You are the april day of the world

Chapter 3 Prose (3)
In fact, he is just more serious than us, devout to foolish, to crazy!When he is happy, his happy wings can touch the sky; when he is sad, his sorrow is bottomless.The weight of ordinary evaluation is useless in his hands. He has his own opinion on the pros and cons. It is purely artistic emotion that deviates from ordinary principles, so people often hear friends talking about him with a sigh. Said: "That's Zhimo, what can you do!" Is he really a weirdo?Friends, no, not at all, he is just closer than us, closer to reason, more enthusiastic than us, more innocent than us, more confident in everything than us, in God, in people, in spirit, in nature, in art !
Friends, what we have lost is not only a friend and a poet, but also a very rare and lovely personality.

As for his works are all lyrical?Are his interests limited to emotions?It's even more wrong.Zhimo's interests are extremely broad.There are only a few of them. Speaking of which, people who don't know him will be surprised.He loved mathematics very much in his early years, and he has always been very fond of astronomy. He knows a lot of the names and locations of the stars in the sky, and he likes stargazing at summer nights the most.He once translated Einstein's Theory of Relativity, and in [-] he wrote an article on the Theory of Relativity which was published in the magazine Mindor.

He often joked to Sicheng: "Mr. Ren's knowledge of the theory of relativity was obtained from my masterpiece Xu Jun Zhimo, because he said that he had read many philosophies about Einstein but never understood them. I understand that article." This summer I was recuperating in Xiangshan, he often came to chat, one day he talked about his childhood schooling and the two years of studying economics at Clark University in the United States, and we couldn't help laughing at each other for a long time. There is also such a paragraph in the "Preface" of his "Tiger Collection".But strange!Unlike many geniuses, he went to school when he was young, and he either failed or was repelled. He often got honors. I heard that once a very strict economics professor at Cornell Summer School wrote a letter to teach at Clark University. There flattered his students about a difficult subject.I'm not exaggerating here for Zhimo, because in fact, only because of this incident, Zhimo himself laughed so hard this summer!
In addition, his interest in drama and painting is very deep. Needless to say, drama is so close to poetry. He is also very familiar with those from the Renaissance era, and he loves Boticelli and Da Wenqian the most.Naturally, he also often admits that literati's favorite paintings are often indirectly influenced by other people's papers, and his works are greatly influenced by Roger Fry and Walter Pater.Regarding architectural aesthetics, he often apologized to Sicheng and me, saying, "I'm so sorry, my architectural common sense is all Ruskins." He knew that we hated Ruskins the most.But to see a remnant of an ancient building, a piece of stone carving, he is more enthusiastic than anyone else, and he can appreciate it more quietly.

He likes colors, even though he doesn’t know how to paint. During the summer vacation, he sent me a few letters from Hangzhou. He called them “Watercolor Paintings of Descriptiveness”. He carefully observed every color of light green and light yellow.Another time he looked at the broken wall in my garden and remained silent for a while. Later, he told me that he was silently experiencing it, and wanted to describe the sunset sun on the wall and the vines that had just entered autumn.

As for music, he is interested in both Chinese and Western music, not only. His enthusiasm has awakened Beijing's attention to music once—maybe the only time.No one can forget that year, when Klassla went to Beijing to play the violin at the "True Light" for more than an hour.He must also be considered "good at" old dramas. During his last few days in Beijing, we went to listen to several plays together one after another. When we returned home, we discussed lively, more sincere and energetic than any drama review.

