Jade Guanyin

Chapter 21

A year after I saw An Xin for the first time in the training hall of the Taekwondo Hall of Jingshi Sports School, that is, a week after Zhong Ning and I parted ways, I took An Xin and her lovely son Xiao Xiong into my home and started our cohabitation life.

Living together with An Xin this time is completely different from the last time I forced her to stay and serve me like a rogue with a sprained ankle. This time I live with An Xin officially, almost like a common declaration of ours. A conscious choice made by both parties is a recognition of the other party that cannot be expressed more forcefully without it, and a way for us to get comfort, caress and dependence from each other.This kind of life made me realize my responsibilities and obligations, and made me suddenly become as old as an adult.

Every morning, An Xin would get up early to cook for us, and I got up to help the little bear dress and talk to him.Then we had breakfast together, leaving the table behind and leaving the pots and pans and scum until evening.An Xin hurried to work in the furniture city on the third ring road. I went with her, took the little bear to a residential building near the furniture city, and handed the child over to his "grandmother"—a very charitable old man whose children were desolate under his knees. Mrs.The old lady charged us a low fee for babysitting. The main reason was to make the baby and her company happy in her later years. Even if we didn’t pay her to let her watch for nothing, she would be willing, but we would feel bad if we didn’t pay.

After delivering the children every day, I went out to find a job.I have to work!Because I want to support An Xin and her child.You feel very fulfilled and energized when someone you love needs you, and that's one thing that gets you excited.This is completely different from the way I used to think and feel about work.I used to be used to doing nothing, and I had aspirations to excel, but neither was as noble as the feeling I have now.

At the beginning, I didn't know that looking for a job is psychologically a process of repeated torture and destruction of self-esteem.I am handsome, have a college degree, have some training in my eloquence, and have seen a little of the world. During job interviews, I can basically be graceful and well-mannered, and I will not blush to see my speech dull.I originally thought that with my conditions, even if I am not a must-have talent for businessmen, I will not be unpopular and can't find something to do, so I can't help being complacent.Only after visiting several companies did I realize that what is lacking now is only a handful of professional talents such as computer software engineers, senior finance, financial business management, etc.Everything is missing.College students like me who are not popular in majors and have a diploma can only be regarded as ordinary talents.There are too many ordinary people, and they are everywhere.Without the support of acquaintances, the academic qualifications and advantages I think I am proud of are actually nothing in the eyes of others.

In the process of looking for a job, I kept degrading, and even went to a computer company to work as a "blue collar" for a few days, just moving those dead computers all day long.To the outside world, he is the administrator of the supply department of this computer company, but what he does every day is pure manual work.Later, I found out that the work of moving computers and moving cabbage, rice, and wood is actually similar, and there is no difference in nature.After working for three days, I saw that what they needed was a labor force, so I immediately fired the company.Times have changed. A few years ago, it was always said that those who engage in missiles are not as profitable as those who sell eggs, and those who learn computers are not as fast as those with sauced pig heads. Now the history that has been reversed has finally been reversed. Those who sell physical strength are not as good as those who sell brain power. more money!

I had to find some connections I knew when I was working at Guoning Company, and I stopped immediately after finding two.These companies are all holding Guoning as a big customer. They all know what kind of grievances and entanglements have occurred between me and the Zhong family. The idiot who was kicked out by the family.My image in the eyes of these people is that of a wretched wretch who deserves no sympathy.Moreover, people like me, who are not clear about right and wrong, are afraid to avoid them. If I give money for nothing, people don't necessarily want me.

I can't find anyone who can help me.Including Liu Minghao, including my dad.I called Liu Minghao three times, but he didn't answer; when I called his cell phone, the person who answered the phone was a woman with a foreign accent. I heard it was the little secretary Liu Minghao hired cheaply. After asking for a long time who you were, I told me Whoever it was, she immediately said that Mr. Liu was not there and had gone on a business trip.I know Liu Minghao is on the side, I can feel it.I originally wanted to say: You tell him to come back and call me.But think about it or forget it, why bother.

