David Copperfield

Chapter 60
Chapter 24 First Trial of the Loose Life (2)
I gradually became very happy; all sorts of things that I had almost forgotten came into my head, and I talked on and on.I laughed heartily at my own jokes, as well as others; admonishing Steerforth for refusing to pass a drink, made countless promises to go to Oxford; vowed to have a party exactly like this , once a week; madly inhaling so much smoke from Greene's snuffbox that I had to hide in the pantry and sneeze for ten minutes straight.

I kept tossing like this, passing the wine faster and faster, continuing to uncork.I propose a toast to Steerforth.I said that he was my best friend, my protector in childhood, and companion in my adulthood.I said, cheers for him; I said, I owe him a favor that I can never repay, and I adore him that I can never express.I finally said: "I propose a toast to Steerforth! God bless him!" We cheered nine times in succession, and finally drank so much that I broke the glass as I went around the table to shake his hand.I took a breath and said, "Steerforth, you have been a guiding light in my life."

I kept talking, and suddenly I noticed someone singing in the middle of a song.It was Makan who sang, "When One Gets Depressed With Troubles."When he was done, he proposed to toast "woman," and I objected.I said, that's not the upper-class attitude to propose to drink, in my house, I'm only allowed to bless the "ladies".I argued furiously with him, chiefly because I saw Steerforth and Greene laughing at me--or him--or both of us.He said one cannot be dictated to; I said that is not right.He said that one cannot be insulted by another; and I said, it is true—one is never insulted at home, where the patron saint of the home is sacred, and the lordship is supreme here .He says he thinks I'm a good man, and it doesn't hurt a person's decency.I'll raise my glass to him right away.

Someone is smoking.We all smoke.I do my best to suppress the shivers as I smoke.Steerforth delivered a speech which moved me almost to tears.I thank him, and hope that we will dine with me tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow—five o'clock every day—so that we may have long evening conversations and enjoy the company.I propose a toast to my aunt, Bessie Trowood, the best of women!

Someone leaned out of my bedroom window, put his forehead against the railing to cool off, clear his head, feel the cool wind on his face, and that was me.I called myself "Copperfield" and said, "How did you learn to smoke? You should know that you never smoked." There was a man swaying in front of the mirror to observe his appearance, and that was me.In the mirror, I was terribly pale, my eyes were blank, and my hair—and nothing but my hair—looked very drunk.

Somebody said to me, "Go to the play, Copperfield!" There was no bedroom before me, but a tinkling table full of cups; and lamps; Greene on my left, Macan on my right, Steerforth was opposite me—everyone was sitting in a cloud, so far away.Watching a play? Yes.But they are not polite, I have to send them out one by one, and then turn off the lights-in case of fire.

With the panic in the dark, the door was gone.I ran to feel among the curtains, and the door seemed to be there, and Steerforth, smiling, took my arm and led me out.One by one we went downstairs.When it was almost at the bottom of the building, someone fell and fell.Others said it was Copperfield.I was offended by that nasty report, and it was not until I found myself lying on my back in the passage that it began to dawn on me that there seemed to be some truth in it.

On that foggy night, there were some big circles around the street lamps.Someone said vaguely that it was raining.I thought it was fogging.This hat was not on my head before, and someone took it out of nowhere.Steerforth said, "How are you now, Copperfield?" and I told him, "I'm very well."

A man sitting in a window looking out through the fog asked me if I was with him, and looked (I remember glancing at him) suspiciously.Before long we were sitting on a high place in a very hot theater, looking down into a large pit, which still seemed to be smoking; the pit was crowded with people, but it was very unclear.There is also a big stage. After walking from the street just now, I think this stage is very clean and smooth.Some people on the stage were talking, but they couldn't make out.The bright lights, the music, the women in the boxes, I don't know what else, I feel like the whole building is learning to swim; when I tell them to settle down, they act weird.

Someone suggested going down to the dress box where the women were.I passed a man in a tuxedo sitting on a sofa with an opera glass, and then a large mirror that reflected his entire body.Then I was taken to a box, and I heard myself say something as I sat down, and people around me yelled "Don't make noise!" to someone, and women glared at me, and—what! — Agnes, sitting in front of me, in the same box, with a woman and a man I don't know.Now I see her face again.It was clear then, that I saw her face looking at me with an indelibly regretful wonder.

"Agnes!" I yelled vaguely. "Oh! Agnes!"

"Be quiet! Be quiet!" she answered, and I wondered what had happened. "You are in the way of the audience. Go to the play!"

I listened to her order, wanted to stand on the stage, and wanted to listen to what was said on the stage, but it didn't work.I turned to her again and saw her retreat into a corner and put her hand on her forehead.

"Agnes," I said, "I'm afraid you're not very happy."

"It's all right, it's all right, leave me alone, Trowood," she replied, "Listen, you'll be leaving in a minute?"

"I'm leaving?" I repeated.

"Yes."

I had a strange notion to reply that I would wait here to help her down the stairs.I now think I somehow made it clear, because after she had looked at me seriously for a little while, she seemed to be whispering:

"If I tell you, I sincerely beg you, I understand that you will obey me. Go away, Trowood, and for my sake, ask your friend to send you home."

Her words had such an impact on me at the time that I was angry with her but also ashamed, so I said "Ai" (meaning "Goodbye!"), got up and walked out.They followed me, and as soon as I came out of the box door, I went into my bedroom, where there was only Steerforth, and he helped me undress, and I told him that Agnes was my sister, and asked him to put the screwdriver Bring it to me so I can have another bottle of wine.

Someone was lying in my bed, dizzy all night, dreaming all the time, talking and doing contradictory things in the dream-how that bed was like a sea of ​​waves that never stood still! When the person slowly became For myself, I began to feel parched, and my skin felt like a hard board; and my tongue was like the bottom of an empty, scaled pan heated over a slow fire, and my palms were like hot irons. plate, so hot no ice can make it cold!

How sorry I was, how regretful, how ashamed I was when I understood next day! I have committed a thousand irreparable sins that I have forgotten!—I can never forget that memorable look of Agnes—because How it bothers me that I (what a brute) cannot know why she came to London or where she lives! What a nasty sight in the room where the party was held! My head hurts like it would burst! The smell of smoke !The sight of wine bottles! Impossible for me to go out or even get out of bed! Oh what a day it is!

That night, I was sitting by the fire, facing the bowl of mutton soup full of oily stars, I was repeating the old way of my previous tenant; I would not only inherit his house, but also repeat the tragic story, I really think about it Run to the Doubo and tell my sins! Then Mrs. Crupp came to my room and took away the soup bowl and brought a pork loin on a cheese plate, which she said was left over from last night's party.I would have hunkered down in her lilac apron and sincerely begged her to forgive me and say, "Oh, Mrs. Crupp, Mrs. Crupp, don't worry about those slices! I'm so distressed!"—But, I Don't know if Mrs. Crupp is someone I can trust even in that case.

(End of this chapter)