Who would have believed that such a person, such a person who is so loyal to "life", would leave us so early and be thrown into another world forever, where he would remain silent forever without making a sound!
I dare not write any further. If Zhimo had the spirit, wouldn’t he feel displeased to hear a kid much younger than him talk about his behavior in an old-fashioned tone?Here I have another extremely embarrassing memory, that year he wrote the article on the tragic death of my father in the same newspaper, this dreamlike life turned a few corners, once upon a time, it was my turn Hold on to his tragedy in this windy night.What kind of life is this?What storm?what road?Zhimo, your last relief is not happiness, not cleverness, I should envy you.

published in
On December 1931, 12, "Peking Morning Post", page 7, "Peking Academy Mourning Shima Special Issue"

Shanxi Communication
××××:

Actually in Shanxi, the sky is transparent blue, and the white clouds are so flowing that people can forget many things, just under a little emotion, drifting around; not to mention the mountains, rivers, small forts, villages, reflecting the setting sun A corner of the temple, a tower!The scenery is so beautiful that it makes people flustered and heartbroken.

I've never been out before, and it's not easy to move before I leave, but after I walk out, I don't know how to wander.In ten days, all you see are pictures, and the days are all ancient things that can be sung.In the dark night, in the mountain field, I watched craftsmen from Henan and Shanxi surround a big red stove to forge iron, and the sparks and clanging sounds scattered into the surrounding shadows.Walking to find the abandoned temple in Tianlong in the midst of a small moon, I drew a "light" to secretly look after the face of Guanyin, all peaceful.For hundreds of years, those who have not been emotional, seem to have a smile under that flash of light.

We have traveled a lot because of visiting ancient sites; under various circumstances, we feel the ups and downs of the past and the present.Reading inscriptions in the grass, encountering Bodhisattva's hands and smiling in the middle of bricks by chance, can all arouse some unusual feelings.Various romantic locations in the countryside are beautiful and innocent: the characters in the middle maintain honest and bright colors, the old one is holding a cane, and the young one is bare-chested. All along the road are dotted with their bright eyes and smiling faces.We who came from the city of Peiping looked east and walked west, with the setting sun on our backs, it was like falling into another world!The clouds, the sky, and everything between us seemed to be lost.When I am happy, I laugh happily, and the laughter spreads all the way to the river and the mountain, maybe in some forest or village!I feel a kind of flatness, perhaps vastness, stretching out just parallel to the ground, and the edge of the feeling, and the edge of the earth, are always stretching forward...

I don't know how to say it, and it's just a bunch of crazy talk, and people are impatient to listen to it.I’m not very good at describing some actual situations. In short, in the distance, there are people working in a field with green, yellow, purple, and branches growing on it; on every hillside, people are walking, herding sheep, Facing the sun and backing the sun, it casts rotating light and shadows; every small town has a tower standing in front of it, a small temple sleeping next to it, and a stone pagoda stands there. That corner of the world, near the ground, is even more lively. A street is full of people, children with three braids on their heads, four braids, or even five or six braids, and their clothes are so simple. There was only one red douche left, vaguely embroidered with two or three flowers picked by her mother!
Under the shade of the trees in front of the Niangniang Temple, who can you stop from watching the excitement?The teacher came out, the soldiers in the army came over with their horses, and several women held hands shyly, and they also twisted and stood aside. The children scrambled to squeeze each other, watching us take pictures, and measuring the plane with a tape measure. The teacher helped We rubbed the inscription.Speaking of this and that temple, there are many years, no one can tell when it was built!There are too many people talking, and our work is really difficult, but we are all very happy. The children are holding their rice bowls and eating, while watching with wide eyes, and they don't let up at all.

When we leave, people from the whole village always come to give them to us, and the daughter-in-law points out to the old woman, and the children have to keep up for a while while running.Kaizha Town, Xiaoxiang Village, Daxiang Village, which one is not the same bustling. Seeing the Beiqi Tianbao Three Years Statue, we accidentally let out a cry of surprise. The people in the village also showed a smug smile, knowing that the treasure in their village actually frightened this strange visitor. "Is it too old?" They asked proudly. "It's much, much more."

We happily replied, "Almost 400 years." "Ah, 400 years!" We all became proud together.