I went to find my dad, but I couldn't say anything when I saw my dad's distraught appearance.Not long after I resigned, my father was also dismissed by Guoning Company on the grounds that migrant workers from Jiangsu and Henan had a fight on the construction site.In fact, my dad was not responsible for the fight at all. If the management is not strict, I should talk to the people from the construction company.But my dad didn't appeal. Who doesn't know that this is just a crime to be imposed. Anyway, it is going to be fired. You can say whatever you want.Although my dad is old, he still has this look in his eyes.He doesn't hate Zhong Ning and Zhong Guoqing at all, what he hates is me.

An Xin couldn't find anyone who could help her, her only old friend in Beijing, her first coach got cancer, and finally died six months ago in the hospital.She gets a basic salary of 500 yuan a month from the furniture factory, and the rest depends on sales commissions.If the sales are good, you can raise 1000 or 5000 at the end of the month, and the maximum is 5000 a month. If the sales are not good, you can raise 3000 to 2000.Anxin also sent [-] yuan to Captain Pan in the month that he raised [-] yuan.The last time Xiaoxiong suffered from a sudden illness with a high fever, Lao Pan happened to be on a business trip to Beijing, and he had to pay all the travel expenses of [-] yuan with him to let the child be admitted to the hospital first. Tears that night thing.Later, Lao Pan sent me another [-] yuan to repay the medical expenses that An Xin had borrowed from me.Of the [-] yuan, [-] yuan was a subsidy from the anti-narcotics brigade reporting to the bureau to apply for special approval for peace of mind, and the other [-] yuan was contributed by Lao Pan, Lao Qian, and some other comrades in the team.An Xin has never returned.

My cohabitation life with An Xin was full of ups and downs and difficulties from the very beginning, and this was also the happiest and most passionate period of time we spent together.In those days, we get strength from being in love and feel happiness.No matter how bad it is, never complain about the other party.Every morning when we break up, we encourage each other, our belief is that we all live and work hard for each other, so we are more spiritually fulfilled.During the day, no matter what difficulties and unhappiness we encounter, we will always think that we have a common home, and we will all look forward to returning to our small nest as soon as night falls.Every night, we leaned on each other, sitting on the rug in front of the sofa, watching the child sleeping on the sofa.In order to save electricity bills, we turned off the lights, did not turn on the TV, and just sat and talked softly.Sometimes I don’t say anything, just sit silently, put my head on my lap with peace of mind, we touch each other’s body, my heart is full of happiness and peace, full of nobility and purity that I have never felt before, And a little bit tragic.

If we don’t count the children’s expenses, our monthly food expenses were always controlled within [-] yuan during that period, and we often lived on pickles.An Xin said that she is used to this kind of hard life anyway, but Yang Rui, you are used to delicacies from mountains and seas, how can you lose your nutrition all of a sudden.I said it's okay, I'm in good health, and my previous thinness has nothing to do with nutrition.

In the next period of time, because I couldn't find a more suitable job, I had to put down my face and do some physical work.Later, even the work of moving computers passed through this village and there was no such shop.Later, I moved books to the publishing house, moved drinks and beer to the wholesale food station, and moved cables to the power supply bureau... In short, I need to make money!I need to go home exhausted every day with a pale face and a gray body, so that An Xin will love me from the bottom of my heart!
At that time, if there was no pain, no love in my heart, and no feeling of being hurt and loved, I would definitely not persevere in such suffering.Dirty and tired are not the main thing, the main thing is the anxiety and uneasiness because of work and the sense of lowliness like migrant workers from other places.Once I delivered beer to a restaurant named "Friday", and I ran into a girl who had chased me at the door. She was coming to eat with a group of fashionable men and women in a famous brand, and she couldn't recognize me when she saw me like this Come out: "Hey, isn't this Yang Rui, why are you so virtuous?" I couldn't tell whether her tone was sincere or teasing: "I heard that you resigned, what's the matter, are you making beer now? Business, or here to experience life?" I smiled, and did not evade the gazes of her and her friends, and I said, "No, it's life to experience me." That's right, it's life Experience me and see what else I can't bear, whether it's tiredness, hunger, sense of loss, or face.I got through all of these.Although An Xin and I treat this kind of life psychologically differently, she is more natural, happy in poverty, has no sense of suffering, and really feels happy when there is a little good thing, but I always feel that all these are temporary, and I still have a bright future day.All these unforeseen and never-before-experienced sufferings and hardships are the tempering and testing of our love by God!

