There are ways to speak and speak skills

Chapter 17 Talking to the Opponent→Strategy of Mind Attack (2)
Wan Yanliang has been doing a lot of evil on weekdays and has long been unpopular.As soon as he sent troops, a coup took place in the country.The ministers supported Wan Yanyong, who stayed in Tokyo, as the emperor, that is, Jin Shizong.And abolished Wan Yanliang as a commoner.

But Wan Yanliang was unmoved and continued to invade south.He crossed the Yangtze River, suffered a defeat first, and then confronted the Song army in Yangzhou.Liu Qi, the head coach of the Song Army, had repeatedly defeated the Jin Army. Back then, Jin Wushu's elite troops were beaten to pieces by him, so that the Jin Army fled when they saw his banner.Liu Qi was old and frail at the time, and he was no longer as brave as before, but he was scheming after all.Knowing that Wanyan Liang was suspicious by nature, he ordered to burn all the houses outside Yangzhou city, and then painted the city wall white with lime, with the words: "Wanyan Liang died here." Then he defended the city.

Wanyan Liang approached the city, saw these words from a distance, and felt very uncomfortable.He has always been superstitious and thinks these words are very unlucky.In addition, all the houses outside the city were burned, and all the troops were ordered to camp on Guishan.

Guishan was overcrowded for a while.Someone suggested camping elsewhere, but Wan Yanliang thought of the words on the city wall, and he didn't want to camp below the city.As a result, the soldiers complained, their morale was low, and many deserted.

Soon, Wan Yanliang's general Yan Yuanyi took the opportunity to launch a mutiny and killed Wan Yanliang.His dream of dominating the world was also shattered.

Psychological tips:

Old General Liu Qi used psychological warfare.Wan Yanliang was copied from his old nest, feeling depressed and panicked, when he saw the ominous "Welcome" slogan written on the city wall, he was immediately disturbed, and the morale of the army was greatly shaken. It intensified the internal contradictions in the army, caused a rebellion within the own army, and led to his tragic death.

There are many kinds of mind-attack techniques, some are to deter and intimidate, some are to confuse their minds, but in the final analysis, it is to confuse the opponent's mind, so as to achieve the goal of making the opponent self-defeating without attacking.

Psychological pressure insight into people's hearts
In the interview for the purpose of understanding the candidate's personality, views on things, etc., in order to correctly grasp the other party's situation within a limited time, various deep psychological techniques will be used, and "oppressive interview method" is one of them. one.That is to do everything possible to ask questions that make the other party feel uncomfortable, to isolate the other party, or to force him to make a "choose one" decision. In short, he is "bullying" the other party and making him feel that he is in crisis. Watch his reaction.

A foreign TV program once invited a hundred members of Congress to go on TV, trying to probe their psychological activities.They sat in a small isolated room built in the studio, with only the front facing the outside world, wearing headphones, and fell into a "critical state" where they could neither see other people's faces nor hear voices other than the questioner.At that time, the expressions of those congressmen were really worth watching. Some even showed a ferocious look that they would never show normally, and walked away angrily.

If you want to know whether the person you met for the first time is telling the truth, and how much he cares about the topic at that time, you may wish to use the method of oppressive interviews to deliberately refute the other party's opinions.However, it is important to detect the truth of the other party, but if you offend the other party due to lack of skills, the loss outweighs the gain.If you think it's okay to cut off contact with the other party, or if you are confident that you can calm the other party's anger and restore a harmonious interpersonal relationship, then it's a different matter, otherwise you should be cautious.A similar method is to put forward harsh conditions to the other party in the negotiation in order to detect the real psychology of the other party.

During the Yuan Dynasty, Hu Jizhong, the lord of Ninghai, went out to inspect by chance, and saw a group of old women gathered in the nunnery to chant scriptures.When seeing Zhu Cheng, a woman complained that she had lost a piece of clothing, and she did not know which of the women chanting had stolen it.Hu Jizhong asked someone to bring some wheat, and asked all the women who were chanting sutras to put a few grains of wheat in their palms, and then walked around the Buddha statue with their palms together, chanting sutras as usual.Ji Zhong closed his eyes and sat on the sidelines, saying: "I ordered the gods to do the magic. If you are a clothes thief, after walking around the Buddha a few times, the wheat in your palm should sprout." All the women walked around the Buddha with their hands together, still chanting , in which a woman opened her palm several times to look at the wheat grains in her palm.Ji Zhong immediately ordered someone to tie her up, and after interrogation, she was indeed a clothes-stealing woman.