Let's look at the temples rebuilt in the Jin and Yuan Dynasties here, and the temples rebuilt in the Ming Dynasty there. We discuss the uniqueness of the style, the look of the statues, the procedures, and the sky gradually darkened. We only remembered when we felt thirsty and hungry. The whole day is coming to an end.When we come back and lie on the bed, the beautiful and vivid impressions still hang in front of our eyes, guiding all kinds of pleasant dreams. At the same time, the vegetables and fruits we eat for dinner will provide us with sufficient supplies. Our energy for tomorrow will reach the big sun, the red shine in our faces.

published in
1934年8月25日《大公报·文艺副刊》第96期第12版

each other
The friends met again, nodded and smiled, knowing that this year was no different from previous years, and that they both gained a lot of experience.Individually speaking, each person's experience at this time has a special shape and a special flavor, and needs to be analyzed and described with individual emotions.

To sum up, these many experiences are a whole piece of confusion that seems to be of the same style, same color, same size, and same weight.You touch that corner, and I bump into this end. In the final analysis, it is the confusion that envelopes each other.July! ——These two words are as powerful as the beginning of the history song—August and September brought the strong wind, and later, later, the new year—the unforgettable New Year’s Eve! ——It was that month again, February, March, and July, and it was New Year's Eve again.Now it's January and February again... Who remembers most clearly how this series of days has continued and how life has changed?Thinking about it, neither of them will remember too clearly, everything seems to be spinning in a blur, but who will forget the omentum that is so skin-sharp and full of worries?
After the baptism of gunfire or wandering, the sun and the moon that change and change, don't there be any traces of this experience on each other's faces?But when the whole country is riddled with scars, everyone is "separated and lost...going to the hometown and going far away", naturally "the heart is full and sad, and I don't know where it is", and the lines carved on the face are not the same. Don't surprise each other, so just smile.A few sweet and sour textures are often added to the corners of the mouth, which can help each other chew life.Why not acquiesce in this point: people should smile most when they are confused. Although this kind of laughter is to restrain nerves and muscles, it is only the back of perseverance, but it is necessary, just like protective colors are necessary for many creatures the same.

That night in the middle of the ×× river, on the deck of a certain ship, among the hot and smelly people, he remembered his poverty, hunger, thirst and embarrassment at that time, but what hovered over his head was that reality was like an illusion, The phantasm has become the real murderous tool of the mad enemy again, the agile and modern aircraft: beautiful as fish and bird... A sad smile is necessary here, because the same other person understands the primordial sudden arousal of innocence. The horror of muscular reflexes.He was also thinking about the time when he was sleeping on the platform of the ×× station, there was a moon in the sky, there were people on the left and right, scattered like fallen leaves after being destroyed by wind and rain, curled up shyly, and they were all reminiscing about what they tasted for the first time that day Bombing by enemy planes!The conversation can be extended indefinitely in this way, because now there are so many memories—more bitter and painful than this—in everyone's mind!Just mention a place name, a city or a commercial port that everyone is familiar with, what kind of final impression will emerge with the plenum!
Let’s talk about the day when we first entered a strange city—this experience is so common now—especially at night, except for individual situations and feelings here, what was left in everyone’s hearts was not a dose of familiarity with each other. ?There is astringency in the bitterness, and when the taste invades the spleen and stomach, a small shiver will gently crawl up the back, without the slightest sentimentality!Perhaps he could say that when he entered such-and-such a city that night, he saw a row of bleak lights in front of small shops, which gave off a strange yellow halo, which made him feel a tingle in his throat and a tense feeling. touch.What you remember is that the dim gas lamp behind a certain number station shines into the heart of an unfamiliar street, which makes you feel as if something is lost in your heart.

When that strange city is pointed out on the map, there may be a huge distance between what you passed and what he passed by, and your situation at that time may be completely different from his.

But here, the individual similarities and differences seem to be very irrelevant; what matters is that you and I will nod to each other, understand each other, and then smile at each other.

