sometimes I suddenly miss you so much, I want you to come to my bed so I can reach out and touch your face.But I can only look at the photos we have taken, and touch your face in the photos.Bao Beining, when I was in love with you, I treated you very badly, made you suffer a lot, and always scolded you, you have a lot, don't take it to heart.If you don't mind, I'll tell you another secret, hehe, remember the first time we met in the cinema?If I say it's cold, you just say I can put my hand in your pocket.Then you reached in with your own hand and held mine, and then I made you responsible, and you were stupid at the time.You must not have thought that you would be slapped with just touching your hand, right?Hehe, in fact, you were designed by me.Before that, I fell in love with you before I saw you in person, hehe, is it amazing?You will know after watching the movie.

Bao Beining, the filming of the movie has been finished, I will give it to you, I hope you like it.I also left that bone with you.I remember at that time I said that if my child had difficulties and went to you with a bone, you must help.At that time you said yes.But I won't have children anymore, but I think this bone should still be useful, because Bao Beining, whom I love, is a man who promises a lot, and now I ask you to promise me one thing in the name of this bone.That is to live a good life with your soon-to-be-married wife, live a solid life, and it is true to be ordinary.It was so hard to see you again after two years, and I'm really happy for you.Now you and her are going to enter the palace of marriage, Bao Beining, you must love her as much as you love me.I told my dad, I will give you this letter when I die.I think you will be very sad when you know that I am dead, right?hehe.You will surely shed tears for me, and it makes me happy to think of it.Bao Beining, don't be too sad.I will definitely go to heaven.With my angelic face and devilish figure, God will definitely like me, and he will be as good to me as you are. With God taking care of me for you, don’t miss me, or God should be jealous, haha.All you have to do is love her well.You must not tell her about our affairs, our affairs are too crazy, no one will accept it after listening.You are also not allowed to use those romantic secrets between us to please others, such as resolutely not making the gesture of "love you for 1 years" to any girl, and not playing the couple version of "Tianxia Taiping" with any girl.At the end of this letter, I resumed bossing you around again, I hope you don't mind, Bao Beining.I have nothing more to say to you, I just hope you are doing well.See you no more.

Your Rice Shi Lei

Nov. 2006, 3

(End of this chapter)