You are the april day of the world

Chapter 14 Fiction (9)
After the illness, Xiuxiu's flexible face lost all color, and looked even more gentle, almost super-clean, as beautiful as a child god in a painting, and her voice was very fragile and melodious, which made people feel affectionate. .But later on I often think of God’s unkind mercy, mistreating such a beautiful, sensitive, and lovable child in such an environment, and the child who apparently has both parents is so lonely and lonely, making her even more lonely than losing her parents attached to.At that time, apart from giving her a little childhood friendship and being a short-term playmate, I had no other ability to help the child struggle with her fate.

Her father had visited them there to see her when she was sick, and stayed for a very short time.But because he couldn't bear the accumulated complaints from Xiuxiu's mother, he reprimanded their mother and daughter angrily and cruelly.Resentful, he left a little money and left by himself, declaring that he would never see them again.

I know that Xiuxiu privately hoped and hoped that her father would visit them, but each time the result was unsatisfactory beyond her child's plan.It made her miserable.This time she couldn't bear it anymore, and she boldly complained to her mother: "Mom, it's because of you making trouble like this, so father is gone, and he will never come again tomorrow!" Bitterly complaining about her father.She once told me softly: "Daddy is too cruel. Although my mother has a temper, she is really bitter. She is sick. You know that she gave birth to six children, and I am the only one left. , she often cries for her dead child alone at night, she always does work during the day, her appearance is very different from now; her temper is also very good.” But although Xiuxiu told me—her friend—her Grandma Xu only heard Xiuxiu complaining about her mood and sympathy for her mother for a while, so she took advantage of it, exaggerated her grievances, cried and abused her daughter.

That day, someone in the Zhang family was overwhelmed by what they heard, and went in to interfere. This touched Grandma Xu's Shestarlia's temper even more, and she simply sat on the ground in anger, gritted her teeth and beat her chest fiercely. cry.When I also got the news and went to see them, Xiuxiu had cried until her eyes were red and swollen, curled up in a corner of the bed and twitched like a poor lost child.Some neighbors on the left and right were curious and went in to see them.I heard the people who came out talking about them and said: "Uncle Xu gave birth to a boy last month. A few days ago, I made several tables for the child's full moon. Grandma Xu was so angry that she didn't have a good meal for a few days. Today, Uncle Later, I told her again that she had a meal with Xiuxiu, and she hated it even more, wishing to go all out with that new person! Coincidentally, Xiuxiu was still protecting her father, but she blamed her mother. Think about it, she would go crazy, Take the child out to vent your anger?" I also heard some people complaining about injustice, and some people said:
"It's all a sinful debt. That child, what did they deserve in the previous life? It's so pitiful, at such a young age, she stays next to each other all day long. Do you think she won't die from this illness? Isn't this what they deserve? Haven't you paid it off?"

Xiuxiu's environment is getting worse day by day, indeed it seems that there is a bad debt, her mother's irritability has increased more rapidly than before, although she has not effectively maintained and adjusted Xiuxiu's illness, because she is worried about her daughter's body. The facts only increased her debilitating symptoms and made her a very excitable woman.For the slightest thing, she had to scold Xiuxiu furiously.There were times when the child was beaten for no reason at all.Upstairs, the Zhang family was very troublesome and often interfered, which caused many unpleasant quarrels, and brought even more inconvenience and embarrassment to Peace's embroidery.

I don't think I'm superstitious anymore, but people say that Xiuxiu seems to come to repay the debt, but it is deeply imprinted in my mind, making me think about it again and again, and it doesn't make me get rid of the reincarnation of retribution implied there. said.Children who have read Strange Tales from a Liaozhai Studio and Journey to the West already have many absurd fantasies in their minds, and superstitious words will naturally have a considerable impact after listening to them.Not long after that, I secretly talked with Xiuxiu about the supernatural powers of Guanyin Bodhisattva.The two of them drew the image of Liuzhi Guanyin behind their backs and put it in the book, and often made some funny worships to the west in the backyard, or burned a few sticks of mosquito coils at home.I also taught Xiuxiu to temporarily recite "Amitabha, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva" in secret, telling her that she can be relieved of sudden disasters.Sick, thin, white and docile, cute and lovely Xiu Xiu, so she often hangs her eyes innocently, letting the long eyelashes cover her face beautifully, and clasping her small palms, muttering reverently to the legend that can save suffering. The Avalokitesvara prays for the extravagant wishes of some little children.

