David Copperfield

Chapter 46
Chapter 19 The Bystander (1)
When the day came to leave Dr. Strong's School, I didn't know what it was like.The years at school were lingering, and I had gained some prestige in my inner circle.Therefore, when it comes to leaving, there is always some melancholy; but there are other reasons, although not the most important, that make me sad.An independent youth always has some grand ambitions, hoping to have an impact on society-this kind of ambition always lures me out of the shackles of school, so I left without due sadness.Afterwards, I tried my best to remember how I felt during that parting, and the details of those partings, I can't trace back now.The vision of the foreground confuses me.Childhood experiences meant little to me, at least at that moment.Life to me is just a beautiful myth that has never been turned over.

My aunt and I had a detailed discussion about my future career.Over the past year or so, I've desperately wanted to give a satisfactory answer to her frequent question—"What do I want to do?" But as far as I know, I have rarely had a particular passion.If, because I have learned a little about sailing, I aspire to sail and lead a group of people to travel the world and discover new continents, then I really think that this is quite suitable for me.However, this miraculous fleet didn't come along, so my plan was to get a job without costing her too much, and to work hard, whatever the nature of the job.

Whenever we discussed the matter, Mr. Dick always entered into it with a pensive expression.He seldom offered ideas, and only once, he interjected, that I should be a coppersmith (how I got it, I don't know).My aunt didn't react to the idea.Since then, he never dared to speak out, but just sat there listening to his aunt, or counting money in a hurry.

"Tello, my dear, listen to me," my aunt said to me one pre-Christmas morning after I said goodbye to school. Think it over before making a conclusion. At the same time, you have to look at the problem from a perspective that goes beyond the student."

"Yes, Auntie."

"I have an idea," my aunt went on, "that a change of scenery and seeing the outside world will help you understand yourself more calmly and make better decisions. So how about you go on a short trip now?" For example, how about going to the old country to see—that, that weird woman with that barbaric name?" My aunt said, touching her nose, because she hated Peggotty's Surname, and she will never be able to forgive her.

"Actually, Auntie, that's the one I like the most!"

"Oh," said my aunt, "what a coincidence, I like it too. There is no doubt that your delight in it is justified. I am sure that you will be reasonable in everything you do in the future. "

"I suppose so, Auntie," I said.

"Your sister Bessie Trowood," said my aunt, "must be the most reasonable girl in the world. Don't let such a sister down, will you?"

"I just hope that I can live up to you, aunt, as long as I can do this."

"Your poor childlike mother, it's a pity that she didn't live to this day," my aunt looked at me with admiration, "If she can live to see you now, she will definitely be overjoyed (When my aunt speaks of her love for me, she invariably blames poor mother for that weakness.) Oh, Trowood! When I see you, I will Think of her!"

"I hope you feel good thinking about her," I said.

"Dick, he's just like his mother," my aunt emphasized. "When he looked at me with two eyes, he looked exactly like his mother. It reminded me immediately that his mother didn't feel special that day." The way you look when you're sad."

"Really?" asked Mr. Dick.

"He's like his father David too," said my aunt decisively.

"He's just like his father!" said Mr. Dick, too.

"But I hope you're a Troy," went on my aunt, "--not just physically, but mentally--a strong man," said the aunt, shaking the cap on her head, and With one hand clasped, "Be a man of integrity, a man of sincerity, Trol, go ahead and be driven by no one or anything but the truth - that's the man I want you to be. Your parents could have been People like that, God knows, could have had a better life."

I agree with her point of view.

"To enable you to live a little self-reliant, and to be on your own," said my aunt, "I have decided to let you go alone. I would have asked Mr. Dick to accompany you, but after much deliberation, I let him accompany me." All right."

When Mr. Dick heard this, he was rather disappointed, but when he thought of coming to take care of such a noble lady as my aunt, he felt honored again, and his face immediately became cloudy.

"Besides," said my aunt, "he has papers!"

"Oh, indeed," followed Mr. Dick, "I intend, Trowood, to have that written up at once--at once! And hand it in, as you know--hand it Go in—pass in—" Mr. Dick paused for a long while before adding, "It might be a mess!"

Soon, my aunt's plan began to be put into practice. She prepared a full wallet and a large suitcase for me, and reluctantly urged me to go on the road.At the time of parting, my aunt asked me many times and kissed me goodbye again and again, saying that since the purpose was to open my eyes, I should visit London no matter on the way to Suffolk or on the way back. , stay there for a few days.All in all, for nearly a month, I could do whatever I wanted, with nothing to do but to open my eyes and think calmly.Furthermore, I must strictly abide by the promise of writing three letters a week, and truthfully report my whereabouts to her.