In this unforgettable life, one of the most difficult hurdles to overcome was that the child was sick, and just like last time, he had a high fever.We carried him to the emergency room in the middle of the night, and we diagnosed that the cause of the high fever was the same as last time, it was congenital pleurisy attack.The doctor said the child had to be hospitalized.Same as last time, the deposit for hospitalization is at least [-], and if it is less, it will not be charged.An Xin and I were at our wits' end, and in desperation, we had no other choice. I stomped my feet, took An Xin with the child in my car, and went to Tuanjie Lake to find my dad.

After Zhong Ning and I broke up, my dad and I only met once, and we broke up after a fight.That time my dad drank a few sips of alcohol and said something hurtful to my personality and insulted An Xin. I almost swore at that time that I would never see him again.But now that An Xin's child is sick like this, An Xin is so anxious that all she has left to cry is, as her man, I can only put down my face, put down my pride and kneel down, and knock on my father's door again.

We arrived at Tuanjie Lake by car. I wanted An Xin and the children to wait for me outside, but it was raining that day and they had no place to stay outside.Besides, I was also worried that my dad would not lend me money even if he had money, so I simply let An Xin go upstairs with the bear in his arms. I wanted my dad to see how sick this child is.

But as soon as I knocked on the door, my heart was half cold. My dad was drinking again, half drunk.This was the first time he saw An Xin, and he was taken aback at first, unable to realize who the woman holding the child was.I said, "Dad, this is peace of mind. Her child is very sick. Can you help us?" My dad's face flushed. Crooked, his mouth was slurred but his voice was very loud, venting the long-standing anger.

"I'll help you, who will help me? Yang Rui, are you still my son? You don't care if your father has no work and food. I only have such a little pension. I can't even afford corn bread. Are you young and strong?" Come on me, if you let the neighbors hear you, you won’t be scolded to death!” I suppressed the fire, held back my breath, and said, “Dad, this child has acute pleurisy. Help us, save him." My dad didn't even look at the child or An Xin, but he pointed at them and yelled at me: "Whose child is this? Is it yours? It's our old Yang Are you a child? Ah! Even you don’t look like a member of the old Yang’s family anymore, and the old Yang’s family can’t do anything like you!” I finally became anxious, and raised my voice: “I What are you doing? There is nothing shameful about what I did!" "You don't feel ashamed, do you? Don’t you believe it? Why did such a child come out? You said it wasn’t yours, and it wasn’t yours, why did you carry it around all day long! You rubbed on your body more and more, and brought it home to me when you rubbed it all over. The child is not yours and you have the face to take it home, don’t you feel ashamed? I’m ashamed! I can’t fucking afford to lose this person! Get them out of here quickly!” I was so angry , I rushed up to grab my dad, I looked like I was going to desperately, but I couldn't say anything except yelling: "What are you talking about!"An Xin held the child in one hand and pulled me with the other. She shouted anxiously: "Yang Rui, let go! He is your father, let go Yang Rui!" I let go, and my father slapped me on the chest face, and shouted at the same time: "You are not my son, you are a woman, you dare to beat your father! You are a beast!" Tears welled up in my eyes, I turned around and ran out, trembling all over my body. door, and ran out of the house where I grew up.

