Harem Changwu Biography

Chapter 103

People without thought, he must worry about.

This sentence was told to me by my grandmother when I was young.

But at that time, because of my young age, I didn't understand the meaning of this sentence until I had unreasonable thoughts about Mingqi.

After thinking about Mingqi that I shouldn't have, I knew that Mingqi and I, one of us is the emperor and the other is the empress dowager. Our identities are so different that it is doomed that as long as the two of us live for a day, there will be no relationship between us. possible.

So from then on, I started to plan for the future, and I started to think, Mingqi and I, what should we do to make it possible for us to be together.

At that time, what I thought at the beginning was unless we were no longer the emperor and queen mother.

But obviously, Mingqi couldn't be the emperor.

And even if Mingqi is no longer the emperor, as long as I am still the queen mother, it will still be impossible between us.After all, it is impossible for the queen mother to have any man other than the first emperor, and it has nothing to do with whether Mingqi is the emperor or not.

So after much thinking, I finally came to the conclusion that if I really want to be with Mingqi, then there is only one possibility: unless I am no longer the Queen Mother.

It's just that I'm no longer the empress dowager. It's easy to say, but it's too difficult to do. After all, I am the empress dowager who was proclaimed by the emperor's imperial decree.

And even if I do something that can dethrone my Queen Mother, it won't change anything.

Because as long as I am still alive, as long as I am still Qiu Changwu, the fact that I am the Empress Dowager will be deeply imprinted on me, and it cannot be changed in my life.

After all the above, there is only one possibility for me to be with Mingqi in the end: I am no longer alive, or let Qiu Changwu 'die' in the eyes of others.

I chose the latter.

I am a person who is greedy for life. I said before that as long as people live, they are better than anything else.

And if I'm really dead, then it's really impossible to play Mingqi.

It's just that "I die in the eyes of others" is not easy to do, and you have to think of a complete plan.

Furthermore, because Aunt Lu in the Qiu Mansion had to be taken into consideration, and the days when she was reluctant to be with Mingqi, from the time when she felt wrong about Mingqi to the year when Mingqi accepted the concubine's administration, this matter only continued. In the preliminary planning, I did not make actual actions.

The first time I wanted to implement this idea was the day Mingqi asked me how I looked.

But at that time, my thinking was no longer to change my identity and come back to Mingqi again, but to think, since Mingqi has someone else in his heart, it would be useless for me to change my identity and return to the palace.

What I want has never been Ming Qi's concubine on the bright side, but the position of Ming Qi's heart.

So instead of letting me return to Mingqi as an ordinary concubine of Mingqi's harem, it is better to let me take this opportunity to leave.

After all, in the past few years, my queen mother has never been happy.

It's just that even though I thought about it at that time, I still hesitated in my heart.

The reason is that my father Qiulu will be unfavorable to Aunt Lu after I die, and the second reason is that I am reluctant to play Mingqi.

At that time, I knew very well that as long as I really left, I would never see Mingqi again in the future.

And although I am sad because of Mingqi's happy heart, even though I want to stay away from Mingqi, but I still can't bear to part with Mingqi. As long as I think that I will never see Mingqi again in the future, I will feel reluctant to let go. I hesitated.

Since then, I have been hesitant. When I saw how Mingqi favored Changruo day by day, I felt more and more sad, and the idea of ​​leaving became stronger day by day.

And the arrival of Meng Qingcheng later made me take practical action for the first time in thinking about leaving the palace.

I don't know how Meng Qingcheng knew that I wanted to leave the palace. After all, I've never told anyone about it, not even my most trusted Qi He and Fang Hao.

So when I heard Meng Qingcheng say that he could help me, I was not insignificant at the time, and I was even on guard against Meng Qingcheng in the first moment.

Meng Qingcheng also saw my defensiveness at the time, but he didn't explain anything to me, but gave me a medicine.

Meng Qingcheng told me that as long as I took the medicine, my health would get worse and worse, and finally he faked his death certificate.

And because this medicine is not acute, it takes effect slowly over a long period of time, so it will not arouse suspicion.

Meng Qingcheng also said, be prepared, although I haven't made up my mind to leave, but I can first leave the impression that I am not in good health.

In this way, when I decide to leave in the future, the "death of illness" will be more logical, and it will not be less likely to arouse Mingqi's suspicion.

At that time, although I was wary of Meng Qingcheng, I didn't realize his malice towards me, so I finally decided to trust him, and after he left, I drank the medicine he gave me.

And this is why after Meng Qingcheng left, I would immediately get 'sick' for the first time.

It's also the reason why my body has become more and more 'poor' since that illness, and why I always get tired easily from the looks of outsiders.

However, although I believed in Meng Qingcheng temporarily at that time, I had no contact with him on weekdays, and for the sake of confidentiality, we rarely even contacted through intermediaries.

And this is why when I saw Mingqi misunderstood me and Meng Qingcheng, I felt strange, and even thought that Mingqi had seen something.