Another similar story is also very typical and interesting: when Liu Zai was the county magistrate in Taixing, a rich man's wife lost a gold ingot, and only two maids were present at that time.When the two maids were sent to the county government, they both shouted that they were wronged.Liu Zai ordered them both to take a reed stalk, and said: "It is not the person who steals the gold ingot, the reed will not grow, but the person who steals the gold ingot, the reed in his hand will grow two inches longer than it is now." One of the reed stalks in the hands of the two maids was the same length as before, and the other had been broken off by two inches.He immediately arrested the maid who broke the reed stalk and interrogated her, and she confessed.

Psychological tips:

He who steals and denies it is not foolish.The reason why they were deceived by words all of a sudden was because they lost their minds and calmness involuntarily under the high mental pressure, and did stupid things.So they were tested!

Be good at exerting psychological pressure on your opponents, and know that when a person is in a critical situation, he will show his naked self, lose the reason to cover up the appearance, and will reveal the truth unconsciously.

Tolerance is a great way to turn an enemy into a friend
Repelling opponents will not help matters at all, and if it is not done well, it will hurt both sides.On the contrary, if you hold the mentality of inclusive opponents, you may win people's hearts.If people are willing to communicate with each other sincerely, they will enhance understanding and eliminate barriers.Isn't it more conducive to your success to make others your friends and use your opponents as motivation?

Those who refuse to tolerate their opponents are really unfortunate.Under normal conditions, being tolerant of your opponent can be very effective, it will bring you happiness, friendship, and even success.

At a grand banquet, a steel merchant who competed with Carnegie in business on weekdays lashed out at Carnegie and said a lot of bad things about him.

When Carnegie arrived and stood in the crowd listening to his spiel, the man hadn't noticed it, and was still talking about Carnegie.This caused the host of the banquet to be very embarrassed. He was afraid that Carnegie would be impatient and would accuse him face to face, turning this happy scene into a battlefield of verbal warfare.

But Carnegie's expression was calm, and when the person who attacked him found Carnegie was there, he felt very embarrassed, closed his mouth with a flushed face, and was about to get out of the crowd.But Carnegie walked forward sincerely, shook hands with his former opponent affectionately, as if he hadn't heard him speak ill of him at all.

His competitor's face suddenly turned red and turned white, unable to advance or retreat.Carnegie offered him a glass of wine, giving him a chance to hide his momentary embarrassment.

The next day, the person who criticized Carnegie came to Carnegie's home in person and thanked Carnegie repeatedly.From then on, he became a good friend of Carnegie and supported each other in business.This person also often praised Carnegie, thinking that he was a great big man.All of Carnegie's friends knew how kind and kind Carnegie was, so they got closer to him and respected him.

Psychological tips:

Carnegie is indeed admirable, and he doesn't care about being insulted by his opponent. On the contrary, he shows friendship and sincerity, so that the opponent feels guilty psychologically and apologizes.In this way, the two sides not only gained communication, but also won friendship.The friendship between Carnegie and his rivals is a friendship of "no acquaintance without fighting", in which there is forgiveness, repentance, generosity of loyalty, and boldness of chivalry.

When you set up one enemy, you will not only get ten enemies, but the threat you will receive mentally will be ten times and a hundred times the threat he actually gives you.And turning an enemy into a friend can alleviate one's psychological imbalance to a certain extent.Because some words that turn enemies into friends can give you unexpected results.

"Red and White" sing together

Don't think that you can win the negotiation by greeting people with a smile, giving face and being friendly.Blindly singing red faces will make people feel that you are asking for something from him, and you are suspected of flattery.The more this is the case, the more tough and arrogant the other party will be, gaining the upper hand in the negotiation.When necessary, it is necessary to add some color to the other party and use some "white face" methods to stimulate the other party.

Of course, the so-called stimulation is not to irritate or hurt the other party, but to attract the other party's psychological attention to a certain fact, so as to pay more attention to yourself; at the same time, it also reminds the other party not to raise your own price too much.

Once, Howard Hughes, a wealthy American, negotiated with representatives of aircraft manufacturers in order to purchase a large number of aircraft.Hughes demanded that at least 34 of his 11 demands be set out in the treaty with no room for compromise, but that was kept secret from negotiating opponents.The other party disagreed, and the two sides refused to give in. During the negotiation, the conflict was fierce and smoke was everywhere, and it even developed to the point where Hughes was driven out of the negotiation venue.