An Xin ran out with me, and behind us was my dad's irrational shout: "If you have the backbone, don't come back. I don't recognize you as a son, and you don't have my father. I raised you for nothing. 20 I have raised you for 20 years for nothing!" I ran to the street, the rain scattered the tears on my face, but the tears kept coming up, blurring my vision.The streets, vehicles and pedestrians in the rain all seemed to be covered in a thick glass cover, shadowy and indistinct.An Xin chased her out. Holding an umbrella in one hand and holding the child in the other, she chased after them in the rain with difficulty.I stood under the empty awning at the 403 bus stop, soaked and twisting my head, not wanting her to see my tears.An Xin came over, still holding the red cloth umbrella mechanically, and she said: "Yang Rui, you are doing this to your father for me. , but I, I am nothing. Me and this child, we are nothing..." I turned around and hugged her, and I hugged her and the dull-eyed and hot bear in her arms.The red umbrella tilted from our heads and slid down, and none of us picked it up.I hugged them tightly and didn't say anything.A No. 20 bus pulled into the station, a few people got off from it, then the doors closed and drove away.I still hold An Xin and the child tightly, I put my face on her shoulder, and I can feel a slight sob on her shoulder: "I said earlier, I am a vixen, no matter which man wants it I’m going to be unlucky.” I hugged her hard, and in the increasingly heavy rain, I said: “I just want you, I want this child too, I won’t be unlucky, we won’t be unlucky Yes! We will be happy in the future! Happier than them!” This is what I expressed to the doctor in the hospital an hour later—the child is mine!I took out both my ID card and An Xin’s ID card to the doctor, and I said, "The child is also a member of the state, so you can’t just ignore it. I put all the ID cards here, can you let the child be hospitalized first?" I'll send you the deposit!" The doctor was a woman in her 403s, she looked at me and at An Xin, probably we didn't look like adults, nor did we look like parents.She asked suspiciously: "Are you the child's father? Your surname is Yang, why is the child's surname An?...Oh, it's the mother's surname." She took a look at An Xin, and An Xin and the child were quite similar.She said: "Accordingly, we don't have the right to detain your ID cards. Let me discuss with the inpatient department. You can take your child to the treatment room for IV drip first. Can you stay in the hospital for a while? You should pay for the IV drip first." Let's go." An Xin and I looked at each other, and I said to An Xin: "Let the child hit it first, and I'll get the money right away." I turned around and walked outside, An Xin called me, but she didn't dare to amplify her voice in front of the doctor. I asked blankly, "Yang Rui, where are you going to get it?" I didn't know where I was going to get it, so I said, "Let's find someone." Go to the treatment room and tell the person in the treatment room to put the needle on first.Because there is no cash receipt stamp on the list according to the regulations, the treatment room will not give you the injection.

I went back to the rain again, holding that old and faded red umbrella, standing in a daze in the rain, I couldn't think of where I could go!

I still went to find Liu Minghao.

I didn't call, went directly to Fangzhuang, and found his house.I think if he is not at home, I will wait for him at the door.

As I hoped, Liu Minghao is at home.I hope he was sleeping at home after being late at the bar last night.Liu Minghao said before that when it is windy and rainy, it is most comfortable to sleep with the quilt covered. It would be even better if there is hail outside!

I knocked on the door, but he wouldn't open it. I don't know if he really didn't wake up or was too lazy to get up, or he saw me through the cat's eyes and pretended not to be at home.I kept knocking patiently for 10 minutes, until the neighbors around me opened their doors to look at me, and I felt ashamed when I knocked, and when I was about to go downstairs in frustration, the door opened.

Liu Minghao's clothes were disheveled and his eyes were sleepy. Seeing me standing at the door with my whole body wet, he was a little embarrassed and a little bit sorry, and was stunned.

"Yang Rui? Why are you here so early, yo, it's almost eleven o'clock, look at me sleeping now... Come on, come in, come in, where did you get rich all this time, everyone I can't find you." I entered the room, the room was newly carpeted, and I stood at the door, not daring to go in.Like a countryman covered in water for fear of soiling his master's room.Liu Minghao helped me get my slippers, and said, "It's raining so hard outside, do you want to change?" I stood in the hallway, took off all my wet clothes, and put on a pair of fat and big clothes that Liu Minghao threw over me. trousers and a jumper before entering his living room.

