David Copperfield

Chapter 98 Family chores (1)
Chapter 44 Family Trivia (1)
The honeymoon is over and the bridesmaids have all gone home.Sitting with Dora in our little house, I felt a strange feeling: as if I were out of a job for the old job of making love.

It seemed an extraordinary thing to be able to see Dora always there.Now I don't have to go out to see her, I don't have to worry about her all day, I don't have to write to her, I don't have to try and find excuses to be alone with her.These are all very puzzling to me.At night, when I was writing something, sometimes I looked up and saw her sitting across from me, and I thought to myself, two people are alone together-no relationship with anyone else-as long as we both respect and love each other. enough.When I think of this, I feel strange.

When there was a debate in Parliament, and I had to stay out very late before I could walk home, it seemed very strange to me to think that Dora would be waiting for me at home.Dora used to come up to me softly while I was at supper, and tell me this and that.This situation, at the beginning, really struck me as a very wonderful thing.Knowing that she curls her hair with paper hairpins is something that amazes me.Witnessing that actually being done makes me feel like a very surprising event!

Of course we had a maid who ran the house for us.To this day I still believe in my heart that the maid must have been Mrs. Crupp's daughter in disguise, and how much I have suffered for having us live at the hands of this Mary Ann!

The maid's surname is "high ability".The person who introduced her to us said that her character can probably be seen from her last name.She carried a certificate of character the size of a large placard.According to this document, she will do all the chores that are necessary to live at home, whether I have heard of them or have never heard of them.She was thick-browed, with a fleshy face, and she often had a kind of rash or red bumps on her body (especially her arms).She had a cousin who was a soldier in the Praetorian Guard, and his legs were so long they looked like shadows at sunset.His army jacket was too small for him, just as he was too big for our little house.Not only that, but our house has very thin walls, so every time he comes over at night we can always hear the constant roaring from the kitchen.That way we always know it must be him again.

According to the certificate of character, we, this clown, neither drink nor lie.So when we found her under the boiler, I had to think she had shofars, and when we ran out of teaspoons we had to blame the garbageman for taking them away.

Her mental oppression on us was horrific.She makes us really feel that we are inexperienced and therefore unable to take care of ourselves.As long as she has any kindness in her heart, we are willing to depend entirely on her.But she is a woman like a tiger and wolf, without mercy at all.It was she who started my first quarrel with Dora.

"My dearest lifeblood," I said to Dora one day, "do you think Mary Ann has any sense of time?"

"What's the matter, David?" asked Dora.

"It's five o'clock, dear, and we're going to have dinner at four."

Dora looked at the clock, and said evasively that she was afraid it was going too fast.

"On the contrary," I said, looking at my watch, "it's a few minutes behind."

My petite wife ran over and sat on my lap, coaxing me to take it easy.

"Honey," I said, "don't you think you ought to say something about Mary Ann?"

"No, I'm sorry! I can't speak of her, David!" said Dora.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"I was a little goose," said Dora.

I felt that it would be impossible for Dora to try to establish any system to restrain Mary Ann, so I frowned a little.

"See what ugly lines you have on your brow!" said Dora.She pretended to be busy on my forehead so oddly that I couldn't help laughing.

Dora said: "This smile, this face is pretty."

"But, honey," I said.

"No, I beg you not!" cried Dora. "Don't be that nasty blue beard! Don't be serious!"

"My darling," I said, "sometimes it's time to get serious, and now we'll talk properly. You know, darling, it's uncomfortable to go out hungry alone, you say, yes no?"

"Yes—" replied Dora.

"Why are you trembling!"

"You're going to scold me," cried Dora.

"My sweetheart, I just want to explain the truth to you."

"But it's worse than scolding!" cried Dora. "I didn't marry you to hear you reason. If you're going to reason with a poor little thing like me, you should have done it sooner." tell me!"

I tried to comfort Dora, but she turned her face away, flung her curls from side to side, and said, "You cruel, cruel child!"

"My dear! Dora."

"Don't call me that, for you must regret marrying me, or you wouldn't be able to reason with me!" replied Dora.

Her unreasonable accusations embarrass me, so I put on a stern face.

"Well, dear," I said, "it's nothing but unreasonable things. You must remember that yesterday I was halfway through my supper, and I had to run out in a hurry. The day before yesterday, I had to I was ill after a hasty meal of veal undercooked. Today, until now, I have not had my supper. As for breakfast, I dare not mention how long we waited, and even so, the water was not there afterward. Yes. I definitely don't mean to blame you, but it's always an unpleasant situation."

"Oh, you mean, I'm an unpleasant lady!" cried Dora.

"My dear, I didn't say that!"

"You say I'm unpleasant!" said Dora.

"I'm just saying that chores are unpleasant."

"That's not quite the same thing!" cried Dora.She clearly really thought that way, and she cried so sadly.

"I don't blame you, Dora. We have a lot to learn. I just want to say that you really ought to learn to supervise Mary Ann. That is to do a little duty for you, and for me."

"I really didn't expect that you would say such ungrateful words," Dora whimpered. "A few days ago, when you wanted to eat fish, in order to surprise you, I personally ran a long way and got it. Here you are, have you forgotten?"

