David Copperfield

Chapter 88
Chapter 38 Break up

I stand by my resolve on parliamentary debate.For ten and sixpence I bought a book on shorthand techniques and secrets, and threw myself into training like a madman.The many changes derived from dots, circles, and many symbols disturb me from time to time. When I remember some annoying symbols, I forget others; start again, and I forget them again. Repeatedly.

It must be very sad if there is no Dora. Dora is my pillar.Within three or four months, my pencil was scribbling like crazy, and I will remember it for the rest of my life!

This is impossible.My pursuit is too high, this cannot be done.I wrote his speech silently, on Traddles's suggestion, at my own pace, stopping at any time.Almost every night after I came back from the Doctor's we had a period of this exercise in Buckingham Street.

Traddles spoke furiously.I sat not far away and tried to write it down.

We often carried on this debate till very late, when the lamps were exhausted, and by virtue of these good exercises I was gradually able to keep up with Traddles.But when I reread my notes, what I have copied is as illegible as hell!

I had to start over.It's embarrassing, I try to keep my records clear like a snail revisiting past territory, and I work on a regular basis.

One day, when I went to the doctor's college as usual, I saw Mr. Spenlow standing at the door.

Instead of saying "good morning" to me, he just stared at me blankly and invited me to a coffee shop.I followed him in panic, fearing that he had found out about Dora.

When we entered an upstairs room and saw Miss Murdstone, I knew why at once.

Mr. Spenlow closed the door, and made me sit down, while he stood on the rug in front of the fire.

"Miss Murdstone," said Mr. Spenlow, "show Mr. Copperfield what you have brought."

Miss Murdstone opened it, and drew out a love letter I had recently written to Dora.

"This must be your handwriting, Mr. Copperfield?" asked Mr. Spenlow.

I said timidly, "Yes, sir!"

Miss Murdstone produced another, and Mr Spenlow said, "You wrote that too?"

I bowed my head in shame.

When I stiffly handed the letter to Mr Spenlow, he said: "I will not take these letters back, Miss Murdstone, please go ahead!"

"I don't deny that when Miss Spenlow and David Copperfield first met, I noticed them—"

"Miss," said Mr. Spenlow, "tell me the facts!"

Murdstone said:

"I've been suspicious of Miss Spenlow and David Copperfield for some time. I didn't mention it to her father until I found the evidence."

"When I came back to Nowood after my leave," said Miss Murdstone, "the manner in which Miss Spenlow came back from seeing Miss Mills aroused my suspicions. I watched closely. with her."

"Before last night, I hadn't found evidence. I thought Miss Spenlow had too many letters from Miss Mills, but I needn't interfere."

"After tea last night," continued Murdstone, "I saw Kip in the drawing-room, biting something. I said, 'Dora, what is the dog biting? It's paper!' Miss Spenlow at once Barking and running to the dog, I said 'let me do it'.

"Miss Spenlow tried to buy me something—I wouldn't take it. I was almost bitten by a dog for taking the letter."

Mr Spenlow said: "Mr Copperfield, do you have anything to say?"

"It's all my fault," I answered, "and I have nothing to say. Dora—"

"Miss Spenlow, please," said her father.

"I was persuaded," I said, "that I should not have kept the matter secret, and I regret it."

"You have done a very undeserved and unreasonable thing, Mr. Copperfield. I bring a gentleman to my house, no matter how old he is, who is my confidence. If he abuses my confidence, he will do it. Disgraceful business, Mr Copperfield."

I replied: "It never occurred to me, Mr. Spenlow, that I loved Miss Spenlow so much—"

"Nonsense!" said Mr. Spenlow. "Don't tell me you love my daughter, Mr. Copperfield!"

"I justify my actions because I love her," I said.

I seem to see Dora weeping in panic and distress; I seem to see her in a lonely panic, pitiful; I seem to see her so sincerely begging for mercy from that hard-hearted woman; kisses, boxes, and trinkets; as if to see her suffer so many embarrassing woes, all for my sake.It took a toll on my otherwise good self-esteem, and I probably shuddered for a minute or two, which I tried my best to hide.

Mr. Spenlow said: "Have you considered your age and my daughter's age, Mr. Copperfield? Do you know my plans for her advancement, and my will?"

"Hardly," I answered, "I know my situation, we're engaged—"

"I beg you!" said Mr. Spenlow, "don't speak of an engagement, Mr. Copperfield!"

Miss Murdstone gave a contemptuous laugh.

I added: "This covert act has already begun. I have the ability to improve my situation if you give me time."

"You speak very well," said Mr. Spenlow. "You two are young. But don't mess around! Our intercourse should not extend beyond the Doctor's College."

No, love is more important than anything else, and Dora and I really love each other.My position is firm.

"Very well," said Mr. Spenlow, "I must teach my daughter a lesson."

Mr. Spenlow said: "Would you rather not have these letters back, Mr. Copperfield?"

"Yes." I said.

"You don't want it back from me?" asked Mr. Spenlow.

"Yes."

"Very well!" said Mr. Spenlow.

Then there was a silence.I finally went to the door and said maybe I should leave because of her.Then he said:

"Mr. Copperfield, my daughter is the only heir to my estate."

