If the deep sea is not happy

Chapter 36 Before love and hatred disappear, warm my face with your hands (4)
At home, she let him eat mustard empty-handed, and he didn't even frown; to ride the vulgar Ferris wheel, he was already dizzy enough, but he had to protect another dizzy her; after riding the roller coaster Feeling sick, he endured the tumbling in his stomach and bought mineral water for her who also vomited; he took her around Shanghai's large and small fashion stores, but most of the time she just looked at them and didn't buy them; she was not happy Yes, he played the red-nosed clown to amuse her.

There are many such things, and there are not many such simple happiness, so Cheng Moyi will never forget this kind of Ah Jin in the days to come.

Xia Zhilin looked at Cheng Moyi like this worriedly, she said that Cheng Moyi would fall into Xue Jinhan's hands one day.Qin Ye said, maybe this is a catastrophe between the two of them, if they get through it, it will be a sunny day, if they can't get over it, it can only be said that the fate of the two of them is here.

It's been a long time like this, Xue Jinhan has been doing well in Shanghai, and every time Cheng Moyi mentioned to let him go back to Beijing, his brows would frown for several days in a row.

In the winter of his senior year, Cheng Moyi finally couldn't help asking Xue Jinhan about his story, but Xue Jinhan prevaricated with "nothing".

Cheng Moyi hugged Xue Jinhan from behind: "Ah Jin, why are you never willing to tell me about you?"

"It's really nothing, I'm fine, so what's on my mind?" Xue Jinhan hugged her slender waist with his backhand, "Sleep, you're going back to Beijing tomorrow."

"Ajin, what do you think is our relationship?" In the darkness, Cheng Moyi couldn't see his face, but could only hear the sound of breathing clearly close to his ears.

If the decision to come to Shanghai to see Xue Jinhan for the first time was impulsive, then the future can be said to be logical?Lying on Xue Jinhan's big bed that night wearing a water-green skirt, feeling the breath he left here, his heart was full like a ripe pomegranate, sour and sweet.

At midnight, she got up and stood barefoot at the door of the bedroom, quietly looking at Xue Jinhan lying on the floor of the living room. After wandering in her mind, she realized that Xue Jinhan was also looking at a photo with wide eyes.

She clearly remembered that the original place of the photo frame was Xue Jinhan's photo, but now it was her own photo: wearing casual clothes and canvas shoes, walking on the path with fluttering cherry blossoms, and holding... rice in her hand!

No wonder she always felt that when she was walking on the cherry blossom road leading to the cafeteria and teaching building, she always had a feeling of being spied on.

That night, she also asked Xue Jinhan the same way, and she said, "Why did you secretly take pictures of me? Why did you treat me like a stranger after that night?"

That night, Xue Jinhan didn't answer, just looked at her in silence until she felt bored and went back to the bedroom to toss and turn.

Now, with her heart hanging, she was still waiting for Xue Jinhan's answer, an answer that would give her the courage to walk by his side.

Seventeen
The waiting time is always the most painful, Cheng Moyi did not move, nor did Xue Jinhan, who was holding her behind him.

"The night before the college entrance examination, you clearly said that you liked me and wanted to be with me, why did you suddenly become so strange the next day? I didn't ask, and you never explained, flaunting with different girls. Now What? Now that you haven’t said a word of liking me, we’re together like this. What’s the reason? For nearly two years, everything you’ve done is enough to be called a boyfriend, but except Hugs, you have never kissed me, why is that? If you tell me that there is someone in your heart that you want to kiss, someone you want to marry, you can tell me, even if that person is not you, you are afraid again what?"

Quietly, Cheng Moyi said so many words in a row, raised so many questions, his voice was calm, but his delicate face was covered with cold tears.

"If I said, I have always regarded you as a partner in a game, would you hate me?" Xue Jinhan, who had been silent for a long time, finally opened his mouth, and what he said was actually like this.

Cheng Moyi's heart felt cold, he didn't move, but replied calmly: "Yes, I will hate you, but my hatred will never defeat my love for you."

"Because you did such a good job, you gave me so many good memories, even if there is a shadow behind this good, it can't erase your goodness."

"Ah Jin, a game of love must be played against the opponent. If you choose me as the opponent, you are doomed to lose. Moreover, both sides will suffer."

Cheng Moyi ignored Xue Jinhan's reaction behind him, and just talked to himself, but the tears couldn't stop flowing out.

I used to really think that I could change him, I really thought that the power of love was strong enough, but in the end, I didn't even get him to be honest with each other.

Xue Jinhan didn't speak all the time, but his arm holding Cheng Moyi was tighter and tighter.

When she woke up the next day, Cheng Moyi had disappeared, and everything that belonged to her in the room had disappeared, as if she had never appeared before.

She turned off her mobile phone, didn't contact anyone, and stayed at home for a full month.Cheng Tianmu's company is already on the right track, and he no longer needs to travel all over the world. Cheng Moyi accompanied him to the company occasionally for a few days.At that time, she was not very interested in these things. The so-called internship was just to pass the time.

Qin Ye and Xia Zhilin came back from Hainan and got engaged at home. Cheng Moyi didn't go, but just made a phone call and said that they would definitely go when they got married.