"That was, of course, your kindness," I said, "and I am very grateful to you. Therefore, I am ashamed to point out that the salmon was too big for two people, and, besides, I bought a fish and used it." One pound and six shillings, which we cannot afford."

"But you ate very well," whimpered Dora, "and called me a little mouse."

"But I'll do it anyway," I went on, "and a thousand times!"

But I've wounded Dora's tender heart, and she's whimpering so bitterly that I think I must have been fooled into saying something that hurt her so much. .I had something to do outside, so I had to go out in a hurry; I was busy outside until very late; that night, I felt very regretful and sad.I've always been troubled by a vague idea of ​​a heinous crime.

When I got home, it was already two or three o'clock in the middle of the night.I found my aunt sitting in my house.

"What's the matter, auntie?" I asked, startled.

"It's all right, Troy," she answered. "Sit down. Little Flower was not in a good mood just now, so I'll just stay with her for a while."

I put my head in my hands, and as I sat watching the fire, I felt an unexpected sadness and disappointment after the wish of my life had just come true.

"I promise, Auntie," said I, "that I have been troubled all night, thinking Dora was so troubled. I just wanted to have an affectionate talk of our life with her."

"You've got to be patient, Tro," she said.

"Of course. I definitely don't mean to be vexatious, Auntie!"

"Of course not," said my aunt. "You must be gentle with her."

I am sincerely grateful to my aunt for being so gentle with my wife.

"Auntie," I said, "Look, can you persuade and persuade Dora sometimes for us to get along better?"

"Tro," my aunt replied, "no! You don't want me to do that."

"I look back over my life, child," said my aunt, "and I think of some dead people with whom I might have been on better terms. If I were to blame others for their mistakes, That is probably due to my own painful experience on the same subject, and my fault is more severely to blame. But let it be. I have been a rough, eccentric, capricious old woman all these years. I It's still the way it is now, and it never will be. But we both, you've been good to each other, Troll—anyway, you've been good to me, we've been together for years, don't The two of us are at odds."

"We two are separated!" I yelled.

"Son," said my aunt, "if I interfered with your affairs, not even a prophet could tell how soon we would be separated, and how I would upset little Hua. I just want to let Don't hate me, our beloved child."

I understood at once that my aunt was right, and I understood her generous affection for my wife.

"It's just the beginning, Trollo," she went on. "It's your choice. You've got your eye on another pretty, gentle little thing. All you have to do is, you're going to Ask her for the qualities she already has, as you did when you chose her, not for the qualities she doesn't have. Where appropriate, you should also try to develop qualities she might not have. If you can't, Children, you should not force it, you have to live with the situation and live as usual. But you have to remember that your future depends only on the two of you. No one can help you, and you have to deal with it on your own ability. For Innocent children like you, that's what marriage is all about. May God bless you both when you're married, Trollo!"

After saying this, she wrapped her head in a handkerchief, as she was used to at that time, so I sent her home.

Dora ran down the stairs to meet me, since there was no one else now.She cried in my arms, and said that I was so cruel just now, and she was too naughty; and I, I admit, we made up again, and agreed that this little opinion we had for the first time , but also to be the last time.

The second kind of test we face in domestic affairs is the "servant's torment."Mary Ann's cousin deserted and hid in our coal cellar.A detachment of his own battalion, with knives and guns at their shoulders, searched him out of our coal-pit and led him away in handcuffs, to our astonishment and our front yard humiliated.This kind of thing made me decide to fire Mary Ann, and I was a little surprised that she got paid and went away honestly.It was later discovered that our teaspoon was lost, and at the same time, she had borrowed a few small sums of money from people in my name without authorization.After we employed Mrs. Gibbie for a time—but too old and feeble to do her work—we found another treasure, and she was the sweetest and most docile woman, but she When carrying the tea tray up and down the kitchen stairs, I would always fall, and plunge into the living room with the teacup like diving.The loss this unfortunate woman has caused us necessitates her dismissal.When she was gone, we hired a bunch of guys who couldn't do anything.The last escort was a respectable young woman, and since she was gone I don't remember anything but a general failure.

Everyone we associate with seems to be trying to deceive us.As soon as we show up at the store, it's like giving the store a signal to take out the broken things quickly.If we buy a lobster, it must be full of water.The meat we buy is never weighed.The bread we buy never has a crust.In order to study how to roast the meat so that it is neither too old nor tender, I also checked the cookbook myself, which stipulates that each pound of meat should be roasted for 15 minutes, and if I want to have more time, it will take more than a quarter of an hour.But we baked on that stipulation and always failed, as if we were doomed to fail.So the meat we roast is either charred or bloodshot, and there is never a perfect balance between the two.

It costs us a lot more money to always fail like this than if we always succeed.I looked at the peddler's bill and I figured we used enough butter to fill a basement.I don't know if the national tax returns show an increase in the sale of peppercorns during this period, but if our use doesn't have an effect on the market, then I'd say some households must have stopped using pepper up.The strangest thing in all these cases is that we have bought so many things on our account that we never had any in our house.

(End of this chapter)