I replied immediately, hoping that he would not mistake me for profit-seeking.

Mr. Spenlow said: "If you were mercenary, Mr. Copperfield--it would be better for you, and better for all, if you were more prudent and less subject to the whims of youth. You know I have some Let the property go to my children."

Of course I think so.

"People's experience with the preparation of wills, you probably don't think I don't make a will?"

I agree.

"My preparations for Dora will not be allowed to be affected by the nonsense of youth. Until this nonsense is completely abandoned, I will protect her. Marriage is not allowed. Mr. Copperfield, I hope you Don't stand in the way of my important decisions."

But what can I do? I cannot give up Dora and my love.

I promised to consider his words for a week and left the room disappointed.

When I got to the office, I thought about this sudden incident and cursed Kip.I wrote to Mr. Spenlow, begging him not to punish Dora for it.

It was not until the afternoon before he left that he told me that I need not worry about his daughter's well-being.

"If you were stupid, or stubborn, Mr. Copperfield," said he, "I would send my daughter abroad for it, but I hope you will be more sensible in a few days. You should forget about it."

I wrote to Miss Mills that all I was forced to do was forget about Dora, and why on earth? I begged her to see me that evening, and I told her she alone could restore my sanity.

Miss Mills received me secretly in the back kitchen at night.

Dora also asked her to go at once.

But Miss Mills would not encourage me without possible hope.She made me suffer more, and we agreed that she should go to Dora early in the morning, and try to make her understand my fidelity and distress.We say goodbye sadly.

I am always listless.

The next day, at the gate of the office of the doctoral college, countless idlers were chatting and looking around.

The clerks didn't do anything either.

"It's dreadful, Mr. Copperfield," said old Tiffy, as I entered.

"What's the matter?"

"do not you know?"

"Mr. Spenlow is dead," said Tiffy.

I was stunned.

"died?"

"After he had dinner in town last night," said Tiffy, "he sent the coachman home early as usual."

"Humph?"

"The car arrived home, but there was no one there."

"Is the horse frightened?"

"No," Tiffy said, "maybe the rein was broken and the family found him a mile away."

"He was lying there face down and he had a stroke, although he was revived quickly."

This unexpected incident can still remind me of his voice and smile in the past. At this time, I greedily want to leave me alone in Dora's heart at this most inopportune moment.

In this disturbed mood I wrote to Miss Mills with my sincere condolences to Mr. Spenlow.And beg her to tell Dora that Mr. Spenlow had spoken to me kindly; and that he never reproached Dora.

I got a reply the next day.Dora was very sad.

Mr. John Kings also came to the office shortly after the accident.After he had a secret deal with Tiffy, he called me in.

Mr. Johnkins said: "Mr. Copperfield, Mr. Tiffey and I are sorting out the deceased's things, looking for his will, but can't find it. Come and do us a favor!"

So we started looking.

We searched as best we could, when Jokins said:

"Mr. Spenlow is a man of the past. I don't think he ever made a will."

"He did!" I said.

They both looked at me in surprise.

"The last day I saw him," I said, "he said it himself."

Both Mr. Johnkins and old Tiffy demurred.

"That seems hopeless." Tiffy said.

"It's all hopeless," said Mr. Jokins.

"I don't doubt—" I began.

"My dear Mr. Copperfield!" said Tiffy, "if you've been in the Doctor's School long enough you'll find that people are the most unreliable people in such matters."

"It can be concluded that this is a foregone conclusion," Tiffy said. "There is no will."

I don't believe it, but the truth is, there really isn't a will.According to Tiffy's estimate, the remaining inheritance is less than a thousand pounds.

During this period I suffered a lot.Little Dora, when referring to me, said only: "Poor papa!" I was also told that Dora had but two aunts, who lived in Putney, and had seen very little of them for many years.

The two aunts suggested that Dora should be taken to live in Putney.So, shortly after her father was buried, Dora took Mills and Kip with her aunts.

I tried to hang around Putney as often as I could.Miss Mills read the diary to me when she saw me, and I am grateful to her!

"Monday. Duo is still bored. Headache. Doo caresses Ji. A pang of grief. (Zhu Mi)

"Tuesday. Duo is fragile and sensitive. Pale beauty. (Zhu Mi.) Duo and Zhu Mi and Ji go for a ride in the car. Ji looks out the window and calls at the scavenger, making Duo smile.

"Wednesday. Doe was happier. I sang to her to make her happy. It was just the opposite.

"Thursday. Duo's condition improved. She slept better, her cheeks were blush, and she decided to raise her family. While playing, Duo became sad: "Julia, I was an unfilial daughter!" Comfort and caress. Duo Feeling sad again: 'Oh, what should I do? Where am I going!'" (Zhu Mi.)

"Friday. The day when something happened. Ji disappeared. Dow went mad and reported to the police. Searched everywhere, but there was no Ji. In the evening, a strange boy came. He asked for a pound for the whereabouts of a dog. Dow gave him a pound. When I found Ji. Ji was very happy when eating, but Ti Da Ke. Duo cried again, no, I don’t want my father, yes, I shouldn’t!’ Hugging Jeep and crying to sleep. (Zhu Mi.)

My only consolation at this time was Miss Mills and her diary.

(End of this chapter)