Xia Zhilin knew the pain in her heart and didn't force it.On Qin Ye's side, Xue Jinhan, the best brother, didn't go either. He just delivered two sets of high-end diving equipment from Shanghai the day after the engagement ended.Qin Ye and Xia Zhilin, who were studying at university in Hainan, fell in love with the sea unexpectedly. When they were in school, they often played snorkeling with clubs, but they always wanted a set of their own equipment. Now, Xue Jinhan helped them realize this dream.

After the sixth day of the Lunar New Year, Cheng Moyi finally made up her mind to go to Shanghai to look for Xue Jinhan for the last time. She called Xia Zhilin at the airport and vowed: "If I can't succeed this time, I will give up."

"I can't help you with this kind of thing, anyway, you must think clearly."

Eighteen
Cheng Moyi turned off his phone, and resolutely boarded the flight to Shanghai.

At the crowded Shanghai airport, Cheng Moyi didn't call Xue Jinhan, but directly stopped a taxi and reported the address.At this stage, it is the time when the KTV is overcrowded.Sitting in a taxi, she watched the flashing neon lights outside the car window, and the high-hanging red lanterns flashed by.

The driver was an older man who looked very kind. He smiled and asked, "Girl, I think you must be a student, right?"

Perhaps because he was thinking that he would see Xue Jinhan soon, Cheng Moyi was in a good mood, so he chatted with the driver.

The driver said: "You must have come here to find a boyfriend, right? You young people really know how to be romantic. People of our age have long been worn out by life."

Hearing his "boyfriend", Cheng Moyi's heart felt like yogurt full of white flowers, sour and sweet, and he didn't want to explain: Actually, we are not boyfriend and girlfriend.

How could it be?He never said anything like that.

The driver was still chattering, Cheng Moyi listened with a good temper, occasionally responding.I thought to myself that maybe driving is a very lonely thing. I have met many people, but I have nothing to say.She thought of her father, since his mother passed away, he seldom spoke. After moving to Beijing, in order to allow her to live a good life, he went out every day and was rarely at home a few times a year.

Finally, the company stabilized and the situation improved. After she went to university, she went to the opposite side of Beijing city and her home. In order not to endure the traffic jam in Beijing, she seldom went home and rarely had time to go out with her father. play.

When getting out of the car, the driver handed her two light sticks and said, "I bought these for my child, I gave you two for fun, happy new year." She smiled and said to the driver, "Thank you, happy new year. "He took the light stick and shook it.

Standing in front of the building, Cheng Moyi decided to give up the elevator and climb up floor by floor.She really wanted to feel the feeling of Xue Jinhan holding her up the fourteenth floor that day. Maybe she didn't have such good physical strength before, but now, in order to meet Xue Jinhan and to complete the purpose of this trip, she made up her mind to use the most Go up to the fourteenth floor at a fast speed.

The first few floors were okay, and people would walk occasionally, so the voice-activated lights are all good, but the further up the stairs, the darker the stairs, and the dust kicked up by her feet penetrated into the nostrils, suffocating uncomfortable.

She clenched the fluorescent stick in her hand and kept calling Xue Jinhan's name to encourage herself, but the more she went on, the less courage she had, and she began to regret her initial choice.It is obvious that I have to take the elevator for 1 minute, but I have to play tricks, I am really asking for trouble.

On the twelfth floor, even though she was wearing a down jacket, Cheng Moyi's mouth was almost frozen, and she couldn't even say Xue Jinhan's name... After running and climbing the stairs continuously, she was already panting from exhaustion, and bent down Rest on the banister of the stairs.It was as quiet as death beside her ears, but her head was still alive. She remembered the horror movies she watched before, and the stairwell was always a good place for strange things to happen. The green and red light sticks in her hand caught her eyes and scared her. I thought I saw those frightening pictures.

"Ah!!!" Unable to take it anymore, she threw away the fluorescent stick in her hand, screamed and ran away!

Nineteen
Frightened and ran up, her fist slammed the door of Xue Jinhan's house, "God bless, Xue Jinhan, please open the door quickly, don't be at home!" Just forgot to make sure that other people were at home or "Tianyu".

In the living room, Xue Jinhan was sitting cross-legged on the ground hugging Master Kang while eating bucket noodles and watching TV. He frowned dissatisfiedly when he heard the knock on the door, stood up and opened the door.

The movie was in the exciting part, he looked back and opened the door slowly.

Cheng Moyi, who was waiting outside, hugged his shoulders and couldn't stop trembling. Seeing that the door opened a crack, he didn't even dare to look back, and immediately slipped in through the crack like a fish, but he still couldn't stand still. As soon as I raised my head and covered my eyes, I screamed again, it was deafening!
Xue Jinhan closed the door very dissatisfied, and turned to watch his movie.

The screen is an extremely terrifying picture, the green-eyed mutated zombie is eating the people in the room, blood mixed with green saliva drops from between the zombie's fangs, the close-up is really clear.Xue Jinhan swallowed the instant noodles in his mouth, then turned his head to look at the screaming person in front of him, and found that it was Cheng Moyi.