Later, Hughes sent his personal representative out to continue negotiations with the other party.He told his agent that he would be satisfied as long as he could win 34 of the 11 clauses with no room for compromise.After some negotiations, the agent won several of them, including the 1 item that Hughes said was necessary.

When Hughes asked the agent in amazement how to achieve such a brilliant victory, the agent replied: "That's very simple. Whenever I can't talk to the other party, I ask the other party, what do you want?" Solve this problem with me, or should you keep this problem and wait for Howard Hughes to solve it with you? As a result, the other party accepted my request every time."

Psychological tips:

In this case, there is nothing strange about the face of Hughes and that of his personal representative, but the "combining the two into one" produces a strange and wonderful effect, which is the mystery of singing red and white face.The method of this strategy is to let the white face appear first, and he will take an aggressive offensive, make excessive demands, appear arrogant and rude, and have a rigid stance, which will make the other party upset and resentful.Then the red face appeared, he treated the other party with a gentle attitude, sincere expression, and reasonable conversation, and subtly hinted that if he could not reach an agreement with the other party and the negotiation was deadlocked, then Mr. White Face would appear again.These words will cause a kind of psychological pressure on the other party.In this case, on the one hand, the other party will not want to continue dealing with the white face, and on the other hand, they will reach an agreement with the red face because of the amiable attitude of the red face.

In fact, what is sung by white face and red face is a double reed.The double-reed strategy can free the negotiators from the state of "riding the tiger".In the negotiation, it is decided in advance that one person will take a tough attitude, and when the time is right, the partner will come forward to propose a compromise plan; finally, under the repeated persuasion of the partner, he will reluctantly agree.Of course, after the other party got this hard-won concession, they would naturally reciprocate the good guy who sang red faces.

Appreciate the opponent's heart
In real life, once some people feel hatred for someone who disagrees with them (even if it is an imaginary enemy), they will do everything possible to attack the other party until they completely defeat the other party.There are also some people who hold the mentality of "an eye for an eye, an eye for an eye". If you get punched once, you must retaliate with three punches before giving up.In this way, not only will they never be able to reconcile, but they will also increase the hatred between them, so that both sides will suffer, and finally both will die.

In order to avoid this phenomenon, we should try our best to appreciate each other's achievements and be considerate of each other instead of sowing the seeds of hatred.

The term of office of the secretary of the Congress in the United States is the same as that of the members of Congress, and is elected once a year.This year, Franklin, who ran the printing industry, was nominated for parliamentary secretary.Franklin wanted to be elected very much. Not only was this job suitable for him, but he could also get a salary. Business, can get more customers and benefits.

However, Franklin's nomination was strongly opposed by a new congressman, who made a speech criticizing Franklin for nothing. He believed that Franklin was too junior to be the best candidate for parliamentary secretary.

Facing such an unexpected opponent, Franklin began to have a headache for a while, but he still figured out a way to resolve the conflict between the two.

Franklin learned that the new senator was well-off, highly educated, and a well-known gentleman. His talents and influence would make him useful to the senators for a certain period of time, which was later confirmed to be the case.He also inquired that the new congressman had a rare book in his collection, so he wrote a note, which read: "I am glad to hear that your Excellency has a rare book in my collection. The book has aroused great interest, and I would like to borrow it to read it today, and I would be very grateful if you would lend me this book for a few days." The new congressman generously lent it to him after seeing it.

A week later, Franklin returned the book with a note in which he sincerely and enthusiastically expressed his admiration and gratitude to the new congressman.When they met next time, the new congressman said to Franklin very politely: "I am willing to serve you at any time in the future."

Soon, Franklin got his wish and was elected as the secretary of the parliament. At the same time, they became good friends, and this friendship remained until his death.

Psychological tips:

What does this incident tell us?It shows that in real life, instead of resenting revenge, confrontation, and tasteless disruption to one's opponent, opponent, and opposite, it is better to seek help from the other party cautiously and neither humble nor overbearing, so as to win the other party's favor psychologically and eliminate the past. Emotions and grudges, this is more beneficial to yourself.

Why do people look at their opponents with that kind of hatred?In this way, you will make yourself physically and mentally exhausted.Instead of this, it is better to appreciate the opponent with a friendly heart.Appreciate the opponent, and you will get unexpected gains, not only turning the opponent into a friend, but also gaining the trust and help of the opponent.

(End of this chapter)