David Copperfield

Chapter 79 The Beginning of a Long Journey (1)
Chapter 32 The beginning of a long journey (1)
I loved Steerforth all the more when I was at odds with him.Sensing his faults, I think more of his strengths and benefits. He has brought a stain on an honest family. Although I feel that I am responsible, if I confront him, I cannot blame him.I will still love him so much.How he remembered me, I don't know—but I remember him like a dead friend.

Yes, Steerforth, gone forever from the stage of this biography!

It didn't take long for the city to be full of ups and downs.Therefore, when I crossed the street early the next morning, I heard people talking about it repeatedly.Most scold her, yet people have only one affection for her second father and her fiancé.Those two men walked on the beach early in the morning, and people avoided them when they saw them, stood aside in twos and threes, and talked with sympathy.

I see them.It was obvious from the way they stayed up all night.Mr. Peggotty's heads were lowered even more, but they were still serious and steady, like the sea.

"Sir, we have," said Mr. Peggotty, as I walked wordlessly with them, "having talked a great deal about what we should and should not do, and have found our way to go."

I glanced at Ham, who would have killed Steerforth if he had met him.

Mr Peggotty said: "I must go to her—that is my duty."

"I will go to London with you, sir," said he, "to-morrow, if you will."

"Ham," he went on, "he's got to work and live with my sister. And that old boat—"

"You don't want the old boat, Mr. Peggotty?" I asked.

"No, Master Wei," he replied, "that is no longer my duty, the sea is dark, and if any ship should sink, it would be it. But no, sir, I will not abandon her. I Won't!"

We walked on again, and he then explained:

"I hope that the boat, whenever she knows it, will always remain the same as she knew it to be. If she comes back, I'll make the old place look welcoming to her. Then, perhaps, when she sees no one else, she will Slip in, maybe lie down in her old bed, and get some rest."

I can't say anything.

I took one more look at Ham and touched his arm.

When I asked him what he was thinking so much about, he said:

"Think over there, Master Wei."

"Think about the current life." He pointed to the sea.

"Master Wei. I don't know what's going on, I just feel that it came from there—it seems to end like this." He still had that resolute expression on his face.

"What's the end?" I asked.

"Don't know," he said, pondering something, "from here—and then comes the end." He added, "Please don't worry about me, I'm just a little confused; I don't seem to feel anything." —That is to say, his thoughts are very confused.

Still, this memory, connected to my earlier thoughts, kept bugging me.

We went into the old boat.Mrs. Gummidge was busy preparing breakfast, and she seemed a different person.

"Danle," she said, "you've got to eat and drink and keep up your strength, and you can't do anything if you're sick. If you think I'm long-winded, just say it, Danle, it's all right."

She went on with the same attitude:

"Anytime, Dale," said Mrs. Gummidge, "I'll always be here at your disposal. Maybe you'll write to me from time to time, too, and tell me about your solitary travels!"

"You will be all alone now," said Mr. Peggotty.

"No," she answered, "it won't. You don't have to worry about me. I've got a lot to do, and take care of your house, and wait for you to come back—anyone who comes back, Dan."

Mrs. Gummidge has changed so much in a short time! Her devotion, her concern for others, I have a deep respect for her.But she is willing to do things that are beyond her ability all day long, running around for unnecessary things.She maintains the same cheerfulness in sympathy, which is also a surprising change for her.Complaints never exist.Throughout the day, I didn't hear her voice tremble, nor did I see her cry.When there were only her, myself, and Mr. Peggotty, and the latter fell asleep from over-tiredness, she let out choked-up whimpers and sobs, and said: "God bless, Master Wyatt, for the poor man Be better!" Then she hurried to wash her face so that he would see her working when he woke up.In short, when I went away, I made her share in Mr. Peggotty's sorrows.I can't stop thinking about what I learned from Mrs. Gummidge, and the new experiences she revealed to me.

Between nine and ten o'clock, as I walked through the town, I stopped at Mr. Omer's door.His daughter told me: He was depressed all day long and fell asleep without smoking.

"A vicious girl," said Mrs. Yoland. "She has no merit."

I said, "You don't think so."

"No! I am," she cried angrily.

"No." I said.