Liu Minghao also put on a pajamas, with his hair crooked, sat down on the sofa with me face to face, and asked: "How about this period, are you living alone or with..." I said: " Still together with An Xin." Liu Minghao's surprise was always performative, but he might not have been surprised in his heart: "Good guy, we've been together for a long time, it's been more than four months, you and Zhong Ning are not after the Spring Festival. Did you blow it? Oh, it’s been half a year." I said, "Old Liu, I have a difficult problem right now, can you lend me some money?" Liu Minghao probably guessed my purpose a long time ago. Hanging out with friends from all walks of life in bars and restaurants, he would know what happened to anyone.He said, "Are you in a hurry? I just made a business recently, and all the money has been put in. I'm still borrowing someone else's money." I lowered my head and said, "It's very urgent. I need it today, don't worry. The child is sick." Liu Minghao paused, and said: "Tell the truth to the eldest brother, is that child yours? Why don't they believe that I am the one who brought you to know An Xin? This is not enough Why did you have a baby?" I said, "It's not mine." "Then why are you so concerned?" I couldn't answer for a long time, and then I said, "I love them." Liu Minghao He was stunned, this really didn't look like me, and he didn't look like the boy he was familiar with, Yang Rui, who went around picking up girls and looking for fun, as long as he was happy.He looked at me for a while and said, "What's wrong, how much do you want?" I said, "The deposit for hospitalization is 3000..." He said, "Where are you doing now? There must be a labor union in your unit, right? Can you advance a little for me?" I said, "It's hard to find a job now, and what I'm doing now are all temporary things..." Liu Minghao sighed, and said, "I've advised you, Yang Rui, don't think you're old You can earn money by being beautiful. Even if you are beautiful, the probability of meeting a woman like Zhong Ning is not so high. You must listen to me. I said earlier that people can’t want everything. If you want this, don’t want that. When you have money and a career, don’t ask for any more love, don’t be greedy for those empty words. Peace of mind is beautiful, and I like it too, but there are many things, but nothing is a blessing! As I said earlier, Princess Diana of England Awesome or not? Fame, status, money, everything, but she still wants love, but..." I stood up before he finished speaking, and walked towards the door without saying a word.Liu Minghao called out behind me: "Yang Rui!" I didn't answer.He watched me change into the wet clothes I threw there with a calm face in the hallway, followed me, smiled, and said, "You are so fucking poor and ambitious..." I changed back into my wet clothes and opened the door , Liu Minghao said: “Which hospital are you in? .He said: "Tell you, this is equivalent to lending you 1000 yuan. I sold my stock for you. Now that it is locked up, throwing it out at this time is equivalent to losing half of it. I have no other choice. Remember!" I took the money.From the bottom of my heart, I feel how humble I am!
Liu Minghao looked at An Xin in the treatment room, but didn't speak to her.He patted me on the shoulder and said, "I'm leaving first, I'll call you in a few days." A few days later, Liu Minghao really called me, and he invited me to eat Shanghainese dishes at Lulu Restaurant in Tuanjie Lake.

I went.

I used to come to this famous Shanghai restaurant. The environment is nice and the food is cheap.When I arrived, Liu Minghao hadn't come yet, so I searched around inside and outside and stood at the door waiting for him without seeing anyone.After waiting for half an hour, he came in a Xiali. Seeing me standing stupidly at the door, he complained to me: "Why don't you go to the ordering station first?" , Liu Minghao may have forgotten that I carry at most 20 yuan with me now, how dare I sit down and order food alone in this kind of place!What if he doesn't come after I ordered food!
We went in to find a seat, and Liu Minghao took the menu from the lady, handed it to me, and said, "I'm so tired of ordering." I pushed the menu back and said, "You should order." I It's been a long time since I ate out, and I'm not used to ordering food.

