Your warmth, my love

Chapter 69 What I miss is to say everything
"Do you mind the relationship between me and Lu Chengying, but without Lu Chengying, how could He Jiaran be here? If it weren't for Lu Chengying, I would have died in that fire a long time ago. If it wasn't for Lu Chengying, whoever brought me back to the imperial capital? If it wasn't for Lu Chengying, who would help me deal with those eager debt collectors at home? If it wasn't for Lu Chengying, I would have found a place to commit suicide by jumping off a building or went to the sea to become a young lady, how could I still stand in front of you?"

"I never thought about anything to Lu Chengying. Believe it or not, I love you in my heart and always love you. No matter what you do, I will love you. I don't know what your feelings for me are like now. But if you still have a little bit of love for me, you will respect me, whether it is personality or dignity, or my friends and family, you should respect me."

After yelling out these words in one breath, I panted heavily, Zou Moyan was silent for a long time and then gently wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes, making a promise: "I know, I will try my best to do it."

Zou Moyan is a very uncompromising person. In other words, he is a very serious and stubborn person. When he said such words, I felt a lot of comfort in my heart, but what happened yesterday did happen. , I was still afraid of this, so when Zou Moyan's hand touched my waist, I instinctively shouted, "No."

"I want to take you to drink soup. I won't do anything else, I promise." Zou Moyan swore with his hands up, turned around and opened the drawer, and threw the small bottle of pink pills into the trash can beside him, "I won't be here in the future This happened."

Seeing his reassurance, I believed him half-heartedly, and many things happened afterwards to prove that in this matter, if there is one thing, there will be two, if there is two, there will be three, if there is three, there will be four, and he is surprisingly addicted to this kind of thing.

I really didn't want to eat, so I lay down on the bed as soon as I came out of his arms, and Zou Moyan didn't force me either. He slept very late at night, probably like me, without sleep all night.

The next day I went to work as usual, and when I got there, I saw Song Li, whom I hadn’t seen for a while, sitting on her seat playing with her mobile phone. She seemed a little more haggard than before, because today she was uncharacteristically without makeup , Seeing me coming in, it was as if I hadn't seen it, and I buried my head even lower.

Lao Yu came to the office and asked me to visit him.

I followed Lao Yu to his office, his face was very ugly, and he threw the newspaper on the table in front of me, "He Jiaran, you have disappointed me so much, the code of conduct for a bank employee is that he cannot participate in private lending Come on, look what you've done!"

I stared at the photo on the newspaper. It was the photo of me and my brother and sister-in-law being taken that day. My brother was hiding behind me, and I faced the camera. Although the picture was not very clear, I could see clearly that it was me. There is a shot of the sister-in-law, and the title is also obvious. Private lending is a heinous crime, and office workers lose everything.
"Manager Yu, I didn't participate in this incident. When I arrived, the reporter also arrived and took these photos."

"I can't see whether it has anything to do with you, but you are in this photo. Do you know how much impact this has had on our unit? The personnel department has just notified that your outstanding quota this time has been rejected." Cancellation, and, you are now suspending all the business under you, and the higher-ups want to talk to you."

"What?" I grabbed the newspaper and showed it to Old Yu, "I'll just show up and take part in private lending? Wouldn't the bank investigate this matter?"

"He Jiaran, pay attention to your attitude. It is clearly written in the newspaper that you are a bank employee. Don't you have any resistance or preparations when you go to such a place?" Lao Yu patted the table , "Besides, these arrangements are decided by the higher authorities, I'm just telling you."

"Is it arranged by the superior department, or someone saw me deliberately calculating me like this, you should know it best." I held the newspaper in a ball in the palm of my hand, "Manager Yu, I don't mean to offend you, the unit is a reasonable place, right?" , I am waiting for the relevant department to come to talk to me. I have negotiated a new deal. If it goes well, we will not have to worry about tasks for the next year. I have so many clients.”

After finishing speaking, I left Lao Yu's office. In fact, I also wanted to test the truth of what Lao Yu said just now. It would be fine if I really canceled my outstanding employees. If someone makes a big fuss about it, I think that's not the only thing I can figure out.

Because when I came to work in this place, I took a big risk. If something was discovered, my career would end here.

Sure enough, someone came to talk to me in the afternoon, and it was the president.

Old Yu must have talked to the president before this, and the president said earnestly, saying that excellence will not be given this year, let me work hard, there will be opportunities in the future, I thought to myself, maybe I just saw me Those clients on my back? If I don't have anything, I'm probably packing up and getting ready to leave by now.