"But, little sister, what about Jesus?" One day she suddenly felt that the question of the gods she trusted was a bit strange. A child-like sample is contradictory.

"By the way, there is Jesus!" I was stunned, unable to give her a reasonable answer.

Since there is a problem with the gods themselves, the theory that the gods are just and merciful is also shaken.But a lonely child wandering about without his parents obviously needs a master who can be converted to, so as far as I know, later on, Avalokitesvara and Jesus were solemnly worshiped in Xiuxiu's heart at the same time!
The days gradually passed, the sky cooled down, and Xiuxiu was ordered to go to a nearby small shop to buy sundries. Her thin back was swaying in the cool morning breeze, not as lively as in early summer.Seeing people always shy and not saying anything, apart from coming to ask me to go out on the street together, they don't often come to our place to play.

Suddenly one morning, there was an unusually tense sound from downstairs in the Zhang family. Grandma Xu was cursing, complaining, and panting angrily while crying. accent.Things are clearly serious.Using my identity as a child, I rushed over to find Xiuxiu.There is a fancy family car parked in front of the Zhang family building, the door of Grandma Xu's room is left open, all the servants in the Zhang family building, the cooks, the handyman, and the old mother are walking back and forth in the aisle, listening curiously. lively.The order in the house was even more chaotic than usual. The freshly bought meat stood upright on the lotus leaves, and a bunch of vegetables withered like a handful of grass were placed on the edge of the table, giving off the unique smell of the stove or the vegetable market. Chopsticks, used and unused, are all placed by the side of a water basin.The month plate of Beauty brand cigarettes on the wall has been touched and hung crookedly.Strangest of all was the cigar-smoking atmosphere that had never been in the room.Uncle Xu is sitting on the wooden bed to the east.Frowning tightly, with an angry face, with a cigarette in her mouth, she smoked calmly, Grandma Xu was pressed on an old wicker chair by an old woman and an old woman with small feet in the neighborhood, and wept intermittently. with.

When I entered the door, Xiuxiu was also holding the hand of Mrs. Zhang from upstairs. Seeing that my head was lowered, tears were obviously pouring out, so she wiped the red and swollen eyelids with the back of her hand.

Grandma Xu complained sharply when she saw someone coming in.She turned upstairs to Mrs. Zhang: "Third grandma, listen to the unreasonable things our uncle said! I have half my life, and I can't let them kill me for nothing! I have survived for more than 20 years, and now Throwing me out like this? People have to have a reason! I came to his house when I was 17 years old, and my parents-in-law didn’t suffer from it. I have endured..."

Mrs. Zhang looked at Uncle Xu, and Xiuxiu also looked at her father with wide eyes. Uncle just smoked a cigarette and kept silent coldly.Then he stood up suddenly, pointed at Xiuxiu's face, made a strong gesture angrily and said, "I tell you, don't talk so much nonsense, no matter what, you must take out the land deeds at home and return them to me today. How unreasonable! It's so absurd! The land title deed of the old family is also under your control, what's the point of this!"

The couple then had a lot of rebuttals; the grandma complained that her husband had abandoned her, kept her money, ignored her old relationship, had another love, didn't care about her life with the child, and wasted with that woman outside.The uncle said that his wife is ignorant of the general principles and can't be a human being. He has no way to improve her, so he can only marry another woman who can docile him and live another life. He firmly refuses to admit that there is any abuse of grandma.When it came to the title deed, the two argued based on their own reasons. One said that it should be the basis for her to live in old age, and the other said that the ancestral family property could not be allocated by her.During the stalemate until lunch time, the uncle's attitude became more and more tough, but the grandmother was panting, from crying frantically to sobbing helplessly.Others have gradually withdrawn.