Seeing that we were pushing each other, the lady took the opportunity to recommend two expensive dishes.Liu Minghao didn't want it, saying that he had eaten both dishes and they were not good.He ordered a few dishes by himself, braised lion head in braised oil, fried eel paste, braised fish head, and so on. Then he ordered beer and asked the lady to serve it quickly, and then he started chatting with me.

"I'm looking for you today, and I really have something to do." He said, "Do you have another place to live?" I didn't understand for a while, "No, I'll just stay at our house." Liu Minghao was a little embarrassed As if opening his mouth: "Hey, it's your dad who came to me, asked me to find you, and wanted you to move out of that house. Isn't that the room allocated by your dad? He is going to rent that room out now, and he has already discussed it with the next family. Alright." My face froze all of a sudden, I'm not saying that my father is too cruel, I just feel that I'm so embarrassed in front of Liu Minghao that I don't have any dignity - even your own father will kick you out What face do you have!
Liu Minghao also explained for my dad: "It's not easy for your dad. It's even harder for him to find a job to make money now than you. It's either that he doesn't like things, or he doesn't like things. What kind of factory Director, project vice president, where can I find such things, but he doesn't want to find a place to watch the car and guard the door, and he can't afford to lose that position. He will only be able to live on his little pension in the future. It’s hard enough. If there is a house that can be rented out, at least it can maintain normal expenses. You know your father, and there is no one to take care of him after the babysitter left. He usually likes to drink, The money is definitely not enough." I suppressed the anger and desolation in my heart, it was my own father and I couldn't get angry in front of outsiders.I said slowly: "Old Liu, tell me, where do I live?" Liu Minghao tapped his fingers on the table, did not speak, shook his head after knocking for a while, sighed, and said: "Yes, you too There is no place to go, and besides, you still have peace of mind and a child. Then how can I tell your dad later? Just say that you can’t move now?” I drank my beer and said, “It’s up to you , You can say whatever you want. You tell him that he asked the factory for this apartment in my name. If he didn’t let me live in it, he should hand it back.” Liu Minghao said: “Now the state-owned Enterprises have also stopped allocating housing for welfare, and the allocated housing has to be bought by individuals. If your father buys this housing, it is his personal property, and he has the right to let you live in it, and also has the right to let you move. You are not The law on minors must protect you in particular. In my opinion, you should go home and talk softly to your father. When people get old, they always eat soft things instead of hard things.” I said, “Tell him, He has his rights, and he can exercise them if he wants to. Even if he forcibly takes over the house and orders me to move out in court, I won’t be unable to live. Tell him, me, An Xin, and Xiao Xiong, we will live a good life!" Liu Minghao saw that I was excited, and followed my words: "That's right, let's live..." He only answered "And I'm alive" and stopped suddenly. I guess he wanted to say: "He died first." But luckily he stopped.Anyway, I am my dad's son after all, no matter how he treats me, he is still my dad.I think that once I have money in the future, I will still help him support him, and so will An Xin.At that time, seeing him feel uncomfortable or not!

Liu Minghao raised his glass, touched me, and said conciliatoryly, "I'll go back to work as your father. Your father must still feel sorry for you. The main reason is that he can't accept An Xin and that child." Then he transferred Topic: "Hey, if you really have nothing to do now, I know a buddy. He is the director of the laundry factory of Rendezvous Hotel. They want to hire a mechanic there. Aren't you a student of mining machinery? Would you like to?" Are you willing to go to their place to be a mechanic? I think the general knowledge of machinery is the same." We didn't talk about my dad again during that meal, and Liu Minghao didn't ask An Xin or Xiao Xiong, as if they were all unclean things. .I had three bowls of rice for that meal, and I was very full, but I intentionally ate less vegetables.When paying the bill, I asked Liu Minghao if I could pack so many leftovers and take them home.To be honest, I haven’t enjoyed such a delicacy for a long time. I especially want An Xin and Xiaoxiong to share it. People’s thoughts when they are poor are often so simple and straightforward.Liu Minghao quickly said no problem, no problem, and took the initiative to call the waiter to bring a packing box.He also asked me if I would like to order two more dishes to bring together, I said no.