Looking at his smiling face, I couldn't help but think of Song Li, it must be exhausting to be a lover to such a smiling tiger.

When I thought that Song Li's frail body would at least serve the two leaders, I could only sigh leisurely.

Song Li can still survive without achievements, but I have achievements, it really depends on people's faces.

This is life, Song Li and I choose differently, and the result is also different.

It was already past lunch time when I got back to my work station. Zou Moyan called me and said that he was near our unit, and asked me if I had eaten.

I am a little afraid of him, the kind of fear emanating from my heart always inadvertently permeates my whole body.

There was no one in the office, so I took my bag and went to a nearby fast food restaurant. I ordered a rice bowl with shredded pork and green peppers. I just took a bite when a pair of shiny leather shoes stood in front of me. I looked up and saw Zou Moyan , looking at me with a frown, half a smile but not a smile.

"Is this what you call finished eating?"

I took a mouthful of rice in my throat, did I spit it out, it was uncomfortable to swallow, picked up the drink on the side and took a few sips, Zou Moyan patted my back, "Am I that scary?"

I patted my chest and smoothed my breath, "What do you mean, you suddenly appeared in front of me, and you were scared to death."

"When I called you just now, I was at the door of your unit and saw you running out in a hurry and came directly here, so I followed." Zou Moyan sat down opposite me and ordered the same lid as me. Fan, "I want this too."

"Hey, don't!" I smiled at the proprietress, "He replaced it with peppercorns, and put less salt. The soup should be spinach and egg drop soup."

The proprietress smiled knowingly, and said to Zou Moyan, "Your girlfriend is really considerate."

Zou Moyan looked at me and smiled, "If you were considerate, you wouldn't leave me alone and come here to eat by yourself."

The proprietress's hands and feet were quick, and the rice bowl was served in 10 minutes. Zou Moyan obviously didn't like this kind of public environment very much, but he didn't show the slightest dislike. He ate the dishes on the plate slowly, although his brows were wrinkled. He said it, but the words of complaint were not spoken after all.

In the past, it wasn’t that he disliked bad oil, or that it was salty, or that the environment was not good, or something like that. He is used to eating Western food, and it’s okay to eat Chinese food once in a while. He wants to eat with me every day. He will go crazy.

After dinner, Zou Moyan dragged me for a walk on the street. It's late autumn now, and I was wearing thin clothes. Zou Moyan took me into his arms. I leaned on him, but I still couldn't get warm.

"Jiajia, I know what you're afraid of." Zou Moyan put his arms around me and walked towards a park nearby. There were not many people on the road. The two of us were walking on the winding path in the park, and his hand gently rubbed Looking at my shoulder, "You have to know, no matter what I do, I regret it more than you do."

"So you hurt, I hurt even more, you can't forgive yourself, and I can't forgive myself for everything. I want to be nice to you, but I think it's too superficial and ignorant to think of thousands of ways. In front of you, I'm like A clown who has always been awkward."

I stepped on the leaves on the road, creaking, thinking about Zou Moyan's words, it is really impossible for me not to care about these things, and I slowly found my own way in the fog of love, I thought It is full of thorns. If you look closely, it is a cliff.

If you walk on the road of thorns, you will be covered with bruises, but what about the cliff?Break it to pieces!

"In the past, we were not like this. Although you are often sullen and black-bellied, most of you dote on me. I can do whatever I want. We don't have to guess each other's thoughts when we are together, but now, you let me Feel the fear, I keep thinking what you are thinking, but you don't say anything."

Zou Moyan obviously hugged me tighter, but he didn't say anything, I leaned on his chest and sighed leisurely, "It really is impossible to go back."

Zou Moyan stopped, with anger on his face: "What do you mean?"

I stretched out my hand to smooth the furrowed eyebrows between his brows, and lightly stroked his straight nose bridge to his tight thin lips with my fingers, "I don't mean anything else, I just came here, and I feel it, Mo Yan, Everything I do, everything I say, changes with my mood and situation, it doesn't make any sense, it's very simple. And what about you?"

I stared at his pitch-black eyes, and the black vortex inside seemed to drown me. Just as I opened my mouth to say the next thing, Zou Moyan held my face, and the delicate and lingering kiss fell down.

I know his, he is not emotional, but scared.

(End of this chapter)