My first stop was Canterbury, to bid farewell to Agnes and Mr. Wakefield (the old house where I lived in their house is still vacant for me), and at the same time to bid farewell to the kind doctor.Agnes was delighted to see me, and said her house had changed a lot since I left.

"I'm sure I haven't been the same since I left here," I said, "and I've lost my right and left hands without you. But I can't express my feelings clearly, because I have no brains." , without emotion. And it is always natural for anyone who gets acquainted with you to seek your advice and guidance."

"I think everyone who knows me doesn't spoil me." She answered me with a smile.

"No. That's because you're different. You're kind, gentle, and always right."

"You put it that way," Agnes smiled happily while busy with her sewing, "as if I were the former Miss Lakins."

"Don't do this, you take my heart as a joke, it really hurts me," I blushed thinking that I was once the slave of the blue goddess, "but no matter what, I have to tell you what's in my heart , Agnes. I'll tell you when I'm in trouble, or in love—even if I'm really in love."

"Oh, you're never careful!" Agnes said, smiling again.

"Oh, that was when I was ignorant," I said, laughing, and at the same time a little ashamed, "It's all changed now, maybe one day I will be so careful that people can't accept it. It's just why you Never been careful, Agnes?"

Agnes smiled and shook her head.

"I know you haven't!" I said, "because if you're real, you'll let me know." As I said this, she blushed a little, "but Agnes, I know Among people, there is no one who is worthy of you. If it is not a person who is outstanding and of high moral character, I will not let him fall in love with you. Therefore, I will carefully observe those who admire you and examine their Conditions, this is what I must do."

At this point, we both began to talk half-truths and half-truths, as we did when we were children, but now Agnes suddenly raised her head and stared at me, and said to me in a different tone:

"Trouud, there is one thing I've always wanted to ask you. If I don't ask now, I'm afraid I won't have the chance in the future. Besides, I can't ask anyone else this question. Don't you think my father's temperament has changed? "

I did see this, and wondered if Agnes noticed it.I am now sure that she has confessed her feelings to me, because I saw her eyes were downcast, and there seemed to be tears in them.

"You gotta tell me what's going on?" she whispered.

"I think—since I love him so much, I should be more realistic?"

"Of course," she said.

"I think, from the beginning to the end, his kind of hobby is not good for him. He can't hold his breath all the time. I hope this is my guess."

"That's not conjecture." Agnes shook her head and said.

"His hands were trembling, and his words were slurred, but his eyes gleamed wildly. Whenever this happens, someone always asks him to do something."

"Yulia," Agnes said.

"Indeed. And it's always very hard when your father is controlled by it, or when he tries so hard not to be controlled by it, and he's going to be astonishingly emaciated. Agnes, Let me tell you, one night the other day, I saw him get overwhelmed by that emotion and end up putting his head on the table and laughing like a child."

As I was talking, she gently covered my mouth with her hand.Then, she came in from the door of the house with her father on her arm, her body slightly leaning on his shoulder.When they came to me, I just thought her face was poignant and moving.Her love for her father is unquestionable, because she is grateful for his love for her.At the same time, her face suggested that I must not have any stern look on her father.She was proud of her father, and pitied him so much that she wished I had the same compassion for him.Her silence said it all.

Dr. Strong invited us to tea at his house that day.When we got to his house, we met the doctor, his young wife, and his wife's mother.The doctor solemnly held a farewell ceremony for me, and specially asked someone to put some firewood so that he could watch his old student's blushing face in the raging flames.

"After Trowood, I don't want to take any more students, Wakefield," said the Doctor, toasting his hands. "I'm getting lazy and need a comfortable life. In six months, I'm going to Say goodbye to all my students and go to a kind of seclusion."

"That's what you've been saying for ten years, Doctor," replied Mr. Wakefield.

"This time I'm serious," the Doctor went on, "my head teacher will take my place—for real this time—so you'll draw up a contract for us shortly, binding us both together. "

"Be careful," said Mr. Wakefield. "You don't want to be duped, do you?—and you'll be duped if you make the contract yourself. I'll arrange it. But in my line of business." , I haven’t received a worse mission than this.”

"I shall have nothing to worry about then," said the Doctor, smiling, "except my dictionary and Anne."

Annie sat at the tea table next to Agnes.When Mr. Wickfield's eyes turned to her, she withdrew with rare hesitation and timidity, which instead fixed his attention on her, as if his presentiments had been hinted at by her. .

"I saw a cruise ship from India," he said after a pause.

(End of this chapter)