I happily came home with those leftovers that night, hopeful that I left work without eating.When I got home, An Xin had already returned, and she said that she had already eaten, that she was full after eating a steamed bun on the way to the hospital to see the little bear after get off work.I went to the kitchen to have a look, and there was half a steamed bun left. I insisted on reheating the dish and letting her eat some more, and she ate it.I sat across from her and watched her chewing carefully while eating, which made me feel very comfortable.I said, "Do you still remember when I invited you to dinner and you always pretended to be my grandson?" She took a bite of the food and raised her head to wink at me: "How can I pretend to be a grandson?" Forget about pretending to be a little cheap with men." She didn't know whether she really forgot or pretended to be stupid, and said, "What, I remember that I borrowed money from you when I first came up, and you were quite unwilling, you I almost didn’t jump into the river after hearing what I said at that time.” I smiled and asked, “Why didn’t you jump?” An Xin became serious again, and said, “What should I do if I jump into the river?” I was silent for a while, and said: “ If you can’t finish eating, do you want to bring some to Xiao Xiong tomorrow?” Seeing her immediately put down the chopsticks, I said, “Eat as you eat, as much as Xiao Xiong can eat.” An Xin still put away all the dishes, And discreetly, and in an aluminum lunch box.We turned off the refrigerator early to save electricity.An Xin put half a basin of cold water in the kitchen, and put the aluminum lunch box in the town.She said: "No matter how good I have been to the child in my life, I still owe him, and I will always owe him." I said, "You don't owe him at all, you have saved him several times, and you still owe him What?" An Xin didn't speak for a long time, and suddenly said: "He is so young, he doesn't have a father. He grows up and asks me, what should I say?" I said: "Just tell the truth, what's the matter." An Xin sighed , her little girl's face seemed to have some old-fashioned wrinkles, she said: "Then he must hate me!" I walked into the kitchen and stood behind An Xin.I didn't know why and suddenly said: "Then let's get married, and I will be the father." This is the first time the word "marriage" has been mentioned between us.An Xin lowered her head to wash the dishes, but she didn't respond.

"You don't want to talk about this do you?" I asked.

An Xin still lowered her head, washing the dishes.

I said, "Then forget that I didn't say anything." An Xin stopped, turned around suddenly, hugged me tightly with her wet hands, her whole body twitched, and began to cry.

"Yang Rui,...how can I have the face to talk to you about marriage? I am a person with children, and I am worthless in front of you. You treat me well and take me in. I will never repay you in my life...I have already I can't wrong you after ruining Tiejun. I really didn't think about it, I never wanted you to marry me! I've thought about it, I'll leave when you find a suitable girl!" I also hugged An Xin, with my hands Rubbing her back to calm her sobs.I said: "Where do you want to go, you are the most suitable. In my eyes, you are the best woman. I like you from the inside to the outside. I still think I am not good enough for you. I never mentioned it. The reason for getting married is that you haven't forgotten those things in the past, I want to wait until we mention them, anyway, we are still young." An Xin stopped crying, she still hugged me, in this narrow kitchen that couldn't turn around, We hugged for a long time.An Xin sniffled and said, "I'm not lying to you, Yang Rui. I never thought that I would marry anyone else. I just want to be a policeman after I grow up the child. I don't want to be like Now there is no organization, no colleagues, no collective, living like a beggar for life! But I can’t help it, I’m hiding now, I can’t go home, I can’t go back to the team, I’m afraid I’ll die, what should I do, bear, I’m not doing it now My child, I am not afraid of death at all. Really Yang Rui, don't be so nice to me, I will really not be able to repay you in the future!" I hugged An Xin, I hugged her, hugging this changed me, let The woman I am almost reborn, I communicate my love with a powerful touch.Then I put it next to her ear, very softly, and said to her: "I am nice to you because I need you and because I want to be with you. Just wait, sooner or later, I will marry you!"

(End of this chapter)