Until I was urged by my family to go back to eat, Xiuxiu just sat silently in the corner, hopelessly accompanied by two parents who hated each other, and listened to Mrs. Zhang's sober and fair words upstairs, Especially about the place where you embroider yourself.The main point of what Mrs. Zhang said was that the couple should look at the embroidery and not be too stubborn.She said: "The child has been very sick recently." She also said: "Grandma wants to save a little because she is thinking about the future. A girl will have to get married when she grows up. You have to prepare for her." Said: "I think Xiuxiu is very smart, so she won't go to school next season, and she should go to study some books in the spring." She then suggested to the uncle: "I think in the future, the uncle will raise some tuition fees for Xiuxiu every month. Young girls can't stay out of school and do chores at home."

The good words of these middlemen seemed to become an irritation to the ears of the two angry people. When the grandma heard it, she just sneered: "I have a son, why do I care about my daughter!" Just give her the tuition fee, and her stingy mother might not send her to study?" The grandma felt even more wronged, "Is it because I don't let her study? Didn't you say: Girls don't need to study so many books? ?”

In any case, those two were stubbornly prejudiced, and they were eager to vent their hatred for each other. Neither of them had the heart to use reason to find a way to resolve their disputes, let alone worry about everything about Xiuxiu.At that time, I hated Xiuxiu's parents so much, I wished I could reason with them, pour out all the injustices I had seen, and make them wake up, and even make them repent, but I always blamed myself They are too young, their situation is too serious, they can't afford strength, and they restrain themselves cowardly.But when I gritted my teeth and hated them, I accidentally turned around and saw my little friend sitting there, eyes helplessly turned to one side, staring aimlessly, which suddenly gave me a very strange feeling.I realized that the two hateful and hateful people who seemed to me undoubtedly at this moment were the gentle and peaceful parents.I understand that even Xiuxiu hates them a little at the moment, but in Xiuxiu's gentle heart, there is still an unbelievable deep love for these two people!
I went home to eat in a daze, and before everyone dispersed after dinner, I slipped back downstairs to Zhang's house.Unexpectedly this time, there was silence in front of the embroidery room.The wind was blowing very hard outside, leaves and dust rolled through the corridor, I gently pushed the door and went in, the situation inside the room made me so surprised that I almost cried out!All the things that were placed on the wooden shelf on the table just now were smashed together and scattered on the ground... The uncle and the grandmother are obviously not there anymore, there is neither sobs nor heavy angry reprimands in the room, so All that was left was a pale embroidered body, holding shattered hopes and infinite sadness, sitting beside the old lady.The scent of cigar smoke still hung sweetly over this bleak and comical scene.

"Xiuxiu, what's the matter?" Xiuxiu's eyes turned red, and she barely emphasized her choked voice: "Mom won't give that—the land deed, and father will throw things when he gets angry. Later...they will fight When I got up, the aunt next door persuaded me, and my father left angrily...Mom asked them to carry them upstairs to the 'three aunts'."

The mother with little feet started to pick up the debris on the ground with a broom.

Suddenly, in the midst of the chaos, I saw some remnants of Huaciware, and I hurriedly pulled Xiuxiu and the two together to inspect them.

"Xiuxiu!" I yelled, "Aren't these two small magnetic bowls of yours? Did your father smash them?"

Xiuxiu nodded tearfully, but did not agree, the burden of two cloud-like clusters of flowers and porcelain and the scenery of early summer drifted past my heart again, I held Xiuxiu's hand, and remained silent.The autumn wind outside shook the broken shutters in front of the building, and the two of them watched the little-footed old woman put the beautiful corpse into an old dustpan with the fragments of other teapots and thick bowls, and the leftovers of tea, and buried it among the dust.

Many disputes in this world confuse our children's hearts - that year I was [-], and I was [-].

Finally, in the winter of that year, Xiu Xiu's confusion ended in an early morning when the snow first fell.The river behind Zhang's building is frozen with thin ice, and at noon the sun shines on it pale through the layers of fog. Xiu Xiu no longer needs to shrink her neck, and walks along that road, facing the cold wind to get there went!Unintentionally, she left her confusion in my heart, drifting between the small shop in front of the Zhangjialou until today.

Published in the 1937th issue of "Ta Kung Pao Literary Supplement" on April 4, 18

(End of this chapter)