Madame Yoland, unable to control her weakness, began to weep, and this sympathy made me respect her, which was right for her.

"What's going to happen to her?" whimpered Minnie. "Where has she gone? What's going to happen to her! So cruel to her!"

"My little Minnie," said Mrs. Yoland, "has fallen asleep at last. Little Minnie has been crying for her all day, and has asked me over and over again, is Emily a villain? How shall I tell her? Love Mirri is wicked, but they love each other dearly. That child is ignorant!"

My depression can be said to be more and more painful.

Peggotty ignored her sleepless nights and stayed with her brother, and when Peggotty was unable to do the housework, I employed an old woman who was the only remaining occupant of the house besides myself.I sat for a while in front of the kitchen fire, thinking about what had happened.

Suddenly, a knock on the door brought me back from my memory.

I opened the door, and to my surprise: it was Miss Molcher.

But when she faced me, her face was very sincere.She was wringing her hands in agony, which made me feel good about her.

"Miss Molcher!" I said, looking at the empty street behind her. "Why are you here? What's the matter?"

She hurried past me into the kitchen.After closing the door, I followed with an umbrella in my hand.She sat in the shadow of the soup pot by the fire, rubbing her hands in agony.

I yelled, "Quickly, what's the matter?"

Miss Molcher folded her hands over her heart and said, "I'm very ill here. I could have prevented things from getting so bad!"

"I'm amazed to see you so sad—" I said this when she cut me off.

"Yes," she said, "these full-grown young men would be amazed to see someone like me have feelings! They treated me like a plaything, made me happy for them, kicked me away when they got bored, wondered me More feeling than a wooden horse or a doll! That's it."

"To others, maybe," I said, "but I can assure you that I am not. I know too little about you." I said what I thought without thinking .

"What can I do?" said the little woman, "what I am, and my father, and my sister, and my brother! I work hard every day for my brothers and sisters—Mr. Copperfield. I must live! People take me Just kidding, what can I do? Whose fault is it that I did that?"

Indeed it wasn't hers.

"I acted as a sensitive dwarf in front of hypocrites," the little woman said bitterly, shaking her head. "How much help and kindness do you think he will give me? If little Maucher wants to tell her misfortune For those people, when do you think her little voice will be heard by them?"

Miss Molcher sat down again and wiped her tears.

"If you have a good heart, thank God for me," she said. "I can be happy and put up with it, even though I know what I am. The favor of man. If I am a plaything in the eyes of you great men, be kind to me."

Miss Molcher stared at me and said:

"I saw you in the street. You know, I'm short and can't walk as fast as you, so I followed from behind, but the kind woman is not at home today."

"Do you know her?" I asked.

"I heard about her and about her from the Omer-Yoran Company. I went there at seven o'clock this morning. The time I saw you two at the hotel, it was Steerforth who The poor girl who arrived?"

I remembered what she had mentioned, as I had recalled it many times.

"Woe to him, and tenfold to that heinous page. I thought it was you who had childish love for her!"

"Me?" I asked.

"Childish! For what on earth," said Miss Molcher, shaking her head, "you praise her like that."

"How did I know then?" said Miss Molcher, "I knew he got in your way and lied to you. You were soft wax in his hands. His footman once said to me that 'Little Innocence' wanted to love She, she's flirtatious and likes him too, but his master wants to save—mostly for you, not her—that's what they're here for. You mention her name first, and you admit to her Old love. How can I actually think? They are afraid that I will see the truth," said Miss Molcher, holding up her short arms. A letter was sent to the poor girl, which, I am sure, caused her to stay behind to talk to Lytimus."

I was so surprised to hear these words, she walked up and down the kitchen, she just shook her head and did nothing else.

"I was wandering about," she said at last, "I came to Norwich the night before, and there I happened upon the mystery of how they deserted you, and I guessed there was something wrong, and I came here this morning, too late!"

"I should go," she stood up at last. "You don't doubt me, do you?"

I can't quite frankly say no.

"Come!" she said, holding out her hand. "If I were a woman of modest stature, I know you wouldn't suspect me."

I am deeply ashamed.

"You are young," said she, "and take a word of advice from me. Do not associate physical defects with mental defects, if not for good reason."

I said I believed in her honesty and she thanked me.

(End of this chapter)