"Momo..." He stretched out his hand, trying to take off her hand covering her eyes.

"Ah! Ghost! Ghost! Help!" Cheng Moyi yelled hoarsely and hid in the corner.

Xue Jinhan looked back, thinking that this girl must be afraid of horror movies, right?He turned off the TV with a smile, but Cheng Moyi was still screaming.

He walked over helplessly, carried Cheng Moyi back to the bedroom, put her on the bed, and threatened, "If you keep yelling, the people next door will come and complain about you!" Mo Yi still kept her eyes tightly closed and shouted.

Xue Jinhan lowered his head and covered Cheng Moyi's mouth with a smile. This time, her scream finally stopped and turned into a buzzing sound.

Cheng Moyi slowly opened his eyes, and what he saw was not any monsters, but Xue Jinhan's beautiful peach blossom eyes.She punched Xue Jinhan's chest, and said coquettishly: "Who told you to watch a horror movie, it scared me to death! Why are the stairs here so scary?"

"What? Don't tell me that you climbed the stairs from the first floor." Xue Jinhan fingered the hair scattered around her neck, very curious.

Cheng Moyi nodded, and said seriously: "Yes, I just want to experience the feeling when you brought me here for the first time, who knew I was so timid. The taxi driver just gave me two A light stick, one red and one green, didn't scare me to death!"

When Xue Jinhan heard this, he couldn't stop laughing, "I thought it was the movie I played that scared you."

"Originally, you said it was a big Chinese New Year. What horror movie did you watch? I was still in shock on the stairs, and when I entered your room, I was greeted by a close-up of such a big zombie. Tell me, what are your intentions?" Cheng Moyi Stretched out his fingers to poke Xue Jinhan's chest, poking and questioning with a straight face.

"Look at the place where you are lying now, you will know what my intentions are." Xue Jinhan knew that Cheng Moyi was joking with him, but he still pushed the boat along.

Cheng Moyi's face turned red instantly, and he didn't know where to put the hand that was poking Xue Jinhan's chest.

twenty
The atmosphere suddenly became a little ambiguous. Cheng Moyi turned his face to the side, trying to control himself not to look at Xue Jinhan's face. Outside the window was the twinkling neon lights of Shanghai.

Xue Jinhan looked at her pink earlobe, and there was a sound in his throat. He couldn't control the temptation, he lowered his head and gently bit Cheng Moyi's tiny red ear.Such a shy Cheng Moyi is very attractive, and Xue Jinhan is a little confused.

His kiss was icy cold, and with a trace of hesitation, it landed on Cheng Moyi's neck, face, and finally slid all the way to his chest.Cheng Moyi could feel the change in his body temperature, and also heard his shortness of breath, so he closed his eyes quietly, without refusing.

Her down jacket was removed, and her thin sweater was exposed to the warm air.Xue Jinhan's room was well heated, so he was only wearing a thin pair of pajamas and pajamas. When he was deeply in love, he suddenly stopped, turned and left irritably, and stood in front of the French windows in the living room to smoke.

Cheng Moyi was puzzled, chased him out and hugged his waist, buried his head on his generous back, and said quietly: "I don't know if I'm being mean, I just know that I love you, it's nearly two thousand Day and night, there is not a single day when I don’t think about you. Ah Jin, what’s so good about you? Everyone, smoking, drinking, gangsters... There are many people who are better than you, but I actually look down on none of them.”

She laughed, very sadly.

"You are a poison. I have persuaded myself to stay away countless times, but as long as you smile at me, I feel that all the beauty in this world is just in your eyes. But, you are so much attention. , standing in front of you, I will always be eclipsed. Falling in love with you is always more painful than happy, but I am willing to drink poisonous wine with a smile for you."

What she didn't know was that Xue Jinhan secretly wiped the corner of his eyes with the hand that held the cigarette.

Cheng Moyi said: "I want to really have you once. You used to dare not even kiss me, but today, I must completely give myself to you."

Xue Jinhan didn't speak, just took a deep puff of the cigarette and threw it away, picked up Cheng Moyi with his backhand, and strode into the bedroom.

When her clothes were removed and only her underwear was left, Xue Jinhan stopped what she was doing, narrowed her eyes and asked softly, "Momo, will you regret it?"

Cheng Moyi shook his head resolutely, and bit his lips tightly.

Yes, she has no regrets, and even now, she has never regretted even half of it, because all her emotions have disappeared, leaving only one feeling——
Drink poisoned wine with a smile.

Therefore, even if the days to come are so painful, she never thought about regretting.

That night in Shanghai, there was a heavy snowfall, and goose feathers covered everything in the world. Cheng Moyi hid in Xue Jinhan's broad arms and fell asleep, with rare warmth in the corners of his eyes and brows.

When Xue Jinhan woke up the next day, the other side of the bed was empty, and the whole room was still the same as last night, without any change. He even thought he had a dream, but the folds on the bed sheet were real. Tell him that what happened last night is not an illusion.

He got up and lifted up the quilt, and the sky blue sheet was tinged with red. Xue Jinhan stroked it, smiling, but crystal tears suddenly appeared in the corners of his eyes.

(End of this chapter)