After that, I tried Mingqi a few times, and I didn't feel relieved until I was sure that Mingqi didn't see Meng Qingcheng helping me.

The second time I took the medicine was after worshiping Chu Bufan.

Before Mingqi misunderstood the matter between me and Meng Qingcheng, and what Mingqi did to me in the carriage returning to the palace, it really made me mind.

I was thinking at that time, whether Mingqi has me in his heart or not, it is necessary for me to leave the palace.

If Mingqi has me in his heart, then I will just die and come back with another identity; if he doesn't have me in his heart, then I will take this opportunity to leave.

So after coming back that time, I used the medicine for the second time.

Meng Qingcheng and I planned everything very well, but we didn't want to count Zhang Zaitang by mistake during the period.

Whether it's me or Meng Qingcheng, when we saw the cause and condition of Zhang Zaitang's diagnosis and treatment, we all thought that Zhang Zaitang couldn't see the real cause of my body.None of us thought that Zhang Zaitang would see the clue at the last glance.

And this is why I was surprised when I heard Fang Hao say that Zhang Zaitang was researching the medicine.

So from then on, I was thinking about how to deal with Zhang Zaitang.

Originally, according to Meng Qingcheng's intention, Zhang Zaitang's life was to be taken directly.

But I still read that sentence: life is hope, and I still respect life after all.

So in the end I just sent someone to kidnap Zhang Zaitang and strictly controlled him.

After Zhang Zaitang disappeared, Mingqi sent people to search Zhang Zaitang's whereabouts inside and outside the palace.

However, whether it is Mingqi or others, they have forgotten that when they carefully searched all the places inside and outside the palace, there are two places that they will not find. The first one is Mingqi's Cheng Ming. Hall, and the second is my Changwu Hall.

As for Zhang Zaitang, I sent people to hide in my Changwu Palace at that time. It was not until after I 'died' that Meng Qingcheng sent people to take him out of the palace, and then hid him in Meng Qingcheng's Chang Yinghou's mansion.

In the past three years, we first found an opportunity to send away Zhang Zaitang’s family the year before last, and today, I sent Zhang Zaitang away again during the day.

After one year in the palace and three years with Chang Yinghou, Zhang Zaitang was already convinced by me that he would not tell the story of my suspended animation, and he voluntarily took the control medicine given by Meng Qingcheng.

The third time I took medicine was after I found out that Aunt Lu had died.

This is also my last medication.

As I said before, there are two reasons for me to stay in the palace: the safety of Aunt Lu, and my reluctance to play Mingqi.

Therefore, after I took the medicine for the second time, I was reluctant to take the medicine for the third time.

But the news of Aunt Lu's death broke the last straw in my heart.

Especially when I was sad because of the death of Aunt Lu outside the palace, what I saw when I returned to the palace was Mingqi and Changruo talking and laughing, and what I saw was Mingqi giving Changruo a fox Xiaozi rear.

At that moment, I finally lost my last attachment to this palace.He also lost the last trust in Mingqi.

So no matter how Mingqi proved that he had me in his heart, I never dared to stay and insisted on leaving the palace. In the eyes of Mingqi and Qihe Fangxuan, I was determined to die.

But I was not reconciled, so before I left the palace, I deliberately used Mingqi's hand to force Chang Ruo to drink the baby-killing medicine, to kill Chang Ruo's hope of becoming a queen, and to kill the Qiu family's intentions.Afterwards, Li Wan was specially promoted, in order to stop Chang Ruo from trying to gain power in the harem.

As for this matter and the later use of the body to confuse Mingqi, which caused Mingqi to hate me at the end, it was actually my intention.

There are two reasons. One is that I still refuse to believe that Mingqi has me in his heart.

I was thinking at the time, if Mingqi didn't have me in his heart, then I would be forgotten by him soon.

And this is not what I want.

Although I am determined to leave the palace and never dare to go back to the palace, I still don't want Mingqi to forget me.

So, what I have to do is to make Mingqi hate me.

Because apart from love, what can make someone remember another deeply is hate.

Secondly, even if Mingqi really has me in his heart, it will make him feel better if he hates me than when he misses me after I leave.

In this way, when he thinks of me in the future, because he hates me again in his memory, then he won't be so sad.

How about it?Am I so contradictory?
I don't want Mingqi to forget me, and I don't want Mingqi to be too sad when I think of me. If this is the case, and what I do, does it make you feel strange?
Actually, not only you, even Meng Qingcheng said it.

Meng Qingcheng said, the way I made Mingqi hate me was like killing 8000 enemies and damaging myself by more than [-]. It was not done by smart people.

It's just that I'm not a smart person in the first place, I only do things according to my heart.And I let Mingqi hate me, not only to prevent him from being sad, but also to prevent myself from returning to the palace because I miss Mingqi too much in the future.

As for Mingqi's hatred for me, it can make me dispel the urge to go back to the palace to find Mingqi.Because in the future, as long as I think of Mingqi hating me, I won't dare to go back to the palace.

(End of this chapter)