After opening fire with the enemy at Marco Polo Bridge in July, the footprints across China's land were densely connected, adding to the evidence of China's vast territory.Everyone who has participated in the great rhythm that circulates on this vast land, dust and blood, two very ordinary natural qualities that are rarely ignored by people, now each person in his own corner, happens to both of them. A very cordial acquaintance.Every inch of soil, every drop of blood, these words are very real things that can be touched and grasped, not just a sentence or a "concept".

On the front line of the front line, excitement and fatigue have been mixed with dust and blood to form a body and soul of life.Between sleeping and waking, between hunger and food, between life and death, the distance is almost non-existent!Life is just a force, death is a silent hate, things couldn't be simpler.What is still alive continues to be power, and what is dead continues to pile up into greater hatred.Hate is born again, power turns into hate, and the circulation is bewildered but bravely, and everything else is suspended in the middle of the two, tragically and passionately interspersed.

In the rear, things are not so simple, life is still expanding and contracting slowly; the distance between life and death is just like a long shadow in the evening, long and long, stretching forward as far as possible, as if about to plunge into the night and melt into a blur with the night.In the broad cycle of day and night, there are more interspersed and reversed. The world is really endless, and people grow and work hard.The interludes of life are messy and trivial, with no special color or outline at all, let alone heroic and heroic elements.The spots are just like little blood rust coagulating on life, imprinting life in you most inadvertently.If you have the ambition not to let life fail in small places, gradually weaken, from sharp to blunt, from tension to relaxation, you have to be more grateful for the many ordinary and trivial frictions that pass through your nerves day and night, Muscle or consciousness.At this time, the sigh is suspended, because although everything is small, it is definitely not the familiar sentimentality before.Every experience has its brawny truth, leaving no room for sighing.

The sweet and sour lines around the mouth are portrayed by actual sorrow and joy, and it is a kind of persevering smile.Because life is neither a simple flame, but itself is very heavy, requiring the support of resilience, and the power to produce this support.

Now the rear question is where is the source of this power?Never with your usual well-balanced mind—that's not enough, God knows!Especially at this time, emotion is "jumping like soup" under the skin, as if what it needs is a super-intellectual impulse!
Now the slow life in the back, the tense emotions, the friction between the two sides is melancholy and unresolved, and everyone can sing "The Manmanxi of the End of the Long Night" with distress and enthusiasm. , or "I'd rather die and go into exile, than I can't bear to worry about it!" Where is the main force supporting this day?You and I live and die without reviewing its meaning to be arrogant.It also needs a little solid support.

I know a man, a very ordinary man with a difficult life, who wrote to his friend that although his voice was always so dry, he would tell his friend privately in a hoarse voice that he felt that no matter what It was a time when he felt honored to live and die with blood or without blood for the dear old country, and it was extraordinary that he must now be content with both life and death.These words may strike echoes on many heartstrings. I often wonder where this simple and simple emotion comes from.belief?Like a spring flowing through my consciousness, I began to understand that there is a source of pure power besides rationality and passionate impulse.Confidence generates power and can store power.

How long has faith sat among us, have you and I noticed it?Isn't the strength given to us by faith also the tenacity and tenacity?We all believe that if we all live or die faithfully for it, our great nation will march on forever, from age to age.Is this why we still smile and nod each other when life is so difficult and death is so easy?Now that life is like this, each other’s adversity is the same, this confidence is self-righteous, our main connection at this time, if you don’t believe me, if you ask him why he is still living so toughly, his answer will naturally be your answer, if he also asks you.

How long has faith sat among us?The confidence that reason and enthusiasm can't replace!

When I think about many things, in the process of thinking, they are always so obscure, and when I understand them, I am amused to think of such simple and obvious facts!At this moment, I wiped off the sweat on my forehead, and I could almost realize the lines around my mouth. I respected that sweet and sour smile, because I understood that it was strength.

(End of this chapter)